The Choices We Make
by OnyxIvyStone
Summary: The final battle has been won. Ultimate sacrifices have been made. Life must go on. For Kagome and Sesshomaru, their future and the ultimate destiny of those closest to them are entirely dependant on the choices they make. Undergoing revisions.
1. The Price We Pay

_**(A note because I love you:**_

_**I, Ivy, am rewriting this story, editing it with the same love it was written, because I simply can't take it any more. You are all right. There are little bits and pieces that need to be fixed and I am finally going to fix them. I plan on working to incorporate the last bit "Everything in Between" into areas where it would make sense for the story as flashbacks. I will be amending some of the things that have bothered me the most about this story and have also been bothering you all. Little things that make all the difference. Some wording will be reworked, but on the whole, what I wrote will remain. I'm just making it better, adding things that I left out the first time and trying to make it just a little bit better. Because I love you guys and I love this story and I'm a perfectionist. So sit back, enjoy and have patience with me as I indulge my inner editing monkey. Oh, and I don't own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be. Not even if I beg and plead. Oh well. Peace. Ivy.)**_

**Prologue;**

**The price we pay**

They had been traveling companions for almost five years. The hanyo they hunted was sly and never alone. Now, as they stood near the great well of time, engaged in the final battle for the Shikon no Tama, all knew that if they failed today it would not only be their lives they lost but the future of their world would also be decided by a monster of pure evil.

Kagome had not been home in nearly two years. She had made the decision to suspend her life in the time of her birth until Naraku was dealt with in the past to ensure that her time was safe. Her worst fears had come to life when it was discovered that Naraku's aim was no longer to rule the past with the assistance of the Shikon no Tama, but to journey to the future where youkai were fables and there were no great warriors to thwart him as once there had been. She feared for her family, her friends, and the world she'd left behind. It was uncertain how Naraku had discovered her origin laid in the future, however, it was safe to assume that the dark child, who had once slipped into her soul in order to make her minion to the dark hanyou, had gained knowledge greater than her weakness.

In front of her were her beloved friends. Inuyasha, in true form, had been unable to keep his promise to her and turned back to Kikyo. He could not help himself and, as she was waning and her power was fading, Kagome could see the pain that it caused her beloved friend. Still, Kikyo was strong. Whether or not they won, she knew this would be her last battle and though her heart ached for it, the serene miko had accepted her fate, said her goodbyes and was at peace. Kagome had also made peace with Kikyo. The two had become friends and, just as Kagome had learned how to channel her energies and control her emotions so that she could become as powerful as Kikyo, she had also learned that there are many kinds of love.

She loved Inuyasha now not as a lover, but as her companion, friend and fellow warrior. She had been able to purify her own being and let go of her jealousy, pain and fear. She had learned to float with the tide and accept completely and with her whole heart whatever fate and destiny had decided for her. Now, as she looked at the star-crossed lovers, her heart ached for them. All she wanted was for them to know peace and true happiness once when it could not be spoiled. Miroku and Sango stood tall and together as always. Kagome only wanted the same for them and for Shippo and Kirara. All of them had seen their lives and worlds, their hopes, dreams and happiness vaporized by Naraku. Kagome, fearless in the face of what she knew to be pure evil, understood that he had to be ended here and now. She now believed in pure evil and true darkness because it stood before her in the form of Naraku. However she also believed in the power of light because if Naraku could be so great and formidable, surely there was another who could counter his malevolence with the light of their soul alone.

The battle was fought furiously. A rain of youkai corpses littered the ground and the blood of the vile dead poured upon the whole area. Still, Naraku waited. He was proud. Kagome could see in his eyes that all he wanted was to see Inuyasha and Kikyo die as well as witness the ends of the others. He wanted to see the last hope for the world vanish in agony before he left to destroy the future. He was also waiting for Kagome to make a mistake as she shot bright, pure arrows into more and more youkai so he could take her life and claim the final fragment of the Shikon no Tama. She would not let that happen. She could not. And still, it did. Naraku found his chance as Kagome shifted her attention to a desperate Kikyo. The last of her spiritual energy had been sapped and a litter of small but venomous youkai was assaulting her. Inuyasha was pinned by a large youkai several yards away and could not save her. His impassioned cries filled Kagome's ears. How many times she had heard him call her name with that same fear in his voice? She wouldn't force him to watch Kikyo die again. She turned her energy and focus from Naraku who had been deflecting her arrows one after another and slew the youkai that advanced on Kikyo. Then her world went dark as a great bolt of dark energy ran through her, channeled through the hand of Naraku in the distance.

There was an agony she had never felt before pass along the course of all her charkas. Her heart stalled and she fell, hearing her name called out in pure terror as her life ended.

One...

There was still lingering warmth, but it was falling away from her as lightly and fleetingly as a passing touch.

Two...

The light was fading from her view. Darkness was enveloping her and she felt her first twinge of panic.

Three...

She was alone and terrified. She was stripped of everything and utterly naked in the face of eternity. Who she was began to fade away as her soul was reclaimed by the divine powers and she was formed into someone and something new.

She never made it to four. She felt the searing power of light and heaven pull her back into her body. She awoke with a choked cry. Above her knelt Sesshomaru with his sword of heaven held near her wound. He nodded to her and sheathed his sword, then put out his hand to her, helping her stand again. He was defending them with his own shield. Why had he saved her? Over the last few years, he had become more of an ally than nemesis, however he had never shown much more than a desire to destroy Naraku through his icy facade. That had to be it. She was another soldier to him. She was another who could help defeat the vile youkai before them.

"This Sesshomaru will neutralize Naraku's shield." He said simply without so much as a glance from his deep amber eyes. Kagome responded with a subtle nod. She understood and readied her arrow.

Sesshomaru dashed foreword, leaving her vulnerable for an instant before she generated a thin shield of her own. Naraku's attention had turned to killing his adversaries again and was away from Kagome and the quickly advancing Sesshomaru. He thought she was dead, and so she had been. It was not a mistake to turn away from her when he did, however fate was not on his side. Naraku was throwing the world out of balance as he had thrown the Shikon no Tama out of balance and now, just as only a tiny fragment that hung around Kagome's neck in its glass vial remained pure, true, good and filled with life, only this small band of warriors stood between the world of now and the world of the future becoming entirely embraced by evil. She watched as Sesshomaru produced a small pouch from his cloak and thrust it against the wall of Naraku's barrier. It melted away and Naraku cried out in surprise and sudden fear. Kagome aimed, not for Naraku himself, but the Shikon no Tama where he kept it on his person. Shattering it would shatter his power and give the rest of them a chance. She let her arrow fly and it hit its mark. Thousands of dark, corrupted shards flew outward, spearing through the air and up, obscuring the light of the setting sun and the rising moon.

"Now, Inuyasha!" Kagome called out and the hanyo turned to the child near the fray. Naraku's heart. As Naraku's shield had fallen away, so had the boy's. Inuyasha rushed foreword and unleashed the power of his sword. The boy cried out in fear and agony as he was caught up in the sudden rush of destructive force. He was torn asunder, utterly destroyed by Naraku's most hated opponent. Naraku fell, clutching his chest. He let out a low moan of pain. Sesshomaru raised and lowered his sword in one swift motion, destroying Naraku completely.

The battlefield calmed and quieted. All of Naraku's minions had been destroyed and the rest of the youkai had departed. Miroku stood stunned, staring at his hand. The wind tunnel was gone. He turned to Sango and embraced her, kissing her deeply. Shippo danced happily beside Kirara who shifted down and purred, nuzzling Shippo's leg. Then she turned her attention to Kikyo and Inuyasha. He held her so tenderly. Kagome could feel Kikyo's life fade from the clay form she had worn so long. The shards still hung darkly above them. Kagome stood and pulled her shard from the vial and focused her pure energy, drawing them from the sky to join the one she held in her hand. Slowly the Shikon no Tama reformed and was purified utterly. She walked to Inuyasha and Kikyo. The miko was fading fast. She knelt down and felt the eyes of everyone, including the inuyoukai Lord, falling on her. She met Inuyasha's eyes.

"I've seen your past. I've seen into both of your hearts and I want nothing but for you both to be happy. You've neither known anything but pain and hatred for so long. Now I will give you both a gift... The only gift left to give. I will grant your wishes. To be a mortal woman and a human man living together in union."

Inuyasha looked at her in both fear and joy and yet, still, there was apprehension. "You would do this... For us? After everything that has passed between us?"

"Because of everything that has passed between us, Inuyasha. I love you. Not as my lover. It surpasses that. I love you for your faults and your perfections. I love you, who you are. I love you enough to let you go. I love you enough to give you the happiness you deserve, even if I am not the one who joins you in happiness." She presented the completed, purified Shikon no Tama to them and closed her eyes. She prayed and began to channel the energy of the Shikon no Tama into the both of them. She severed her soul from Kikyo, reclaiming it as her own, but replaced it with a new, full soul and rebuilt her human body. Inuyasha shifted slowly, gradually becoming his human self. He watched Kagome in wonder and with slight regret. He had never known or understood until now what he had missed. He had never been able to grasp that Kagome, not Kikyo, was the woman he had been seeking to share eternity with. Though Kikyo was beautiful, strong and serene, she was not capable of what Kagome had just proven herself to be. Kagome was selfless and always true to herself. The Shikon no Tama faded and turned to silky sand in her palms. A pale but pure light emanated from it and rose. The soul that had been embattled within so long was free. As it faded into the ether, Kagome let out a soft sigh and let the sand pass through her fingers. She stood and looked to the well.

"Goodbye." She whispered to it, then turned toward the setting sun and began to walk away. She paused and turned back to them, giving each a meaningful look. "Please. Don't follow me." Then she turned again and entered the forest without further word.

"Kagome, where are you going? We've won! We've finally defeated Naraku!" Shippo cried out, beginning to run to her. Then he stopped, the realization of her sacrifice falling over him as suddenly as it did the rest of them. She paused only briefly, and then continued to walk away.

"She can never go home now..." Sango whispered, tears falling down her face. "She can never return to her own time now that the Shikon no Tama has been destroyed..."

Inuyasha held Kikyo close. His fully human heart broke for his beloved friend. His brother walked past him, and then paused before returning to his own camp and to Rin and Jaken. "You are a fool, Inuyasha." He said simply without looking back. Inuyasha could tell he was watching as Kagome began to vanish into the forest. "You have everything you've ever said you wanted and still you ache as if you have lost everything you ever had." He dropped the pouch he had used to disperse Naraku's shield. The ashes of Naraku's once mortal body spilled out into the grass. "That is the price we pay when we try to direct our destiny rather than allowing ourselves to be pulled and moved by fate to our true rewards."

"What do you know about it, Sesshomaru?" Inuyasha asked callously. His eyes had grown hard and hateful, though it was hard to tell if it was his brother he hated or himself at the moment.

"I know what I have witnessed here today, Inuyasha. The war was won today, but the casualty of every battle up until this point has not been you or the miko you hold. Not even the priest and youkai slayer who stand behind me. She who is now completely alone in this world, this time not even her own, has been made the martyr of each skirmish. She has borne with grace what would have toppled gods and has given of her self over and over again when she did not have to and without any expectation of gain. Now she has given everything she held dearest to her for something so minute as the knowledge that she has done well and those she loves best will be happy. I cannot fathom how a heart so fragile and pure could ever withstand such things." He turned slightly so he could see Inuyasha out of the corner of his eye. "And so you are a fool because you could not see even remotely what has been so clear for so long to everyone else. You are a fool because you chose death over life and the past over the future. Yet, now, it would seem it no longer matters. You have what you've always wanted. I only grieve for the girl... I grieve for the pure miko who saved us all today."

Inuyasha watched as his brother continued away. His heart hurt from the chiding of Sesshomaru not because he cared what his brother thought, but because he was right, as painful as it was to admit. He'd made the wrong choice... And he couldn't ever take it back.


	2. Where The Pieces Fell

_**Rewritten because I wanted to make you happy.**_

_**I do not own Inuyasha. I keep wishing that it wasn't true, but if wishes were puppy-boys then Ivy's would have cute fuzzy ears to play with.**_

_**Ivy**_

**Chapter One;**

**Where the pieces fell**

Six months had passed since the final battle with Naraku. Inuyasha had been joined with Kikyo and they had settled in the same village where their adventures had begun. Kaede, now even feebler, had helped them settle and watched with both pleasure and worry as the young couple made their lives far from battles and quests. It was the life that they had dreamed of, but now and then Kaede's wise gaze caught a glimpse of Inuyasha watching and gazing in the direction of the old well. She knew the look in his eyes because she had seen it so many times when he looked on Kagome in her times of greatest danger. Too late he realized what he felt for her and, having the fate he chose, he ached for the destiny he could have had if he only had let go of the past and let Kikyo rest. Yet he stayed. Kagome had never returned to the village. She had vanished into the forest, becoming the wandering miko. As much as each of their companions had wanted to go after her and bring her home, they respected her final plea to them. Her eyes had said more than the words, which passed through her lips. They pleaded with them to let her go as she had let go of her home and family. Each ached for it, but they did as she had asked.

They heard stories of such a miko saving villages from the occasional youkai or walking into a battlefield while men cut into each other without fear and with a grace and serenity that made both sides pause and look on her as she knelt to the dying, healing them with a touch. Sango and Miroku had visited now and again on their pilgrimages from Miroku's temple high in the mountains. There, Shippo had taken up residence, growing up and working to become a great warrior in his own right. They, too, had only heard stories of the wandering, lone miko of mercy, but had not seen her or heard from Kagome since the final battle either.

Only Kouga, who had returned to his tribe, had seen her. One night he caught view of her on a hill, looking over his encampment. He bounded up to her and they stood in silence. He said she had worn clothing not of a true miko, but that of a mortal highborn Lady. She told him a kind Lord who had taken pity on her as she had embarked on her travels had given her the clothing. She said that she had come to let at least one of her old friends know that she was well so the others could rest in the knowledge of her fate.

"There was sadness in her, Kaede." Kouga said softly, looking down at his clawed hands. "It was a kind of sadness I'd never seen in her before... Her fire was still there, but she was cold and seemed lost. The girl who we knew as Kagome is gone. She has become the woman Kagome and I think it saddens her as much as it does me."

"What ye have told me makes me worry for Kagome's true safety. Ye say she is sad, but I think perhaps she is lonely. For years the girl had traveled with a band that loved her and protected her. She knows she cannot belong with them any longer. They all have changed, you see? Changed in such a way that she cannot because she is not of this world, Kouga. She is not of this time and never can be. To be happy now, she would need to find those who are as much out of time and free of it as she is." Kaede replied.

Inuyasha sat in his corner, sulking as he had so many times before. Kikyo sat near him. She could sense his anger and frustration. How she longed to set him free, but she knew his honor would never allow him to leave her. She was not a fool. She knew that while she had Inuyasha in her bed, his heart was with Kagome and would be forever. She had lost him years before but could not accept it as she did now. She watched him for a moment and sighed. She could accept it, but even as much as she wanted to free him, even if she thought he would go, she knew in the end she wouldn't let him go. She couldn't. That was what made her foolish. She wanted to be selfless as Kagome had been. That was what made Inuyasha want her over Kikyo, but it wasn't in her nature. It had never been. It would never be. Not to the degree that it was in Kagome's nature.

"Perhaps in her travels she will find someone to help soothe her loneliness, Kaede." Kikyo said softly.

"I would think that she would, sister. Still, I worry for Kagome. We gained so much from her sacrifice. The world gained so much. I only wish she could have something of her own."

------

She sat in the clearing, her legs folded in lotus position, her arms resting lightly on her knees. Her hair fell in long, ebony tendrils down past her waist into a pool on the ground. Her thick bangs had grown out so they framed her face in a long layer that hugged her jaw in a light wave and upon her brow had been stained a deep blue mark in the shape of a four pointed star. The night was cool and dark with no moon. The forest sang all around her with the nocturnal living things making their little way through the world. She listened to every sound, identifying every creature she heard and located it. She was waiting for him. Every month on the first night of the new moon he had found her and kept her company since he had saved her life and they had defeated Naraku. They spoke little of what had transpired in their separate lives or of the past. When they did converse, it was about the mysteries of the spiritual and the world around them.

She never spoke of the time of her birth and he said little of his court. She never questioned why he came to her. She never needed to ask. However, though she had never mentioned her gratitude to him, she was glad he did come and alleviate her loneliness. He reminded her of what she had left behind her and whom she had turned away from. He made the sacrifice she had made worth the loss if only because in him she had found an equal who saw some nobility in her soul. It mattered not that they had been enemies before. All of that was over.

The first night he came to her he found her in heartache. She had journeyed for hours, walking until her feet had begun to bleed. She collapsed in a heap deep in the forest, leaving herself vulnerable. She did not care in that moment. She felt she had lost everything by giving so much that she loved. No one could return to her what she had given up. She had been so very alone. She awoke several hours later warm and in Sesshomaru's castle. He had found her and carried her, riding his acid cloud along with Rin and Jaken, and laid her in his bed, ordering his servants to bathe her as she slept, tend her wounds and bring her food. At the edge of the bed lay a beautiful blue kimono and well-made sandals and stockings. Food was set out for her nearby and tea. She found herself naked, but clean and well tended. A servant girl had helped her dress and combed her long hair, anointing it with oils and making it smoother than it ever had been. She ate quietly, and then inquired of the girl where Lord Sesshomaru was.

"He is in attending the young Rin. Each evening he holds her as she drifts to sleep. She has such horrible nightmares if he does not." The girl said softly, then bowed. "He said to inform you once you had eaten that he would meet you in the courtyard just outside his room." She motioned to the door across the room. "Is there anything else, Lady Kagome?"

She smiled faintly. "No. Thank you."

When the girl left, she finished her tea and then stood, walking gingerly to the door. The kimono flowed behind her, gently kissing the ground as she walked. She opened the door and looked out into the private courtyard. It was a beautiful manicured garden with a fountain, trees and grass. She slipped on the sandals left for her and walked slowly through the garden, looking at everything quietly. After a moment she sat, tucking her legs beside her, gently leaning on her arm. She closed her eyes, taking in the sounds of the courtyard and the castle. After a long while, she sensed someone watching her and approaching slowly. She opened her eyes and nodded to Sesshomaru who stood at the doorway to his room. He returned the nod, slipped on his sandals and walked to where she sat, sitting beside her without a word. He had removed his armor and wore only the fine silks of his regular attire. His swords were nowhere to be seen.

For a long while they said nothing, then Kagome found the question she had wanted to ask. "Why did you bring me back to life? You could have killed Naraku yourself and stolen back the Shikon no Tama without me but instead you gave me back my life and gave me the chance to purify the Shikon no Tama. Why would you decide to do that?"

He did not answer for a long while, and then looked to the sky. The moon was almost completely gone. The next night there would be no light at all. "Why did you use the Shikon no Tama to save Kikyo and make Inuyasha a human man when you knew very well you'd never be able to return home again after you did? Why would you give the man you loved deeply enough to sacrifice everything you've ever known the one person who would keep you apart when you could have let her die and gained everything you've ever desired?"

"You answer my question with another question?"

He did not respond.

She sighed and looked up to the moon as well. She had always loved the nights of the new moon. Inuyasha had become human then, when the source of his youkai power was shielded from him. He was gentle and tender then, but even then she knew that Kikyo was deeply and completely in his heart. "It seemed the right thing to do. It seemed right to give him, who I love so deeply, his heart's desire and make his dreams come true. I didn't care at the time that I would never be able to go home again. I didn't think of it until it was done and I realized I was there, alone. Still, I wouldn't take it back." She thought a moment longer. "And I couldn't stand to see him watch her die again. I couldn't let him feel that pain and let him blame himself... Because no matter what happens, I love him. Purely and deeply no matter what he's done or ever will do. It's so strange to me in a way. Since I realized that I didn't care if he ever loved me back the same way, I understood that I could love anyone in the same way if I let myself. I could love them without question, even if they were evil and I would gladly give my life to save another, even if I didn't know them."

"It is your nature."

"Yes."

He was silent again and so was she. It wasn't until much later that she realized he had never answered her question. Much later, as the Eastern sky began to turn pink with the coming of the dawn, he spoke.

"You are welcome to stay here, Kagome. You are welcome as long as you wish whenever you wish to stay. Perhaps one day when you have mourned what you have lost, you could think of my castle as your home or at least a place of rest when you tire of wandering."

She thought on this for a long while. The first beams of light kissed the garden and her face. She smiled faintly and gently leaned her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes. He tensed for an instant, and then allowed himself to relax. "Thank you, Lord Sesshomaru. Perhaps one day I will."

He stood as the sun had risen completely and offered Kagome his hand. She took it and sighed. "I think I need to sleep... I'm exhausted."

He nodded and looked to his room. "There is another room that opens to this garden across the courtyard. If you would like, you may take your rest there and if it pleases you, I will make sure it is reserved for your visits."

She smiled and squeezed his hand gently before releasing it. He looked at her quizzically, and then nodded. "Thank you, Lord Sesshomaru. I will go rest now. Sleep well." Then she walked across the courtyard finding the door he spoke of. As she slipped off her sandals, she could still feel his eyes upon her. She turned as she entered the room and nodded to him. His amber eyes widened slightly and he nodded to her, and then walked to his own room to take his rest.

The room was furnished beautifully but simply. The low bed was covered with rich silks and pillows and painted lanterns hung from the ceiling. She slipped out of her kimono and under the blankets, lying back with a sigh. She looked to the door and thought of Sesshomaru. She had been surprised when he saved her life and brought her back from the dead, but his charity and kindness now was so unlike what she had come to expect from him she found herself slightly confused and uncertain what he might do.

Now, as she sat awaiting his arrival, she still wondered in her heart why it was that he had saved her and taken such an interest in her safety and happiness. A thought occurred to her suddenly. His question that he had asked as a reply… Why had she made her wish when she knew she would gain nothing from it? A faint smile touched her lips and something within her stilled within the center of her entirely. She knew that she would gain nothing from her wish except to know that Inuyasha would be happy and he knew he would gain nothing by saving her except to know that she would live. Perhaps as Inuyasha's happiness was paramount in her mind, so her life was of the utmost importance to Sesshomaru? She couldn't even fathom such a thought, but it made her smile, none the less. She could sense him approach. His energies were unmistakable even though she couldn't hear his footfalls. As a soft breeze swept past them, her scent touched him and he breathed deeply. "I have been waiting for you."

He sat next to her and she leaned on him with the same ease she had that first night in his castle. A faint smile touched his lip as he sat with her. There was something about the miko that made him completely at ease in her presence. He had missed her since she had left him several months before, however he had never said as much. "You are further South than you were last month. It took longer to reach you."

"Shall we continue where we left off?"

He nodded and turned slightly to her. She reached to his right side and pushed up his sleeve revealing the stump of his missing arm. She focused her energies carefully and placed her delicate fingers onto his flesh. He shuddered as she began knitting bone, muscle and skin flawlessly to his own. He would have regenerated his arm given enough centuries, however Kagome had discovered she could quicken the process. It left her drained and only a small portion could be done each night he came to her. Still, she seemed to find some joy in the action. He assumed it was to repay her debt to him. He had saved her life three times. Once when he had brought her back and the second time when she had collapsed in the forest, leaving herself prone and vulnerable to attack. The first time had been years before. He had surprised even himself then. He had given her a home in his palace and continued to ensure her safety in his own way. The star on her brow had been placed there shortly before she'd left his home so that he could track her and know of her well-being.

She had barely stayed with him a week before she came to his side. Her eyes were broken and sad in a way that physically hurt him. "Kagome, what has happened?"

She looked into his eyes and he felt a pang pass through his belly. This woman who had so captured his attention and care had gained power over him she was unaware she possessed. He longed to reach out to her and hold her until her pain faded, but he refrained. Too little time had passed since she had made her sacrifice and he had brought her into his home. She needed to heal and there was so much more that needed to grow between them before he could validate giving any physical comfort.

"I wish to make this place my home, Sesshomaru, so believe me when I say no matter where I go, I will think of your castle as my haven. Still, I am a miko. I need to do what it is in my nature to do. I need to return to the people and help them. I need to return to my duties or else I will never be able to find myself worthy of the power I've been given."

"Haven't you sacrificed enough to be worthy of your sacred power, Lady?" He asked simply. He studied her intensely and he saw her shiver slightly at the intensity of his gaze. He did not want her to go.

"It isn't that simple. Denying my desire to be among the humans and help them, heal them, fight with and for them would be like you denying your position as Lord of the Western lands. My power is as much my birthright as your title is yours." She said softly. "I do not wish to leave, but to stay brings me pain not because I dislike your company, or being close to Rin or that you have given me a home. It brings me pain because I am not meant to be sedimentary. I am a missionary of Kami. I am the bearer of power and love from the light. I can't turn my back on that."

He nodded slowly and sighed. He maintained his stately composure, though inside he felt strained. Since he had met her, she had found a way to make an impression on him. He had nearly killed her several times, though as he looked back those times that he had were products of his desire to slay Inuyasha. Had he met Kagome alone he was certain that he wouldn't have. Perhaps he would have realized how pure and worthy of protection she was sooner. "Indulge me one thing, then."

"Anything."

He smiled faintly, meeting her eyes again. _Anything_, he mused. Did she realize what she had just left herself open to? "Allow me to place a mark upon you that will give me the ability to know of your welfare. It will only be visible on the night of the new moon and only then will I come to see if you are well and in need of anything I might be able to provide."

One of her delicate brows arched high incredulously. "A mark?"

"A four point star on your brow. It will also ensure that if any taiyoukai attempt to harm you, they will know that you are under my protection."

"You believe I am incapable of caring for myself?"

"No, Lady. However a beautiful wandering woman, a miko no less, is bound to draw attention. With my mark you would be at least promised some insurance in case you are overwhelmed. And besides..." He smiled wickedly. "You did say anything."

She sighed in amusement. Her eyes twinkled faintly. "I will indulge you this one thing, then. Since you are so clever."

"That I am."

She only smiled in response. Later that day he had stained her brow and gently pressed his lips to the blue star infusing his energies into the mark. He wondered if she grasped all of the implications that came with the mark. Perhaps someday he would explain it to her. Maybe when he did she would find it amusing. Perhaps she would be infuriated. That made him smile to think of. When she raged, her fire emblazed her beauty even further until she glowed with life, passion and ethereal power.

She returned to leaning against him once she had spent the last of her healing energies for that night. The final session would return his hand to him. As of yet, no one but she and he knew of the gradual return of his severed limb. He gently pulled her into his arms. She smiled and looked up into his eyes. "Do you believe we can choose our fates, Sesshomaru?"

"Yes. Though I believe that too often both humans, youkai and hanyo become caught up in failings like honor, fear and pride."

She frowned softly. "Fear and pride I could see as failings, but honor?"

"As a warrior I am acquainted intimately with honor, Kagome. It is the greatest thing we can strive toward. However, honor upheld to a dishonorable end is foolish and damaging."

"What do you mean?"

His mind fell instantly on Inuyasha. His honor had been caught up in his decision to choose Kikyo over Kagome. The woman had played on his heart and guilt for something that hadn't even been his fault. He had been too afraid of the consequences that would come with abandoning his promise to the undead miko and his pride would not allow him to admit that he had been wrong. Sesshomaru looked down on the woman who rested so quietly and patiently in his arms for his answer. He couldn't open that wound again. He wouldn't. He had seen too much pain come from the damage his half brother had done. "If I were to uphold an honorable vow when the person I made the vow to only issued it from me through deceit and guilt, then my honor would twist into dishonor. Destiny does not become caught in such vices. It only asks us to follow our hearts to what would truly make us happy in the end. When we allow ourselves to be directed by something other than the truth we find in our hearts, we abandon what Kami has decided for us. We decide our fates and when that happens, we abandon the happiness and lessons which should have been ours."

"Like Inuyasha."

It dropped from her mouth without any prompting and barely a moment of silence between them. He felt himself start slightly. There was so much pain in those two simple words. He met her eyes with sympathy and warmth. "Yes. Like Inuyasha."

"Is that why I ache so deeply? Because I lost my destiny?"

He sighed and pulled her into an embrace. She began to sob against him. A faint growl escaped him no matter how hard he fought it back. "You lost the original destiny Kami intended for you, yes. Some things we cannot control in life when they interfere with our destinies, however there are also concrete choices presented to us. To go one way or the other. The way of our hearts or the way of our vices. Though you lost your destiny with Inuyasha, it does not mean that you have lost any hope for happiness. You are a good and beautiful person, Kagome. Kami would not allow you to be unhappy for long. You need only follow your heart and you will find what you desire. I know this."

"You speak as if you are well acquainted with all of this. How many times have you turned your back on your destiny, Sesshomaru?"

He chuckled and sighed. "Enough times that I fear I will not have many times left to reclaim it. It has taught me hard lessons. But I think perhaps I am ready to let go of control now."

She contemplated this for a moment and then sighed. "Will you take me home, Sesshomaru? I'm so tired and I've missed... Everything."

She wasn't ready yet. Perhaps someday she would be. He stood slowly while still holding her to his chest. "You have been missed." He replied softly and ascended to the skies again, flying back to his palace to the West.


	3. Where Angels Fear To Tread

Rewritten because I'm a perfectionist and just couldn't let it lay.

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Sometimes, in my fantasies, I do, but then I wake up and am very depressed because the puppy-boy most definitely is not mine. Then I write more fan fiction.**_

_**Ivy**_

**Chapter two;**

**Where angels fear to tread**

When she woke she found herself in her room at the castle. She smiled and sighed as she turned to look at the door to the courtyard. Soft diffused light poured yellow through the paper screens onto her face. _Home. I'm home. _The thought didn't ache like it had when she first began considering Sesshomaru's home her own. Home had once been the future and her family's shrine. That would never be again. The simple thought drew tears from her eyes, which she quickly stifled. No. She wouldn't cry. She couldn't or else the tears just wouldn't stop coming.

She thought back to her conversation with Sesshomaru the night before. If it were true, then perhaps Inuyasha would have a new destiny as well. Perhaps he would be happy. Perhaps. She could only hope. She considered if she wanted to rise from her bed this morning. She was exhausted from helping to regenerate Sesshomaru's arm the evening before. She'd done more than she had in previous sessions and only had his hand remaining now. Certainly he could forgive her missing breakfast. She turned over and drifted off again. When she heard the knock at her door, the warm light that had kissed her face that morning was gone and was replaced by a waning grey giving way to night. She sat up quickly, gasping. "Yes?"

"Lady Kagome, Lord Sesshomaru sent me to check on you. Are you well?" Asked a servant still in the hall. "You have slept through the whole of a day. Would you like food brought to you?"

"Yes... Yes, please. Give my apologies to Lord Sesshomaru." She replied. When she heard them leaving she stood and went to the basin to wash up. She smiled faintly, touching her brow where the star had shown the previous night. Sesshomaru had become so much more than an ally these past months. He made her feel safe and wanted every time they saw each other. Too many times Inuyasha had made her feel as if he couldn't have cared less whether she was with them or not. There he was again. Why couldn't she let him go? She wanted him to be happy. She wanted him to have what he'd always dreamed. So why did some part of her still yearn for him? _What's so wrong with missing your friend, Kagome? Inuyasha has meant more to you than a lover. He never really was a lover to you. What you wanted from him hadn't slipped past a dream so why should that dream be so hard to release? _"Because there's nothing else to hold onto any more. If I could go back to my time... If I could find something here to cling to or someone then it wouldn't be so hard. You aren't clinging because you want him. You refuse to release your death grip because you're afraid." She murmured, answering herself while looking at her reflection in the washbasin. "What did he say to you last night, Kagome? What did Sesshomaru say? Honor, pride and fear keep us from our destiny. When you decided to make your wish on the Shikon no Tama, you were free and unhindered. There wasn't anything to fear then. There's nothing now." _Only being alone. Only facing the whole of time and the world alone. _"Alone... Am I really alone?"

He watched her seemingly talking to herself through the crack between the door and the jam. A faint smile touched his lips before he knocked on the door. "Lady, I came to share a meal with you in the courtyard if you are willing."

She turned sharply, startling. She had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't sensed him approaching. "Sesshomaru... Of course. Let me freshen up a bit and I will be out with you shortly."

"Certainly." He replied and turned to the hall to return to his room. He reached beneath his sleeve, touching the tender wrist she had formed the night before. _You aren't alone, Kagome. You needn't be afraid. If only I could tell you so._

------

He had not touched her for nearly a week now. Since Kouga had told of how Kagome had visited him, Inuyasha had become distant. Before he had always wanted her even though a part of her knew that half of the time he was not seeing her face. He was seeing Kagome's face. Now he never came to her and hardly ever touched her. He walked for hours, returning to bed near dawn if he ever did. When word came that Sango had given birth to Miroku's first child and that they had named her Kagome in honor of their friend, not only had he distanced himself physically from her, he pulled away from her emotionally. In her sorrow, Kikyo had turned to a young man in the village for comfort even before he had turned away from her. Before Inuyasha had pulled away it was for the thrill, the curiosity of it all. Now it was for solace. She sat resting from gathering herbs for healing potions, sitting beside the road to the village.

Her mind raced and twisted with fear and anticipation of her next meeting with the young man. Had she known she would be given a chance to find her destiny rather than clinging to Inuyasha and his love, for it was all she had known, she would never have given her heart so freely. She wondered idly whether she ever had given any of herself at all to him but her body. She wondered if the only thing she had done was claim Inuyasha's heart as her own selfishly because she was afraid of being alone.

It was a strange thought that when she finally possessed him and had him bound to her that she would lose so much of him. Even when he was near her, he was with Kagome. Kagome who had stayed by his side through everything. Kagome who forgave him everything. Kagome who gave him everything. Kagome the good. Kagome the pure. Kagome, Kagome, Kagome... The name tasted bitter in her mouth. Even now she couldn't let him go because she knew his heart was lost to her. Even when she'd found happier pleasures elsewhere; she desperately clung to the once great hanyo Inuyasha. She'd manipulated him when they had first met. She wanted to be free of her birth right as the protector of the Shikon no Tama. She wanted to be able to make her own destiny and then there came the hanyo that so caught her fancy. She had loved him after a fashion, but it was when she saw his obsession that she knew he would do anything to make her happy. Even give up the power of his blood that, while tortured him so greatly, gave him purpose, definition and self.

When she had been brought back from her grave, she fought to keep herself from being returned to hell. Her selfishness in the end had damned her there. She still feared hell for she knew that her crimes while caught in her clay body would follow her even though Kagome had formed and birthed her a new soul. She'd devoured the wandering souls of the innocent in order to survive. She'd betrayed the man she claimed to love and even tricked him into vowing to join her in hell. She'd stolen him from his own destiny with her reincarnation and still felt no remorse. She wanted Kagome to be happy, only not with Inuyasha. There was some part of her that ached knowing the agony she caused the two lovers, however Kami would give Kagome something to replace what she took. Kagome was good and pure and worthy.

She walked to the tree where she knew Inuyasha would be perched upon. He looked out over the village to the West. His eyes were a deep brown now, almost black. He was mortal and beautiful in his own right. She was thankful that he did not have his youkai blood any longer or else he would have scented the young man all over her. "You look toward your brother's realm."

He looked down to her and nodded. "Some part of me thinks Kagome is with him. He became fond of her. Respected her. After he saved her during the battle I realized he would take up my role of her protector and that brings me some peace."

"Oh? I thought you hated your brother."

"I do. But I know that if he claims her as his responsibility she will never want for anything or fear anything. Sesshomaru isn't a good man, but he's honorable and treasures strength and beauty. Kagome is both those things."

She winced while he wasn't looking. His eyes were on the sunset. "Come to dinner, Inuyasha. Then join me in bed."

"Did you enjoy your afternoon walk?"

His voice was slightly chilled and it sent cold through her body. "Yes, it was pleasurable."

"I'm sure he was." He looked down and met her eyes with slight cruelty. "My senses might not be as keen as they were, Kikyo, but I'm not stupid. Save your honor and confess how long it's been going on."

She stiffened and took a step back, but shook her head. "You are mistaken."

"Lie if you must. I know the truth. And don't fear, I'm not going to abandon you. It would disrespect and dishonor Kagome's sacrifice. No. I will pretend to be happy with you even though your very presence disgusts me. And as much as I hate Sesshomaru, he was right. I was foolish to choose a corpse over a living woman who had guarded my heart and soul with her own so long."

She fought back tears, but they were not of pain or shame. They were of rage. "You are a hard man, Inuyasha. Your heart is cruel."

"No, Kikyo. My heart is clear as is my conscience." He once again looked away. "And if I were cruel and hard, truly cruel and hard, I would have exposed your infidelity to the village and your sister. I would have left you to your disgrace and gone after Kagome."

"So instead you make yourself a martyr to her as she did to you? How sickeningly romantic." She said hatefully.

He jumped down from the branch and stalked to her. His eyes were on fire with rage. He gripped her arm and threw her against the tree, pinning her there. "I'm not a martyr, Kikyo. I'm a man who built his own prison and punishment for the crimes I've committed against the only woman I've really loved. You're my deserved torture. You're my cell and my warden." He kissed her hard to the point of bruising, biting her lower lip until she bled. She yelped and he laughed, releasing her. He spat her blood on the ground, looking at her prone but enraged form folding onto the earth. "Damage me, Kikyo. Thrust your dagger deeper into me. Poison my soul. Watch me die and revel in what you've done and take joy that I'll be your faithful abused dog until my last breath. That's what you've wanted from the beginning. Just don't make the mistake that I am ignorant to what I have made myself into. You at least owe me that after you've taken so much."

He walked off into the forest away from her. Slowly she gathered her senses and stood. She touched her lip and looked at her blood, then shuddered. Her heart ached and her mind raged with hatred. "I owe you nothing, Inuyasha. But given the chance, I will take what you love and make you ache even more for the lack of her... Someday I will find a way to end her and your agony will bring me the joy you have denied me." She smiled faintly with hatred burning in her eyes. _Isn't that what martyrs do? They die in agony for the ones they love... _

------

She sat across from him in the courtyard at a table that had been set for the two of them. She was dressed in a new fine kimono made of pale lavender silk. She had pulled back her hair in a lose braid and wore new silken shoes that had been made especially for her. He watched her as she ate in relative silence. He could still see the fatigue in her form from regenerating his arm and he regretted asking she be woken. However, she needed to eat and afterward he would shoo her off to bed again to recover.

"Kagome."

"Yes, Sesshomaru?" She murmured and looked up to meet his eyes.

"You know that you are home while you are here, don't you?"

She nodded and smiled to him. "Yes, I know."

"I know how important your family was to you in your time and how important your friends had become in this time. Being away from them is no doubt difficult for you... What I would like to offer you is more than a home, Kagome. The mark I placed on your brow is more than just one, which allows me to detect you and have a sense of your well being. It is also a mark that is given to... Family of the Lord of the Western lands. To his children, his siblings, even to his mate. Rin possesses one as well, which is visible only during the full moon. Though I do not think of you as my daughter or my sister... You are my friend and I hope on some level you feel the same. Perhaps one day you could even see me as family."

She trembled as he spoke. Tears began to slip down her face in crystal rivers. "You... You didn't tell me before..."

He frowned and moved to her side, gently caressing her cheek. It was a strange action and done before he had a moment to think. She leaned into his touch, which gave him even greater pause. "You aren't alone, Kagome."

She shuddered and crawled into his lap, curling into his embrace. "I know." She breathed and began to cry. She clung to him tightly and he held her close. He breathed in her scent, kissing the crown of her head softly.

"I won't let you go." He whispered, causing her to press even closer to him. _I love you..._ He thought, though never voiced the words. She cried well into the night until she was so exhausted she could no longer remain conscious. He picked her up carefully and took her to her room. He called for a servant to ready her for sleep, and then left her room. He returned to the courtyard and looked up into the sky. A sigh slipped past his lips. The thought had shaken him slightly even though it wasn't new. _I, Sesshomaru, Lord of the Western lands, love this fragile mortal miko who sleeps in my castle and cries upon my chest, mourning her loss. I, who find so much disgust in her race, who cannot endure the thought of a hanyo child... Loves this human girl... This human woman. I would be blessed if she could find her way to love me in return..._

------

She had challenged him. This time had been different than the last times. Those times had been in battle. They had been acts of desperation and love for his bastard brother. They had caught his eye, but only in so much as he acknowledged her presence and the strength it seemed to give Inuyasha. This time she had openly challenged him outside of battle and ascerted her own importance and strength. She had placed herself above him in her importance, in fact. She had made herself… Necessary. _A human girl, necessary for this Sesshomaru. Rediculous._ But was it so ridiculous? It had been days now and still she was on the edge of every thought that slipped through his mind.

He focused his gaze and realized that it was nearing evening. Rin lay with her head in his lap, sleeping after a large evening meal. He ran his hand through her hair and smiled to himself. _She is my daughter, and she is not necessary._ Even then he knew he was lying to himself. He did that much of the time. He had to. The truth made him weak in the face of battle. It meant that he had something to lose. He stood and cradled the sleeping girl in his arm. Soon she would be too big to carry in such a manner and it pained him slightly. He settled her into her bed and then called for her nursemaid to come and finish readying her for bed, then retired to his personal courtyard. He stood and looked at the moonless sky. He had known for a long while that his brother became a human during the nights of the new moon. When they had made their pact, the weaknesses of the group were exposed to him, much to Inuyasha's chagrin.

A wicked smile crept across his lips. He was airborne before he could give it a second thought and by the time that the hidden moon had crept halfway into the sky, he found himself a distance away from the camp, simply watching. The miko was asleep, buried deep in her sleeping blankets, though her face was still visible. In the moonless night, her hair was the color of the deep blue sky. Its lack of light made it seem black, just as the night sky seemed black, but with the sun's light or the moon's glow, that black would lighten to the pure, clear blue of day. Even her eyes were made of that color blue, yet they were lit from within by the purity of her soul and so they lived somewhere between day and night, in twilight and dusk.

He scowled and looked away from her to the stars. He was perched in a tall tree and so had a good view of their camp and the sky. He wondered vaguely if his father was peering through one of the pinpricks of light down at him, laughing at his folly. When had he noticed her hair or eyes? When had he even begun to care?

"You watch her the way I watch Inuyasha."

Sesshomaru frowned and looked down at the undead miko. He felt almost goaded into an answer. "You are mistaken."

She looked up and met his eyes unflinchingly. "Am I? Let me elaborate, then. You see something in her that your existence longs for, whether you acknowledge it or not."

"What could you possibly see in my bastard brother that you long for?"

"Ahhh, ever the tactician. Changing the subject as if it might divert me." When he didn't respond, she sighed. "He is alive and full of passion and devotion. I want to be who he is passionate about and devoted to. I want to be alive… So tell me, Lord Sesshomaru. What do you see in Kagome?"

"She is an ally. Nothing more or less."

Kikyo almost laughed. "Continue such lines of thought and you might lose a chance at capturing her."

"She is Inuyasha's."

"No." Kikyo said coldly and met Sesshomaru's gaze with an ice that rivaled his own. "He is mine. She belongs to no one. He gave up the right to claim another when he gave me his word to follow me to hell."

He considered her words a moment and studied her. "Why do you care if I attempt to claim the miko?"

"Because perhaps I wish for her to be happy."

"Perhaps it is something else. Something having to do with Inuyasha."

"You are a sly dog, Lord Sesshomaru. You are correct, though. If someone like you or Kouga capture her heart away from Inuyasha, he will not fight following me into hell. As it is, he feels lingering devotion to her and their friendship. In the same way Naraku cannot kill her or I because of Onigumo's love for me, Inuyasha cannot leave either she or me. In their views, Kagome and Kikyo are and always will be one person and so Inuyasha feels he must also honor the wishes of Kagome because she is also the woman he loves and is bound to."

"Who is Onigumo to Naraku?"

"He is the mortal human man Naraku was before he made his pact with the demons. There is a cave near my sister's village where his remains still are mingled. I once gave an arrow to Kagome dipped in the earth there and it served to nearly kill Naraku. It is his one physical weakness. It can neutralize his power, if only for a few moments."

"I see." He again met Kikyo's eyes and nodded. "You have been most helpful."

"Think on what I said, Sesshomaru. I think she would be good for you."

"I think, perhaps, woman, that anyone who would free you of your worry that Inuyasha might turn from you might lead you to such lines of thinking. I doubt a mortal woman, no matter who or how powerful, would be good for this Sesshomaru."

She smiled darkly and looked toward the encampment. "Then why are you here?" 

He did not answer at first. She didn't need to know and telling her would only fuel her suspicions about how he… Felt about the miko. "It is none of your business."

"Did you lay awake tonight wondering about her and so had to come to camp to check on her? Or was it simply that you worried about Inuyasha?"

He scowled. Anything but having her decide something like that. "She challenged this Sesshomaru. She made herself important. It has made me… Curious." His eyes fell on her sleeping form again. "She looks like any other human girl. Weak. But I know she is not. She is anything but weak."

"She is my incarnation."

"She is herself. That is abundantly clear."

"I get the sense you dislike me, Lord Sesshomaru."

"You are dead, miko. You are the undead. You should not be in this world. The fragment of soul in your body which belongs to Kagome should be part of her and not sustaining you. It is unnatural."

"A demon speaks to me about what is natural."

"Demons are a part of the world. We have been here since when humans were only just beginning to crawl onto this land and make it a home. For many millennia, we have endured. We will continue to be here long after the world takes back humanity. We live in harmony with the world, unlike humanity. Tell me again how unnatural we are, miko." He smiled at her maliciously and almost felt a thrill of delight when she shuddered and looked away. "Leave me. I would hate to send you to hell now alone. Especially when you are another soldier in the battle with Naraku."

Once she had gone, he found himself again transfixed with the young miko who was now curled tightly with the kitsune who had been sleeping near her. She cradled him against her form and gently petted his hair. Perhaps he'd woken from a nightmare. His eyes drifted to a tent nearby. There was no light in it, but he knew very well that was where his brother was hiding. Hiding his humanity from the world that could use it against him. _Coward._ His eyes drifted back to the girl and remained there until slightly before dawn when he left in the direction of the miko Kikyo's village to seek out this cave of Onigumo.

It took him some searching, but in time he found the distinct scent of Naraku, fully human within a little cave a short walk from Kikyo's village.He pulled a pouch from his belt and collected some of the earth, then hid it within the folds of his robes. As he exited the cave, he saw the wind demoness, Kagura, watching him intently.

"Why are you here?" She asked softly. She had always loved the demon lord. She felt a pull to him that was difficult to explain or understand.

"That is none of your concern." He replied and began to walk away from her.

"Sesshomaru, I wish to ask a favor of you."

He paused. The woman both intrigued him and repulsed him. She was born of Naraku and so stank of him. Somewhere in her lived the thread of the half demon who was the bane of his existence second only to Inuyasha. "Speak."

"When the final battle comes, I would ask that you help me to free myself. If it were not for the fact that Naraku holds the hearts of myself and my sister, we would not be fighting by his side. Neither would any of his other minions. None of us wish to serve the hanyo."

"You fear for your lives, so you do not openly defy him. Instead you come to this Sesshomaru for help when you know very well I will not give it."

"But why? You would have more allies… Devoted servants… Or more if you would accept me." Her voice was hopeful. She could not help but hope. He was the single light in her life.

He met her gaze with ice, but no cruelty. "If you were not born of Naraku, I would consider your request. The brother of the demon slayer, Kohaku, is visibly controlled by Naraku. His will is gone, and yet he still struggles against him. He tried to make me kill him. He does not want to be a puppet. Though you beg. Though you attempt diverting his plans, you do not so openly defy his will. Perhaps you did once and he nearly killed you. Now you are more passive. You do not question his authority. Part of you will always be Naraku's spawn, for until he birthed you, the wind demoness Kagura did not exist. You are a construct. Even if I were to help you retrieve your heart, it would not be enough. For when Naraku dies, you will follow him into death. It is his life force which grants you life."

She trembled and gasped as if he had physically harmed her. "You are lying… It is true I did not exist before Naraku birthed me, but I am my own! I am my own self!"

"You cannot scent what I do upon you, Kagura. You smell of Naraku, not because you have recently been near him, but because there is a strand of his life force willing you life. With your heart, he controls you. But, if he did not have some design or desire for you to be so willful, you would not exist at all. He would end you."

"You are saying that he wants me to defy him? Hate him? Turn against him?"

"I think he has made you as you are so that you can position his enemies exactly where he needs them to be while having it seem that it is in defiance to him." He met her pained and shattering gaze with the faintest warmth. He hated himself for his sympathy, but some part of him understood what it was to be manipulated. His father, afterall, had set in motion the greatest manipulation with his choice of who would inherit his swords. "You are the wind, Kagura. The wind seems to move as if by its own will, but in truth, it has no will. The wind is manipulated by the spin of the earth and the pulls of the spheres. Without that influence, the wind is nothing more than stilled air. And so, without Naraku, you are nothing. You have no life or will of your own. Only the illusion he has granted you upon your birth."

"I cannot accept this. I will not accept this!" She began to panic not because of the words he said, but because of their truth that they revealed within her.

"He will not allow you to accept what I say, Kagura. But it is the truth. He needs you to be this. Naraku is the ultimate puppeteer and you are only another of his mariognettes. A beautiful one, truly, but still nothing more than a toy in his ultimate design. Do not approach me again, woman. I have little patience for such talk."

As he turned again, he knew she would not follow. Yet he paused again when her words came again, invading his ears. "What will you do… When Naraku is defeated? If you are able to defeat him? Will you fulfill your promise to kill Inuyasha?"

He looked to the ground, but did not turn back to look at the demoness behind him. "What happens between Inuyasha and I in the end is none of your concern. This truce is only an interlude. One way or another, once it is concluded, I will be victor and he will find himself void of the only things his heart has ever longed for. In that, perhaps he will defeat himself and I will finally have some satisfaction in his collapse."

He did not wait for a reply from her. He took to the air and flew in the direction of his castle. Rin would be awake and at breakfast by now, wondering where he was. They always ate together while they were home. Most of their time was spent together and he found himself often longing for that small part of family life he was allowed. _Now there only need be a mate and mother for my daughter. Once Naraku is defeated, I will attend to that need._ His own thoughts amused him. For the greater part of his life, he'd avoided such lines of thinking, however Rin had made him reconsider. He was her father by every right but blood and, when he took a mate and their heir was born, he could make her his daughter also by the rights of the demon court. That day would bring her complete protection and so he found himself already considering possible mates for himself. He always came to face the fact that the list of demonesses he could mate would all deny Rin what she deserved in a mother. Namely, love. _Who would have thought such a decision and search would be so difficult?_ A few years before, it would have been simple. Now, however, his decision was weighted by his love for the little girl who had such a great love for simple things like flowers, his company and braiding said flowers into his hair while singing to him and telling him stories.

He walked down the hall to the dining room and entered. Rin looked up from her food, a firm pout having captured her lower lip. It soon faded upon seeing him. "Daddy!" She jumped up and raced to him just as he had closed the door. She jumped up and he caught her with his arm and hugged her tightly.

"You should be more careful with that word in the house, Rin." He said softly as he breathed in her scent.

She nodded and smiled at him, kissing his cheek. "I'm sorry. Only that I had been waiting for you. Where were you?"

"Only sleeping in, Rin." He lied. He lied because he did not want to upset her. She often became upset when he left her alone in the castle and even more upset when he left her without a word of his departure. The fact was, had he stopped to tell her, he never would have left. He would have had time to consider exactly what he was doing and where he was going. Had he not gone, he would not have the precious pouch of earth now hidden in his clothing that would aid in the destruction of Naraku.

She slipped out of his embrace after another firm hug, then pulled him to the table for breakfast. "When are we going out again?"

"Soon, Rin. I have a little more business here to deal with before we can return to our travels."

"Maybe we will see Kagome again."

He looked up from his meal sharply. It was something that did not escape his daughter, he was certain. "Why are you so excited to see her?"

Rin smiled playfully. "She's nice and she is funny and always finds the best flowers. Aren't you excited to see her, Lord Sesshomaru? I know you don't like Inuyasha, but Kagome isn't awful or anything. She's really pretty."

_Why is it she always… Is here, plaguing me? _ He thought ruefully. _No… She isn't plaguing me. She is just… Too close at the moment. I will need to remedy that in time._ "She is acceptable. Though you know I do not have the same care for flowers you do."

"Maybe she and I could braid them into your hair together…"

He scowled, noting the mischief in her eyes. "What are you plotting, Rin?"

She shrugged and continued eating her breakfast.

"You should not tease your father, Rin." He said, softly. "What are your thoughts?"

"Only that I like her a lot and she likes me and you always like people who like me so maybe you and she could be friends."

"You think so?" He asked without emotion.

She nodded and smiled again with playfulness that was inherent to her nature. "But you might need to be nicer to Inuyasha. I know you don't like him, but she likes him a lot and I don't think she'd like it if you were mean to him."

"I am not mean."

She laughed and took a bite of food so she would not have to respond to his words.

"You think I am mean?"

She shook her head, seeing the playfulness she loved in Sesshomaru beginning to slip into view. She took another bite of food. A large one.

"You taunt me and will not speak. Perhaps Rin wishes that I will not let her have sweets after dinner."

She squeaked in protest and chewed quickly so she could answer him. "You aren't mean! Except to Inuyasha…"

"I see." He looked away as a smile tugged at his lips.

"Daddy!" She whined and crawled over to his lap, trying to make him look at her. "I'm sorry!"

"You only want sweets. I will not take faulse apologies."

She pouted fully and crossed her arms where she sat on his lap. He sighed and finally let himself laugh. "Alright, you may have your sweets. Even if you think I am mean."

"But you are to Inuyasha! I know he's an annoying brother, but he isn't all that bad…"

He sighed and frowned softly. "You shouldn't try to decide such things. You do not know everything."

"I know he's nice to Kagome and Kagome likes him."

"Kagome is not the deciding factor on who is worthy and who is not." He said, softly scolding her.

"Then what is?"

"Loyalty." He said, simply and met her gaze. "Kagome is worthy because she is very loyal. So are you for the same reason. Inuyasha is not worthy because his loyalty is tainted. He does not choose because of his heart's truth. He chooses because of guilt."

"And he is a hanyo."

Sesshomaru sighed and nodded faintly. "But that is not his fault. That is our father's fault."

"Is that why you don't want to be friends with Kagome?" She asked, innocently.

He closed his eyes and smiled faintly. The sad fact was that the few women who might be suitable mates for the sake of Rin were unsuitable in the eyes of the demon court. None could be strong enough to force the court to respect them and not be his weakness. If he loved a mortal woman, he couldn't allow himself to put her into that kind of danger, nor their children. Inuyasha was hanyo and that made him unworthy in the eyes of the demon court whether he agreed with the court's view or not. _Kagome is a miko… She is not weak._ He pushed away the thought as soon as it slipped into his mind. No. He would not consider such things. Whether or not she would make a good mother to Rin, too much had passed between them and even more of a much more damning nature between her and his brother. Even if he did consider her somewhat acceptable, he didn't love her. He refused to mate lovelessly as his father and mother had. He refused to be bonded to someone eternally if his heart was not invested in their existence. "I would not mind being friends with Kagome if that was all we were. One must be more than a friend with someone to produce a hanyo, Rin. That you will learn more of when you grow up."

She wrinkled her nose at him and sighed faintly. "You say that about a lot of things."

"It is true of a lot of things." He replied and gently poked the end of her nose. "Finish your breakfast and go and play in your garden. I will join you for lunch and then we can spend some time together."

"Promise?" Her eyes sparkled.

"I would not say something I did not mean."

She glowed and his heart warmed that such a small act of being with her while she played could delight her so greatly. He loved her as dearly as if she were his own daughter. He wanted a mate who would love her as dearly and who he could love completely forever. As she returned to her place and finished her meal, he sighed inwardly. It seemed a simple request. A simple wish. To love and be happy. But at the moment there was no one who could fit that place. _That is not entirely true._ He silenced the thought again. Kagome was his brother's. Kagome was a human. Kagome was barely even an ally. Kagome… Was not meant for him. It was the simple, painful fact and he could easily accept it.

Years later he stood in his courtyard, looking up at the same sky and a smile touched his lips. A genuine, pure smile born from a warm and overwhelming kind of happiness. She was her own now and, if he was given the chance and choice, he would not hesitate. She was all he had ever asked the powers to give him and, for the first time in his long life, he was being granted his heart's wish.


	4. Love And The Absence

_**Rewritten for your reading pleasure.**_

_**I do not own Inuyasha. It makes me sad, but it's the truth.**_

_**Ivy**_

**Chapter three;**

**Love and the absence**

There was a stream that cut through the gardens of Sesshomaru's castle. Knowing his adoptive daughter's love for wild flowers, he'd ordered his servants to go and collect seeds of the most beautiful they could find every fall and plant them in the tall grass of the garden in the spring. The field near the stream was Rin's playground. Closer to the castle were manicured gardens and courtyards, but here near the far Northern walls of the citadel was a haven specifically created for the gentle aesthetic of his beloved little girl. Since Kagome had come to call his home her haven, he had also mandated that there should be a small temple built on the other side of the stream where the castle walls jutted from the great mountain his family home had been constructed near. The castle itself was built upon a plateau that backed against a mountain midway up its height. The river that cut through the garden came from the mountaintop and was filled by snowmelt year round. Only one road led up the face of the plateau to his home and only one huge gate granted access from the ground. The whole of the castle was protected by a mystical barrier put in place upon its construction, which shielded it from everyone except its inhabitants. So well hidden and defended was his home that it was as difficult to find as Naraku's sanctuary had been. Even if his enemies had discovered his home, the Lord was certain that his defenses would protect his ancestral inheritance and the two most precious to his heart that resided within its walls.

He walked with Kagome toward the beautiful field of flowers where Rin had gone to play that morning. He heard the miko's breath catch in her throat as she saw the temple across the stream that had been so carefully and lovingly constructed for her over the months she had been away. "It was made for you. It is your sanctuary, Kagome. Here you may train, meditate and be near Rin, though she has been made aware that she is to leave you alone when ever you close the door to the temple."

"You had this made for me?" Her voice was soft and breathless as she made her way across the stone path in the stream and up the stairs of the small temple. She touched the red paper lanterns with delicate fingertips and an awed smile touched her lips.

"Yes, Lady." He replied reverently as he watched her explore the building. The wood had been carved by master craftsmen, inlaid with gold and silver and silks adorned the walls. At the back was a statue of Buddha and a table for incense and prayer.

She turned to him with sparkling eyes. Her smile poured sunlight on him and he found himself caught in her gaze. "You've given me so much... How could I ever repay you?"

He smiled and moved to her, embracing her gently. She rested against him and trembled. "You repay me by making this your home and accepting Rin and me as family. You repay me by being my friend and healing me when I never have asked you to. You repay me with even this show of tenderness and gratitude. Do not try to find ways to repay me further."

His memory slipped back to the day she had left his castle a full month after he had placed his mark on her brow. The night was black from the hidden moon. Since she had left, the castle had been more quiet than he would have anticipated. Even Rin's companionship had seemed lonely, when once it had been all he needed. He'd fallen in love with the little miko who had given up her whole world for a man who couldn't even see her worth. He wondered, idly, if she'd ever see his and what he could offer her. He walked slowly along the soft earth of the hill where she sat. She was North of his home and, as he approached her, he could smell blood. Her blood. His eyes widened and he quickened his step.

"I'm alright, Sesshomaru. It is only a scratch." Came her soft voice.

He frowned deeply and knelt beside her, looking for the cause of the blood. Along her perfect face was a gash, most likely from a sword or daggar. He caressed her cheek gently. "Who did this to you?"

She blinked back tears and leaned into his touch. The deep blue star on her brow was almost black in the moonless night, as were her eyes. "A soldier. He was too quick."

"Where?"

"Why tell you? So you can add one more corpse to the carnage I could not prevent?"

"Kagome, he hurt you." He said sternly as he continued to look her over. "You are a miko. You are peaceful and, moreso, you are under my protection."

"Don't. Please." She whispered. Her eyes began to glisten. Tears fell down her cheeks, making her wince as they touched the gash, marring her beauty. "I've seen nothing but death today. I couldn't save but a handful and I'm so tired… So very tired… I couldn't even heal myself."

He winced and drew her into his embrace. The blood from her cheek stained the silk of his clothing, but he didn't care. She would say no more of what had happened. How close had she come to death? What if he had come tonight to find her barely clinging to life? No. If she had been that close to death, he would have sensed it. He would have known. Still, the fear was deeply set in his heart. Dead or worse. Human soldiers were not the most honorable creatures during times of war. "Come back with me. Please, Kagome."

She shook her head. She couldn't speak for fear that her voice would break with tears. She only clung to him and took comfort from his presence. He ran his hand through her hair and she trembled, relaxing against him.

Her sobs sent a pang through him and his heart sank when she shook her head to negate his request. "You might be killed."

"Then I would die doing what is right for me to do." She replied in a tearful voice. He held her tighter and she allowed herself to take strength from his presence and warmth. "But I have no intention of dying, Sesshomaru." She murmured and gently gripped the silk of his empty sleeve. She frowned softly and sat up slowly. "May I… May I look at something?"

He tensed when she had gripped his empty sleeve. "It is a mantle to foolishness, Kagome."

"I… Please, just let me look."

He sighed and realized with surprise that he could not say no to her. "You may."

She pushed back the sleeve and saw the stump where his arm had once been. The flesh had healed well and was now smooth. Though, when she focused on the flesh, she could sense it knitting and regenerating. "It.. It's growing back."

He nodded and watched her with interest. "In a few centuries, my arm will return to me."

"I think that… If I try I can speed up the regeneration."

He frowned a bit deeper. "Wouldn't that spend your energy that you could be using to heal yourself or protecting yourself?"

She smiled faintly and met his eyes. "Yes, but only for a night. If you stayed to guard me, I could help you regenerate your arm slowly and you would not have to worry yourself."

"I will always worry for you until I am certain you are safe." He said honestly. "Why do you wish to help me regenerate my arm?"

"Because I feel I owe you my life. I want to give you this even though you don't really need me to help in order for it to regrow… I could speed the process and maybe save you excess pain."

"Pain would be feeling you dying far from my ability to reach you in time to save you." He murmured and noticed the brief flash of disbelief and warmth in her gaze. He reached out and ran his hand through her hair. "Kagome, please come back with me. Where I can protect you. Where you will be safe. Or at least allow me to travel with you."

"For what I need to do, I am more effective on my own." Again she leaned into his hand and he gently gripped her hair at the nape of her neck, but not painfully so. "You are my friend and my protector. I know you wish to take care of me. But I need to do this for myself. For my own view of my worth. When I have done what is in me to do, I will come back to your home. But in the meanwhile, let me help regenerate your arm. Please."

He sighed and pulled her back into his embrace. He had to convince her to return. Then his mind slipped onto an alternative. "I will let you regenerate my arm as much as you are able and still be safe the next day if you promise to return to my home once you have finished and stay there for a full month. If, when that month has elapsed, you still feel the need to return to what you feel are your duties to humanity, I will let you go without a further word on the matter, though I will continue visiting you as I am now. Does that sound like an amiable agreement?"

She sighed and smiled and held even tighter to his torso, resting her head over his heart. She listened to its strong, steady beats and wondered, faintly, in the back of her mind, what it would feel like to have her heart beat in time with his. The thought faded as soon as it came to her. She was human. He could never want her in that way. He could never love her. He was her friend. As dear and true and constant as she'd ever desired. "It is and I agree to it. You really are very adept at getting what you want, aren't you?"

He chuckled and breathed her in. "You have no idea." _Though I am certain one day you will… And maybe on that day you will be able to love me in return. My mate. My Kagome._

Months had passed and she had returned before she had needed to, before the time they had set for their deal to be valid. He could not fathom why she had chosen to return, however he hoped that it had something to do with wishing to be near him again and not simple weariness. At the same time, he could not allow himself to hope very long. To have those hope dashed might break him.

She looked up to him and glowed as tears slipped down her face. When he caressed her cheek, she leaned into his touch, causing him to tremble. She smiled faintly. "I've never felt you tremble before, Sesshomaru, Lord of the Western lands."

He smirked and slipped his fingers into her hair. He ran his fingers and claws lightly along the nape of her neck. She shuddered and the faintest cry escaped past her lips. A slow blush kissed her cheeks and her gaze took on a dreamy, tender expression that sent a jolt through him. She was so beautiful it made him ache, so strong she made him weak, so pure he was afraid to touch her, so fragile he was terrified of breaking her. "Perhaps you have found a way to touch my soul."

Her blush deepened as she held his gaze with hers. She studied him and shuddered softly. "You love me..." She whispered, waiting for his response.

He did not look away. He did not want to show her how her words had shocked him through to his core. Had he been so transparent that she could see... _Poor foolish Sesshomaru. Of course you have. You've all but rolled your belly in the air for her in submission._ He almost scowled at his thoughts but retained his composure. "Yes, Lady."

Her eyes closed slowly and new tears fell down her face. She let herself lean against his chest, holding to him gently for a long while. Finally, she took his right arm and caressed the unfinished wrist where his hand would soon be. She drew him to the cushions and sat. She felt another shudder pass through him as she continued to caress the stump where his hand would be. She could sense his nerves electric under the skin. She closed her eyes and began to work. The warm energy coursed from her into his flesh, slowly accelerating his own regenerative abilities. The sensation was more intense this time. The tingle of her aura sent pleasure through him as each pressure point in his hand was reestablished and formed completely. Finally his claws grew to their normal length and she collapsed against his chest, exhausted. He held her close to him with both of his hands now, rocking her softly. She had not responded except to restore him. There was no mention of loving him in return, only the action. He smiled and tilted her head up so that she was looking at him with a languid, tender gaze. He leaned softly to her and brushed his lips against hers, waiting and silently hoping for a response.

A soft moan met his ears as she weakly leaned into his touch and returned his kiss. He pulled her tighter to him as he deepened their kiss, allowing his love and passion to pass through their connection. She sighed and shuddered and returned his love with her own and a kind of worship he'd never sensed from her before. He broke the kiss just long enough to guage where her mind was. Her eyes sparkled with love and passion for him. Her delicate, tender fingertips reached up, caressing his lips fervently. "My Lord..." She breathed, a look of wonder overtaking her. "Do you want me as your mate?"

He smiled down at her and brushed back some of her ebony strands from her brow. "Yes, Lady." He murmured, capturing her lips again in a passionate kiss. She returned the kiss again with a similar passion and desire. "Do you wish to be my mate, Lady?" He whispered. His lips brushed against hers as he spoke.

"Yes, my Lord..." She breathed and clung to him with what little strength remained in her slender form. He pulled her to him tightly and thanked Kami that he had closed the door to the temple. He gently tilted her head back, supporting her neck with the crook of his arm. He caressed her tender exposed throat and leaned in to take a deep breath of her heady scent. He licked lightly along her jaw, growling softly. He felt her relax and submit partially to him. He smiled and took her throat in his teeth, biting down just enough to bruise. A sharp but musical cry escaped her and she arched lightly to him for an instant before submitting completely. As she did, he released his energies through their contact, setting her nerves and skin on fire as he claimed her entirely. The tiny blue star on her brow appeared, glowing brightly as a crescent moon identical to his formed around it. Another cry slipped past her now ruby lips and her eyes fluttered closed. The slightest change occurred throughout her body. Whatever claim death might have had on her faded away. Her life energies became tied to her mate's and her destiny and fate became unalterably entwined with his. She would live so long as he lived and die when he died, never aging past the moment that he had claimed her.

He released her slowly and began kissing along her throat where he had held her. He heard her panting softly and now and then a soft moan would escape as he laid one of his kisses on her tender skin. He made his way to her lips and captured her again in a deep, passionate kiss. She was still so weak from healing him that she could do little but react to his lovemaking. He laid her down gently on the cushions they sat upon and continued their kiss as he slowly began to undress her. He could feel her life energies flowing into him and through him as his did through her. His mother and father must have felt this intense pairing, certainly. Part of him idly wondered why Inuyasha's mother had ever been made consort to their father when he had such a close union already forged. _They hadn't loved each other. You and this human girl love each other and so it will always be like this. It will always be pure bliss and joy with her until the day you die. Your father wanted love and he found that with Inuyasha's mother. His human mother. It was why your mother hated his mother so much. Why she tried to teach you to hate humanity. How close she had come... Close, but not close enough or else this angel wouldn't be in your arms right now._ He was brought out of his trance when his hands met her soft, supple skin as he pushed away her kimono. He smiled, breaking the kiss long enough to capture her gaze. Aching sighs reached his ears and her eyes spoke volumes of love and desire to him.

He disrobed and resettled against her. Their skin set on fire as they touched. He was ready and the realization of that fact in Kagome set her in a deep shade of crimson. He could scent her anticipation and need as he caressed open her legs, guiding them along side his hips. He gazed into her eyes lovingly, then captured her throat again as he swiftly broke into her maidenhead, issuing a cry of pain and submission from her. He rested a moment, and then began a slow but enflamed rhythm only releasing his grip on her throat when the first sighs of pleasure escaped her. He kissed her deeply and trembled as she gently gripped his shoulders and her body fell in rhythm with him. He gazed into her eyes, marveling at her beauty and warmth. His instincts demanded he sire a pup in her immediately. The desire was overwhelming and, judging by her scent, she was just on the cusp of her peak fertility. If he did not impregnate her now, he had the next few days to do so and certainly would. He groaned and shuddered as the music of her cries and moans filled his ears and fueled him on. He sensed her on the brink and swiftly pushed her over. With an almost purring moan, she slackened beneath him and she arched her throat once again to him in submission. He smiled and took her by that same tender flesh, creating a new set of bruises as he continued, holding back his final release until he brought her over again. It took much less time and she cried out in a breathless gasp. He could feel her body writhe and shudder hard beneath him once again and it was then that he allowed himself to fall into bliss as well. He groaned softly and released, clutching her to his chest.

She whimpered, spent in his embrace and he took in her scent deeply. He smiled softly and sat up once he had regained his senses, pulling his mate with him. Her naked, fragile form curled weakly against him. He caressed the whole of her and kissed her brow where his mark had formed. "Mine..." He breathed as he cradled her protectively.

"Yes..." She whispered softly as she traced the markings on his torso and arms. Her hands were shaking from fatigue and afterglow. He kissed her lips softly and with great tenderness.

"I will put you to bed, my love." He breathed and wrapped her in her kimono, then dressed himself. He gathered her into his arms again. He made sure to cover her completely before venturing out into the coolness of the coming night. They had spent the better part of the day in their reverie without food or much rest and Kagome had still been recovering from regenerating his arm on the night of the new moon. It was no wonder that she was slacken and prone in his arms. As he walked through the halls of the castle he felt her gather a lock of his hair in her fingers and twirl it gently, taking in its scent. His scent. Had she been more awake and aware, she might have begged him to fly her to their courtyard. He would have denied her request simply because walking through the halls announced their union and put everyone directly in their place. Kagome was his mate. She was an extension of him and was to be treated as such.

Once in his room he laid her on his bed and removed her coverings only to nestle her beneath the silken bedding. He smiled and watched her fall into an exhausted sleep. He caressed her brow and smoothed her silken hair. After a few moments of simply staring at her in wonder, he stood and ordered dinner be brought to them. Then he returned to her side. He lay on top of the blankets and curled around her slight form. He caressed her body over their coverings and breathed in her scent deeply until the food arrived. Shortly before dinner came, he found the change in scent he'd been waiting for and felt his instinctual lust fade into the back of his mind. He did not want to take her because of his feral desires to sire a pup with her. He only ever wanted to make love to her and cherish every part of her.

When the food was brought in and set at the table, he began the task of rousing her. The servants left quickly, to their credit. Most youkai had a keen sense of smell and so it was easily noted that not only had their Lord mated the miko he had settled in his bed, but also she was carrying his pup. It was not an intelligent thing to test his patience by aggravating his instinctual need to protect his new family. He felt himself relax once they had left and, with more intent, began to wake his mate from her short nap. "Wake, love. You need to eat."

She whimpered and curled into his frame, fighting to remain asleep. He felt the sudden desire to grasp her by the throat again, but retained control. He kissed her brow gently and tried again. "I need you to waken just long enough to eat and then I will let you sleep as long as you need, Kagome. Come, it is important."

The tender concern in his voice was what finally roused her from her slumber. She looked up at him with weak and weary eyes. He smiled and kissed her gently, then wrapped her in a blanket and carried her to the table. He fed her for a few moments until she was awake enough to do so herself from where he held her on his lap. He couldn't fathom leaving her side, let alone her presence, and did not intend to until he was certain that the pup that was just beginning to grow was knitted within her securely. When he was convinced she could eat no more, he took her chopsticks and cradled her closer. She sighed and curled tightly against him, beginning to drift off again. "To bed, Lady?"

"Yes, my love..." She murmured, sleep claiming her once again. He stood and laid her back into the bed. He covered her and caressed her brow gently, then kissed her chastely as she slept. He managed to tear himself away from her after a few moments, and then returned to the table to finish his meal. When he was satiated he disrobed and joined his mate in bed. He pulled her against his form and curled around her gently. One hand rested beneath the covers over her belly while the other cradled her form against his chest. He breathed her in again and noted that the faint scent of her pregnancy was deepening in agonizingly small increments. _Mine... You are mine and I will kill anyone who dares raise a hand to you, sweet Kagome... Mother of my children. My sweet mate... No harm will ever come to you._

------

She was old and her joints ached every time she moved. Still she busied herself in the herb garden and around her hut preparing medicines for the villagers and remedies for anyone who came through needing her help. She had lived a long and happy life. Soon that would be over, she knew. She didn't fear, however, where her spirit would rest. She feared for her sister, though. Kikyo had been a beautiful woman when she first lived. Though she had never wanted her position as miko and protector of the Shikon no Tama, she had borne her duties with grace if not also with some sorrow and regret. Now, having been given a new soul so that she could live out her life as she wished, Kaede could see the violent and hateful behavior along with the selfish nature that had been inherent in Kikyo as the undead clay miko surfacing again. It frightened her because the old woman was not certain what her sister might do. She had noticed a look of hatred in her eyes. Just flashes as she looked on her husband, Inuyasha. Had she not known what would transpire once Kagome had left his side, giving up her place to Kikyo? Inuyasha realized too late that there was only one who could fit in that place in his heart and if it ever had been Kikyo, it certainly was not now.

She had finished filling her basket with herbs when she saw the youkai messenger riding toward the village. He stopped upon seeing her walking to the road. "Miko, I bring a message for Inuyasha from the Lord Sesshomaru of the Western lands. Have you any idea where he might be?"

"Not at this hour, though I am acquainted with him and could deliver the message to him."

The youkai thought on this a moment and then nodded. He handed the sealed letter to Kaede and bowed from his horse, then rode off in the direction of the mountains. No doubt to Miroku and Sango's home. She put the letter in her basket and walked back to the village slowly. She knew what was in the message without opening it. The way that Sesshomaru had looked upon Kagome in the last year of the conflict with Naraku had spoken volumes on how he felt for the little miko unstuck in time. She doubted many others had seen the change in him but her. After all, she had been the only one tending Kagome that day when she was healing from one of the battles against Naraku's minions. She had also been the only one around when Sesshomaru had brought Kagome to her after that battle, having rushed her to Kaede after she'd fallen. Then he had left without a word and Kaede had been left wondering what had happened.

She had been poisoned by one of Naraku's insects. Her anti-venom that she'd brought from her time would have healed her if the stinger hadn't remained embedded in her side. Though the venom had been neutralized, the wound had become infected and for a short time, Kaede worried that the girl would not survive. Sango and Miroku had gone off in search of herbs for Kaede that would lower Kagome's fever. Inuyasha had gone off hunting for Naraku with Kikyo and when his brother had entered the hut, Shippo was sleeping by the fire while Kaede watched over the girl she'd come to think of as a grand daughter.

He'd nodded and sat near the girl, watching her with his icy gaze. "He wasn't protecting her."

"He was. It is hard to protect one, though when your attention is as divided as your heart." She replied, watching the inuyoukai Lord's gaze.

He pulled a pouch from his belt and handed it to Kaede without even looking to her. The old woman took it. "A rare herb that only grows near my home. When I saw her fall I feared this would be the outcome. It will break her fever far easier than anything you might have here."

"I did not know ye cared, Lord Sesshomaru."

He seemed to soften as he looked at Kagome's pale, weakened countenance. It almost seemed for a fleeting instance that if he had been alone he might have smoothed her glistening brow with his cool hand. It was then Kaede realized he loved Kagome and would do anything it took to ensure she survived the final battle with Naraku. When he spoke, his words only enforced that belief in her. "She is... Remarkable. Take care she heals, old woman. I will be watching." He moved to the door but paused at the lintel. "Do not speak of this to anyone. I do not want my actions to be known lest they alert my bastard brother. Do you understand, old woman?"

"Yes, Lord Sesshomaru. Ye are quite clear."

He nodded again and left as suddenly as he came. After the final battle with Naraku, when Sango had relayed to her what had transpired between Sesshomaru and Kagome, then Sesshomaru and Inuyasha after Kagome had retreated into the forest, Kaede was certain that they need have no fear for the time traveling miko.

"She will be fine on her own."

"How can you know that old woman?" Inuyasha had asked crassly. The only thing that had stopped him from following her had been that he could no longer track her scent.

"Kagome is a strong woman and capable of defending herself. Ye cannot tell me that she would be unequipped or in danger when she was able to help defeat Naraku."

"She shouldn't be out there alone, though." Sango had said softly. "She's lost so much, she needs her friends."

"She has a friend, I think." Kaede replied softly. "Your own half brother, Inuyasha. He watches her as ye once did before my sister was resurrected. If she were in danger, ye can be certain he will tend her. "

Inuyasha looked as if he were about to explode. "He can't..." He said through gritted teeth. "He doesn't deserve her."

"That's up for debate, Inuyasha." Miroku said softly, no longer afraid of inciting his friend's true ire. The fact was now they were on the same level. Inuyasha looked at him incredulously. "He saved her life, Inuyasha. He brought her back from the dead and seemed to honestly care about her welfare. He didn't need to assist us in the final battle, but he did. And from his parting words, I think that, aside from the desire to defend his own lands from Naraku, he did what he did to protect and save Kagome."

This gave Inuyasha pause. He sighed and looked defeated. All the while Kikyo was watching him intently with something akin to jealousy in her gaze. "I know, Miroku. I might be hotheaded and a little dense sometimes, but I'm not stupid. I guess I just got caught up in an old habit of wanting to be her protector."

"She gave you someone else to protect. The someone you have been longing to protect since before Kagome freed you from the tree." Miroku said softly and touched his friend's shoulder. "She gave us our lives back, Inuyasha. We owe her to be happy. It's what she wanted."

Kaede had never seen Inuyasha so broken in half than as he accepted Miroku's words and had decided to go on with his life. She found him now leaning against a large tree he seemed particularly fond of in the village. Something had transpired between her sister and him, but she had never thought to ask nor did she want to know. Her advanced years made her ache for peace in her final days and so she had chosen to ignore for what good it did her. In her heart she still felt that her sister should have been left to fade away and find her peace once more. However, it wasn't her decision. Kagome's selfless heart so full of love had made the final choice. She wondered idly whether or not the little miko would regret that decision one day.

"I bear ye a message from your brother, Inuyasha." She said, breaking through his quiet and, from the look on his face, unpleasant thoughts.

"What does he want?" He grumbled and took the sealed letter from Kaede.

"I am not certain, though he sent it by messenger."

He mumbled something about his holier than thou brother and opened the seal. He read slowly, his gaze becoming graver. "I... I don't believe it."

"What is it?" Kaede asked, sitting and resting beside him. He handed it to her and she read slowly.

_To my half-brother, Inuyasha;_

_I am writing to invite you and your mate to my castle for the celebration of my union with the fair miko, Kagome. The celebration will be held in a month. Accommodations will be provided for you for the duration of your stay. Kagome has asked that you bring the miko, Kaede with you. She says that the old woman has expertise that she could benefit from in her current condition and I am loath to deny her anything. Her happiness is all that matters. Feel free to arrive as early or late as you see fit._

_The Lord Sesshomaru of the Western Lands._

She could not help but smile as she finished the letter. It seemed her prayers had been answered and the little miko was happy and, from the hinting of her mate, expecting his heir. She looked to Inuyasha and scowled at his expression. "Be happy for the girl, Inuyasha."

"Why should I?" He sounded bitter and childish.

"Because she sacrificed her life for ye and deserves us all to be happy for her. After what she gave ye to find your own way and realize your dreams with my sister, ye owe her to be happy that she has found love and happiness."

He sighed and looked at his very human hands. "How can I? I love her."

"Then it should make it all the more easy for ye to be happy for her, Inuyasha. Love, when it is true, rejoices even when the happiness felt does not involve its owner." She stood and began walking to her hut. "I will be ready in a few days to leave. Mind ye and Kikyo are as well."

He watched the old woman walk away and shook his head. She hadn't any idea what had happened between Kikyo and him. How could she? He looked back at the invitation and spat. He would pretend to be happy for her. Pretend to love his mate. Pretend because if he didn't it would hurt her. If he didn't pretend, the world would fall apart.


	5. What Makes A Family

_**Rewritten because Inuyasha made me.**_

_**I do not own Inuyasha. The puppy-boy wears someone else's collar and it shocks me when I try to take it off. So not mine. Never mine. –sigh-**_

_**Ivy**_

**Chapter four;**

What makes family 

She woke slowly. He was still wrapped around her and it made her smile. His hand rested protectively over her womb while his other arm cradled her to him, cupping a breast. His face was pressed into her hair and he breathed deeply as he slept. It had been nearly two weeks since he'd made her his forever. Every night since had been pleasure and possession, as she'd never dreamed before. He worshiped her as deeply as she worshiped him. Through the day he kept her near him and off her feet, often taking to carrying her with him throughout the day. The other youkai seemed to accept the action as if it were natural and so she did not question his actions. After four days he had laid her on the grass in the courtyard and began breathing her in.

She laughed and ran her fingers through his hair, as he smelled her in deep intakes of breath. "I smell that good?"

He chuckled and lay, resting his head on her abdomen. "You smell like a mother." He murmured, kissing her belly gently.

Her eyes widened and she caressed his jaw gently. "I'm... I'm pregnant?"

He smiled and moved up to kiss her deeply, drawing her close to him. "Yes. Until you had recovered from regenerating my arm and hand, I was afraid that the child would be lost so I said nothing. Now I am certain that it has knitted within you and will not be lost."

"Strong, like its father then." She murmured, trembling softly, clinging to him.

"Stubborn like its mother." He chuckled and laughed heartily when she pinched him hard on his ear in retaliation. "What? Its the truth."

"I'm not sure I enjoy your mirth when it's directed at me, Sesshou." She said, feigning hurt feelings.

"Oh?" He murmured and kissed her playfully. "Would you prefer that I cease laughing at all?"

"No, never do that. I have fallen in love with your laugh." She whispered, trembling softly.

"Then accept that you will be the subject of its existence." He breathed, maneuvering over her. He ran his fingers through her hair, letting his claws trace along her scalp. She shivered and glowed up at him. "You bring me such joy."

She blushed and caressed his jaw tenderly. "I love you."

He kissed her deeply, pulling her into a tight embrace. "I love you too, my Kagome."

His arms tightened around her as he slept and she smiled remembering. She closed her eyes and focused on the little life within her. It was the faintest ember of life and when she caressed it with love and warmth, it responded to her. Every time she did, it made her smile. Her bond with Sesshomaru had altered her energies forever. She was still a miko, however the purity of her power had been tainted faintly with the darkness of his aura. Had the Shikon no Tama still existed, she would not have been able to purify it. However, had her energies not been so altered, she would have killed her own child when she reached out to it, accidentally purifying its life into nothingness.

Her lover began to wake slowly. She could tell because his breathing was no longer the slow intake and his naked body against hers had gained some tension that came with his waking. He caressed her form gently, nipping her shoulder as he turned her to face him. She smiled, gazing up into his sleepy amber eyes. He smiled and kissed her tenderly. "Good morning, Love."

"Good morning, my Lord." She breathed and held to him gently.

He chuckled and cradled her against him as he sat up. "How is the pup?"

She glowed and kissed his chest over his heart. "Well and growing."

He caressed her form gently and sighed. "I do not enjoy having to govern in the mornings. When I wake I ache to keep you in bed with me."

"I'm never far from your side, Sesshou." She murmured, holding to him gently. "And besides... You said that you do not enjoy having to govern in the evening because you always ache to touch me at the end of the day and despised doing so in the afternoon because you would rather nap with me in the gardens."

"So I did." He laughed softly. "You have me smitten."

"And damned to some unhappiness, it would seem. Though it is pleasing at times to see you pout."

"You know better, Kagome. The Lord of the Western lands does not pout."

She nipped his lower lip, and then captured him in a kiss. "No, but my Sesshou does. And he is such a pup about it."

"Such shaky ground you stand on, pretty mate." He teased and nipped at her throat.

She yelped and laughed as he bruised her slightly with his bite. "You know I'm right."

He didn't respond. His nips had begun to trail down. She trembled as he captured a breast in his mouth, cupping the other fervently. She moaned and shuddered softly. "One... Way... T'win an argument..." She gasped, closing her eyes in pleasure. She only heard him chuckle.

------

She lay by his side with her head in his lap. He was speaking to members of the wolf youkai clan of the East about their infringement in his lands. She listened intently for the time she could keep herself awake. She had only been carrying their pup two weeks and already she was worn and exhausted. It also did not help that her lover had worn her out already this morning and was now combing his clawed fingers through her long black hair in the most relaxing manner. She sighed as she felt the last vestiges of her consciousness slip into the blackness of dreams, drifting off quietly and comfortably.

Once she had fallen into sleep, he looked to the raucous group harshly and they quieted their voices. They had already heard of the beautiful human mate of the Lord of the Western lands and word had already come to most that she was carrying his heir. The most remarkable part of the rumor was that he doted on her and kept her always near his person. They were surprised that the icy Lord Sesshomaru was up keeping that part of the rumor. When they had struck a bargain with him, they left almost silently from his presence. Once they had gone, he collected his mate in his arms, petting her tenderly and watching her sleep. He took in her scent, finding it intoxicating.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" Jaken suddenly cried out as he ran into the reception room where he had been with Kagome all day since after breakfast. "LORD SESSHOMARU!"

He snarled as Kagome startled awake from the shrill and loud call from his retainer. "Quiet yourself, Toad." He said with deadly intent.

Jaken stopped in his tracks and his already bulbous eyes bulged. He stood there transfixed and terrified. The scent of his fear rolled off him.

Kagome trembled softly at the danger in her mate's voice. He frowned and smoothed her hair, kissing the marking on her brow. "There, there, Love. It's all right. Jaken is only going to die in about a few seconds if he doesn't tell me what was so important that he should run into our presence and disturb you from your nap."

Jaken swallowed and quickly got his bearings. He knew better than to annoy his master of late. The girl in his arms had become his main occupation and care. "The wolf tribe, my Lord."

"They just left us, Jaken."

"No, the others... From the North. Kouga and his pack are here and they demand to speak to you and the Lady Kagome. They are demanding an audience and threaten to take it if it is not given."

He growled and lay Kagome down on the cushions next to him. He smoothed her hair and kissed her gently. "You should rest, Love. I will be back once I put the feral mutt in his place."

She gripped his wrist lightly, but enough to keep him from going. "He's worried for me, my Lord... I can manage an audience so long as you do not mind me leaning on your shoulder."

He looked as if he was having to fight back his instincts for a moment, but he reigned in his nature and nodded. He looked to Jaken as he helped Kagome sit up and lean into him. "Bring them in."

Kouga and his two pack members entered the reception room unceremoniously and sat across from the Lord and Lady of the West. His eyes fell instantly on Kagome and the marking on her brow. He scented the air and frowned softly. "The rumors are true, then? He's mated you and sired an heir and keeps you like some sort of prize?"

Sesshomaru's hackles raised, but he paused as Kagome gently took one of his hands in both of hers. She sat up slightly, trembling. She looked ill and weak and it worried him. "Kouga, I chose. He asked me and I chose. The Lord I spoke of who had cared for me was my Lord and mate and he has cared for me ever since the day that Naraku was defeated. He does not treat me as a prize or thing, he has made me his mate and as so newly mated as we are, can you blame either of us for not wanting to be separated from the other?"

Kouga snarled and caught the proud smile of Sesshomaru. He pulled himself back and swallowed his pride. She looked so happy. Ill, but that was because of the pup she carried. Weak, but certainly that was because of the same cause. He wanted her to be happy always. He could let her go if he knew she were truly happy. "Do you love him, Kagome?"

She smiled. Even in her ill, weakened state, her spirit shone through brightly. "Yes, Kouga. Completely and eternally or I never would have accepted him and submitted. You know me well enough that the question was not even necessary."

"Perhaps not... But whether my head needed to hear it, my heart wouldn't be satisfied until it passed through your lips, Kagome. And maybe I can now run interference with Inuyasha." He smirked and thought of how Inuyasha had been so hopelessly jealous of him even though Kagome never returned his feelings for her.

"Inuyasha is mated to Kikyo, Kouga." Sesshomaru noted, frowning at the look that Kouga returned to him.

"Yes. Perhaps I am wrong to presume." He was holding something back, Sesshomaru was certain. He would not force him to say in front of Kagome. His beloved was too delicate to have to face any truth that would bring her grief.

"Did you ever receive the invitation to come here for the celebration, Kouga?" Kagome asked warmly.

He shook his head. "Once the rumor reached me, I left to uncover the truth. The message must have just missed me. Is it soon?"

"The next moon." Sesshomaru replied. "You and your pack mates should feel free to stay here until the date comes. It seems a long trek for you to make only to have to come back once you reach home."

He felt Kagome lean a bit harder against his shoulder. Sesshomaru looked and found the miko asleep against him. He smiled which slightly unnerved Kouga. "We will send word to my pack and remain, then."

He nodded and collected his mate in his arms. He stood gracefully and readied to return to his room. "Make yourself available, Kouga. I wish to speak to you shortly once I have made my Lady comfortable."

They nodded and he returned to his room. Along the way he had a servant seek out Rin. She arrived at his room just as he had laid Kagome down. "Little one, would you do me a favor?" He asked his adoptive daughter.

She nodded. "Anything, my Lord."

He smiled and patted her head. "Take a nap with Kagome and if she wakes tell her that I will return soon. Can you do that?"

She smiled. "Of course."

He stood and watched as Rin crawled in beside Kagome and cuddled against her, petting her hair. The little miko smiled in her sleep and he felt at ease to return to Kouga and speak to him on the matter, which had caught his attention.

------

Kouga was out in the gardens. He was walking through Rin's field and had stopped to look across the stream at the small temple Sesshomaru had built for Kagome. He could scent them both there and it sent a slight pang through him. _She's happy, Kouga. She's happy and in love and that's what you've always wanted for her._ "Keep telling myself that, I might believe it." He murmured.

A few moments later, the Lord of the castle arrived. He turned and smiled to him. Sesshomaru bowed lightly. "There's something wrong with my brother and Kikyo, isn't there?"

He winced. "You're not very subtle, are you?"

"I am when it suits me. However, my mate is very fragile in her current condition and I would hate to see her go through the pain of losing our pup. So I ask you what it was you weren't saying in regards to my brother and Kikyo. They have been invited to the celebration as well and I would rather that Kagome not suffer unduly for what was unsaid and left her in shock."

He nodded and studied the taiyoukai in front of him. "He put on a good show. The love he held for Kikyo took him only so far and now it's his love for Kagome that keeps him tied to Kikyo, as strange as it sounds. I've gone to check on them now and again. My damned curiosity. He pulled away, but he did shortly after I informed them that I had seen Kagome. From what I could smell, though, Kikyo had left him shortly before I arrived. She stank of mortal mating not Inuyasha."

Sesshomaru spat and growled. "Whore."

Kouga nodded and sat. "Kagome gave up her home and family in the future for that woman and she... She spit on her sacrifice. The hell in all this is that Kagome can't know about it... Not until she's stronger. I can smell the weakness on her, but even if I couldn't, it's easy to see."

"She regenerated my arm and hand for me. Gave me back what my own foolishness cost me. She exhausted herself twice within only a few days." He paused and looked at the temple. His mind seemed far away. "It wasn't the most intelligent choice on my part, but I couldn't stand the thought of her going out again and risking her life in war and against youkai just to help and protect a race who frowns on her friendship with our kind. I couldn't chance that she would never come back, so I claimed her... And then the life in her was and I realized how fragile she had been when our child was sired. I haven't left her side since that first moment until now for fear that I might miss the slightest alteration in her scent that could give me a chance to protect them..."

Kouga watched the Lord carefully and realized that it was not just Kagome who loved him. He was completely and utterly in love with her. So deeply in love he could not completely hide his concern and fear for her. So entirely that the great and powerful Lord admitted weakness in the face of losing her. Kouga felt his respect for the inuyoukai deepen and strengthen. He met Sesshomaru's eyes intently. "I will speak to them when they arrive and tell them to play nice. Play pretend. If Kagome were to lose her child... She's already given up so much. To have a child taken from her might break her spirit. Not you or I or Inuyasha would want that, nor any other for that matter who love her."

"Kikyo wanted her dead." He said the words flatly and with the same ice that came inherently to him.

He snarled slightly and looked to the floor. "As I said... Anyone who loves her wouldn't want her to be harmed."

"You think she'll try again?"

"It depends on how much she hates Kagome. I know she was happy to be given her life back, such as it is. It's only that... By making such a great sacrifice for Inuyasha and her made sure that she lost him completely almost instantly, I think. It's so clear that he is a trapped man." He remembered the look in Inuyasha's eyes when he'd barely mentioned Kagome. There was pain there and loss, as if he were looking on her grave. It was Kikyo, however, that gave him greatest pause. He could smell her hatred. "What do you suggest we do about Kikyo if she does something... Foolish?"

He snarled and shook his head slowly. "There will be a time to decide later... My desire would be to kill her if she harms my mate or our pup."

"I think even Inuyasha would stand beside you if such happened. Especially to Kagome."

"Ensure she is warned, Kouga. Kagome thinks of Inuyasha as family and as much as his existence still enrages me, I would do anything... Swallow any bitterness to make her happy and ensure her joy. If I must kill Kikyo, I do not wish to further separate my brother from me."

Kouga couldn't help but smile. "She really has you, doesn't she?"

Sesshomaru snarled lightly at first, and then simply let it go. Why pretend when he so obviously could see and understand? "More thoroughly than I ever thought possible."

"She has all three of us, you know. Consider yourself lucky. You're the only one of us who will ever have her."

------

They had departed in the wagon two days before. His eyes had been fierce, as he had cornered her, dictating how things would be. How she should act. Mercifully he'd confronted her away from her sister's ears. Who did he think he was? His youkai blood was dead in him. He was only a man. A sad little man. She was still herself. She had retained some of her power at least. Enough that she could purify and, if pressed, kill. She'd hidden it from her sister and from him. What good would it do to let them see and know other than to give them an advantage?

As they neared the castle, she could sense the barrier surrounding it. She smiled faintly. It was the last barrier between her and her goal. Kagome. She would regret ever making her wish. The first chance she had, Kikyo knew what she would do. It would mean her own end, but at least she knew she would finally be able to hurt the little miko. And Inuyasha. He would feel the sting of true betrayal. He would understand true loss. He would know true pain through the screams of his beloved and her soul would finally find peace.

At the entrance, they were welcomed by servants and taken to their rooms in the castle. In Inuyasha and her room, Kouga sat waiting. He nodded to them and Inuyasha smirked. "What brings you here?"

"Same as you."

She watched his eyes soften and felt her heart harden even more. "Kagome." He murmured and Kouga nodded.

"She's well and I am certain we will see her in the near future. As you probably expected, Sesshomaru is highly protective of her. Since I've been here he's been away from her only a few moments to convey his wishes to me. Concerning you and your mate." His eyes met hers and she smirked.

"Concerning us? What reason would he have for concern?" She asked and breezed by him, putting her bag on the bed.

He didn't even answer her. "She's fragile, Inuyasha. There is fear for her child if she is brought too much turmoil. Fear for her if she would lose her child."

"Have you seen her, Kouga?" His voice was so soft, gentle even.

"Yes, when I first arrived and once since then. She has never been so weak, not even when Naraku's poison swarm had stung her. She regenerated your brother's arm and it was in the wake... That they bonded and the child was sired."

"Why would he be so foolish?" He snarled softly.

"You had heard the stories of the wandering miko of mercy who entered battle fields simply to save the dying and traveled to villages to destroy delinquent youkai? We had always thought it was her, but he confirmed the fact to me. He had been tending her, looking after her the whole time. From what he told me, he was finally able to convince her to take shelter in his castle and rather than chance her returning to the fray, risking her life again, he gave her the choice and she chose him."

"That doesn't explain why he'd sire a child with her when she was so weak."

"You were never a full youkai, so you cannot grasp what it is to take a mate. A human one at that. Full youkai mating, while our auras blend and hold us together spiritually, do not link completely our life energies. Thus if one mate were to die, the other would survive. It isn't the same for them. When he dies, she will follow. Her life will be extended and her youth frozen. His health will be her health. But in the same way, he can sense every part of her as if she were another limb. When her body calls him to procreate, he will never be able to deny her. He has sacrificed a part of his control to keep her with him and save himself from the pain of watching her whither and die. As much as I wish to blame him for this, I cannot. It was, perhaps, unwise to bond with her so soon after she had regenerated his arm, but it was her choice. Both of them could have stopped and waited, but neither wished to."

Inuyasha looked stricken. He leaned lightly against the door and frowned. "She loves him."

Kouga smirked and sighed. "She does. She made a choice and we have to be happy for her because she's happy. It's more than just carrying his child. She's carrying his spirit." Kouga looked to her then and she couldn't help but smile faintly. "I don't care who he is that you've taken over Inuyasha, woman. I don't care what you do when you leave here, but while you are here you will pretend. I don't anticipate you doing it for anyone but yourself so know very well if you try anything or tell Kagome the truth, that her sacrifice was in vain and she loses the child she carries, Sesshomaru won't even get close to you before you're dead."

Her smile vanished and she looked at the two men hatefully. Inuyasha said nothing, but his gaze spoke to his agreeing with Kouga. He agreed. What little she cared for her life and for him vanished. The sweet miko would pay for this. She would pretend for now. "You have my word. I will keep the secret, Kouga. I will never let her know what has happened between her beloved Inuyasha and I since she sacrificed so much." _But I will kill her child. That much I promise you._


	6. Lovers And Loss

Rewritten because I am having issues letting go of imperfection.

_**I do not own Inuyasha. No puppy ears to play with for me. Such is life. Sad Ivy.**_

_**Ivy**_

**Chapter five;**

Lovers and loss 

She almost overflowed with joy as she heard Sango's voice. Before he could stop her, she'd run out of their room and down the hall to where she had heard her friend. By the time she reached her, however, she felt the world spinning. "Oh..."

"Kagome!" Sango cried out. The baby in her arms fussed slightly and she watched Miroku catch the little miko in his arms.

"Kagome, wake up..." He said softly. Shippo moved near them, frowning softly.

"She fainted..." The kitsune murmured as Sesshomaru raced down the hall.

He scooped her up gently, a deep frown creasing his brow. He breathed her in deeply, and then relaxed slightly. He looked to the monk, Kitsune and youkai slayer and nodded. "She is very weak... If you will excuse me, I need to lay her down for a while."

Miroku nodded, frowning lightly. "When will we be able to see her?"

"Perhaps at the evening meal if she is feeling well enough." He said softly. There was gentleness to his voice and certain warmth that startled the three watching him hold their friend so tenderly. He looked down on her fair face and kissed her brow where his mark rested. "If you will excuse us..."

As he walked down the hall, they stared in wonder. Once he was out of sight, Miroku looked to his wife and Shippo. "I don't think we need to worry about her the way we have. I've never seen him so gentle. Not even with Rin. Something has softened in him."

"Something being Kagome." Sango murmured, glowing. She calmed her daughter and smiled to the others. "Let's get settled and ready for dinner, then go find Inuyasha and the others."

------

She stirred and the last of his tension left him. He caressed her brow and cheek tenderly and met her gaze as she woke. "Mm... Sesshou..."

"You nearly frightened me into an early grave, Kagome." He breathed, and drew her into his arms, kissing her gently. "You are too weak, Love. I know you are excited and elated that your friends are here, especially Sango... But our child must come first in your mind. If you strain your body too much you will lose our pup."

She trembled and clung to him. She hadn't realized. "I knew I was weak, but I didn't... I didn't realize how dire it all was."

"I have kept it from you. I did not wish you to worry. So long as you let me tend you and work on regaining your strength, you will be alright."

"I'm sorry, Sesshou." She breathed and he kissed her gently.

"It's alright." He whispered and kissed her again. He could not remain angered at her for long, though he was more worried than angered at the moment. "Are you feeling well enough to go to dinner with everyone? And I do not mean do you want to, I am asking you if you would be well enough."

She sighed and thought a moment. "I... I think I would if I didn't have to walk and could lay down a bit... I've been feeling ill of late."

He nodded and smoothed her hair gently. "It is an unpleasant but good sign. It means the pup grows."

She smiled and touched her belly gently. She hadn't begun growing, but the child was. Slowly, within her. She focused and caressed its energies and felt it respond. She guided her lover's hand to where hers had rested and did the same again, sharing the sensation. She glowed as she heard him gasp. His hand gripped lightly where it rested. "You feel it?"

"Yes..." His voice was filled with wonder and love. He pulled her tighter to him and kissed her deeply. "Our pup... It... It knows you."

She focused again and guided his energies with her own. He shuddered as she did so, clutching at her, and then trembling as he sensed their child responding to him, learning him and who he was. "It knows you now too." She breathed.

He smiled and cradled her as tightly to him as he dared, gazing into her eyes. "Thank you, my love... It is... Incredible."

She ran her fingertips along his lips and jaw. "It is yours."

He chuckled and captured her lips tenderly, locking her in a loving, passionate kiss. He hadn't realized there was a greater depth to his happiness. This kind of bliss was foreign to him, almost frightening. Still he embraced it as readily and eagerly as he did his mate. He wanted to learn more. He wanted to know more and feel more so long as she was always with him. When he finally broke the kiss they were both gasping for breath, clinging to one another as if they could fuse their bodies together. He breathed her in and felt his trembling stop. "I love you..." He murmured, pressing his lips into her hair and neck.

"I love you." She echoed, closing her eyes, burying herself into his chest. "So much."

No. No one would ever harm her or try to take her from him if they valued their life.

That evening he cradled her against him once he had helped her dress in a beautiful, though still comfortable, kimono he'd commissioned for her when he'd realized she was carrying his child. There were several others like it. They had extra fabric sewn into them so as she grew only a small string needed to be unfettered to accommodate their child. He carried her to the dining hall where her friends, so close they were family, waited on them.

They stood and he, on her bidding, set her on her feet so she could greet them each in turn. Shippo clung to her happily, leaving her with faint tears in her eyes. She had missed him and it was plain to see Sesshomaru would have to make an accommodation for the kitsune at his palace. She had left him to keep him safe. Now she could keep Shippo safe with her and her mate would not deny her.

Next she embraced Sango and they clung to each for a long while not saying a word. It was an unspoken conversation he could sense between them. He knew at some point he would have to leave them together to catch up and though that tore at him, he knew she needed her friend's company. Miroku hugged her gently, chastely and then kissed her in the same fashion on her cheek.

"You look so peaceful." He murmured. It was true. Even in her weakened, sickly state, serenity had overtaken her that had never been there before. She glowed and hugged him again, trembling.

"I missed you... You're the closest person I have to a brother in this time." She said softly and he smiled, caressing her hair.

"You miss Souta."

"Every day." She replied sadly. He met her eyes and nodded gravely.

"It will ease in time. You weren't born to eternity, but you have it now." It seemed this never had occurred to her until that moment. "Your bond with your mate will allow you to live indefinitely. So someday you will see them again. You just need to be patient and be happy with what you have gained here."

"I... I hadn't realized." Her eyes sparkled with the fire that had been nearly completely quenched the day she'd sacrificed so much. Sesshomaru felt himself relax slightly as he watched them. He hadn't realized she'd missed them so much... Not only her friends, but also her family. It was logical, but she hid so much so easily.

Inuyasha watched her from a little ways off. He watched her hug Kaede and then Kouga. Then her eyes fell on him and tears began to fall. His feet moved him to her before he knew he was walking. She fell softly into his arms and he held her close, letting her cry. "You should rest, Kagome..." He whispered, hugging her gently.

"Inuyasha..." She looked up and met his eyes. She was so beautiful and pure and... Perfect. She'd always loved him. Always accepted him. He couldn't help but worship the ground she walked on. "Are you happy, Inuyasha?"

He'd prepared for the question, but he wasn't made of steel. His eyes betrayed him ever so slightly, but he pretended or tried to. "Yes. Are you?"

She smiled one of her old smiles. She knew something was wrong, he could tell. "We'll talk later."

The words were so simple, but they struck him and the others. There was no sadness in her voice, only concern. She looked up and found her query. She met Kikyo's eyes and walked to her.

"Here, let me help you." Kikyo said softly, taking her arm gently and her hand.

Kagome smiled at her. It cut into her, but not because of guilt. Because she wanted to have what came so easily to this little shadow of her self. As she helped Kagome to her place, Kikyo focused her energies. It was time.

They didn't have time to react when each sensed Kikyo's energies build. One sudden pulse and then purifying energies channeled through Kagome's body. It was only a fragment of the power Kikyo had once had, but it was enough. Kagome didn't even scream. She just crumpled, the crescent moon on her brow glowing, then vanishing.

Sesshomaru reacted first. He felt the fragile bond between them suddenly and painfully severed. She'd purified his mate. He gathered up Kagome, and then pushed off, falling back into the farthest corner of the room. Kouga instantly had Kikyo and knocked her out while the others looked on in horror. "Kagome..." Sesshomaru breathed, trying to wake her. She whimpered and curled into a knot against him. She smelled so very human... So very mortal. Then his heart broke. Blood. Death. Their pup. "No... Kagome, wake up... Please wake up..." He shook her gently, but with urgency.

She stirred slowly. Her eyes were lost and frightened. Then she cried out. The sound was breathless and broken as she clutched her abdomen. "Kami... No... Please..." She whispered and pressed her eyes closed tightly. She began to sob as the realization of what Kikyo had done struck her. "No... NO!"

"Kagome..." He whispered, trying to calm her as she cried. Her remorse flooded over him in harsh waves. "Love... Shhhh..."

"Don't tell me it will be alright!" She moaned and tried to push away from him. He refused to let her go, his arms steely against her weak protests.

"I won't let you go." He said simply, echoing himself months earlier and easily kept his promise. "She broke our bond, Love... She..." He snarled and looked at Kikyo. Kouga had thrown her on the floor hatefully and Inuyasha was watching her beside him ruefully. He shuddered with rage, but fought it back. No. Later. He had to bring her back now. He had to have his mate back. He ached for her already.

She sobbed against him, weakly clinging to him. The scent of blood was invading Kouga's keen nose and he winced. "We should leave them. Now." He said simply and grabbed Kikyo by her arms, dragging her from the room. When they didn't follow he growled. "Now. Or else you get to face him feral."

They seemed to realize what had happened. Shippo whimpered as they left, unable to leave his adoptive mother without extra convincing. Before Inuyasha followed, he met his brother's gaze and nodded. His eyes filled with sympathy and pain.

Once they had left and sealed the doors, he caressed her gently, running his fingers through her hair. She wept into his chest, always trying to press closer. "Love... Let me..." He whispered, trying to coax her head back.

She looked up with broken, aching eyes. "Our baby..."

"I know... But I won't lose you, Kagome. And I won't leave you alone. She took our child, don't let her take us as well." Kagome shuddered and nodded, allowing him to tilt back her head, exposing her fragile, delicate throat. She whimpered as he took her in his teeth, biting down gently, barely leaving a mark. She submitted to him instantly, allowing him to mingle their auras again.

He shuddered and growled softly, feeling the whole of her body again fall in tandem with his. He pressed his eyes closed as he felt the absence within her now. Before he realized it, he felt his tears slip from his eyes, falling onto her coolly. She cried out softly and he held her closer as their bond reestablished. Her crescent moon returned, though the star was gone, his mark also purified from her body. He released her instantly as the bond completed and pulled her to him, cradling her, rocking her as they cried together. "I shouldn't have to... I shouldn't have had to do this again... You were mine... Are mine... I didn't think you could be taken from me. I was a fool..."

She wept and pressed her face into his chest. Her spirit and soul pulsed with grief, though she was able to take comfort in his presence fully now that their bond had been returned. "Don't leave me... Don't let me go... Kami... Love... I feel hollow without our child..."

"I won't ever let you go. You are mine." He breathed, his heart aching for her, for him, for their child. He thought of Kikyo and growled low, causing a shudder to pass through his mate. "I'm going to rend her." He said softly, icily.

Kagome didn't respond save for a whimper. He pushed away his need for revenge then, focusing totally on her and comforting her. Though he couldn't forget the woman who had caused so much pain with such ease and not even the slightest vestige of remorse. She'd been warned, he knew. Which means she did this only to cause pain and no other end. It sickened him. Enraged him. There would be no mercy for the miko Kikyo.

------

He watched her as she woke. He couldn't remember a time when he hadn't seen her in Kagome's eyes and countenance. Their smiles, their jaw, their touch... It was the way of incarnations. It was the way of death and rebirth. Had she never been resurrected, he would have claimed Kagome as his own simply because she reminded him of Kikyo.

Now he knew better. Same features, same face didn't make for the same person. A soul is only as pure as the spirit that houses it and the lifetime that shapes it. Kikyo was a victim of circumstance as Kagome was. But Kikyo couldn't run away from her destiny the way that Kagome could have. Kikyo had always been looking for a way out. Kagome had always accepted and continued along the path she felt was meant for her. She chose her path. She chose to become a miko. She chose. Kikyo did not.

What she had done now, she had chosen for herself and it spoke volumes toward who she really was. He hadn't smelled what Kouga had scented. His sense of smell was sharp, but no longer keen. It didn't take a stretch of reasoning to realize what had happened. Kikyo had purified her. Kikyo had expelled his brother's aura, his protective mark and his child, which was hanyo. By purifying the half that was its father, Kikyo had murdered Kagome's child. And she'd done it because she'd wanted to.

She smiled at him as she focused on him and he scowled. "Such a hateful face, Lover."

"You killed Kagome's pup."

"I purified her. I made her a present to you, Inuyasha, because you don't want me any more." She smiled in pleasure as he winced.

"I keep my word."

"And so do I. I said I would not harm her and I have not."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Harm infers that I damaged her. I purified her. She's a miko, not a youkai's whore. If she's as perfect as you all seem to think she is, she'll thank me for destroying the abomination she was carrying."

He couldn't take it any more. He stood and knocked her out again. His lip and eye twitched. He felt Kouga's hand on his shoulder and the light pressure it brought. Somehow it was comforting. "I never wanted this. She loves him, Kouga. I could see it in her eyes. When she fell into my arms... It felt like she was saying goodbye to what we had. I never wanted her to be so hurt."

"None of us did. Sesshomaru has taken her back to their apartments and refuses anyone entrance. Not even Kaede to check on Kagome's condition."

"He's in mourning. They both are. As much as we love her, he's the only one who grasps what she's going through. And she's the only one who knows where his heart lies." He sighed and looked to Kikyo. "We never should have come here."

"She would have been hurt deeply if you hadn't."

"But she'd have her child. My brother's pup."

He sighed and nodded. "We can't go back, though. We can't change what happened."

"But we can avenge her."

Kouga's eyes fell on Inuyasha. He hadn't been prepared for the venom in his voice. He hadn't anticipated that his hatred would be so quickly stirred. "Sesshomaru will want to kill her."

"So do I."

"You... She's your wife, Inuyasha, your mate."

"Kikyo died a long time ago. Kagome used her wish to give us what we always wanted, or thought we wanted... But she gave it to an undeserving man and a fracture of the woman I knew. Even the Kikyo I remember... She only ever wanted me to be something I wasn't. Even now I can sense the youkai blood in me. Kagome could suppress it with her wish but she couldn't destroy it or she'd destroy me. Just like Kikyo destroyed Kagome's child. The same would have been true if I'd been wished to be a full youkai. The human half of me would never be far off."

He smirked and shook his head. "When did you realize."

"The day I smelled someone other than myself on my mate."

His smirk fell away. "I see."

"No one said a damn thing."

"You mean I didn't say a damn thing."

"Yes." He said ruefully. "I was willing to swallow it. Willing to endure it for her. For Kagome's sake. Now it doesn't matter. She betrayed me and now she's harmed the only woman I've ever truly loved. I'm just sorry that it took me so long to realize that fact. But I can settle knowing that I've done the right thing and avenged Kagome's child."

"You might have to get in line."

"No doubt I will." He looked on Kikyo where she lay unconscious. His bile rose in his throat. "Still. She has to pay for what she's done."

------

She was asleep finally. Her tears had soaked through his clothing to his chest and his had wet her hair significantly. He hadn't known he could cry still, let alone weep. It had been silent tears for him while her sobs slowly wore her out. He'd felt so helpless to do anything but comfort her. He lay her back in their bed after undressing her and placing bandages on her to collect the blood as it flowed. He smoothed her hair back from her face and then curled around her over the blankets.

She was beautiful even now. She was pale and worn, her face tear stained, her brow creased in turmoil and agony. Still, she was beautiful. Pure, warm, loving and beautiful. _You will survive, my love, you have to. Our hearts broke tonight, but you must recover. I can't lose you._

She pressed to him in her sleep and whimpered. The sound was so weak, so broken it made him shudder. He held her closer to him, caressing her gently. She began to sob. _Are you dreaming, Love?_ She writhed suddenly and then screamed, curling into a fetal knot. He tried to calm her, shaking her lightly as heavy footfalls neared their room. She screamed again before he could wake her. The door was flung open and Inuyasha and Kouga were looking at them with worried expressions. She writhed and clawed at him. Suddenly her eyes were wide, a look of utter brokenness swimming in her gaze.

"What's the matter?" Inuyasha questioned, moving toward them.

"Stay back, Inuyasha!" He snarled, then pinned Kagome as gently as he could. She sobbed brokenly as she began stirring from her troubled sleep. Inuyasha and Kouga, to their credit, did not move any closer. When Kagome finally was awake, staring at him, he felt a part of his soul rip away. "Love..." There was so much pain in her gaze, it cut through him.

She shuddered and began to weep, going slacken beneath him. He gently picked her up and cradled her, caressing her gently. "Shhh... You're safe..."

Inuyasha winced, watching them together. She was naked in his arms but uncaring that they even were looking at her. All that mattered to her in that moment was the fact that she was in her lover's arms. He felt Kouga's hand on his shoulder, and then walked out of their room, closing the door.

He'd noticed how they looked at her. How her two ex suitors had gazed on her helplessly as he comforted her. Even through his grief he felt some validation in their gazes. They were accepting her as his mate, at least. Before he had seen that it seemed more of a begrudging acknowledgement. Acceptance was different. It meant that he didn't have to worry about them trying to steal her from him. He kissed her brow as she calmed, then her lips lovingly.

She whimpered, weakly returning his kiss with love and warmth, but still he could sense her sorrow. He knew time would ebb it, but it would never leave her. He knew so well because he already felt its permanence in his own heart. As permanent as his love for her. He broke the kiss gently and breathed her in. His tears fell onto her cheeks. She reached up and touched the crystal rivers with trembling hands. "The great Lord cries..."

He nodded softly and kissed her fingertips. "For our child... For us. One bonding in such joy and one in such pain. I never wanted this for you and me, Kagome. I failed to protect you."

She trembled and kissed him gently, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Don't torture yourself... You couldn't have known."

"Its my fault..."

"Its Kikyo's fault." She said harshly and met his eyes with a hatred and agony that burnt him slightly. He winced and she let it fade back again, her gaze tender and loving. "You didn't kill our child and destroy our bond. She did. You protected me as much as you could. No one could have known what was going to happen or else she wouldn't have been any where near me, let alone alive."

He bowed his head to her, still berating himself. "I should have seen it... I should have reacted quicker..."

"Sesshomaru, stop..." She said. Her voice was pained. He met her eyes and felt his world crash down around him. There was a look of love and strength he'd not expected. She was so pure, so good that he had forgotten how strong she was. She was Kagome, the little miko who was always protected and being saved. Still, there was strength within her that was almost ethereal. "You can't blame yourself any more than I can. If you blame yourself, then you have to blame me too. If you love me, you'll forgive yourself as easily as I forgive you."

He held her tighter to him and nodded, relenting. He couldn't say no to her no matter how much he wanted to. He shuddered and lay back with her, allowing her to cradle him against her. He let himself weep again, realizing that until today he hadn't cried since he was a pup. Men didn't cry. It had been pounded into his mind over and over again. Men didn't cry. But how could he keep himself from it now? The ache was so great and the feeling of loss so overwhelming and here he was, in the arms of a woman who had bewitched him, body and soul. He felt so safe with her; so complete he could allow his walls to crumble when they were alone. When they were alone, he could be prone, naked, and vulnerable as he'd never imagined possible before. Before her. And it frightened him. When Kikyo had broken their bond, that fear was realized. The safety and joy he had simply in sensing her aura blended with his had been ripped away from him along with their child. He promised himself he would never allow that to happen again. He would be ruthless, cruel, heartless in his pursuit to ensure she never was taken from him again and still keep that part of him, that weakness within him, his love for her so he could have these moments still, no matter what he was forced to do. He needed her and as much as it had once enraged him to need anyone so deeply and uncontrollably, he would have it no other way. She was his heart and soul.


	7. Broken Vengence

_**Rewritten barely because it barely needed it, but Goddess… This chapter is LONG. Really, REALLY long. Pretty and mushy and fluffy… But LONG.**_

_**Little note… I like reviews. I LOVE reviews. Reviews make me happy. So VERY happy. Because they mean I'm doing something right.**_

_**I don't own Inuyasha. Sometimes, in my sleep, the puppy-boy might curl up at my feet to keep me company, but he isn't mine and never will be.**_

_**Ivy**_

**Chapter six;**

**Broken vengeance**

There was peace in the field. Rin was playing nearby; dipping her toes in the cool waters of the stream and Shippo was practicing with his wooden sword. He had matured fast once his kitsune powers had peaked and now was an adolescent. Kagome was laid back, her head resting lightly on Sesshomaru's chest, and she felt at peace, miles away from her pain. The celebration would be in a few days, but there was a black veil hanging over the palace and everyone within it. She hadn't let them throw out the cloths she'd bled onto for nearly a week and a half. Sesshomaru had understood immediately. There was no corpse of their child to morn, it had been too soon. The deep crimson stains were all that remained proving it had existed at all. When she had healed and the bandages were no longer necessary, her mate had taken her to their courtyard and they'd burnt the cloths, collecting the ashes in a tiny, ornate urn that they'd placed in the temple he'd built for her.

Kikyo was in the cells beneath the palace built to hold criminals doomed to death. Kagome couldn't bring herself to descend to where the miko was held. Her heart ached that the woman was still alive, but she understood why Sesshomaru had ordered her held until after the celebration of their union. He wanted nothing to mar their happiness, not even the execution of the murderer of their child. He'd worked so hard to keep her mind off the woman. Her name was forbidden to be spoken in the palace until the execution was at hand. It was not just for Kagome's sake he had ushered the proclamation, it was for himself. The sound of her name threw him into a state of rage and depression that could not be quelled until he found solace in his mate's arms. She could soothe the pain, smoothing out the agony of their loss in his heart and need for revenge.

She sat up slowly and smiled down on his sleeping form. She brushed some of his bangs from his brow, then leaned to him and kissed the crescent that rested there. "Beautiful Sesshou..." She whispered. A short distance away Shippo paused just slightly as the corners of his mouth tugged into a slight smile. They'd underestimated Kagome's resilience. He hadn't. He knew his mother. She was like a tender reed in a rushing river. Her spirit bent with the violence of the current but never broke and her roots ran deep into the fertile mud of the river bottom, strong as the roots of any tree on the shore. After his momentary reflection he continued with his practice.

She leaned again and kissed his lips tenderly, but not deeply. She wanted to savor him while he was so peaceful, while he dreamed. The sight of him always made her melt and quake while he was awake. His eyes were fierce yet passionate and always over brimming with love for her. Yet, when he slept she thought she could see the boy he once was and it made her heart melt. It was the boy deep within him who needed her to see his vulnerability. The man needed to protect and hold her close to him, but the boy... All he needed was her love and tenderness. She treasured the boy in him and protected that part of his soul with the same determination that he protected the weak, fragile girl in her. Once she came to that realization, it had helped her to endure the loss of their child. Someday they would try again, but for now... For now just having the knowledge of their connection and their interconnectedness in their need for one another was enough to help soothe the fracture in her spirit as well as the one in his at their loss.

He began waking as the light from the sun slipped over his closed eyes. His arm wrapped reflexively around her hips where she sat in the crook of his arm. She watched him wake, feeling her heart flutter as his liquid golden eyes, warming in the sunlight, fell on her. His breath caught in his throat as he caught sight of her. The sun turned her hair to a fiery halo as she gazed down at him lovingly, with sparkling deep blue eyes.

Before he had even thought how beautiful she was, he was upright, kissing her deeply, clutching her to his chest. She shuddered and returned his kiss passionately, clinging to him tightly. Her strength had returned along with her health in the last week as well as her fire. He shuddered and growled, laying her back into the wild flowers, deepening his kiss. His hands wandered along her sides as he felt her fingers slip into his hair, holding at his neck.

Shippo chuckled and walked to Rin, picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder. "Come on kid, mom and dad need some time alone." The girl giggled and he smirked as he returned to the castle.

Sesshomaru smiled into the kiss, having heard Shippo. At least the boy had developed a sense of propriety. From what he'd seen in the past, before he'd matured, the kitsune had an annoying level of curiosity that often led him to slip his nose into places that he didn't belong. As he sensed them leave, his hands became more daring and his kiss more enflamed. He would have stopped there had she not responded so eagerly to him. It was still so close to the loss of their child. He didn't know if she was ready and while she recovered physically he was unwilling to do much more than hold her, kiss her gently and soothe her as she healed. This moment was so very, completely different.

He broke the kiss slowly, reluctantly to meet her gaze. A soft whimper escaped her as she arched softly, brushing her lips against his even as he pulled away. "Don't pull away..." She whispered, her eyes enflamed and eager for his touch and love.

It was all he needed to hear from her to proceed. He pressed his lips back to hers, kissing her hungrily. She moaned and returned his kiss, gently clutching his back and shoulder. He growled again and captured her wrists, pinning her into the soft bed of earth and petals beneath them. Her moans urged him on as he nipped along her jaw and throat. She arched to him softly, her scent becoming heady with desire and readiness. It was all he could do to not rip her kimono open carelessly and take her fiercely. His instincts concerning their second bonding had been suppressed with the knowledge of her miscarriage. Somewhere in his mind and body there was an understanding that he could not take her or it would damage her further both physically and emotionally and so he had simply claimed her then and let her return to him in her own time.

Frankly, this was sooner than he had expected. Still, it was a pleasant and pleasurable surprise to find her so ready, so eager for their joining. To add even further delight, now that her weakness had been overcome, she was responding to him. She wasn't simply reacting, being made love to, being overcome by his taking her; she was returning sensations and passion. As much as he was possessing her, dominating her senses, she was returning the same with her own strength. He groaned and pressed to her, taking both her wrists in his hand, then slipped his free hand down, pushing back her kimono carefully, untying her obi slowly. Shudders passed through her as he did, her kiss becoming deeper with a hunger to match his own.

He smiled again into the kiss, caressing her abdomen and hips languidly, savoring the shivers that were passing through her body. Breathless cries were escaping into their kiss and her blush was deepening to scalding. He freed himself with one quick, easy motion, and then drew her already parted legs to his hips. When he was positioned, he broke the kiss and again pinned her with both hands. She arched to him, gazing into his eyes with need and fire. Her lips were an impossible shade of crimson and her breath was hot against him. "Mine..."

She arched her head back to him, exposing her throat. He didn't even think before he'd captured that supple and delicate flesh in his jaws, biting down just enough to bruise. "Yours..." She gasped, and then cried out in anticipation and pleasure.

His growl was almost a purr at her submission. He wove his fingers with hers, grasping her hands tightly in his as he thrust deeply into her fiery and silken embrace. She both welcomed and claimed him, clutching around his manhood with a sharp cry of ecstasy. He groaned and shuddered, not expecting such a reaction from her. It set him on fire in a way he hadn't realized he could be. It made him submit to her just as readily as she had to him and it did not frighten him. It made him smile. He released her throat, gazing into her eyes as he began a deep, strong rhythm, shuddering as she kept up, falling into synch with him.

She was so beautiful to him. Her eyes were deep pools of night sky. Mortals would have called those skies black, but his eyes saw them differently, with the eyes of an immortal youkai. They were only a deeper blue, a purer blue, an encompassing blue that took trust to be immersed in. Kami, he trusted this mortal woman beneath him who cried out his name and was enflamed with their passion. He loved her more with every passing moment and desired her more deeply with every gaze and kiss.

They came together, their spirits and pleasure rising and crashing achingly at once. Still he did not stop, nor did she. They didn't want to. They couldn't even if they did. Their bodies longed to continue, to exhaust each other over and over as if in the hopes of fusing through their earthly nirvana. When they finally could continue no longer, night had claimed the field and she was collapsed atop of him. She panted softly, wrapped tightly and protectively by his arms. His breath was as quick and aching as hers as he looked up to the stars in wonder. He sat up slowly, petting her and kissing her tenderly. She trembled and clung to him, faint weakness in her embrace. There were no words between them. Words were unnecessary and would have been a failure in that moment. No words could describe the feeling between them.

Just as wordlessly as they had held each other, he stood with her, cradling her, and flew them back to their courtyard. Once there he took her into their room and undressed her, then himself. They curled eagerly back together, petting and gazing into each other's eyes with love and worship. He tested her scent, hoping that she was still far from fertility. He guessed they had perhaps a week, maybe less before her body was completely recovered and ready again. A pang ran through him. Would she be ready? Could he even hold back if she wasn't?

"I'm not afraid..." She breathed, caressing his jaw gently. "You shouldn't be either. If it happens again, it happens."

He studied her gaze intently for any sign that she wasn't being completely honest. He found none and pressed his brow to hers. "If it happens I want you to more than simply accept it. I want you to want it. I want you to treasure it as much as you did the child we lost."

She shuddered and clung to him. There weren't any tears, but he held her as if there were. "Any child you give me I will treasure. No matter when I conceive again, I'll ache. Be it in a month, a year, ten years... And so will you. Because the memory is there. Our child was murdered. It wasn't nature or an accident that took it from us. There will be pain and fear with every birth that shouldn't be there... That was imposed by cruelty. But that won't lessen my love or desire for our children. That doesn't lessen my desire to have them. I ache to have them. I ache to give them to you."

He nodded, trembling, allowing himself to be vulnerable in her arms. Allowing himself was becoming more and more acceptable in his mind. He trusted her. He needed the shelter, the haven she provided him that he'd never known before. He always had to be strong before and it had slowly been killing him. He hadn't realized until the day he'd seen her fall in battle, poisoned by Naraku. It was when he'd first realized that he loved her. She'd proven she could endure, survive and recover from pain, strife and the cruelty of the world unscathed. Her heart was pure and good, warm and loving. Her innocence confused him, her acceptance and ability to forgive overwhelmed him as Rin's same beautiful soul had. But Kagome had overwhelmed him in a far different way. It was not just that she was a woman. Even when Rin grew into the beautiful woman he knew she would, he knew that he'd never be able to see her as anything or anyone more than a daughter. What was it that made Kagome his mate and Rin his daughter? He'd never thought of the reasons. It fell on him without having to consider. Kagome and he were meant for each other. Some part of their souls interlocked unbreakably as lovers. She could give him peace and shelter in a way that he could never accept from another. He could do the same for Rin. He could protect her, tend her, love her, but she could never do the same for him. She wasn't meant to be his haven. Kagome was.

Perhaps it was a matter of taste. Perhaps it was simply a matter of circumstance. Rin traveled with him and he ensured her safety. Kagome walked on her own and fought by his side. Rin he could happily give to another to be happy. Kagome he could not settle allowing another man to have her. He kissed her lovingly, caressing her form gently, cradling her. "I ache for us to have them." He breathed and felt her melt against him.

As they drifted into sleep, the tension, pain and fear slipped from their bodies. It was the first night there hadn't been tears or heartache. There were no dreams or nightmares, just healing rest and finally forgiveness. For everything. For everyone. But Kikyo.

He had taken to sitting outside her prison door every night. It wasn't because he cared if she needed anything or that he missed her presence in his bed. It was because every night he had to convince himself not to go in and kill her. It was all right. He wasn't alone sitting outside the door.

Kouga looked down at him after a long span of silence. "You know, we could probably beat the living shit out of her and Sesshomaru wouldn't care."

"I'd rather ask him first since it's his house. And I'd rather not ask him until after the celebration."

"Are you actually learning to respect your brother?" Kouga sounded faintly shocked.

Inuyasha only chuckled. "Hardly."

"Then what is it?"

"It's her house too. I don't want her to know if I torture the bitch."

Kouga smirked and watched his old rival with interest. He was completely devoted to Kagome's happiness, as was he, though neither one of them had admitted as much to the other. They didn't have to. It was plain to see. "Where were you this afternoon? I thought we were going to spar."

"I needed a walk."

"You saw them too?"

Inuyasha chuckled and shook his head sadly. "She looked like an angel and all I could do was wish I was in his place."

"She sounded like one too." He murmured and sighed, frowning slightly. "Where'd you walk?"

"Into the forest for a while. Needed to let off some steam."

"Y'know, we're going to keep running into them if we stay here."

"You planning to stay too, huh?"

"Could go back to my pack but with the other wolf packs eyeing this territory, I thought maybe mine would pledge allegiance to Sesshomaru."

He nodded and thought through his next words carefully. "If Kagome thinks she can forgive me, I'm thinking of reverting to a hanyo. I can feel the energies building in me and if I just let go of my control once I know that the magic of the Shikon no Tama will release."

"Why do you want to become a hanyo again? You'd be between worlds."

He shrugged and sighed. "I'll always be caught between worlds in my heart. At least as a hanyo I can hold my own with the youkai court if I decide to stay here. As it is, Sesshomaru had to adopt Rin as his daughter and bond with Kagome to have any right to keep them here and safe. Even though I'm technically his brother as a human, without some youkai blood coursing through me he would have to send me away in time and I would rather remain here."

"You mean you'd rather remain with her."

He snarled lightly. "Yes. Not because I want to take her from him or even because I think I could... Because up until recently she was my life. She was what I protected. Without her I've been lost. Even when we were only friends, she was my guiding light. So I want to stay so I have some purpose."

"He might be resistant for that very reason."

He shook his head. "If Kagome wants me, he'll never tell her no."

"You think?"

"I know. Think about it, Kouga. When have either of us ever been able to deny her anything she asked us for?"

"You never loved her when she wanted you to."

He scowled. "Low blow."

"It's the truth."

"She never asked me to love her. She never played games or tried to make me or force me to stay away from Kikyo. She might have wanted me to, but... She didn't want to force me into anything. She never wanted me to be anything more than what I was."

"And if she'd asked you?"

"I would have been the one with her in the field today."

"I see." He said softly and shook his head. "I never really got that from you before."

"I was too proud to show it. I ached and wept over her like I never did over Kikyo. It hurts to think that it took me this long to realize that now."

"Oh for Kami's sake, shut up." The miko's voice called from inside her cell.

Both men snarled. Kikyo looked at the door and focused so she could see their energies. Inuyasha's youkai blood was getting stronger every day and so she could see them, their auras through the door of her cell. She was chained to the wall and floor in the dank stone room below the palace. There was a small futon for her in the corner and a chamber pot for her waste. Every night since she'd been imprisoned, they'd watched her door. It made it impossible for her to do anything in the way of plotting an escape. They would have sensed it. They would have stopped her. So now she only had her thoughts and their blasted conversations about their beloved Kagome that fueled her rage further. There would be a time. The night of the celebration. Then she would strike.

They were talking again. Talking about Kagome and how wonderful she was. _This is making me sick._ She thought to herself. She only hoped she could be patient until the time came.

------

He couldn't find his practice sword. No matter where he looked, it was like it had just disappeared. Shippo frowned and paced in his room, running his fingers lightly through his hair. He paused, hearing a giggle a little way down the hall.

He smirked faintly and decided to follow the sound. It took him to the door of Kagome and Sesshomaru's room just as it closed.

"What is it, Rin?" Kagome's voice asked from the other side of the door.

"Can I hide this here?" The girl asked.

"Does Shippo know you have that, Little one?" Sesshomaru asked. His query was returned with a giggle. "You should give it back to him."

"But, my Lord, he plays mischief on me all the time!"

"Don't pout, Rin." The Lord said firmly.

"Why?"

"Because Sesshou is having a hard enough time saying no to me right now. He doesn't need his other girl making things harder for him."

There was a pause and Shippo had to hold his mouth not to laugh. _Sesshou?_

"It's not polite to eavesdrop, Kitsune." Came Sesshomaru's voice. Rin gasped and he heard her hiding somewhere. "Come in here, we should have a talk."

He entered cautiously, finding Kagome sitting on the edge of the bed brushing out her long hair. Rin was hiding behind her and Sesshomaru was standing near the entrance to a small courtyard at the back of the room holding his practice sword. "Close the door." The Lord said softly and Shippo did, swallowing hard.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I was just..."

Sesshomaru raised his hand, silencing him. "No excuses." He studied the kitsune closely, as if assessing his worth. "Your mother has asked me to make a place for you in my palace. She has also requested I train you to fight as you continue to mature. I have informed her that you couldn't possibly become an expert considering you are beginning so late, but she has faith in you and will not relent until I agree. As I am loath to say no to her ever, I wanted to put it to you. Would you like to remain here when the youkai slayer and monk return to their home and, if so, would you wish to be indulged in the rather pointless exercise of being trained?"

Kagome scowled at him and Shippo almost shuddered at the mischievous grin that Sesshomaru gave her. "You are so hopeless sometimes."

He didn't respond vocally, but looked down and chuckled. It was like he melted in her presence. All of his ice fell away and he was warm, congenial and, frighteningly enough, happy. Shippo continued to watch their interplay for a moment before recovering himself from shock. "I... I would like to very much, Lord Sesshomaru."

The Lord nodded and walked toward the Kitsune. He handed him his practice sword. "Then we will make sure you have a room of your own. Now, take Rin and explain to her that since you have your own room, she is not to enter it. If she does, however, she cannot run to our rooms and expect us to protect her from you any longer. She is becoming a Lady very quickly and there is only one logical reason a Lady would enter a man's room."

"Sesshou!" Kagome growled. He only laughed as Rin slipped into Kagome's lap and frowned.

"What is he talking about, Kagome?"

Kagome scowled, covering Rin's ears as she looked up to her mirthful mate. "You get to explain this to her in a few years. I downright refuse."

Shippo bit his lower lip, trying not to laugh out loud. The girl was maybe eleven years old now. She wasn't innocent in the world, but she certainly had no idea what the adults were talking about. He barely did and that was because of a few accidental run-ins with Miroku and Sango. He put out his hand to Rin. "Come on, Kid. You really want to cause some mischief, let's go see if we can hide some of Inuyasha's stuff."

He heard Kagome laugh as he walked out hand in hand with Rin and felt himself smile in mirth. It wouldn't be too terrible a thing having a little sister. Especially considering he could teach her so much about being mischievous as well as adorable.

Sesshomaru chuckled as they left, closing the door behind them. He sighed and smiled, leaning slightly into the slight frame of his beloved who had moved behind him, embracing him gently. Her hands gently gripped at his waist and chest as she breathed him in, absorbing his heat. "You are very relaxed around him."

"I accepted as soon as I saw him with you again that I had inherited a son. He should fear me as any son should fear their father but since he is now family, I will not begrudge my affections from him."

"As you have affection for our Rin?"

"Yes." He smiled and caressed her hands and arms, melting slightly as he felt her head resting between his shoulder blades. "My father showed me little affection and ensured I feared and respected him. I watched other fathers with their sons and daughters and saw the love I craved from him and swore I would never be cold to those I called my children. My ice is to intimidate my foes but it is not who I am. Not when I am home. Not with my offspring. Not with my mate."

"Is he also why you waited so long to take a mate?"

"I suppose... He and my mother never loved each other. It was plain to see and it hurt and confused me as to why they would be together. I could have taken a mate for politics as they did, but I did not want to subject myself to a mating without love. Though it infuriated me that my father took a mistress, I knew it must have brought him pain that he couldn't take her as his own and ensure she was safe and his. Perhaps it is why I hate my brother so much... Our father loved him."

"You think your father never loved you?"

He paused and turned to her, embracing her finally. No one had ever asked him that question before. No one had dared. No one, honestly, could without his ire and wrath but the beautiful woman he held against his chest now and no one would ever hear the answer but her. "I was his heir apparent. His flesh and his bone and he taught me everything he knew. Still he teaches me through the swords he left Inuyasha and I. If he loved me, I never felt it. If he was proud that I was his son, I can only ever guess. What I know is that he trusted me with his lands and with one of his swords. Without it I wouldn't have the two most important people in my life at this moment. Without Tensaiga, neither you or Rin would be with me."

She nodded faintly and kissed gently over his heart upon the silk of his kimono. "But do you think he loved you? Whether you know or not matters less than whether you think he did."

He bowed his head and held her tighter. His heart panged painfully and he trembled. "No. I do not think he did."

She looked up to him and met his eyes with love and warmth. Her fingertips caressed his cheek and jaw tenderly. "I think he did."

He shook his head, closing his eyes. "You didn't know him."

"I don't have to. Sesshou... Did you ever wonder why you received Tensaiga rather than your brother? Both swords have the potential to control Inuyasha's youkai half. Did you ever stop to consider why you, the full youkai son, was given the sword that took sympathy for humanity to activate while Inuyasha, who had human blood, was given the sword that could kill youkai?"

He shook his head again, refusing to open his eyes. He'd never thought of it. He'd only ever been enraged by the decision.

"I think I do. It was more than teaching his sons lessons for their lives. I think he knew you would love a human mate. I think he saw himself in you more than your mother and he wanted to help you find that within your heart. A father wouldn't do that kind of thing unless he wanted his son to be happy. A father wouldn't want his son to be happy if he didn't love him."

"How... How can you be so certain?" His voice wavered as he ran his fingers through her hair gently.

"You forget I had a father too, Sesshou... He died when I was seven. I worshiped him, loved him more than anything. I always wondered if he would be proud of me... If he would have blessed me in what I've chosen for myself."

"Do you think he would?"

She nodded softly, closing her eyes. She tried to reconstruct his face in her mind, tried to recall the music of his voice as it soothed over her when he would sing her to sleep at night and the strength of his arms when he would hug her. "He only wanted me to be happy. He wanted me to have a life I could be proud of. He wanted me to be the best person I could be. He loved me... He loved me enough, I think, that he would have blessed me in my decisions to this point and any that I will make from here on. But I can't help but question. I suppose you can't either. Neither of us will ever really know the answers to our questions. We have to take it on faith."

He felt his lips curl into a smile. He held her tighter, drawing her lips to his, kissing her tenderly. "You give me faith."

She smiled and returned his kiss lovingly. "Sesshou..."

"Kagome." He replied, meeting her gaze. "Thank you."

She blushed deeply and hugged him as tightly as she could. He chuckled and kissed the crown of her head. "Come. You need to govern."

"And you need to keep me company." He murmured, taking her hand and leading her to the reception room.

------

Inuyasha sighed as he looked around his room. "Shippo, I hope you've enjoyed breathing because I'm going to kill you." He said softly, having scented the kitsune as well as his brother's adoptive pup, Rin, in his room. They took a few of his things and had probably hidden them somewhere in the palace. He turned and walked toward the reception area where he knew Kagome was with Sesshomaru. He needed to ask permission if only to hunt down the two brats and teach them better.

He entered the reception area and watched from the door as another group of guests arrived and were greeted by his brother and Kagome. When they'd been escorted out, he entered and bowed to them, though mostly to Kagome, then sat. "I need your blessing for something, Kagome." He said softly, smiling faintly as her eyes fell on him curiously. "You made your wish on the Shikon no Tama and... I am grateful. You know I am."

"But it isn't your nature." She murmured, startling both him and Sesshomaru. She sighed and stood, walking away from both of them to look out the window onto the mountain. She smiled, but both could tell she was hurt. Sesshomaru suppressed a growl, but his eyes spoke volumes to Inuyasha. "I think I knew when I made the wish that it wouldn't be what you wanted in the end."

"Then why would you make it? You gave up everything when you knew that it wasn't going to work out... Why, Kagome? Why sacrifice your happiness?"

She trembled and looked back to the two men she loved so deeply. "Inuyasha, shame on you. I had a choice. My time or this time. The fact is that I invested my life here. I gave up any chance at the happiness I could have had then to be by your side through it all. I could have gone back, yes... But what was I going back to? I hadn't even traveled back once in two years before I made that wish."

"Kagome... Your family was there." Sesshomaru said softly, concern forming a line in his flawless brow.

"My mother, my brother, my grandfather... Yes. The family of my birth. And I miss them... So much..." Tears began to slip from her eyes, clinging to her long lashes. Both men started to move toward her, but she put up her hand. "I need to finish this or I'll never say it." They paused, the brothers watching this woman who had captured them both entirely. They paused and listened and she smiled faintly. "I didn't realize I'd fall in love with you, Sesshou... I couldn't have known how much you would come to mean to me when I made the wish. Fate has a way of giving us back what we thought we lost. I will see my family again and for that I thank Kami every moment for bringing me to you. But I didn't know what was to come when I made the wish. When I held the Shikon no Tama in my hand all I saw was Inuyasha forced to watch his dream die again before his eyes. I didn't think about losing my family in the time of my birth. I thought of watching this man... This beautiful man break apart in front of me after everything I'd done up until that moment was to heal the fractures and damage the world had done to him. I loved you, Inuyasha. I still love you. Enough to give you what you want over and over again." She paused and looked to the ground, knowing how much she'd shaken both of them. Her hand rested gently over her abdomen and she shuddered, letting herself slip to the floor. "What is it about love that strips us of our ability to say no? What is it about that simple emotion that cripples our ability to take into account our own happiness? I've made choices for myself... For the two I've loved completely and though I've gained so much, I've lost as much. And I ache for it."

Inuyasha fought back the urge to go to her. It was his brother's place and so it didn't surprise him, as Sesshomaru moved to kneel beside her, cradling her with such tenderness it seemed foreign in him. She clung to him and it cut into Inuyasha as he could never put into words. She couldn't ever tell him no. She'd said it herself. But just as she'd never asked him to love her, he could never ask her to be with him. His brother made her happy, gave her peace, and showed her comfort and love that Inuyasha never could. It ached to even admit it.

Sesshomaru cradled her, running his claws through her hair. He pressed his brow to hers and she sighed. Her fingers danced along his jaw and throat and he trembled just slightly. "You are so strong you forget that you are. My mate. My Kagome. You are the mountain that shelters without thinking. You are the river that quenches the thirst of the land simply by your existence. Do not regret."

"I do not. I only feel so helpless."

"You aren't, Kagome." Inuyasha said softly. His brother looked up to him and nodded.

"Listen to him. For once he says something that makes sense."

She laughed and shook her head. She looked to Inuyasha. "Be what you need to be in order to be happy. Do what you need to do in order to find joy. And always remember you are loved. Completely and utterly."

He nodded softly and left the room, leaving the two alone. Once he was gone, Sesshomaru kissed her gently, and then met her eyes. "Would you... Would you rather be with him?"

She looked at him, suddenly stricken. "No... No, why would you ask such a thing?"

He looked away and down. She'd never seen him look so insecure. "I want you to be happy."

She took his face in her hands gently and made him look at her. "What makes you think that you don't make me happy?"

"If it is because you think I will not carry you into eternity to your family... I still could. I'd yield my claim on you but I'd ensure that you'd endure as long as you wished..."

"Stop!" Her eyes whispered pain and confusion to him. "Just stop... Sesshou... I love you."

"But you loved him first."

"First is not always best." She breathed, sending a jolt through him. "I loved him as a girl would love. It was only once I matured that I realized what form that love was taking. Do you think I didn't realize what happened when I chose to sacrifice my life in my own time? Do you think I missed the look on his face and the tone in his voice? It was begging me to stay with him. Begging me to be with him even then."

"Why didn't you go to him then? Was it because... Because you thought she'd always be between you?"

"No. It was because I knew he couldn't make me happy. It wasn't because I didn't think he could devote himself to me entirely then. I knew he could. Suddenly I was more than Kagome, I was what he'd always dreamed Kikyo was. I was the dream he'd made her into. The dream that never let him release her and choose me. I can't explain what it was in him that made me realize we couldn't ever be. But, suddenly, as if Kami decided to change destiny completely, there he was and all I could think was that I wanted him, Inuyasha, my _brother_ to be happy. And that is all I've ever thought of him as since. My brother."

He processed what she had said slowly. He understood what she was saying. It was the same for him when he looked at her and Rin. Rin was his daughter. Kagome was his mate. What defined that? What aspect of these two who he loved so dearly gave them these roles? It was not age, for he would remain the same as Rin had matured had he wanted her as something more than his daughter. It was not how they had initially come into his life. It was simply the feelings they brought into his heart. For one, he found himself paternal and the other he found himself in the role of lover. Even though he'd accepted this long ago, it was something completely foreign to contemplate Kagome making a similar distinction between him and his brother. "You... You are certain that this Sesshomaru is who you want?"

She kissed him suddenly and with searing fire, clinging to him as if she thought they could meld their forms. He returned her kiss, clutching her against him with all his strength. He breathed her in, savoring the scent of her and the taste of her kiss. When they finally parted, only a fraction so she could answer him, they both found themselves breathless with their hearts beating in their ears. "Even if you didn't give me eternity and I knew I'd live and die a mortal, I would want this Sesshomaru. I want my Sesshou. This man who sets my soul on fire."

He felt himself blush at her words. He ached for her suddenly, ached to be one with her and claim her over and over again. His hot breath sent a shudder through her and she cried out softly as his fingers slipped into her hair, holding her gently at the nape of her neck. He nipped at her lips, never having pulled back from her as she spoke. She nipped back, trembling. He chuckled low and deep, making his chest rumble. "Mine..." He breathed, standing with her, pressing her against the window jam as he pushed her kimono back.

She shuddered, gazing at him through half closed, dreamy eyes. "Yours..." She could never deny his need or her own. Their auras danced together and so their mutual desire always came with a single spark from one of them. At this moment, it had been the culmination of two sparks set on equal paths and neither could deny what they needed and craved. She wrapped her legs around his hips as he pulled her up into a deep and passionate kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck, gasping for air as he broke their kiss just long enough to free himself and thrust deeply into her. He muffled his groan and her cry with another kiss as they fell into their familiar, beloved rhythm.

His sensitive ears picked up frantic knocking at the door. He growled, refusing to stop.

"Lord Sesshomaru?! LORD SESSHOMARU!!!"

He snarled and pressed his brow to hers. She shuddered and cried out breathlessly, tangling her fingers into his hair. She was like liquid pleasure around and against him. _Damn Jaken. I swear I'm going to kill that shrill little toad..._

"If we... Don't stop and answer him... He'll break the door down..." She breathed, moaning as he thrust harder into her.

"I'm going to take pleasure in tearing him apart..." He snarled through gritted teeth, throwing them into bliss with a last few forceful thrusts. Before she could cry out he captured her lips with his, kissing her with an aching depth, rending a low, beautiful sound of ecstasy from her. He smiled inwardly, promising himself that he would hear that sound again very soon. Slowly, not without some regret, he pulled from her, breaking their kiss. "Wait, Jaken. I will attend you momentarily." He said in an icy voice.

She leaned against him, trembling as he lowered her back to the ground. Her legs wouldn't hold her and her breath wouldn't return to her. "Sesshou..."

"I have you, Love..." He whispered, fixing both of their clothing, one arm holding her powerfully at her waist. He ached to have her back in their bed where he could hold and pet her until she fell from the height he'd sent her, but it was not to be. Who ever Jaken felt was important enough to interrupt them would scent exactly what had transpired between them and hopefully take the hint and leave quickly. If they didn't, he knew his temperament would become fickle and dangerous.

He carried her to the cushions and cradled her there, caressing her cheeks and throat softly. She could not stop trembling. Her eyes were half open, gazing at him dreamily and with deep love. He finally tore himself away from her beauty and looked to the door. "Now, Toad."

The door opened and he felt bile rise in his throat. Behind the diminutive youkai was a beautiful female inuyoukai with a crescent moon adorning her brow, much like his own. "Mother."

She nodded to him, smiling wickedly as she entered, closing the door on Jaken before he could follow. She scented the room and laughed. "Look how the cold Lord holds his conquest. Your father would be proud."

Kagome shuddered at her words, curling into his chest. He sheltered her, not enjoying his mother's tone. He'd known she was coming, but he'd hoped she would stay away until the night of the celebration. "Not a conquest. My mate."

"I wish to inspect her."

"What right do you have..."

"Until you chose to make this human girl the Lady of the Western lands, I still held that title. I wish to see the creature you chose to replace me."

He snarled, then calmed as he felt his mate's fingertips at his jaw. His mother sneered at this and cringed inwardly at the power such a weak girl could have over her strong son. He helped her stand, supporting her until she could hold her own weight. Satori stood as well, approaching Kagome, circling her slowly. She stopped in front of her, reaching out, tracing the crescent on the girl's brow. "Have you seen enough, Mother?" Her son asked in an icy voice.

"Hardly. Sit, Sesshomaru. I wish to ask your Lady some questions."

He growled but sat. It was better not to cross her in this matter. To Kagome's credit, she showed no fear and knew enough of respect that she diverted her eyes from Satori. Suddenly a clawed hand had her by the hair, pulling her down to her knees. The girl didn't even cry out.

"So. My son finds a miko girl who reeks of human weakness, makes her his mate, gives her a child and she loses it?"

"You go to far..."

"Silence pup." She snarled, forcing him back. She looked down at Kagome, making her look up at her. "Speak girl. You have only one chance with me."

She didn't tremble or waver. Her voice was calm and held as much danger as Satori's. The female youkai was already impressed with what she'd heard of her son's choice, but she had to make sure. She had to be certain. "Our child was murdered. Stolen from me by a woman I was too weak to realize wished us harm."

"Where is this woman now?"

"In my Lord's dungeons waiting death after the celebration of our union."

She knelt to her and stared at her levelly in the eyes. "Who will execute this woman? Will you leave it to your mate? Or another?"

She pulled from Satori's grasp, gripping her wrist and cutting her nails through the soft skin of her mate's mother. Satori snarled but didn't back away from her. A tear slipped down Kagome's cheek, but she would not look away. "I will."

"Kagome..." He was again silenced by his mother's hand. Her eyes never left the girl before her. She nodded softly to her and reached out, caressing Kagome's cheek with infinite tenderness.

"You must be strong always. Youkai will look at you and see a way to harm my son. They will see you as his only weakness and go after you. I see what he loves about you. There's a tenderness to you. A warmth and beauty that our kind loses within the first hundred years of life. Not because it isn't in our nature. But because in order to survive eternity we can only afford to love so much because we lose so much. He doesn't want you to take the life of this woman because he fears you will lose a part of yourself. I don't want you to either for the same reason."

"But I have to be the one..."

She nodded and as easily as she had forced Kagome to her knees, she embraced her, smoothing the girl's hair as she cried. She felt the girl's arms wrap around her as she sobbed. "You are strong, child. You are beautiful and strong and you will endure this. It will harm whom you are to take revenge, so don't take it. Make her death just, quick and with as little pain as you can."

She felt Kagome respond with a nod. Satori closed her eyes and cradled the miko against her gently. Sesshomaru watched in slight disbelief. He hadn't expected such a turn in his mother's attitude, but it made some sense. She had to be sure Kagome would be strong enough to survive eternity with him. She had to ensure that his mate could do what needed to be done or else there would be no respect for her or him. Still his heart ached for the simple statement. She would kill Kikyo. She would execute her. She had to. It was clear now that she had to as much as he wished she did not.

Kagome rested against Satori even after her tears stopped. She missed her mother and this woman, this inuyoukai had somehow slipped easily into that place in her heart. She could not replace her mother, but she could help ease her loneliness for her. Satori smiled at her, releasing her slowly, taking her gently by her shoulders and meeting her eyes. She leaned foreword and kissed the crescent on Kagome's brow. "You are my daughter now. I will teach you the ways of the youkai court and sit on your beloved's right side as you sit on his left. I trust you there and you must trust me as well."

Kagome nodded and met her eyes with warmth and tenderness. "What do I call you."

"I am Lady Satori in court and public. In private and with those of my son's inner circle, you may call me what you wish. Though I would prefer Mother." She said softly, brushing some of Kagome's dark hair from her face.

"Mother." She echoed, though a soft sob escaped her.

"You miss her."

"Yes."

Satori smiled sympathetically, hugging the girl again. "I will do what I can to help ease that pain, Kagome. I promise you."

She nodded and calmed slowly, finding her breath returning to her. Satori ran a clawed hand through her hair, breathing her in to fix her in her mind as her daughter. She memorized each nuance of her scent, closing her eyes as she found something completely unexpected. She was a human, but she'd healed as a youkai. Her aura was so intertwined with Sesshomaru's that this girl, this Kagome was as well as she had been before she'd lost the pup. It was almost as if it hadn't happened. Scenting her, it was as if it hadn't happened. She looked up to her son and met his gaze. He hadn't realized yet. Perhaps neither were ready to realize, but they had to.

She again took Kagome by her shoulders and smiled at her faintly. "I am going to tell you something and I need you to be strong, alright?" Kagome nodded, trembling faintly. Satori caressed her cheek to steady her. "In the last few moments, something changed in your scent. I don't know much about human fertility, but I do about youkai. If we ever miscarry, our bodies fight to return to fertility. Our energies are so tuned to giving life that they force our bodies back to the moment needed for conception as quickly as possible."

She saw the look on her son's face. There was a sudden realization and fear in his eyes. He moved to Kagome, gently taking her into his arms, breathing her in. Kagome's breathing quickened as she began to panic. Satori stood back. Once, long before this moment she'd known this scene. She'd been the frightened girl being held by her mate. Though, unlike then, her mate, Sesshomaru's father, hadn't loved her. She'd been so young. Her body wasn't ready to conceive and she'd miscarried their first child. They mourned together as only mates could. Even without love, it had been comforting. And then he had come into being within her before either of them could have been prepared. Her son had been conceived without either of them prepared for his existence. It had been like the grief was new all over again.

"I will leave you. But I will be near if I am needed." She said softly. Her son nodded as he tried to calm his mate. She ached for Sesshomaru, for the girl she'd accepted as her daughter. She hoped they could find joy sooner rather than later in what had transpired.

"Breathe, Love..." He whispered to her, holding her close. He sensed her moving her energies, touching the little life in her tenuously as she clung to him. Slowly her panting fell to sobs as he held her, rocking her gently. He felt wet heat on his cheeks, realizing he was crying. It was joy as well as pain that flooded his heart as he realized, scented what their quick but intense coupling had produced. He knew it would be soon, but he hadn't anticipated this soon. His mother's words echoed in his ears. _Our energies are so tuned to giving life that they force our bodies back to the moment needed for conception as quickly as possible. _He would have to ask her about where her knowledge came from. He was happy for it. Happy for her sudden and unexpected tenderness toward his mate. Happy for her presence.

Slowly she calmed and relaxed against him. She sat up in his embrace and gazed into his eyes, caressing his jaw, tracing the crescent on his brow with a kind of wonder that was startling at first. Her eyes were still sparkling with unshed tears, but there was little pain. Only joy. "I feel it... Clinging and knitting inside me... Its light only growing every second..." She guided his hand to her abdomen, focusing his awareness within her so he could sense what she sensed. He shuddered as more tears escaped him. She smiled and leaned to him, kissing away his tears.

"You never fail to make me happy or bring wonder to my life, Kagome..." He breathed softly, gently pulling her to him, kissing her tenderly.

"Our child knows us now... Knows we love it." She whispered, returning his kiss. "There will never be any question in its heart. There will never be any doubt."

"No, never." He echoed her, holding her tighter. He knew very certainly if Jaken were to interrupt them now, even though they were only holding one another, that he would rend the little green pest without thinking twice. He wanted no one to come near them as he held his mate, his Kagome, his sanctuary.


	8. Birth, Rebirth And Death

**_Rewritten. Not much, but rewritten. I always liked this chapter and see nothing wrong with it except for needed some editing and rewording in parts._**

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Though I'd like a ride on the puppy-boy's back someday. If only in my dreams.**_

_**Ivy**_

**Chapter seven;**

**Birth, rebirth and death**

He stood near the stream on the northern side where the temple his brother had built for Kagome stood. For an hour he'd knelt in the temple gazing at the tiny urn that was in the inner shrine. He'd begged forgiveness from the child that never was. Begged because he knew that he was the cause ultimately for its death. It went further than him bringing its murderer to the palace or him choosing Kikyo over Kagome. It went back to when he was pinned to the great tree and then while they had been traveling together. He hated himself for never seeing her. If he had, the child she lost would have been his and it would have lived.

He doubted he would ever love anyone as he loved Kagome, but he would try for her. And he would return to his true self in order to protect her. _Always and only for her._

He knelt down on the ground and looked at his human reflection in the moving water. He focused, finding his youkai blood and energy simmering within him, aching to be set free. He reached out and broke the seal on his soul placed there by the Shikon no Tama. A charge of power rushed through him, sending agony in its wake. He cried out, gasping for breath, watching his reflection in the water.

A short distance away, the little girl Rin watched the man she'd come to know as Inuyasha transform. The black of his hair melted away from root to the long tips and his dark brown eyes swirled away, revealing their dark golden countenance. He cried out and shuddered as two puppy ears formed at the crown of his head. He drew up his hands and gazed at them as claws formed in place of his nails. Small fangs formed in his mouth. By the end of his transformation, he was left panting on the ground, fighting collapse by bracing his hands in the muddy bank of the stream.

She squealed suddenly as someone grabbed her from behind, covering her mouth to silence her. "It's me, Kid."

She knew the voice of her playmate. Shippo. She smiled where he held her mouth and licked his hand, giggling when he cursed.

"That's gross." He growled, but crouched down with her, watching Inuyasha where he still was, composing himself after his transformation. "So. Looks like old puppy ears decided he didn't like being mortal."

"Why wouldn't he?" Rin asked softly, frowning. "Kagome and me are humans and I'm mortal."

Shippo smiled faintly. "Inuyasha wasn't born human, Rin. It isn't who he is. He's finally figured that out."

"How do you know that?"

"Cause I know him." Now in his more adult form he felt that his wisdom was better represented. He'd always been a good observer. It had taken some maturity to grasp the nuances of adults, and now he understood completely. Even with a lack of experience, he understood.

"That's not a reason."

"Ask me when you're older, Kid."

She stuck her tongue out at him and he chuckled, and then turned his eyes back to Inuyasha. He saw red and yelped as he was pulled up by his shoulder by the tall hanyo before him. Rin jumped back, her eyes wide.

"You know, it ain't nice to eavesdrop."

"You know, I keep hearing that. Not just from you lately." He gave Inuyasha a toothy grin.

"Cough up my stuff, Kitsune. I know you hid it with the help of that little waif hiding behind your tail."

"Stuff? What stuff?"

"I smelled you all over my room. Both of you. Now where are my things?"

Rin giggled, then gasped as Inuyasha snarled at her. "You think it's funny to hide people's things?"

"Only your things..." Shippo said, yelping again as Inuyasha hit him over the head. "Oh, come on!"

"Where. Are. My. Things."

The kitsune sighed and sat down with Rin hiding behind his rather well filled out torso. "They're hidden in the kitchen. Ask cook. She'll give them back to you. Jeez, Inuyasha. You're no fun any more."

Inuyasha sighed and shook his head. He was upset and riled by what had happened between his brother, Kagome and himself earlier that day. He was still upset about Kikyo and Kagome losing her baby. He wouldn't be fun for a while. "I'm sorry, Shippo. There's just a lot happening."

_Inuyasha's sorry? Wow... Maybe I should have waited on the tricks._ "Its ok, Inuyasha... I guess I just hadn't really thought it all out."

"Its ok, kit. Just make sure my stuff's back in my room before dinner and I'll let it go. I need some time to myself."

Shippo nodded and stood. Rin was still hiding behind him, which made him smile faintly. He spun and grabbed the little girl, tossing her over his shoulder. She giggled and screamed.

"Put me down!"

"Nope. Let's give the big bad hanyo his space." He walked off with the girl looking back at Inuyasha.

Inuyasha smirked and turned, taking a walk through the gardens. At least someone was happy.

------

It was getting close to evening. Still no Kouga or Inuyasha to plague her door. _Excellent. It means I have time. _She focused her energies on her shackles. As she learned the whole of it with her second sight she found the locking mechanism. _This won't be pleasant._ She thought, and then focused on it as she would an arrow. She charged it, and then threw her wrist against the stone wall as hard as she could. A bolt of pain went through her arm, but nothing was broken, thankfully. She smiled ruefully and opened the shackle, letting it fall. _One down. Three to go. _

------

She caressed the ornate katana that Satori had given to her only moments before. The scabbard was carved with leaves and vines, as was the base of the hilt. She met the female youkai's eyes. "What is it for?"

"For you. It was the gift Sesshomaru's father gave to me when he mated me and made me Lady of the Western Lands. In turn, it was also his mother's. Now it is yours."

Her hands trembled. Sesshomaru had been banished from the courtyard by his mother, saying she needed to speak with Kagome. He hadn't fought so much as given one of his pitiful, put upon looks that made her heart melt. "I don't know what to say."

"Say nothing. It is your right and place to have it. And when your son takes a mate, it will go to her when he takes Sesshomaru's place."

"I will have to write a note for him in that case."

She sighed and nodded. The girl would join her mate upon the moment of his death. There was no way around it, but still Satori found some comfort that her son was indeed so happy. "It is still yours. And if I am still around when that day comes I will ensure it gets to the right person, I promise you."

She nodded and trembled faintly.

"You do know how to use it, don't you?"

She shook her head. "I know how to shoot a bow and arrow and wield a dagger. That's about it."

Satori tisked. "I will have to teach you then. She is a fine sword."

"She? Does she have a name?"

"No. She was not named as your beloved's swords were. It is not the custom to name Lady's swords. More it was originally intended to be an ornamental piece."

"Why do I think you changed that tradition?"

Satori chuckled. "Because, my dear, I did. In the beginning of my Lord's reign, I fought beside him. My father had ensured that I could perform the duties of wife and mother as well as protector to the Lord of the Western Lands whom I had been betrothed to from birth."

"When will you begin teaching me, then?"

"After the pup you carry now is birthed. It will be a while yet. I do not want to endanger the child even though it seems this time you carry you are stronger by far than the first."

She nodded sadly and Satori reached out, caressing her jaw. "I'm alright... It's just so fresh."

"I know, Kagome. I have been in a similar place."

"I... When?"

"Shortly before your beloved was sired in me. I was so young, you see. My body wasn't ready for a pup or at least not prepared. I miscarried within the first two months. We grieved together. The healers explained what had happened and so we did not expect me to carry again for several years. Within a month I was carrying your Lord, my son, and with far greater strength than I had the first. The healers could only say that my body had accepted the fact that I would be mothering pups and so allowed it much sooner."

"Why did you not have any other children after Sesshou?"

_Sesshou... _ She couldn't help but smile. "Why do you call him by that name?"

She shrugged. "It seemed as good a name as any. Sesshomaru is too formal for private."

"Ahh, I see. To answer your question, we decided we did not want to. My Lord and I did not love each other, you see. It was a marriage of convenience and friendship. Though I stood by his side and we both loved our son dearly, neither of us was too taken with the other. We set each other free, or as free as we could be and still remain Lord and Lady of the Western Lands."

"What did you do when Inuyasha was sired?"

She sighed. "I hated him. It was one thing for my Lord to bed other female youkai who gave them selves freely and without thought of ever taking my place. He never loved them as I never loved any of the rogues I took to my bed with frequency. It was another thing for him to take a human woman who he loved and whom I knew he would gladly replace me with if there were a way to do so. When we mate, it is for life. Sesshomaru's father wasn't willing to murder his mate to take a human into my place. Still I hated her and him and the child they created together. I hated him because he had found something that had eluded me and us together. He'd found love and happiness and I envied him."

"Did you ever forgive him?"

"Inquisitive little thing, aren't you?" She teased. She didn't mind such an inquisitive mind in the mate of her son. It was part of the reason, she was certain, that he loved this Kagome so deeply. She was intelligent, brave and strong as well as warm and pure. "I forgave him after a very long time. Part of me still resents that the symbol of his love with a mortal woman remains to this day and that Inuyasha brings my son so much pain and frustration... But I forgave his father. I didn't love him, but he had always been a good friend and an understanding mate. I felt I owed him for the happiness he gave me, as fleeting as it was."

Kagome smiled and hugged Satori gently. She was smiling, realizing that this knowledge had never been brought to her lover's ears. "You should tell your son about his father's love for him and yours, Satori. He needs to hear it. It would give his heart some ease."

She chuckled and hugged Kagome tightly. "I will take your advice, Kagome. It is time he and I have a real conversation about it all."

"If the two of you do not mind, it is time for us to go down to dinner." Came the voice of Sesshomaru from the door of his room. He smiled, watching them stand together. He'd scolded Shippo about eavesdropping, but he was no better. He'd heard everything, though he'd never let on he did.

They joined him and began walking back to the dining hall. He held his mate's arm in his, smiling as she leaned slightly against him as they walked. His mother was ahead of them, smiling softly though they could not see it. Once there, they settled in their places with the other guests. Sesshomaru noticed his brother's appearance and smirked. _Couldn't wait, could you, brother. I don't blame you._

He watched Kagome's response. There was slight shock, but it faded back as she sat down, relaxing when she felt her mate's hand on her leg under the table. Dinner was quiet and enjoyable except for Shippo and Rin who insisted on flicking rice at each other across the table. He cleared his throat.

"Rin." He said softly. She stopped and looked to him with a few flecks of white in her dark hair.

"He started it!"

"You finish it." He said softly, giving her a scolding look.

She sighed and Shippo gave a triumphant look to her. Kagome raised a hand quickly, deftly and grabbed him by his ear. The boy yelped and frowned, rubbing his sore cartilage.

"Mom!"

"You didn't win and you certainly _aren't_ ten, Shippo." She said without even looking at the kitsune who looked rather appalled and unhappy at her chiding. "Or would you prefer that we have a table set up for the two of you in the kitchen where the children eat?"

"No." Shippo scowled. Sesshomaru couldn't help but allow the faintest smile to creep onto his lips. He continued his dinner, noting his mother as she picked the pieces of rice from his daughter's hair with a sour look.

As their first course was finished, there was a sudden surge of pure energy from outside the door to the dining hall. He stood quickly and pushed Kagome behind him just as the door opened revealing Kikyo with a squirming bundle in her arms.

"You know how easy it is to move around a castle when you're carrying a child who has the Lord's protection?" She asked darkly, her eyes alight with her power. "Too damned easy." She was holding a dagger to the child's form. It let out a cry of unhappiness.

"Kagome!" Sango cried out, standing to rush to her daughter. Miroku caught her as the dagger ebbed closer to the child's throat.

"Tisk tisk, Sango. You know it was a poor idea to name this child after a woman who insists on becoming a martyr. Sentimentality is like welcoming fate to bring you pain."

"Put their daughter down now, Kikyo." Inuyasha said, standing slowly, his eyes fiery on his mate. "You've done enough killing of innocents and causing pain."

"Have I? Have I really?" She asked cruelly, finding Kagome with her eyes. "I don't think I have because she's still breathing. I gave you a chance to regain your honor, Kagome. You've turned your back on what you are. Humans, normal humans, can sully themselves with youkai blood, but not us. Not mikos. You steal Inuyasha from me and then don't even want him? You run back to your youkai Lord and make yourself a whore again?"

"That is enough!" She surprised them with the strength of her voice. She stepped from behind her mate. She did not tremble. No fear rested in her voice or features. She kept her distance from the dark miko before her. Once she'd been her incarnation... How could there be so much difference between them? "I am so tired of this, Kikyo. So very, very tired of it. It isn't even about sacrificing my home and my family for you. It isn't about you trying to kill me again and again and again. This is simply about you. You aren't evil, Kikyo. I've seen evil. I've stared it down and trembled in its wake. I've been overwhelmed by it, saved from it and fought it out of my soul more times than I care to count. You aren't evil, Kikyo. You're just unworthy."

"Do you want another death that's your fault, Kagome. Stay back!"

"I haven't even moved. You are so sad. So pitiful you make me sick." She said, her voice soft and dangerous. The room was silent, transfixed by her voice and gaze at the dark miko who held the child hostage. "I've never given up on anyone. Not when I saw something good in them. Not when I knew they had the potential to become something great. But you've forced me to break my own rules, Kikyo, and I honestly hate you for it."

"Are you trying to kill me with words?"

"No." She thrust out her hand, her form glowing with white light. Kikyo screamed and fell to her knees. Inuyasha and Kouga were on her before she could harm the child. The baby cooed in the hanyo's arms as Kouga held Kikyo's body up. From her charkas was pulled the energies of her soul, drawn to Kagome in a magenta ball of light. Kikyo looked on in terror as her very soul was held in mid air. Kagome stepped forward, circling the soul. Her eyes were pained and dark with disappointment. She looked to Kikyo with a kind of hatred she'd never felt in herself before. "I suppose you're wondering how I did this, Kikyo. Let me remind you that it was my wish, my energies that birthed this soul for you with the help of the Shikon no Tama. I gave you your life back, but I have always been in control of how long that life would continue."

Kikyo looked at her in pure terror as the realization overwhelmed her. "That's why... My powers..."

"You catch on so fast sometimes, you know that? The soul I made for you came from me, was birthed from me and so, even though it was a new soul, it shared my abilities and the slightest strand of light to me. The thing is, until you murdered my child, I didn't even realize it."

"You won't... You won't do this."

Kouga watched Kagome's eyes as did Inuyasha. There was so much pain in her, so much anger. For an instant, she wasn't the woman they knew, but then her eyes flashed back. She shook her head and stepped back, looking at the ball of light that had slowly shed the magenta of the miko powers. She sighed and caressed it gently, cradling it in her hands. "No. I won't take my revenge on you, Kikyo. At least not on this soul I made for you. It doesn't deserve what you've brought on it. I'm going to free it to find another life, another body to house it. It doesn't deserve to be hated. It wasn't its fault that it was attached to such a vile creature as you."

"If you free it, I'll fade away. I'll die. You'll have killed me." She was grasping at straws, fighting for life.

Kagome scowled and looked at Kikyo. "I won't have killed you, Kikyo. You can't kill what's been dead for so long. That flesh I created for you, this soul I made for you... They aren't you. They became the housing for your warped spirit that should have been dragged down to hell five years ago." She turned her attention again to the white ball of energy in her palms. She kissed it and let it float upward. "You can go now, little one. Go and find peace."

The soul rose and flashed away before their eyes. Kagome turned her back on Kikyo and walked to her mate's side. "No! You can't do this!" The miko cried out, fighting against Kouga. "You can't!"

"Struggling will only make it quicker, Kikyo. Make peace with yourself and let go." Sesshomaru took his mate in his arms gently, kissing the crescent on her brow fervently. She rested her head on his chest, holding to him, waiting for Kikyo to pass.

Kikyo began to shake in Kouga's grasp, gasping for air. Inuyasha watched, handing Sango her daughter. He felt a pull away from himself, but fought it. "You swore!" She choked, looking up at him. "You said you'd come with me!"

His eyes widened and he stepped back. She was calling him on his promise and yet he didn't want to follow through. "Kikyo..."

"Inuyasha, turn from her." His voice was stern, fatherly. Sesshomaru captured his brother's gaze. "Turn from her and walk away."

"I gave my word..."

"An honorable word captured through dishonorable means is nothing. Turn away."

She looked up at her mate, trembling. He was protecting Inuyasha, not for her, but for the sake of his brother. Kagome held to him tighter, her aura flooding with pride.

Inuyasha looked undecided. He trembled visibly. "Inuyasha!" His brother barked, shocking him into attention. "Turn away. Let her go and forfeit the lie she bound you to."

He met Sesshomaru's eyes and saw genuine care in his gaze. _My brother cares about me? Me? He wanted me dead for years... What's changed_?"You'd be rid of me, Sesshomaru... Why care?"

The taiyoukai Lord smirked. "Just do it, mutt. Don't question me again."

He smirked and did as his brother ordered, returning to his seat. Kouga dropped Kikyo to the floor unceremoniously and also returned to his seat.

"No!" She cried out, shaking violently once more before fading away entirely.

Rin was shaking, beginning to sob. Shippo put his arms out to her. "Come on kid." He said gently and she rushed around the table to him, hiding her face in his chest. He pet her hair gently, trying to calm and comfort her. "It's ok, Rin."

A group of guards came and took Kikyo away as dinner dissolved for that evening. Kagome knelt beside Rin and Shippo, gently touching the girl's hair. She sobbed and turned, crawling into Kagome's arms.

"Mama, why'd she do that?" Kagome hadn't expected the word to come so easily for Rin, but it had. She held the girl in her arms, tightly, rocking her gently.

"Shhh... Sweetheart, I hope you never understand why. I hope I never understand why."

She sniffed and nodded, trembling. Sesshomaru watched them and smiled faintly, then looked to his guests. He had no fear that the youkai that were in attendance would forget what they had seen. Kagome had carried herself well and instilled fear in them. He had seen it growing in their faces. Little by little the story of the evening would make its way through the whole of the youkai court, which was exactly what needed to happen. In an evening, their celebration would occur and his union with Kagome would be final and accepted. Their fear of her would instill respect and she would not be seen as a weakness. Once all of that had been established, and only then would he be able to cease his worrying for her safety by his side.

------

He snarled and frowned. "You always steal my last dumpling. It is as if you sit in wait for me to end my meal and then take the last bite."

"You should stop leaving a dumpling for your last bite then, Sesshou. I would not be so tempted." She murmured, glowing.

He fought back his smile, trying to act stern. It was hard when he knew very well that doing so brought her delight and that his last bite was feeding both his love and their child. "You are teaching Rin and Shippo bad habits."

"No." She chuckled and curled against him lightly. She felt him melt slightly. "They taught me."

"Ahh, I will have to have a talk with them, pretty mate. I can't have you learning bad habits either." He wrapped an arm around her gently, kissing the crown of her head.

"Don't be too hard on them. I'm very impressionable, you know."

"Oh yes, very. Your will is by far too pliant."

She laughed and crawled into his lap. They had put together a picnic in the garden for that day and were enjoying watching Rin playing with the newly walking baby Kagome while Shippo trained with Inuyasha and Kouga. Miroku and Sango were curled on a blanket napping in the warm sunshine, relying on Kaede and Rin to watch their child. The monk and youkai slayer had made a point of visiting in the last few months of Kagome's pregnancy. Their home was a couple of weeks away and so when they came for a visit, they usually stayed a month or more to make the trip worthwhile. Kaede had taken up residency with them in her infirmity, enjoying playing grandma to baby Kagome.

Sesshomaru smiled and looked down at his mate. Her belly was large with their child. It would be soon that she would give birth and his nerves were on edge. So were the nerves of their adoptive son and her two protectors. Since Kouga and Inuyasha had taken up residency in his palace with Kouga's wolf tribe inhabiting the nearby mountain range, the wolf youkai and his brother had become unofficial bodyguards to his mate when he had to go away on diplomatic endeavors or to quell uprisings and invasions. They did not happen all that often. With Kouga's wolf tribe patrolling and the stories of the great Lord and his icy cruelty there were little difficulties to be had.

She whimpered slightly and lay back, suddenly uncomfortable. She gently tapped her fingers on her distended abdomen and sighed. "Sesshou..."

She barely had to ask and he knew what she wanted. He lay back, lending his chest and abdomen to her as a pillow and prop. He ran his fingers through her hair to soothe her as much as she could be soothed. He had found this position for her was most comfortable while awake, though not the most lordly. In the night she would lay on her side with her leg and arm thrown over his body. Also not the lordliest but he couldn't have cared less. She was comfortable, or as comfortable as she could be in the moment. She was only against him for a moment before she began shifting again. "Are you alright, Lady?"

She whimpered again, trying her side, then her back again. She was almost driven to tears by her discomfort. "I just want to rest..."

He sat up, cradling her, hoping that it might help. She pushed away from him. "No... I don't want to be touched..."

He frowned and watched her trying to find a way to lay down but in such a way that she would be comfortable. She began to cry. "Kagome... Is there anything I can do?"

She sobbed and covered her face. "Hold me..."

"But you just told me..."

"Damn what I told you!"

His frown deepened as he moved again to her side to hold her. Inuyasha looked over from where he was watching Kouga spar with Shippo. His brow creased in concern.

"What is it, Inuyasha?" Shippo asked, his attention diverted momentarily. Kouga got in an easy hit and then jumped back laughing. "Hey!"

"You are too easily distracted." Kouga replied, walking over to where Inuyasha sat. "What's the matter, brother?"

He nodded over to where Kagome was crying, being comforted by her mate. "She just broke down all of the sudden. She's been doing that more often lately."

"Isn't it natural though for a woman close to birthing her pup?"

"I ain't a father and neither are you, Kouga."

Kouga shrugged and chuckled. "Maybe someday though."

"Still... She's got me worried."

"Got us all worried, Inuyasha." Shippo said softly, his eyes trained on his mother.

Kaede turned her attention to Kagome. The old woman frowned which did not escape the notice of the three men watching or the man who was so diligently trying to comfort his mate. She hobbled to Kagome and touched her brow. "When did it start?" She asked the girl softly.

"After she ate..."

"I did not ask ye, Lord Sesshomaru. Put her down and go get your mother." She met Kagome's eyes, her own aged gaze calm and warm. "Now, Kagome. When did it start?"

He put her down reluctantly, frowning and watching their interplay. _When did what start?_

She whimpered and curled against Kaede. "This morning."

"Why did ye not say something sooner?"

"Thought I was just restless..."

The old woman just shook her head, then gave a scowl to Sesshomaru. "Make yourself useful and go and get your mother, Lord of the Western Lands."

He jumped back, taking in what was going on, then turned and strode toward the palace with intent. Sango rose, moving to Kagome's side as well. "Miroku, take care of our daughter."

Miroku nodded and scooped up baby Kagome. "Come little girl. Rin, let's go to the interior gardens to play."

"What's wrong with Mama?"

"Nothing, Rin. She'll be fine. Come along, I still haven't seen all of the flowers."

Inuyasha approached cautiously with Shippo and Kouga once Rin had left with baby Kagome and Miroku. "What's going on, old woman?"

"Ye need to keep your distance. If any of ye want to be helpful, ye will go and have the servants prepare the birthing room for Kagome." Her words stopped them dead in their tracks, causing the old woman to chuckle. "Well, go!"

They were frozen a moment longer before rushing off toward the palace as well. Sango kissed her friend's cheek gently. "Come on, Kagome. Stand and we'll begin walking back."

"I don't know if I can make it walking..."

"It helps sometimes. It did with me." She murmured and Kagome nodded, standing with Sango and Kaede's help.

"Have your pains begun, Kagome?" Kaede asked as they made their slow trek back.

She shook her head faintly. "I'm just restless and so weak..."

"Shhhh, Kagome. It will be alright." Sango whispered helping bear her friend's weight a bit more.

As they made it to the crest of the hill, Sesshomaru and Satori came running to meet them. Satori moved to her daughter, cupping her face gently in her hands. "How is my daughter?"

"Tired..." She breathed, then doubled over and cried out sharply. Sesshomaru was with her instantly, keeping her from falling to her knees. "Sesshou..." She gasped once the pain had passed.

He smoothed her hair and kissed her gently. "Breathe, Love. You are safe and protected."

"Carry her to the birthing room. She will not make it in time walking." Satori said softly, placing a gentle hand on her son.

He nodded and gathered his mate into his arms, carrying her to the birthing room that had been set up for her. It was the room she'd originally inhabited across his private courtyard. He laid her down, smoothing her hair.

"Ye need to leave her to us, Lord Sesshomaru." Kaede said with conviction. He growled in response. "Don't ye growl at me, pup. Go out with the other men and leave your mate to us. She will be well."

"Do as she says, Sesshomaru. This is not the place for a man, not even a father to be. Go." Satori said softly, meeting his eyes. He looked defeated and went into the courtyard where Inuyasha, Kouga and Shippo already waited. Satori shook her head and sighed, helping to undress Kagome and slip her into a shift. "There, daughter. Do you want more pillows?"

"No, I'm alright... The pains stopped... Maybe I'm alright now..."

"Kagome, you're in labor." Sango said softly, beginning to rub her friend's feet gently.

"It was only one pain... Maybe I just ate too much... Oh..." She gasped and cried out, her water flooding into the bedding. Her eyes widened with shock, then she curled onto her side, moaning in agony. "Kami..."

Sango moved behind her, laying her on her back, becoming her friend's support as the pains began to hit regularly. "Breathe, Kagome."

"Sesshou!" She cried out, gripping the bedding beneath her as another pain hit her hard.

He stood and moved toward the room without thinking. He'd heard her call for him and he would go to her. Inuyasha and Kouga held him back, issuing a growl and curse from him. "My mate called me..."

"You've been ordered out here for a reason, Sesshomaru." Kouga said sharply, bringing him back to his senses.

"She needs you calm and you can't be calm with her in agony." His brother said. He snarled again, but returned to his seat, worrying the fine grass beneath him.

Hours passed, Kagome's cries becoming more frequent but also weaker. Satori looked on her daughter with worry as she watched her strength drain with every passing pain. She continued to wipe her down with cool water as Sango found pressure points in her hands and head to help her relax. Giving birth to Sesshomaru had taken only a fraction of the time it was taking Kagome to birth her son's heir.

"I need... I need to stand..." She gasped, shaking with fatigue.

"Kagome, you're too weak..." Satori began, but Sango shook her head.

"The pull on the child will help her, Lady Satori. Come, Kagome. I will help you walk." Kagome nodded and stood with the help of Sango. Kaede sat back, watching the youkai slayer guide Kagome around the room several times, supporting most of the girl's weight. As a pain would come Sango would support her against the wall until it would pass. Though her breaths were ragged, her cries died down to whimpers and soft moans.

Sesshomaru began pacing. Three sets of eyes watched him, feeling the same anxiety. "You should sit. Killing the grass with pacing won't make it better."

"I know, Inuyasha. I can't sit still. She has stopped crying out but there are no cries of my pup. I can't sit still or I'll go mad."

"If something were wrong, you'd hear a lot more than silence, brother. You know Kagome. If something were wrong, there wouldn't be silence."

He nodded and sighed, but didn't stop pacing. He couldn't stop moving or he'd start thinking of all the things that could have happened.

Kagome started to pant as Sango held her up. She couldn't take another step but standing made the pains easier to bear so the four women had positioned themselves against a wall.

"Ye will need to push now, child. As hard as ye can." Kaede said softly, readying a soft blanket to catch the child as it was birthed.

"Are you ready, Kagome?" Sango breathed in her ear. When she nodded, her friend kissed her temple. "Push with the next pain, sister."

Satori sat near, ready with water, bandages and herbs. She hadn't realized Kagome was so strong until now. Nor how strong humans really were, primarily the women. Kaede had assured her this was a normal delivery. It was abnormal for youkai. Had she taken this long to birth her son, healers would have cut him from her in fear that she would die before she'd given birth.

The next pain came and she watched as Kagome bore down, crying out breathlessly. The healer supported the child as it was pushed from its mother. The next pain came and she bore down again, pushing the child and afterbirth free. She went limp in Sango's arms as Satori administered a pack and Kaede tended the newborn. Sango lay Kagome down, waiting tensely for the child to cry out. The elderly miko cleared the baby's mouth and rubbed its back until it coughed up the last of the fluid in its lungs and wailed miserably.

There was a collective sigh of relief in the courtyard and birthing room at that sound. Kagome watched with sleepy eyes as her child's chord was cut and then the baby was swaddled. Satori was handed the baby and she perched on the bed beside her daughter, helping Kagome take the child. "Your son, Lady."

She trembled and took the tiny bundle in her exhausted arms. She looked down at the fussing new born. Startling golden eyes stared back at her from a frame of jet hair. She sobbed softly, holding the boy tightly to her. "Hello little one... We've waited for you so long." The boy calmed once he was in his mother's arms. He cooed, searching out nourishment. With Sango and Satori's help, she fed him, tracing the features of his tiny face with her delicate fingertips.

Sesshomaru paced closer to the door, looking anxious and fretful. _Let me in. I want to see my child Now._ He thought at the door. Finally the old woman opened the door to the birthing room. He rushed in to Kagome's side, finding her curled around their child, having been redressed in a sleeping gown and robe. He sniffed the child who looked at him with curious, brilliant eyes.

"Our son, Sesshou." She breathed, glowing as she watched him examining their child. He breathed in his new scent, memorizing it, smiling. "He needs a name."

He looked up and smiled to her, running a hand through her long hair. "Souta, unless you had a better idea."

She trembled and leaned into his touch. Tears fell from her eyes and she nodded. "Souta is a perfect name for him."

He kissed her tenderly, then gathered them both carefully in his arms. He nodded to those in the courtyard before returning to their room. Shippo almost darted over to meet the baby, but Inuyasha stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "Not yet, Shippo. His instincts are keen on protecting them. You'd be lucky if he didn't kill you on reflex." He said evenly and calmly. "We'll meet the child in time. Just got to be patient."

"Ok, who are you and what did you do with Inuyasha?" Shippo teased. Inuyasha only smiled.

He laid her in their bed, disrobing and joining them. He watched them, seeing the peace in his son's face and the joy in his mate. "He is perfect." The crescent moon was pale on his brow, but it was appearing slowly. By the time he was a week old, it would be the same deep blue as his father's.

"Somehow I expected him to have puppy ears like Inuyasha..."

"He is a hanyo, but only those who are looking for it could tell. Inuyasha has those traits because his mother and our father were not bonded." She smiled faintly and met his eyes. He returned her smile with a kiss. "He is perfect, Love. He'd be perfect no matter what.'

She sighed and caressed his face gently. She looked exhausted, ready to pass out. "Can I still steal your dumplings, Sesshou?" She asked in a sleepy voice, her consciousness slipping into dreams.

He chuckled and cradled them both gently. "Always. Sleep, Love. I will be here when you wake."


	9. Learning To Crawl

**_Rewritten because it has some grammar problems. The grammar monkey is having a fit. He doesn't like bananas. He likes red pens. I am odd._**

**_I do not own Inuyasha. I would love to, but I didn't come up with the world and so I cannot. None of the characters are mine for that reason… Oh well._**

Ivy

**Chapter eight;**

Learning to crawl 

Everything about Souta brought her wonder. When he was newly born and she'd heard his cries, then held him, cradled and comforted him with Kagome watching them carefully, she'd instantly decided he was the most wonderful baby in the world and hoped someday she'd have a child just like him. When she told Kagome as much, she'd smiled a strange smile and kissed her head softly but said nothing.

She had only just turned thirteen. Her age seemed to have surprised Shippo. It was her innocence, which many had commented on before, that made her suppose his mistake in her age. It didn't bother her, though. It amused her. Sesshomaru had presented her with a beautiful hair comb made of a white bone he had called ivory. Kagome had helped her with the comb, pulling her hair back in a fairly mature style. She leaned foreword and kissed her cheek. "There. Beautiful girl become woman."

She blushed and smiled, looking to her mother. "Why do you say that, Mama?"

"Because that is what you are." She replied simply. Kagome had commissioned a new set of kimonos for her, all of which fit her blossoming form better than those she had now. The one she wore now actually did her more justice. She still had the innocence of a girl, but she looked closer to a woman than before. Both woman and girl turned when they heard the happy cooing of Souta on the bed. They glowed and laughed as he pushed himself up on his knees and hands, rocking softly. Kagome sighed. "Soon he'll be crawling and then walking and soon after be as much trouble as his father."

"Father is trouble?" Rin asked softly, leaning her head against Kagome's shoulder.

"Yes, most men are, sweetheart. You'll learn more about that when you get a bit older." She stood and lay next to Souta, gently caressing his back. He giggled and cooed at his mother.

Rin felt her heart race with delight. Of late she'd found herself more easily overwhelmed with emotions and confused by them. Particularly while she was around Souta and, oddly, when she was around Shippo. "Do you... Do you think I look alright for the party, Mama?"

Kagome looked at her, smiling with infinite warmth. "I think you look beautiful, Rin. And I'm sure your father will think so as well as everyone else when they see you."

"I hardly recognize myself." She murmured, blushing deeply. Only a few weeks before, she'd bled for the first time. She thought she was dying. Satori had scented it before Sesshomaru and had alerted Kagome and Kaede. A few tearful hours later she'd calmed and accepted her fate. She wasn't a child any more.

"Most won't at first either. But who you see is you, Rin. And you are beautiful, innocent and sweet. That person just happens to be a woman now."

She nodded and sighed, looking down at her small, slender hands. She thought back on her parents and how much she'd missed them even to the current moment. Though if they had never passed, she'd never have met Sesshomaru or Kagome. Fate had a way of making things turn as they should even if the path was painful and fraught with dangers. "When will we go then?"

"In a short while, once Souta's nanny comes to tend him. I asked her to be here within the hour. Are you nervous?"

"Yes... Father has made such a big deal about my birthday. He never has before."

She smiled and sighed, knowing full well why her Sesshou was being so extravagant. It was mostly because of his more jovial mood but also because he fully intended to introduce her to youkai society. It was a show of power, reinforcing that she was his daughter, as much his blood as Souta, no matter that she was human. The star he'd stained on her brow would be permanently visible and rather than doing this in private with only his family around as he would have had he not been the Lord of the Western lands, he wished to do so in front of the whole court so there would never be any question. It was as much a celebration of her birthday as it was a statement and proclamation as to his final intentions concerning the girl he'd saved and made family.

When the nanny arrived, Kagome stood and went to the mirror. She finished her final touches on herself and Rin, then took her daughter's hand. "Come on now. Don't be afraid. There will be a lot of people you don't know, but it will be worth seeing those you do and who love you."

"How can you be so calm?" She asked in a frightened voice as they walked out into the hallway and headed toward the great hall where a whole host, including the Lord of the castle, waited for them.

She kissed Rin's hand and squeezed it, winking to her. "Because I know something you don't yet."

"What's that?"

"There aren't words for it, Rin. You'll understand when you find the man you are meant to be with. It is the knowledge that no matter what anyone else sees or thinks that in his eyes you are perfect and utterly incapable of doing any wrong or forfeiting his love coupled with the feeling of complete safety. There's no way to adequately describe that feeling and I would do a great injustice if I tried. But you will understand the day you realize it."

She nodded, really not understanding what she meant, but trying not to considering what her mother had said. When they reached the doors, Kagome felt her hand shake. She squeezed Rin's hand again before releasing her. "Ready, Little One?"

Rin smiled at Kagome using Sesshomaru's name for her. It gave her some strength. "Yes. Can I stay by you at first?"

"Yes. And even when you aren't know that I will be watching you all night in case you need sanctuary by my side again, alright?"

She nodded and walked in beside her mother. The room was busy and hectic with people eating from trays that were being brought around to them and the din of conversation. Sesshomaru could sense his mate and daughter as they entered and smiled from where he sat at the far end of the room with his mother seated to his right.

At first no one noticed them. Sesshomaru watched as the three men in the corner caught sight of them first. It did not surprise him that his brother, adoptive son and wolven ally saw the two women first. Kagome always drew their eyes like moths to a beautiful flame. He couldn't help but smile faintly as their jaws dropped suddenly upon seeing his Rin. She was a woman and it was painfully obvious to him that in only a few years he would lose her to some youkai or human man who caught her attention and heart.

The crowd quieted slowly as the two women approached the Lord of the Western lands. Kagome bowed to him and took her seat beside him. He took her hand gently, ignoring any repercussions from such a blatant show of love for her, and caressed her palm. The whole court knew not to harm her or see her as a weakness or weak. If they hadn't heard of how she'd dispatched the dark miko Kikyo, how she conducted herself during court and the very visible respect and affection that Satori showed to her was enough to instill begrudging respect for his human mate.

Rin knelt before him, fighting the shudder that was threatening to rush through her. "Lord Sesshomaru, protector of the Western lands, your ward comes for your blessing." She said as loud as she was able to manage without a quake in her voice.

Shippo watched her from where he stood next to Inuyasha. The kitsune was enrapt with the woman his adoptive sister had become. Inuyasha nudged Kouga and nodded toward the young youkai that was gawking so visibly. Kouga shook his head and stepped foreword, whispering in Shippo's ear. "You have some drool on your chin, kid."

Shippo startled slightly and then scowled at Kouga. "She's my sister." He whispered back.

Kouga shook his head and shrugged looking to Inuyasha. "I think he's gonna regret that statement someday." The half youkai said in the faintest whisper, his face amused.

"Shut. Up." Shippo snarled, trying to keep his voice quiet as he watched the girl... The woman before him that only a year before he'd throw over his shoulder unceremoniously when she annoyed him or she'd persist past what was reasonable. The girl he'd always called "kid" rather than uttering her name. The girl he'd cultivated mischief and wickedness in so that he'd always have a play mate. He scowled as he realized he already regretted so emphatically insisting she was his sister.

Sesshomaru stood and walked to her. "Rise, Rin. Receive my blessing and henceforth be called daughter."

Rin stood, though she maintained the diversion of her eyes until Sesshomaru tilted her head upward by barely touching her chin. She still did not meet his gaze out of respect though she was so used to doing so while they were not so inundated with guests. He put his lips to her brow where the star had remained so well hidden since he'd placed it there years before. Only on the full moon did it show, but now it would be visible until the day she died. When he pulled back, he felt some sadness at the thought of his little girl dying, but at least now he knew no one could ever harm her or deny her the place she had in his home. Taking Kagome as his mate and the birth of their son, his heir, had freed him to claim Rin publicly as his daughter because his line was secure.

He turned her gently by her shoulders so that she was facing the large room full of youkai with the faintest smatterings of hanyo and a handful of humans who knew and loved her. She sought out their faces and found herself meeting the eyes of the kitsune, her playmate, who seemed unable to look away from her. It made her smile faintly as she felt her heart jump. "This is Rin, my adopted daughter. Welcome her into your fold as if she were my blood." She felt his hands fall from her shoulders and almost sobbed for the cold that came to where his hands had been covering. She held back, holding her back rigid as the audience applauded and she walked into the crowd.

Shippo shadowed her as she fell into the crowd that was now speaking to her as they were equals. He smirked as fathers pushed their sons toward her, as did mothers. As Sesshomaru's daughter, she was royalty to them and an easy path to power. As much as it had enabled her to live in this world without fear, it also placed her in a precarious position. Shippo almost jumped out of his skin when someone put a hand on his shoulder.

"Calm down, Shippo! It's only us." Miroku said in his laughing voice. Shippo took a soft breath and turned to his friends, hugging the monk, youkai slayer and the elderly miko Kaede. "Who were you stalking with such intent?" Miroku asked, a twinkling smile adorning his handsome face.

Sango elbowed him lightly, smiling faintly as well. "Leave the kid alone, Miroku. You saw very well who he is shadowing."

Shippo sighed. _Why does _Everyone_ assume that I'm interested in Rin?_ "I'm not shadowing anyone. I'm keeping an eye on my sister."

Kaede chuckled and sighed, shaking her head. "Ye will be regretting calling her that someday, little Kitsune."

"Why does everyone keep telling me that?!" He snarled and turned away from them, frowning as he realized he'd lost sight of her. "Damnit." He slipped back into the crowd, seeking her out again.

Miroku, to his credit, was able to hold his laughter down to a light chuckle, but not without great effort. "Oh, he's in for a _horrible_ realization one of these days."

"You're telling me." Inuyasha said as he and Kouga approached the human group within the throng of youkai. "I wonder if the Lord and Lady realize what they have on their hands."

"Its pretty easy to see, my friend. I just wonder if the children realize what is going on." Miroku said, winking at Inuyasha.

"She's still very young. A girl, really, though she looks like a woman." Sango mused, smiling faintly as her eyes followed Rin through the crowd. "She reminds me... Of Kagome when I first met her. A little younger, yes. But there's a beauty... A fragile innocence that's been preserved in her and a warmth."

Kouga nodded. He'd noticed it as well. No other woman could have made a better adoptive mother to the girl than Kagome since they shared so many similarities, both physically and mentally. "Seeing the two of them together each day, is it any wonder that she seems to becoming more and more like her?"

"It's to her benefit." Kaede said softly, smiling to herself. "Though mind ye, Kouga. No girl or woman wishes to be loved for who they remind ye of. And this old woman already knows something ye do not."

"Oh? That being old woman?" Inuyasha asked incredulously.

"Ye were watching the boy's eyes too closely and not hers."

Sango smiled. She'd been watching the girl from the moment she'd entered the room. She'd seen what Kaede was talking about. It was momentary, but it was there. A look turned only by the soft movement of her eyes that fell on Shippo. It was like one of the looks she'd seen Kagome give to Inuyasha when they had first met. It was a look that gathered strength from the man who brought so much light into her world. Shippo was to Rin as Inuyasha had been to Kagome so many years before. "She already sees what she wants. She hasn't realized it yet, but she will. The same goes for him. They are drawn to each other and with only each other in their lives, there will be nothing to stand in the way of them finding each other."

Inuyasha nodded, realizing what Sango was saying. _Like me and Kagome... Only without Kikyo in the way._ He looked to Kouga and smirked faintly. He needed to find a wolf youkai mate anyways. Someone to run with and howl at the moon with. He put a hand on his friend, a man who he'd come to think as another brother, and chuckled. "Let it go, Kouga. As much as I hate to admit it, the old woman has a point. So does Sango."

Kouga deflated a bit and laughed, shaking his head. He saw Shippo falling in step with Rin, shadowing her as the girl headed to the balcony. Rin looked near to fainting from speaking to so many people. She said something to the throng of the young youkai males who followed her and they darted off in search of something. Shippo continued to follow her, smiling one of his more mischievous grins. Once she was outside and out of sight of the partygoers, he wrapped his arms around her, covering her mouth gently.

"Shhh, it's me." He felt her relax back against him, causing him to smile. He cradled her there for a moment. "I'm with you and will be watching you all night... I know Sesshomaru said that I needed to leave you alone tonight so you could mingle rather than spending all of your time with me... But I caught your eyes when you were walking down and I couldn't just not come and let you know that you aren't standing on your own."

"I know, Shippo." She whispered, smiling, gently covering his hands with hers. "You need to go before they get back. Hopefully Father didn't see you coming to me. He won't be very happy with you. Neither will Mama."

"What are they going to do?" He chuckled and kissed her cheek softly before releasing her. "Punishment won't and can't make me regret giving you strength when you so obviously needed some."

She blushed and waved her hand gently. "Shoo. Go enjoy the party."

He chuckled and turned but not before he saw her touch her cheek where he had kissed her. _I might regret calling her sister, but I won't ever regret being near her. Even if it means defying Kagome and Sesshomaru._

He watched his adoptive son as he walked from the balcony just as the swarm of young youkai returned to Rin's presence outside with refreshments. He smirked faintly. Both annoyed and slightly relieved that Shippo had gone to his daughter to ensure she was steady, he knew he had to follow through with his threat. The two of them together were like a force of nature, like the wild taken form. No one existed except them when they were together. Kagome had pointed it out to him and as much as it delighted the both of them that the two orphans could heal each other where their adoptive parents could not, there was one simple fact that needed to be addressed. Rin needed to be free to grow and learn herself so she could be strong without Shippo and Shippo, in turn, needed to prove himself worthy of being her protector. Once that was certain, Sesshomaru knew he could let go of his beautiful little girl. He wouldn't to anyone else unless she made him believe that other was as worthy as Shippo was proving himself to be. Still, Sesshomaru had made a request of Shippo. One simple request that he had ignored. There would have to be some sort of discipline or else he feared the kitsune would lose any respect for him and his office in the future. For Rin's safety, that could not happen. So long as the two were under Sesshomaru's gaze and protection he could ensure their happiness. If Shippo harmed his place within the youkai court, this would no longer be possible. What Sesshomaru feared more than anything was the thought of his daughter and son facing the cold of the world alone. Their children facing it alone and becoming persecuted like his brother had been.

------

"Get up, kitsune." His voice was icy and cruel. Not the voice Shippo had come to know while it was only his father, mother, Rin and little brother. Even when Sesshomaru had come to his room and ordered him to get his weapons for "training" there had been warmth and affection in his words. Shippo had angered him even more by being belligerent about his punishment along with taunting the taiyoukai Lord when he shouldn't have. Now there wasn't any mercy. "Get. Up."

Shippo stood slowly and readied himself. His whole body was a garden of bruises and cuts from the practice sword. He hadn't even been able to get in a hit. "I'm not apologizing."

Inuyasha winced where he sat, watching his brother and the kitsune fighting. Kouga just chuckled and shook his head. "The kid will be lucky if he will be able to walk after this." Inuyasha grumbled.

"Sesshomaru is trying to make a point, brother. Shippo just refuses to accept it." Kouga replied.

He sighed and frowned deeply. "He might need to learn a lesson, but I wonder if some of this isn't just pride."

Sesshomaru shot his brother a glance. It was quick, but gave Shippo just enough of an opening to hit the taiyoukai Lord hard on the shoulder. Sesshomaru growled and turned, laying three perfect blows onto the kitsune before he could deflect them. The boy fell to the ground, gasping for breath. The taiyoukai Lord looked to Inuyasha, pointing his wooden sword at him. "If you have something to say, little brother, say it to me later when I am not making my point to someone else."

Inuyasha smirked and shook his head. "Not when you're in this mood."

"I thought so." He said coldly and returned to Shippo. "Get up now."

Shippo spit up blood, snarling. "What good will it do getting up? You're just gonna hit me more when I refuse to relent. I am _not_ going to say I'm sorry for last night. She _needed_ me. Damned your rules."

He kicked him hard in the abdomen, snarling. Shippo groaned and coughed up more blood. "Who do you think you are talking to, kitsune? Your father or your Lord?"

"You mean the friend or the fucking bastard?"

_Shippo, why do you make me do this?_ He thought, angrily. He had been able to keep his beast at bay this whole time. It was an easy thing to do because the kitsune wasn't truly making him angry. If anything, he was making him proud. It took all his control not to let that show. "Get up and say that again."

Shippo looked over and saw Kagome and Rin walking toward where Inuyasha and Kouga were sitting. They stood and watched quietly. Kagome had a hand on Rin's arm. Though the girl wasn't running down to him, he knew well enough that their mother was ensuring that she didn't with the slight pressure of her touch. He stood and grumbled, holding his abdomen a moment before he could stand completely erect to ready for the next attack. He wouldn't let down. "I know exactly who I'm dealing with. A fusion of the two. The father who is pissed his son disobeyed him and the Lord who's too damned proud to admit that he couldn't calm his daughter where his son could."

"Shippo!" Rin cried out as Sesshomaru again began a torrent of blows. Tears welled in her eyes and she started toward them. Kagome held her around her waist. "Let me go!"

"Shhhh, Rin. If you go down there, you'll only make it worse for him." Kagome breathed into her ear. She'd known after her mate had worked on Shippo for nearly an hour that nothing he did to him was going to make the kitsune break down and realize his mistake. It wasn't about going against his father's word. It was going against his Lord's. She knew how proud her mate was of his son when he'd seen him go to their daughter to give her strength but she also knew the Lord had to keep Shippo in line. He had to teach him respect or else there would be a crack in the amour and a weakness for others to prey upon.

Shippo fell and groaned. It was hard to breathe, but when he coughed, sharp pains went through his chest and blood would pour from his mouth. He heard Rin's cries and shuddered softly. He could handle anything but that. Suddenly he felt the muscles in his body contract and tense, causing him to wretch blood into the grass of her fields. _Damnit... I don't want her to see this._ He looked up to Sesshomaru and noted the coldness in his gaze but also the concern. He stood slowly, wavering slightly, but readied himself again. "Go ahead. Kill me in front of her."

Sesshomaru snarled and grabbed him by his throat before he could react. He held him high in the air with one hand, watching Shippo turn blue. "I don't want to kill you, kitsune. I want you to become stronger and learn respect. You think your mother and I do not see the line between you and Rin? You think we are blind?" He dropped Shippo so he could catch his breath. Then he knelt near him and grabbed him by his rusty hair, forcing him to look back at the sobbing girl held so tightly by her mother. He whispered to the boy, hoping it would sink in now. "You're a boy to them. To those youkai that came the other night. They don't see what we see. They don't know what we know. And because of that, loving her isn't enough. The only reason I can hold your mother and keep her in this world when she is so separated from it is because I have the strength and power to keep those who would deny me her in line. You do not. You will do as I say. You will follow your Lord's rule. You will make yourself worthy in my eyes and mine alone and then I will let you have her. Do you hear me?"

He shuddered, hearing his father's words, seeing his Rin crying out, fighting with their mother to run to him. He hadn't realized. It hadn't come into his mind that what he was fighting with Sesshomaru over wasn't defying him, it was proving his own worth. _Make myself worthy in his eyes and his alone and then he will let me have her... My Rin._ His father's words had been so soft he knew only Kouga and Inuyasha had even a chance of hearing them, if that. This was a promise between them. This was a pact between them for a future he was certain he would work to make a reality. "I hear you, my Lord." He breathed, shuddering. "I'm sorry."

Sesshomaru nodded and stood, walking away from the kitsune, leaving him laying in the grass, in his own blood. "Let her go, Love." He said softly, standing beside Kagome.

She did and Rin raced to Shippo. She hadn't even acknowledged him. If she had, she would have probably poured her hatred on him in that moment. She'd never hated her father. He'd saved her, given her a home, love, safety... But at the moment it didn't matter. All that mattered was the kitsune laying in the grass, coughing up blood, so badly broken because of her. She helped him sit up, lending her lap to him so that he wouldn't collapse back into the pool of red in the tall grass of her garden.

He looked up at her, frowning softly at her tears. He didn't dare touch her with his bloody hands and mar her face further with red. "You're staining your kimono..."

"Kami, you think I care right now? You're bleeding..." She said, sobbing faintly, brushing his hair from his face. "Why are you so damned stubborn?"

"Pretty girls shouldn't say those words." He chuckled, then winced, coughing up more blood.

"For a year after my family was slaughtered I didn't say a single word at all." She said faintly, her eyes dancing with worry and love. "I think I get to say whatever words I want."

He managed a pained smile. She held him until healers arrived and took him back to the palace. She followed on shaky legs and sat by his doorway in tears as they worked to help mend the internal damage. She drew her knees to her chest and hugged her legs, sobbing softly. It took her a few moments to feel eyes on her and sense a presence in front of her. When she looked up she found her eyes possessed by her father's amber ones. Before she knew what she was doing, she threw out her hand and slapped him.

He could have caught her wrist. He could have stopped her. He hadn't wanted to. As much as what he'd done had been necessary, he felt he deserved it as he had watched her sobbing. His eyes never diverted from hers as she lashed out again, hitting him as hard as her weak hands could. She balled her hands into fists, pounding onto his chest until she had no more strength to continue. She sobbed, falling into his embrace, allowing him to hold her. When she began to calm he kissed the crown of her head, holding her as he had so many nights when she was unable to sleep. Her dreams were full of wolves, fire and death. His presence made them easier to bear. Of late he'd caught Shippo sitting with her as she drifted off to sleep and had felt a well of pride and sadness for it all. "I know you hate me right now, Little One. I know that you think I've done a horrible thing when all he wanted to do was make you feel safe. And I know probably better than you exactly why it was necessary."

"He's your son, father. You almost killed him... You could have killed him."

"But I didn't." He said softly, smoothing her dark hair back from her face. "There was a time when I thought I could never let you go. You are the first person I have ever loved and felt compassion for. You are the symbol of my life now. And because of that I will let no one have you who is not worthy."

"Shippo..."

"Is not worthy. Yet. And he understands that now." He said softly. "I want you to know I did not enjoy what I did to him. I didn't want to hurt him that badly. He is too stubborn, too unbending and so it took everything I had, including your tears, to make him buckle and realize his mistake."

"I don't understand..."

"You won't for a while. Only know that I would never do anything so drastic unless it was completely necessary. I love you both as my children. I do not want to hurt either of you. Unfortunately some lessons are painful, especially for a man. Women can openly express what we cannot. What would be weakness for us is strength for you. Your mother proves this to me every day and now you are too." He sighed and released her, brushing some hair from her face. "You should go and change your kimono. It smells of blood and I'm sure that's the last scent Shippo wants in his nose when he wakes."

She nodded, her gaze lost and her stance dizzy when she finally found her legs to stand. He watched her as she walked back to her room and sighed, turning to his brother where he had been watching. "What is it?"

"I didn't get what you were doing at first. With Shippo I mean." He approached him cautiously. There was tension in him and worry. "You were a few hits away from ending him, you know."

He nodded and leaned against the wall. He ran a hand through his long silver hair and shook his head. "What makes him so damned stubborn? He makes Kagome and I look soft in comparison."

Inuyasha chuckled and leaned against the wall near his brother. "Look... We heard what you told the kid. Kinda figured you wanted us to. Kouga and I are thinking maybe it would be good to take the kid out of the palace for a while. He can only learn so much sparring with you and us. Until he sees real battle, he won't get to the point you and Kagome want him to be at for Rin."

He smiled faintly. "I'm glad I didn't have to ask. If you could take him out for six months at a time, I think it would do him some good and her too. I know not seeing Kagome every day in the beginning made me realize..."

Inuyasha smirked as he let his words drop away. He never said it to anyone but her, he was certain. "Does my heart good sometimes when you reinforce what you feel for her."

"Mmm?" He looked at his brother curiously.

"Kagome, I mean." He said softly, meeting Sesshomaru's eyes. "It makes everything worth it knowing that she's loved and happy."

"You know, you don't have to remain alone. She's not holding you and she isn't holding Kouga."

"I know. It's just hard when..."

_When you have such a high standard to set someone up against. _His brother and his lieutenant would never let go of their love for her and while he knew that fact would never take her away from him, he still worried for them. Kagome wanted them to be happy and so did he, though he'd never admit it. "You should try at least. You both should."

He nodded, then shrugged. "When do you want us to leave with Shippo?"

He heard his daughter's footsteps approaching. She was still far off enough not to hear them. "When he's healed. So in a week, maybe two."

He almost replied, but then noticed the girl as she approached. She'd changed into a new kimono and had combed out her hair. There was so much innocence in her and so much spirit. It was inherent, as it was in Kagome. He stopped his line of thinking before it went any further. Already her eyes spoke to whom her heart belonged and he was unconscious in the room where the hanyo and his father stood near.

Sesshomaru smiled faintly to his little girl and embraced her when he saw the tears threatening to fall. "Shhhh, he's alright Little One. Don't mar that pretty face of yours with tears. He won't know any more what to do with himself than I do when you cry."

"Daddy..." She breathed. She only ever called him that when she was overwrought and they were alone. She clung to him, shuddering softly in his arms.

He ran his fingers through her hair and sighed, holding her as long as she needed him to. "Beautiful Rin." He murmured and tilted her face up to meet his eyes. "Go inside. The healers have left and he is resting. You may sit with him until he wakes, then bring him some broth and watered wine, alright?"

She nodded, trembling. "Yes, Father."

She slipped from his arms and entered Shippo's room. "Leave the door open slightly."

She blushed faintly and did as her father had ordered, then perched onto the kitsune's bed, watching him sleep until he woke.

Sesshomaru nodded to his brother and then turned to his own room, ready to join his mate and son in their nap. He slipped into their room silently, smiling once the door was closed. Kagome was curled around the little boy who was pressed tightly into her belly, snoring faintly. He removed his kimono and shirt, then curled happily around the both of them, slipping his arm beneath Kagome's head. She stirred faintly, then settled back into sleep, pressing back against his strong frame.

He smiled and breathed in their scents, chuckling softly in contentment. Already he was longing to sire another within her, but knew very well she would not be ready. His mother had explained to them both that since it seemed Kagome had taken on the fertility of a youkai, a side effect of her joining with Sesshomaru, she would not be ready to become pregnant again until the child was at least ten years old. Unlike his father, Souta would grow and age as a human until he was eighteen years old. Then he would age one year for every hundred, just as it was with Inuyasha.

He let himself settle into sleep. She was like some sort of calming drug for him. He hadn't ever slept so well or so deeply as he did with her in his arms. He woke some time later with the fussing sounds of his son. Kagome was stirring slowly, though he was awake first. The child was dirty, he realized, as the scent invaded his sensitive nose. He sat up and took Souta in his arms to clean him.

"I can do that..." She murmured, still half asleep.

"Rest, Love. You were up half the night with him. You need the nap more than I do." She smiled faintly and drifted back into dreams.

He washed the tiny boy and put a new cloth onto him. He cooed, looking up at his father with adoring, happy eyes. Sesshomaru chuckled. "You're so happy and awake. You should sleep more soundly for your mother in the night." He said softly, kissing the boy's belly gently. "You're making dark circles under her pretty eyes."

Souta babbled at him and grinned. "Oh no, no telling me you like her attention more than I do. Your momma's the whole world to me. And I do not like seeing her so worn and exhausted no matter how much of a charmer our son is."

He heard her laugh and felt her arms wrap around his waist gently. He smiled and laughed softly, richly so that his chest rumbled where she laid her head. "As much a charmer as his father is." She murmured, kissing his back, her soft lips sending a soft shiver through him where she touched his skin.

He caressed her hands gently, watching their son squirm. "You were sleeping."

"Yes, for a moment. Then I realized my two men weren't in bed with me and I missed them." Souta began to fuss again, this time begging for food. Kagome moved to their son and picked him up gently, cooing softly to him. She sat back on the bed where they had been laying and loosened her kimono, offering their son a breast which he accepted happily and hungrily, patting her gently with a tiny hand. She took his hand and kissed it several, smiling.

Sesshomaru curled behind her, holding her in his arms and watching their son. He kissed her cheek gently, smiling as she sighed. "Never thought it would be so easy to share you."

She laughed softly and leaned against him completely, relaxing. "Even with your son?"

He shook his head softly, caressing their son's brow, snaking his other arm further around her waist. "I thought there would be at least a little jealousy. But there isn't. Just wonder and love."

"How are Rin and Shippo?" She asked softly, concern slipping into her words.

"He'll live and so will she. He understands why I did what I did, but she doesn't. I don't think she will for a few years at least." He paused, wondering if he should tell her the next bit.

"Spill it."

He raised a brow at her perceptiveness. But then again, their auras were blended. "Inuyasha and Kouga will be taking him out on quests for six months at a time once he's healed enough. He needs to be able to become strong and hardened just enough that he can garner respect in the youkai courts. If I can ensure that, then I will not worry about the two of them together."

She nodded faintly, gently burping their son once he'd finished, cradling the sleepy boy in her arms. "I wish it wasn't so necessary, Love. I wish they just could be together."

"So do I. I hate that this is what must happen, but as my son and daughter, especially adopted, they must be treated in such a way that establishes their place in my family. Rin's path is easier than Shippo's. So long as she carries herself with the strength you and my mother do and she can follow the rules of the court, she will be accepted and loved in time. Shippo must prove himself to be a warrior on par with me. He's nowhere near that yet. The only way I became as good as I am was through battle, not training. Training is only the foundation. When we can cross swords and I can trust him to be at my back in times of war, I will know I can let him have her."

"Thank heaven she's only thirteen. What you want of him will take years of work." She said incredulously.

He smirked and nodded. "By the time she is twenty, if he is diligent, I feel that I will be able to safely give her to him. Until then, the absence and anticipation of reunion will work to cultivate what is already seeded between them."

Once Souta was asleep, she laid him in the little cradle near their bed, settling him for another nap. "It's all this sleep that's keeping him awake at night, but I can't keep him awake without upsetting him and I hate it when he is so upset and frustrated." She sighed, then smiled as she felt her lover's arms around her, drawing her back into bed.

"I will stay up with him tonight if he wakes, I promise." He murmured, nipping at her ear.

"Mmm, no. You need your rest. You can't fall asleep during court, Lover." She murmured, leaning into his gentle kisses along her neck. She gasped and chuckled as he lifted her from the bed and took her into their courtyard.

He laid her back into the grass, kissing her passionately, issuing a soft moan from her as he pushed back her loosened kimono, letting his hands wander along her soft form. She'd lost some of the weight she'd gained carrying their son, but some would never leave her. It was the mantle of her motherhood, making her softer in places and more ample for him to hold. It had bothered her at first, but she'd let go of her dislike for the weight she could not lose when she'd realized how much it brought him pleasure. Her breasts were larger, her hips more filled and a slight swell where her abdomen had been flat had become her mate's delight. He couldn't put into words why, only that she had somehow become more woman than girl, more mother than maiden. She would never age being bound to him, but this change in her... This alteration only instinctually made him desire her more.

He freed himself and thrust slowly into her waiting embrace, moaning softly. He smiled as she cried out breathlessly, wrapping her slender legs around his hips. He kissed her deeply, weaving his fingers with hers as he began a slow, sensual rhythm within her. He ached for these moments now, taking them whenever he could. The feeling of her around and beneath him, arching and writhing in pleasure, calling his name softly, mindful not to wake their child. She wasn't just worn out because of Souta's late nights and early mornings. And still she never pushed him away or complained. She ached for him as greatly as he did for her.

As they came together, he wrapped around her, kissing her tenderly and caressing her fervently. "You're so beautiful..." He breathed, nipping her lips gently.

"I love you..." She whispered and curled tightly against him, melting at the feel of their skin touching. "I ache for these moments with you... Your duties to the land, mine to our son..."

He chuckled and reached down, caressing the softness between her legs, watching as she pressed to him, moaning softly. He nipped her throat, kissing her heatedly. "I miss you too." He whispered, parting her legs, slipping within her again, his hand resting on the small of her back as he claimed her again and again. He didn't stop until he heard their son's cries, and only then when he had ensured she was brought over completely with him. He would mind their son tonight, if only because today he had sapped the strength his mate would need if she were to tend him.

------

Souta rocked back and forth on his hands and knees, cooing and looking to his sister a short distance away. Shippo watched further from them. He would leave in the afternoon with Inuyasha and Kouga. He knew and understood why. He didn't like it, though. He didn't want to leave her.

Rin's eyes danced with happiness as she watched the tiny boy begin to crawl toward her. Kagome and Sesshomaru watched a bit further off, chuckling. When Souta had reached her, Rin scooped him up and spun him around in the air, causing him to squeal in delight, gazing down at his beloved sister.

She pulled him into a hug and kissed his cooing mouth. "You are the most perfect little boy ever." She murmured and cuddled the child, walking down with him to the stream, settling there, and letting him look at his reflection in the water with her behind him. "See, there you are with me." She whispered, pointing. He squealed in delight, reaching out and patting the cool water. She giggled and pet his thick mop of black hair.

Shippo approached her and sat beside her. She turned and smiled to him, taking his hand gently. He looked down at their hands. Hers was so small in his clawed one. He remembered how she had stayed beside him for days while he recovered, often falling asleep with her head against his shoulder, refusing to go to her own bed. He'd watched her sleep and breathed her in over and over again. He knew before he'd been told that he would be leaving for a while, but he'd not yet informed her. He couldn't bring himself to and didn't want to, but he knew that there wasn't any time left to hold it from her. _Here goes nothing..._ "Rin... I have to leave soon. I'm going with Inuyasha and Kouga out on patrol through the Western lands."

She trembled and gripped his hand tighter. To her credit she didn't cry. She didn't want to upset Souta. Still, her voice wavered. "When will you come back?"

"Father said that the patrols are five to six months, like when you would travel with him when you were a little girl. Then I will have a month at home, then go out again until I am strong enough to become one of his generals." He didn't include the other part. The part where he would be allowed to take her as his mate. She wasn't ready to hear that yet. She couldn't be.

She nodded and sighed, down casting her eyes to their reflection in the stream. "I think I knew he'd send you away."

"Don't hate him for it. He needs me to be strong."

"I don't and I already know that, Shippo. Just... Just promise me you'll come back in one piece?"

"I promise." He whispered. "I have to go. They're waiting for me."

She let out a sound that broke his heart. It was the faintest whimper of protest and her eyes as they met his shimmered with tears. "So soon?"

"I couldn't spoil our time by telling you. I didn't want you always watching the moments and counting them like they were grains of sand falling away." He said softly and kissed her brow over the dark blue star. "Promise me something..."

"Anything..."

His heart began to race. _Anything..._ "Promise you won't give your heart away while I'm gone."

She blushed faintly, tracing his jaw with delicate fingers. "Can't give something away when it already has an owner."

He was shaken slightly, his eyes widening with realization. "Rin..."

"Go now." She murmured, her eyes sparkling into his. "Go before you make me cry or kiss you."

He nodded and kissed her cheek gently, then stood and walked away with his head spinning. He looked back once, framing her in his mind as she was then, holding their brother, her fingers touching where his lips had lain on her cheek. He turned away quickly and ran to Inuyasha and Kouga where they were waiting near his mother and father. They'd been far from hearing range, but they'd seen. It was hard not to see.

"Ready, kid?" Inuyasha asked, a knowing smirk adorning his defiant face.

"Yeah." He murmured, almost hitting the side of his head to stop the spinning sensation that was still twirling and making him dizzy. _She's in love with me..._ She hadn't said it. She hadn't needed to.

"I will walk you to the gates." Sesshomaru said softly and stood after kissing Kagome. "Go to her, she needs you." He murmured before he pulled completely from her so his words brushed their lips together as he spoke.

She nodded and stood. She hugged Shippo, smiling. "Be good, Shippo. Do what they tell you and learn."

He nodded, his eyes dreamy still as he tried to focus on his mother. "I promise."

She laughed and shook her head. She caressed his cheek, then turned to walk away. _You never change, Shippo. Your whole world is caught up in your eyes._

The men watched her as Kagome went and sat beside Rin, slipping her arms around her, cradling her as the girl cried. Sesshomaru sighed and shook his head. "Come along now." He said and walked away, knowing they would follow.

Shippo forced his legs to move as he shouldered his pack that Kouga had been holding for him. They reached the gate, finding Jaken waiting there for them with a sword. The toad handed it to Sesshomaru who then held it out for Shippo.

"Every great warrior has a great sword." He said simply, fighting back the proud smile that was threatening his lips.

Shippo took the simple, but beautifully crafted sword and sheath from his father, drawing it and looking at it intensely. "Thank you... I... I didn't expect..."

"You shouldn't expect anything. You must earn everything. This has been made for you and is tuned to your energies to amplify your abilities. Take it and use it well. I will ask for it back every time you step back into my gates until Inuyasha and Kouga have told me that you are worthy of it."

He nodded, meeting his father's eyes. "You won't ever get it back."

He chuckled and shook his head, losing his battle with his pride. "Keep your promises, Shippo. I don't want it back."

Shippo nodded and bowed to him, then turned to walk away with Inuyasha and Kouga. They were to meet with Kouga's pack and then head out into the vast Western lands. He already ached for the girl he'd left at the stream, but he knew he would return to her, slowly becoming worthy of her as he would prove himself worthy of the sword he'd been given. He never wanted anyone else to have her and so he knew he'd devote himself to that one goal. To becoming the best son and ally Sesshomaru could ever ask of him and the protector his Lord desired for the beautiful, still blossoming girl, Rin.


	10. Falling Sands And Opening Blossoms

Rewritten with much trepidation. There's a reason for everything and I'll go into it at the end.

For Belas who caught my mistake in the first place.

_**I do not own Inuyasha. The puppy-boy is no stray.**_

_**Ivy**_

**Chapter nine;**

Falling sands and opening blossoms 

Time passes slowly for humans and quickly for youkai. It is because a youkai has eternity and a human's time is finite. For Rin, each day snaked slowly by. Each month felt like a forever of waiting. She was changing, blossoming as she knew the court and her parents expected her to. But the changes were painful and hard to deal with. Sons of other youkai Lords were sent to be in her father's court as aids and servants in his duties of governing. She knew their real reason for being there. Their eyes on her were reason enough. She detested them, but to her credit they never realized. She was all sweetness when she wanted to be scorn, innocence when she wanted to be ire, kindness when she wanted to be cruel. It wasn't because they were cruel or mean in any way, it was that they had other motives. They didn't love her. They coveted her. They coveted what she could mean for her and it sickened her.

By the time that Shippo returned after six months, he found her changed physically and emotionally. Her eyes begged him to hide her from the court and he did so obligingly, running with her into the forest at the edge of her garden, hiding, speaking of what had transpired for both of them, easing the pain of their separation.

No one questioned the propriety of him or her being off alone with each other. Shippo and Rin had always been playmates. It was only Inuyasha, Kouga and their parents who knew better and it was for that reason that both knew they were being watched even when they were mostly alone. Fear of being caught and separated even when Shippo would be leaving shortly kept them in line and ensured that nothing irreversible occurred. The night before Shippo was to leave again, she slipped out onto her balcony and waited for him to come to her. He climbed over to her and grinned, looking at her in the moonlight. She was so young. He wouldn't do anything that might sully her childhood, but he loved spending time with her and loved even more looking at the stars with her and lying with her until she fell asleep. The next day he left and she was again at the mercy of the young male youkai that flocked around her father in the hopes of grasping and holding her as their mate.

She fell into the monotony of it all and looked forward only to his return and the one month they would have where she knew she could hide without fear of repercussions or disappointing her parents. Seasons came and went, passing with aching increments until nearly four years of the same cycle of waiting and joy had slipped by her. Every afternoon she would take long walks in her gardens and pray at her mother's shrine, speaking softly to the ashes of the child that never was. She told her secrets to her brother even though he didn't understand. She lived for the stories she'd hear in the kitchen from the servants who had contact with the outside world about the generals and the Lord's son who went from town to town and territory-to-territory defending the Western lands.

One morning, before the sun even crept into the skies, she was woken by urgent voices in the halls and quickly moving feet. She frowned and threw on her robe, opening her door to see what the commotion was. She heard her father's voice roaring in rage and the sound of his footsteps heading toward the main room. She raced after him, finding herself beside her mother. "Mama, what's wrong?" She breathed, looking at the worried Kagome who was trying to comfort a fussing Souta.

"The servants said that there were a group of people insisting to see your father and that Inuyasha was with them." She said with a level, but tense, voice.

She felt her brows crease as the two women entered the main room to find a hastily dressed Sesshomaru talking in a hushed but angry voice to his brother. With Inuyasha were several members of Kouga's pack. She felt her legs tremble. _Where's Shippo?_ "Where is he?" She asked suddenly before she could restrain herself.

Inuyasha looked to Rin. It had been nearly three years since he had left with Shippo and Kouga on their excursions. She was completely grown and carried herself with nobility that had not been so natural to her when she was a girl. "He's with Kouga and the others. They needed his expertise." He paused before turning back to his brother. "He's safe, Rin."

She felt the tension leave her back and she leaned lightly on the doorway as her father's aids entered the room along with his advisors. One looked to Kagome and Rin. "Should they be in a war meeting, my Lord?"

Sesshomaru scowled, then looked to Kagome and Rin. "Rin, take your brother to your room and keep him occupied. Your mother's place is here with me."

She nodded and frowned faintly, taking Souta who instantly went to playing with her hair. "Yes, my Lord." She said softly. Kagome kissed her cheek and moved to her lover's side. One of the aids that particularly had made his desires to mate her known smiled wolfishly.

She backed away, giving him a rather nasty look of distaste and distrust. "Go be a good dog to my father, Takaya." She said softly and turned from him to return to her room.

The young inuyoukai snarled and looked to Sesshomaru who hadn't taken notice of the exchange. _He gives her too much freedom. That will change once I claim her._

She sat with Souta on her bed, playing with him and then cuddling with him until he fell asleep next to her. She sighed and looked out to her balcony. She opened the window and looked out to the East where the sun was rising. _Shippo..._ Her door opened and she turned to see Kagome smiling sadly to her. "Mama, what is it?"

"War, sweet girl." She said softly and moved to her daughter's side after closing her door. She looked to Souta where he slept, then stood beside her daughter, speaking softly. "Your father and most of his aids and Inuyasha will leave tomorrow once supplies have been gathered. Jaken will be left here with us and it will be Satori and my duty to maintain the fortress while they are gone. I will need your help, you know."

Rin nodded and trembled. "Shippo won't come back until it's over with, will he?"

She shook her head. "As much as your father doesn't like the idea, he knows that to send him back would make Shippo look weak."

"How.. How long do they think the war will last?"

She sighed and looked at the rising sun. "At least a year. It is an army of dragon youkai from the mainland come to try and dominate the whole of the country. Sesshomaru and the other Lords are joining together to repel them."

She trembled and was instantly embraced by Kagome. "What will happen, Mama?"

"I don't know, baby. We have to be strong, though, and hope they all come back to us intact. You hear me? You have to be strong." She made Rin look at her then, trembling. "And I need you to promise me that if anything happens to me you will take Souta and hide. Get as far away from here as you can and live in secret."

"Mama..."

"Rin. Listen to me. If your father dies, I will follow him. I need to have your word that you will protect our son, your brother." She felt her daughter tremble and she held her tighter. "Rin."

"I hear you, Mama." She breathed, hugging her tightly. "I promise, I just... I don't want to think about it now."

"You don't have to, baby. You just have to make sure that you stay strong. For me." She murmured and sighed as the sun rose completely. "It will be so quiet in this castle without them.

She nodded, trembling. Her father. Inuyasha. Kouga. _Shippo._ "They will be back."

"Yes. They will." _They have to._

------

The green fire ripped through the fine steel of his blade, burning through the invaders and cutting them down easily. The battle had raged two days and the armies from all four directions had repelled the invaders as well as could be expected. The kind of force that was upon them had probably taken a century to gather. It would take more than a few months of battles to force back the youkai from the mainland.

He cut down another group of advancing youkai, though was unprepared for a group that advanced from the side. He was almost cut down until he was pushed away by Inuyasha. The hanyo released the power of his sword and killed the group as if he had been slicing through a stand of trees. "You ok, kid?"

Shippo stood and nodded. "Where's Lord Sesshomaru?"

"Further back with Kouga defending the town. The mikos are being a great help there in exchange for our assistance defending the innocents they've gathered there." Inuyasha replied. It had been nearly six months since the first wave had hit the shores in force. It seemed as if they would never stop coming. Half their armies had already fallen. The Lord of the Northern lands had fallen along with his three sons. The Lord of the South and East were left heirless. The only army that had not suffered great casualties had been Sesshomaru's. Some called it a blessing of Kami, but Inuyasha knew better. The great Lord inspired every man in his employ.

He ran into battle only when he knew he could win, biding his time, giving up land only to strike when it was certain that he could make a difference in the onslaught. He was careful as well. Careful for reasons that his whole army knew. Careful because of her. Kagome.

------

Sometimes she dreamed of him. His auburn hair in the moonlight shining like it was made of copper. His eyes dancing when he looked at her... Just looked at her as if she were the most beautiful creature placed on the earth. She had only once felt his lips on her own, but in her dreams he always kissed her and held her and whispered how much he loved her. In her dreams they were one.

She walked the halls of the castle in a dream. Every month an emissary would come to give them word on the front. Every month they were given hope that the war would end. It had almost been a year. One night she'd woken to her mother's screams. She'd rushed to her side. Since the men had left, Rin had taken up residence in Kagome's old room across the courtyard from her current dwelling with Souta. Kagome couldn't wake for nearly a week. Across her chest were welts that looked disturbingly like claw marks. Satori had taken it as a sign that her son had been nearly killed in battle, but was alive. If he hadn't been alive, Kagome would have been dead instantly.

She'd woken and looked up into her daughter's eyes with fear. "I saw him fall and fell with him... It hurt so much..."

"Shhh... Mama, it's alright..." She put a cool cloth to her brow, then took her mother's hand. "You're alive which means he is alive."

"He wasn't for a moment... Then he fought his way back... Fought his way back with me in his grasp. Pulled me from death with him. He wouldn't let me go... Rin... Rin, I was frightened." She'd curled against her then and held to her mother. Kagome didn't admit fear. It wasn't because she felt it was a weakness. She simply wasn't afraid of much. The only fear she had was losing those she loved. Death didn't even intimidate the pure and beautiful miko whose bravery had entranced more than one youkai's heart.

"He'll come back, Mama." She breathed. "They all will." _They have to._

------

He woke in the darkness surrounded by the stone walls of a cave. Nearby were the last coals of a fire dying away with Inuyasha standing guard at the mouth of the cave. He sat up slowly, wincing as he did. He'd never been damaged so much in battle.

His brother turned to him and walked over, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You shouldn't be up right now. You're still bleeding pretty bad."

"How long?" He winced as he lay back down but made no other sound of discomfort.

"A week. You were dead for a moment, then you came back. We didn't even do a damned thing to you. Like someone kicked you out of heaven."

"Kagome..."

"She should be alright if you are."

"No... She was there. With me." He murmured, looking off into the dark. He remembered the blow from the dragon Lord. It tore through his torso through his heart with three talons digging so deep he was almost cut in half. Death would have claimed him, surely. It should have. _Then there she was... Standing there like an angel between death and me._ He knew it was her, though she was a being of light and ethereal beauty before him, reminiscent of his Kagome, but as if she had transcended.

_You aren't going to die, Sesshou... I won't let you leave me._ Her voice had been so calm and yet so urgent. She had flooded him with her light and he knew more than he could feel his body suddenly knit back to a point where death would not claim him. She'd fallen onto him in their spiritual forms, spent and unable to fall away from death herself. He'd held her to him and dragged her back to life, desperate not to lose her. He met his brother's confused gaze. "She saved me, Inuyasha. She almost sacrificed herself to save me. To heal me at such great a distance."

Inuyasha was more shocked by the taiyoukai Lord's candor than what he heard. Of course she had... There was no way he should have healed as he did, mending right before them all and suddenly alive without them doing a single thing unless it had been her stretching out to encompass him. Finally Inuyasha nodded. "We all suspected as much."

"What happened in the battle?" He asked with a pained voice, suddenly noting that Inuyasha and he were the only ones in the cave. Had his brother abandoned his men on the field to save him and, by proxy, save the only woman he'd ever loved? He felt a bitter twang in the back of his throat at the thought.

"You were cut down at that sudden onslaught of youkai. No one could have foreseen that the dragon Lord would have kept his elite for last considering how many waves of great warriors we already cut down. When you fell, the whole of the armies rallied around you, to defend you, led by Shippo. Both Kouga and I were still back trying to defend the township. We saw him from a distance pushing the dragons back, slaughtering them unmercifully. He never left your side until we were able to safely abandon our posts and go to you."

He felt a sudden swell of pride in his chest. "Where is he now?"

"Still at the front with Kouga. With the death of the dragon Lord, most of his forces have retreated and abandoned the fight. Still there are stragglers who are making a point of bringing suffering to the humans who survived in the nearby villages. The soldiers who are not helping to rebuild and take stock of our losses are with them beating the last of the invaders back."

"So it is over, then?" He smirked faintly. "And I fell unable to see it."

Inuyasha smirked and shook his head. "From the way we were fighting up until you fell, Sesshomaru, we would still be battling now and losing."

"So you're saying my near death experience was all our troupes needed to rally and do what a living Sesshomaru could not?"

"Yeah well, what can I say." He actually smiled playfully at him, like a pup. "We were glad to see you go."

"Say that when I won't bust open these wounds and I'll make sure you'll be glad."

He only laughed more. The mirth in his eyes so very apparent and... Calming. It had taken him a while to forgive Inuyasha, but he'd never thought he'd actually come to care for his brother as he did now. He, like Kagome, wanted the hanyo to be happy. He wanted him to know the kind of happiness he knew with her and the joys of fatherhood. He put a hand on Inuyasha's arm and squeezed just slightly. "Thank you."

Inuyasha frowned lightly in confusion. "Why? I didn't save you."

"Thank you for letting me be your brother." He looked away from the shocked Inuyasha and smiled faintly. Kagome had definitely softened him. "I certainly don't deserve your friendship or your forgiveness after everything I did to you and took from you, Inuyasha. But thank you anyway. Until I found her... I didn't realize that I ached so much for family."

Inuyasha smiled faintly and squeezed his brother's hand. "Rest, ok? Kagome will kill me if I bring you back worse than you left."

The taiyoukai Lord nodded and allowed himself to fall asleep again so his body could continue to mend itself. Inuyasha returned to his post, clearly shaken but suddenly at peace. _Family. I have family._

That evening Shippo and Kouga returned from the front looking more haggard than they'd left. Shippo's eyes fell on his father. "Has he woken?" He asked softly.

"Yes, kitsune, I have and am." The Lord's voice came from where he lay. He turned his head and met his son's eyes. "I am to believe that you were the one who saved me and rallied the troupes?"

Shippo nodded, smiling faintly. "Good to see you awake."

He nodded and studied the boy. They would probably be out for another six months to repair the damage of the war that had fallen on their lands. All but two of the taiyoukai Lords had been killed along with their heirs. Either some upstart would take their places or the two remaining Lords would inherit the power in the North and South. It was all still to be decided. "We need to send word to the castle. No doubt my mate fell with me and has left the place in a state of worry if not panic." _Knowing Jaken, panic._

Kouga nodded. "I'll send an emissary. Do you... Do you think she's alright?"

Sesshomaru smirked and nodded faintly. "I pulled her back with me after she healed me. She's alive though probably in a great deal of pain at the moment."

The three men frowned at that comment, worry flooding their gazes even more. "She reached out and shared my wounds as she healed me with her powers... If she wasn't at least somewhat bruised I would be very surprised. Don't worry yourselves though. If she were dead, I would know."

Kouga nodded finally, his fear sated. He turned and went to find the aid Takaya who had survived the battle. He wrote a message and put it in his hands. "Take this to the castle. Inform the Lady and her daughter that their Lord and all his generals survived."

"Yes sir." He said and readied for the trek back to the palace. _This is an interesting shift... If I play my hand correctly I might just be able to ensnare the taiyoukai Lord's daughter before he or his bastard adoptive son can do anything to stop me._

------

Satori read the emissary's note. It told of their winning the war and repelling the enemy but not of casualties. It was from Kouga, so she had not expected such frivolity in the content. "My Lord and son is well?"

"Yes, my Lady. Badly injured, but he lives and is healing."

"Have any of them fallen?"

_Now it is time to see how well I can play this._ "Shippo, son of my Lord, defended him when he fell. Unfortunately, of the four he was the only to meet death." He was a good actor, he knew. He could pull this off easily and knew he had at least for Lady Satori when the woman's shoulders almost imperceptibly slumped.

"Thank you for your information, Takaya. Please, go and clean up and then come back to the main hall to inform your Lady and her daughter of this news further. They will need to hear so they can prepare."

"Yes, my Lady." He stood and bowed, feeling his heart leap. _I will have my chance now. That horrible little Kitsune doesn't deserve the power that comes with that mortal whelp._

He returned a while later, dressed well and clean. He looked to the worried women as he entered the room and bowed to them. In her Lord's stead, Kagome sat in his seat. She was paler than usual but still very intimidating. On one side were the Lady Satori and the other the object of his little ploy.

"Please, Takaya. Tell us again what you know." Satori said softly, holding her daughter's hand as Kagome held Rin's.

He cleared his throat and began. "While on the field, I watched as your Lord, Sesshomaru, fell. He was dead, I was certain. We all stood transfixed for a moment, then Shippo stood and rushed to his side. He fought with great valor and rallied us to the front line. I lost sight of him until then end. By then he had fallen, slain while our Lord had miraculously survived."

Rin sobbed and shuddered. She tried to stand, then fell to her knees. "No! You're lying... He promised..."

"Shhhh... Rin, come here, baby..." Kagome crooned, though tears were falling and her voice broke. Rin fell into her mother's arms and sobbed. The Lady looked to Takaya intensely. "Where is his body?"

"They will bring his ashes back with them once their task is finished on the front as said in the letter... My Lady, Rin, Lady Satori... You have my expressed condolences. I was asked to remain here to attend you all in your grief until Lord Sesshomaru and his generals can return."

Her senses were assaulted suddenly by everything. The light was too bright. Everything was too loud. Her heartbeat pummeled in her ears and she felt faint. "Shippo..." She moaned, suddenly watching as the world went black.

She woke and it was dark. She curled onto her side and moaned, feeling as if her heart had been ripped from her chest. She would be eighteen in a few weeks. It didn't matter now. Nothing mattered. She felt her mother's cool hand on her face and looked up to meet her gaze. "Mama... Why would Kami take him from me?"

Kagome's face was tear stained. She hadn't been able to stop them until now. She had to be strong for their daughter, for Shippo's love. She couldn't break down now when Rin needed her to be strong. "I don't know Baby. I just know that we have to keep going. You have to keep going. He'd want you to. You know he would."

Rin sobbed and curled into her mother's embrace, weeping and gasping for air. She cried herself back into blackness and did so for several weeks. She couldn't stop crying, wanted nothing to eat, but ate when prompted if only to calm her mother and grandmother's mournful looks. She walked as if she were a ghost, her heart broken and dying all around her. All delight she took in her little brother who still followed her like a shadow was gone. He was her constant companion... Aside from Takaya.

She hated him. She wanted him gone, but she didn't have the strength to push him away. A few more weeks passed, a month, two... She wanted to stop feeling. She wanted to be numb and dead.

One day she was walking in the forest behind her garden with Souta following close behind, examining the pine cones and declaring each one to be ugly and worthy stomping before he did just that. She would have smiled at his words. He was trying so hard to make her smile. But she couldn't. The laughter had been cried out of her. _Shippo... My love..._ She dreamed of him every night as if he were alive. As if he were working along side her father, Inuyasha and Kouga. _But it isn't possible... He's dead. It's just a wish your mind is using to make you insane._ She didn't even hear the extra set of footsteps behind her until it was too late.

He grabbed her around her waist and pinned her to a tree face first. She cried out and writhed against her attacker. Souta screamed and began to cry. "Let me go! Leave me alone!"

"You frigid bitch..." He snarled into her ear, making her freeze. Takaya had no intention of letting the Lord come home before he'd impregnated his daughter. "Poor little mortal wench... I will enjoy making you scream."

She cried out and fought even harder as she felt him push and rip away the back of her kimono, thrusting into her savagely before she knew what was happening. The pain didn't end as it should have. He was taking her too forcefully. She sobbed and screamed for help, but knew none would come. She was too far out. When she heard Souta's sobs and weak cries for his sister, she forced herself to calm. It was mostly the confusion of what was happening that was frightening him but also the terror and pain he sensed in her and could hear in her cries.

Takaya smiled wickedly and continued to take her again and again, never releasing her once from where he held her prone. He only let her fall back when he scented the child within her. She slumped to the ground, sobbing silently. He gripped her dark hair and forced her head back, gripping her throat in his teeth. He tried to bond to her, but she refused to submit. He tried to rip away her aura and force his own upon her, but she was too strong willed. After a few moments he snarled and threw her to the ground. "The child will be enough to cement my place here, pretty Rin."

Souta crawled to his sister, petting her hair, confusion in his face and voice. He could scent her blood and the strange new scent in her. He didn't understand. He wasn't more than a boy. He looked up at Takaya and snarled hatefully. He knew enough that it was him who had hurt his sister. "Get away! Leave my sister alone!"

Takaya laughed and spat cruelly. "Oh yes, young Lord. I'll leave her alone. Now."

She didn't move. She didn't respond to her brother's frantic pleas. Her mind was gone and in agony, shame and hatred. With the last of her strength before her thoughts collapsed, she screamed out one name into the ether as if she could make him hear across the divide of death. _Shippo!_

------

He started awake, her voice ringing in his ears. He was up and looking panicked, startling the three other men who were settled around the fire near him. He'd fallen asleep after another hard day's work. _I heard her... I swear I heard her this time..._

"Shippo?" He felt his father's hand on his bare shoulder, calming him. He met his eyes with fear and a sudden rage. "Shippo, what's the matter?"

_Why do I want to tear someone apart? Why do I want to tear Takaya apart? _He snarled and pulled back, turning suddenly to the wall of the cave, hitting it repeatedly until he could control the rage that threatened to overwhelm him. He fell to his knees, looking at his bloody, broken hand as it began to knit. He felt their eyes on him. They'd think he was mad.

"Shippo... What is wrong with you, Kid?" Inuyasha asked, not approaching him, worried it would set him off again.

"I heard... I heard her screaming for me..." They knew very well that the "her" was that he was talking about. He'd been hearing her voice for a while now, calling him home, but he'd thought it had been a dream. He'd said nothing of it, but this... Now... It was too real. It had been real. "She was screaming my name as if someone was killing her. Someone..." His mind suddenly grasped it and he snarled, hitting the wall again, not even wincing as he heard more bones break. "Someone Takaya. He hurt her. He's... She's gone now... Like she folded into herself and is just... Gone... Kami... Rin..."

He felt his father's hand on his shoulder again and he looked up to him. He was already ready to leave. They all were. "Get your things together. We'll leave when you are ready."

He nodded and stood, dressing hastily, gathering his things. He had to get to her. _I'm coming, Rin... I will be there soon... Don't leave me Love. Don't leave me._


	11. Rage

**_Rewritten. The grammar monkey is not yet sated. He throws things at me. I must edit more. Stupid temporal references and evil contractions!_**

_**I do not own Inuyasha. I own my OC characters, but that's it. Only them. You can't have them. Mine. All mine.**_

_**Ivy**_

**Chapter ten;**

**Rage**

Satori cooled the cloth again in the bowl of water and placed it on her brow. She winced faintly as her gaze fell back on the girl, her granddaughter, beloved Rin, where she lay. They'd found her with Souta, broken, bloody and carrying a child. Satori had scented him immediately on her and by Kagome's orders he'd been imprisoned in the dungeons, warded and his youkai powers suppressed. They'd cleaned her, bandaged her, put ointment on the cuts that were marring her beautiful face and had not left her side since. Neither had Souta. For the first day he refused to say anything. Then the words had simply spilled out of him.

When Kagome tried to pull him away from his sister, he fought and screamed like a wild animal and so they'd left him there. When Satori had asked him why he wouldn't leave her, his reply had been so soft, so innocent and pure it had brought the woman to tears. _Daddy isn't home... Not Uncle 'Yasha or Kouga or Shippo... Somebody's gotta protect my sister. And I'm all that's here that's a boy._ The little boy was curled against his sister even now, petting her and singing her the little songs she'd taught him. Now and then he'd ask his mother to bring wild flowers for his Rin and when she did, he would braid them into her long dark hair. His brow was creased with a line of worry and fear. She wouldn't wake up. It was as if she was willing herself to die and so every day a part of her seemed to slip away.

Kagome paced in the receiving room. Her hair was down and in unkempt waves. She flexed her hands into fists and then extended her fingers tensely only to ball them again in rage. She'd sent an emissary to her lover, to her mate. Takaya hadn't confessed as much, but it was reasonable to suppose he might have lied about the death of Shippo. To make them all lose their composure and focus. To give him a path to Rin. It made her sick even to think about it.

Jaken watched her wearily. He'd never seen his Lady so distressed and angry. Not even when Kikyo had murdered her and Sesshomaru's first pup. She was dangerous now. Frightening and dangerous. Though her miko powers were now tainted, she was incredibly strong and the very strands of her hair seemed charged by this rage, this determination that had overtaken her normally peaceful, serene demeanor. He lifted his head at the sound of approaching hoof beats. They were too far off for his Lady to hear.

"Lady Kagome?" He asked in the gentlest voice he could manage.

Still she turned on him with a kind of intensity that burnt into him in ways Sesshomaru's eyes never had. "What?"

"There are horses approaching."

She calmed faintly and brushed from the room with intent, heading for the gate. As she was half way there, she saw the approaching horses and pack of wolves. She felt a pang in her chest seeing Shippo beside his father. It hurt so badly she clutched her chest and crumpled, screaming and hitting the ground. The horses spooked and almost threw Kouga and Shippo. Sesshomaru jumped from his mount and approached his mate cautiously. He knew how powerful she was, but he'd never seen her strength in such full bloom and so dark with rage. "Kagome..."

She looked up, tears falling hotly down her enraged face. She bowed her head and focused, sending her energies into the earth to calm herself. The men pulled away from her as they felt the great burst that made the barrier around the castle suddenly thicken, then fall back to it's normal levels. She was breathing hard and clutching her abdomen after the power had left her. She looked up and met his eyes, her beloved mate's eyes and again looked like the broken little girl he'd seen when she'd thrown herself over his brother, willing to sacrifice her life for his. "Sesshou... He said Shippo was dead..." She whimpered, beginning to sob.

He had her in his arms in a moment, tightening his embrace when he felt her shudder. "Where is Takaya?"

She shook her head, pushing from him after a moment. She stood and walked to her son, looking him over lovingly. She cupped his cheek and trembled when he leaned into her touch. "You're the only one who has any chance of bringing her back... My beautiful boy..."

The men watched her closely, reading in her stance that it was more than just them thinking Shippo had died. His vision had been true. Shippo steeled himself, asking the question that was hanging in the air. "What did he do?"

She shook her head and covered her face, trying to compose herself. There weren't words in that moment. She couldn't tell them. The look in their eyes... But she knew they'd learn soon enough. She gathered her strength again and looked to the four men who had come to mean so much to her... Who each was a part of her family. "I will tell you, but not until you've all sat down and heard me out... Because when you go to her, I cannot allow you to feed your anger into her. She doesn't need it... She has enough to face soon enough when she wakes."

Slowly they nodded and she led them to her shrine as the servants took the horses. Sesshomaru watched her as she walked. He reached out suddenly, noticing something that disturbed him. He took a long silver lock that was nearly hidden in the mane of her midnight hair and caressed his thumb over it before releasing it.

"It has been there since we nearly lost ourselves, Love." She breathed, looking up at him as she found a spot on the grass to sit. When they all had found their places, she found it once again hard to breathe. Hard to speak. The words were just too hard. "Two and a half months ago, Takaya came as an emissary to us and delivered your message, Kouga. We were all so worried and it brought us peace... Rin, Satori and me... But then he told us that you were dead, Shippo. That you'd died defending Sesshou and... Neither Satori nor I sensed any falseness from him. He lied and let the deceit fall from his lips as if it were the purest truth and... We sensed nothing. We had no choice but to believe. And mourn... We were told that your ashes would be brought back in the course of six months. It occurred to none of us that we should write and confirm what he said. Why would we? Why draw out her pain and our own any further than it already had been?"

They watched her intently, understanding the reasoning, knowing full well they would have done the same as painful as it was to admit.

"She took to walking... To walking through her garden, through the woods, anywhere away from the palace but within the walls. Sometimes it felt like she was tracing her steps to the places she enjoyed being with you, Shippo. She ate and drank only when we begged her to, slept only when she could walk no more and only enough so that she could return to her path. Souta was never far behind. He told me... He told me that he had to make her smile again. He said that she would die if she didn't smile. He made it his great quest... We thought nothing of her walking with Souta. She was home... She was safe. We were making sure that she could endure until she finally healed. Until she could move on... And then... Then she and Souta didn't come in three nights ago." She swallowed hard to keep control of her voice. She couldn't stop her tears, but at least she could keep her voice even. They needed to hear. They needed to understand. "Satori and I thought perhaps she and he had just fallen asleep and so we went walking out to find them... And we heard Souta crying... Sobbing and crying out to her more lost than I had ever thought I would have ever heard him... And she was there... On the forest floor... Bleeding and broken and so still." She shook at the memory, rocking softly, fighting for control as her power surged again, the rage returning. "Her kimono was torn... Souta wouldn't speak about what happened, wouldn't answer us except to beg us to help her... To help his sister. Then she scented it... Mother scented it..." She stood and began to pace, more agitated than any of them had ever seen her. She clenched her fists and screamed. Sesshomaru caught her by the shoulders, trying to calm her, trying to meet her gaze and when he did he felt himself burned to his soul. "He raped her. He raped her over and over again until she conceived and he did it in front of our son."

"Kagome..." He breathed, feeling some part of him actually breaking. He couldn't fathom what she had just said. He thought he had beaten her and from the look on the other men's faces, they had thought the same. They hadn't been prepared for what she'd said.

She pulled away from him suddenly and laughed cruelly. Her eyes were filled with hatred and her body full of rage. Her laughter turned to a sudden scream and then a sob. She shook herself and again hit the earth, letting her dark energy surge through the barrier that protected the palace. She was breathing hard, frightening them all. "I don't care what you do to him. I don't care how bad you hurt him. I don't care how long it takes you..." She stood and met their eyes in turn. Her rage had boiled away but her gaze... Her gaze was still so very dark. "I don't care. Just make him hurt. Make him scream. Rend him into the next world, just make sure that he regrets his sad little life and that he begs for death before you grant it to him."

She hadn't been saying anything more than what they all wanted to do. She wasn't stating anything other than her desire and it mirrored theirs perfectly. She hadn't done anything but what they might have done in her position. But it was her that was saying it. Their perfect Kagome. The beloved mate, mother, sister and friend who was so pure and strong and loving. She wavered slightly, having finally released everything that had pent up inside her for three days. Her form crumpled to her knees and she began to sob. Guilt. The guilt in her was so overwhelming. Sesshomaru wrapped around her and gathered her into his arms, kissing her brow gently. "Has she woken?"

"Not once." She breathed, clinging to him, shuddering. "It's almost like she's decided to die, Sesshou... She needs all of us. She needs to know she isn't alone and that Shippo is alive. She needs to know or she'll let go soon."

The men slowly found their feet once they had desperately reigned in their rage and pain. It wasn't time for them to morne. They could do that another time. Now was the time for them to go to the young woman held in her bedroom in the castle and the boy who refused to leave her.

------

Satori looked up when the door opened. She'd heard them coming. She'd sensed Kagome's power dispersing twice. She hadn't left the girl's side. Kagome and Sesshomaru entered first. Her son looked broken as he knelt beside his daughter and son. Souta looked up at his father. "Daddy?"

"I'm here, son." He whispered softly and opened his arms. The boy clung to him and he tried to comfort him as he cried. He wasn't prepared for the child to speak. He wasn't prepared for what he heard. None of them were. Even Satori and Kagome who had heard it come from his lips once before.

"He came up and pushed me and pushed her and held her against the tree and she screamed and she fought and cried and her face cut on the tree and then he tore her kimono and he... Did something... He made her scream more and I screamed and she looked at me and then she just... She went quiet and let him hurt her and her eyes said run, but I couldn't run and let him hurt her so I threw pine cones at him but he still didn't stop and then he laughed and dropped her, then bit her throat and growled but got mad and threw her down and spit on her and said th'baby was 'nuff an sh'wouldn'wake up!" The boy began to weep, clinging to his father who could only hold him and wish agonies on Takaya who was imprisoned in the dungeon. "I smelled her blood an'she don't smell right, Daddy... What did he do to her? Why'd he change my Rin?"

He rocked his son an tried to comfort and calm him. The four men scented it at once. She was still carrying that bastard's child. His eyes fell instantly on Kagome who looked away.

"Don't blame her for that, my son. If you need to blame someone blame me." Satori said, receiving a dumbfounded look from her son.

"Why?" Shippo snarled from his place he'd taken up in the corner. Inuyasha and Kouga were against the far wall, looking ready to tear something apart.

"Takaya is a bastard and deserves to die." She said simply, cooling the cloth again and putting it over the sleeping girl's brow. "But she doesn't. She's not bonded to him. She should live."

"That doesn't explain why you've left his child in her, old woman." Inuyasha spat, not caring about Satori's ire.

Satori sighed. "Half of the child is his, mutt. The other half is hers. She has a right to decide whether it survives. She's not a child any more. She hasn't been for a long time, you all have just been too far away to see the beauty she has grown into. It isn't just her form and face... Her spirit is as exceptional as her mother's and her will as strong. She has a tenderness and a capacity to love that staggers every youkai and human she comes in contact with. She is strong and yet does not know she is strong. Murder the child within her, any one of you before she comes to terms with what has happened. Make the choice for her without concern for her own will and you will push her to a breaking point."

"Mother... You think she would want to keep it?" Sesshomaru asked carefully.

"No, I don't. She hated that worm, Takaya. It started when he first arrived though I never asked her why. I could guess it was because of the way he presented himself to her and carried him self in the court, but it could have been something more. Rin is not the kind of child who takes a dislike to someone based on one or two things. It takes much to turn her heart... That being said, I doubt very much that she will want the child she carries. The fact is that it is her choice. No one's but hers. She is an adult and has no mate. When she wakes and the choice is given to her, she may ask that someone but her do what must be done, but it will still be her choice and I warn each of you not to take that away from her. She deserves greater respect than that."

There was a collective tension in the room. There was no way to counter her argument. It was the truth, but it hurt badly to admit it. Souta slipped out of his father's arms and returned to lying next to his sister, hugging her gently. "Sister, Shippo came back. I told you he would. You didn't believe me, but I knew. I knew." He whispered and patted her gently, his young eyes hopeful, as if the words would bring her back.

Kagome trembled and shook her head, feeling her energies spike again. She felt their eyes on her and she turned and walked into the courtyard. She couldn't let it go. Not even Takaya's slow torture would ease the hatred and rage she felt. She knelt in the courtyard and shuddered. Her powers were becoming overwhelming. They'd always spiked when she was upset, angry or afraid. It was a survival instinct. When she was placid, tranquil, happy she could heal, urge plants to grow, even affect the weather with her moods. The skies were becoming black as her rage. Lighting was cutting through the sky and she trembled. Inuyasha sat near her, but far enough away that she wouldn't burn him with her energies. He watched her a long time, frowning.

"How long has it been this bad?" He asked softly.

"Since he left... Since the war started, really. I've sensed him through it all, but my worries deepened with each day. Then he fell and I... I had to let go of my control, all of my control to save him and then he saved me. I couldn't move for days, I was bruised all the way through me." She whispered. She pulled the lock of silver and looked at it, shuddering. "The only mark to remind me of how close I came... How close we came. When I was strong enough, when my energies returned I began feeling the powers I'd never truly sensed before. Everyone had told me how strong I was... Stronger than any of my incarnations. I just never thought it would become so strong I couldn't control it."

"What can we do?"

She shook her head and smiled sadly to him. "I wish I knew, Inuyasha. Right now it's more important that Rin recover. She needs us."

"You need us too. Kagome, if this keeps happening, soon you won't be able to stop yourself. You might hurt someone. You might hurt yourself."

She shuddered. Should she tell him? Why worry them more...

"What aren't you saying, Kagome?"

She met his eyes and sighed. She couldn't hide anything from him just as she couldn't hide anything from Sesshomaru. Still, Inuyasha didn't have the advantage of being spiritually bound to her and aware of her emotions so keenly. Slowly she pulled back the sleeve of her kimono. An angry cut was along the width of her forearm with bruises around it. Inuyasha's eyes widened. "It isn't as bad as it was..."

"What happened? Tell me the truth, Kagome."

She looked away and sighed. "When... When Takaya was imprisoned three nights ago... I almost discharged all of my power into him. Almost. It took so much to restrain myself..."

"You did that?" He snarled and frowned, already knowing the answer.

Sesshomaru walked to them, his eyes already on the cut on her arm. He'd smelled the blood, but hadn't been able to place where it was from on her and had been so distracted with Rin, he hadn't asked yet. "Why would my mate damage herself?"

She shuddered and hid the cut, pressing her eyes closed. "I couldn't control myself. All of my focus was on that bastard... so I cut just once so that I could focus on the pain."

He knelt down in front of her and took her by her shoulders. Her azure eyes met his golden ones and she shuddered, letting her tears fall. "You are a force of nature, beloved. You always have been. With enough agitation from the world, the placid sea becomes a tsunami. With enough time the tender stream cuts through the mountain."

"I need to learn to control it, Love. I could kill you all with a thought."

"I know. But you could save us too. What is making it so hard to control all of this power set free in you is your rage. Your hatred of Takaya. Your need to see him pay for his crimes against our daughter."

"Nothing will make that go away."

"No, Kagome. You will make that go away. You will let go of it. You will embrace the love you feel for our daughter and you will find your center again."

"What if I can't?"

"You can and you will." He said simply and kissed her gently, embracing her tightly, ignoring the feeling of her energy as it passed across his form. Their auras were one. Her powers were charging his but not harming him. Inuyasha or anyone else being that close to her at that moment would have been singed or worse. "You must. Let it go, Love. Let us deal with him and release everything else. Let it go."

She shook and began to sob, clinging to him. He ran his clawed hands through her hair, cradling her, waiting for her to let go. Inuyasha watched, almost in awe at the tenderness he saw in his brother. Even with everything that had happened he found the strength to be her foundation and haven. A soft pulse came from the embracing lovers and Kagome went limp in Sesshomaru's arms. He kissed her gently, holding her as she swooned. "So dizzy..." She breathed, winding her fingers in a stray lock of his hair.

"You will be for a while. You need to eat something." He murmured, brushing a few strands of hair from her face. "These last days you've been running on nothing but rage."

She smiled faintly. "How'd you..."

"I'm your mate. Our hearts beat together." He murmured and kissed her deeply, lovingly, smiling as she trembled. "By now you should know nothing slips past my knowledge, pretty mate."

She blushed and rested in his arms, sighing, beginning to drift off to sleep. She was back to herself, to her own self and not ruled by her rage. He stood and carried her to their bed, laying her down carefully and breathing her in slowly. He'd missed her, ached for her for nearly two years. Now he was with her and couldn't be with her. They both would agree that what was happening with Rin as well as their son was more important than carnality. He took her hand, kissing each knuckle tenderly, then her palm, finally looking at the angry gash on her arm. He frowned and touched it, noticing that it was healing fairly well but it still would probably leave a scar if she did not regenerate it soon. He sighed and kissed her lips gently, then pressed his brow to hers. She was sleeping almost peacefully with the exception of the worried line that was crossing her brow.

He stood a few moments later, leaving the door to their room open partially to let in a breeze. He sat beside his brother and relaxed slightly. "She'll be alright." He murmured.

"I hope they all are."

He nodded faintly and ran his hands through his hair. He wanted to confide in Inuyasha how helpless he was feeling. He returned home to find the first person ever to slip into his heart defiled and wishing herself into death, his son's fragile innocence broken and his mate... He hadn't recognized her at first for what had happened. Now that she'd been able to let go, been able to allow him to be her strength again, she was back to herself and the woman he fell in love with, but for a moment he was afraid he'd never see her again. He looked back to his daughter's room and frowned softly. "Takaya..." He breathed and sensed Inuyasha tense.

"What are you planning on doing?" Kouga asked as he walked toward them, sitting near Inuyasha.

"He's already dead. He and his father just don't know it yet." Sesshomaru said icily. "I will call his father to us, to court, and confront him with a choice. Either he can abandon his heir to his fate and remain my friend or he can join him."

They nodded. The execution would not be swift, this much they all knew. And it definitely would not be merciful.

------

It had been almost a week. He lay beside her on the bed, running his clawed hand through her hair, willing her to wake. Souta lay on her other side, telling her stories. He would not leave her and neither would Shippo. Satori had gone to bed to rest for a while as had the others. He couldn't sleep unless he was near her. He barely could then. He propped himself up slightly and looked down at her pale face. Sickly and weakened. Slowly wasting away. He couldn't stand it. He slipped his arms around her and sat up with her. Souta growled at him.

"Stop! She's comfortable..."

"Souta back off!" He said sharply, then softened seeing the tears in his brother's eyes. "I'm sorry, Souta... I won't hurt her, I just wanted to try something."

Souta rubbed his eyes, sniffling. "Promise?"

He nodded, trembling a bit. "I'd never hurt her."

Souta nodded, sitting with his knees drawn to his chest.

Shippo looked down into her placid face, aching to see her deep brown eyes again meeting his. He caressed her cheek, then kissed her gently but lovingly, trying to pull her back with the contact. He'd only kissed her once, the last time he'd left for patrol almost two and a half years before.

The wind was catching her hair and making it billow behind her where she stood in her garden. He held her hand, watching the sunrise and smiled as she rested her head on his shoulder. They didn't speak all that often, not on those days. There was very little to say but good-bye and they refused to ever say that. He turned and looked at her, feeling his breath taken away at the sight of her in the first light of morning. She blushed and smiled at him, practically glowing. He'd leaned in before he realized what he was doing and gently captured her lips with his own. She trembled and blushed, then held to him, allowing him to deepen the kiss. It felt like an eternity before he was able to pull away from her. When he did she rested her head on his chest, and he'd breathed her in. Only a few hours later they'd parted promising the same promises to each other they always had.

He'd returned to this... His Rin so near death it made him ache. He kissed her again when she did not respond, letting himself cry when she still did not return. "Rin, please... Rin, I don't want to lose you."

He kissed her once more, praying to Kami she responded. He felt her tremble in his arms and finally respond, allowing him to kiss her deeply. A soft sigh escaped her and she wrapped her weak arms around his torso, holding to him. He didn't break away at first. He didn't want to. He probably couldn't if he'd tried. And from the way she was returning his kiss, she didn't want him to. Slowly he broke their kiss, looking down into her face, meeting her broken gaze. He caressed her face softly, noting the wonder and confusion in her. "I thought..." She breathed, beginning to cry.

"He lied to you." Shippo breathed and kissed her again, cradling her in his arms. She clung to him, sobbing. "I promised I'd come back. I never break my promises."

"Shippo..." She gasped, then suddenly pulled away from him, beginning to panic. Souta looked at her, his eyes flashing with as much worry as Shippo's did. "Oh... Oh Kami..." Her eyes pleaded with Shippo, terror washing over her. "Tell me it wasn't real... Tell me... Please, tell me he didn't..."

_She... She thinks it was a dream... She wants it to be a dream..._ He moved to her, embracing her even though she flailed at first. She collapsed against him quickly, unable to sustain the strength necessary to fight him. His voice broke as he spoke. "Souta, get Momma and Father, alright?"

Souta shook his head, refusing to leave. He looked so frightened, so lost.

Shippo growled at himself. _Of course he won't leave... The boy's traumatized._ He looked to the door and called out as loud as he could to his father. "Sesshomaru!"

He was there as if it only took a few steps to reach the room. Kagome was with him a few seconds later. The Lord looked down on Rin who was panting and fighting Shippo, panic overtaking her. Souta rushed into Kagome's arms, crying. "Why... She's awake?"

Shippo nodded, trying to calm her. She looked at him pleadingly. "Tell me! Please..." She cried out, agony crossing her features. "Shippo, tell me it was a dream... Tell me it was a nightmare... I can't... I can't have it be real... Please... Please... I can't have it..."

He knelt beside his daughter and son who looked as lost and panicked as she did. He took her in his arms and held her until her shudders and trembling passed for the most part. "Rin, you need to be strong. You need to be strong because if you let this destroy you, it will destroy us."

"Daddy... Daddy let it be a dream, please... Please Daddy..." She sobbed, clinging to him.

He felt his heart break again and let himself cry for her. He ignored those who had rushed from their rooms and were at the door watching. He didn't care. _My baby... My little girl..._ "I'd bend the whole world just to make it a dream if I could. I'd throw myself to death if I could make it just some nightmare for you, Little One... Some nightmare I could soothe away from your mind, but I can't. I am too weak..."

She fought back a scream, only half succeeding. The sound was strangled and sent agony through those who watched. It rung in her ears and her father's. He'd only heard it once before... As he'd walked away from her when she was a child that first and only time... And she'd fallen dead from the attack of Kouga's wolves. It was desperate, fragile and full of a kind of rending pain that most never felt in the whole of their lives. It was the sound that rabbits made when they faced death. It was a scream of forced and unwanted surrender.

She calmed slowly but the trembling wouldn't stop. She heard Souta weeping and saw then Inuyasha, Kouga and Satori in the room near her. And Shippo... Shippo looking at her with such love and warmth and pain. She looked up and met her father's eyes. As a child she'd thought his eyes were more beautiful than anything she'd ever seen before. They were where his emotions lay. They spoke to her and made her fears go away. And now... They were telling her something was very wrong. "What is it... That you aren't saying?"

She watched her mate shudder and went to his side. She touched his arm and captured his gaze. "Take our son outside with the other men." It wasn't a request. In the time they'd been together, she'd never ordered him to do anything. She knew she didn't have that right. But here, in that moment, she did and she took it for the sake of her daughter.

He nodded and took Souta who did not of yet grasp that he was to be taken away. He began screaming once he hit the air of the courtyard. The other men followed after a moment, knowing very well something they had no hand in would occur and for her pride, Rin didn't need them near her.

Rin trembled and looked to her mother and grandmother once the doors were closed and they were alone. Kagome focused and put up a protective barrier around the room, leaving the three women to silence and privacy from those who might hear. She helped her daughter sit up on some pillows with Satori sitting on her other side, holding her granddaughter's hand. She didn't understand. She couldn't. She still hadn't processed everything that had happened to her and there were blanks, moments that had slipped from her or become muddied and muffled.

"Mama, what is it? What's wrong?"

She paused and pushed some hair back from her daughter's face tenderly, meeting her eyes. "Baby, breathe, alright? I'm going to ask you to make a choice in a moment and I need you to be strong, alright?"

She nodded slowly, feeling some of the fog fade from her mind, finding herself returning slowly to herself from her pain and sorrow. "Yes, Mama..."

She gathered herself and her own strength, then said what was hanging so dangerously around them all. "When he raped you, he did so to sire a child, Rin. He did it to try and force your body into yielding to him so he could bond to you. He didn't succeed in bonding to you, but he did sire a child, Baby."

She felt a jolt run through her and suddenly she began to cry. It was more than just coming to tears. It was as if something was switched on in her mind and body and she wept completely and utterly. She clutched her abdomen and drew her knees to her chest. "Kami... I don't want this... I don't want it in me... I don't want him inside me growing..."

Both Satori and Kagome embraced the girl, letting her weep, letting her mourn until she could tell them what she wanted with a clear head. It took a long while. The sun was climbing over the horizon by the time she was able to speak again. She looked to the two women, her eyes puffy and red but certain. "What do you want to do, Baby?" Kagome asked softly, smoothing her hair.

"It's his... No matter what part is mine, it's his. I couldn't love the child. Not knowing it was Takaya's... I feel so evil knowing that... And that makes me pause and think maybe I should keep it... It would be my penance..."

"Rin.. Rin, you shouldn't be punished for this..."

"I know it wasn't my fault, Grandma... I didn't let him rape me or ask him to... But I feel evil for hating my own child. No matter who sired it, shouldn't I love it? I... I don't want it... But do I have the right to kill it?"

She sighed and kissed her daughter's brow gently, calming her. "It is your body, Rin. It is your choice. Could you live with yourself killing the child now or killing it slowly later with your resentment for its very existence? A child deserves love. A child deserves to be cherished completely."

"You... You think I should kill it?"

She met her eyes and sighed. "I think that is entirely up to you, Rin. And I and Satori will support you no matter what your decision is."

She looked down at her hands, processing for a long time, curling against the two women gently. She cried and trembled, her mind a jumble of pain and loss and confusion. Slowly she met her mother's eyes, then pressed her brow against hers. "Does it make me a bad person if I only want to give Shippo children?"

She smiled faintly and hugged her daughter tightly, kissing her cheek gently. "No, Rin. It makes you human and hopelessly in love. Promise me you can forgive yourself, Baby, and we will end this..."

She shuddered. "I can. In time."

Kagome wrapped her arms around Rin as did Satori. She focused her energies into Rin, locating the life that was so completely knitted within her. A few tears ran down her cheeks and she begged forgiveness from the child. It responded to her softly, somehow understanding what was happening. There was no resistance, it was simply gone. Kagome purified the half of it that was Takaya so that Rin could mourn the other half. The half that was her child only. The tiny soul fled and the life ebbed from within her. "It's done." She breathed, pulling her power away from her daughter.

Rin sobbed softly and clung to her mother, taking comfort from both her and Satori. It was another hour before Kagome let her shield melt away. As she walked from the room into the courtyard, her eyes sought out her mate and sons. She smiled faintly finding them. Souta was asleep against his father's chest and Shippo sat near him, worrying the grass beneath them. Inuyasha and Kouga were sparring but stopped seeing her exit. She knelt beside her mate and met Shippo's gaze.

"Go to your mate, Shippo. She needs you."

He felt a chill run down his spine at her words. He looked to his father for confirmation. Sesshomaru nodded and smiled faintly to him. He stood shakily and entered the room where Rin lay curled on her side, fighting for consciousness. The room was flooded with the faintest scent of blood. Satori looked up to Shippo and nodded, wrapping some cloths into a bowl. Kagome had helped the blood to flow from her quickly so Rin didn't have to live with the reminder of her violation for a week more.

"I will leave you." She murmured and left the room, heading toward Kagome's shrine with purpose.

Shippo lay down beside Rin and pulled her into his arms, breathing her in. She melted against him, trembling. He wouldn't take her now. He couldn't. Not until she was ready. But he would claim her and bond with her. He could sense her desperation and longing for that security.

Gently, tenderly he kissed her, laying her on her back, caressing her form. She responded to him, arching softly against him, pleased sounds slipping into their kiss. He smiled and met her gaze, then pressed his brow to hers. Without so much as a word he slipped his hand beneath her neck, pulling her to him with slight authority but not enough to frighten her. She gasped softly, tensing, then relaxing, arching her throat to him without any thought of with holding herself. He gently took her in his mouth, biting down so softly that there would be no mark to mar her throat. She gasped and sighed softly, submitting herself to him utterly, shuddering as their auras blended, becoming one. On the small of her back a crimson star came into existence, matching the kitsune's at the base of his tail. He released her gently and kissed her again lovingly, holding her to him.

She blushed and smiled, curling against him, then tensed. "Shippo..." She breathed, suddenly frightened.

"Shhh... We won't yet." He whispered, calming her. She again relaxed and melted against him. "Not until you're ready, Love. I promise."

She nodded and sighed, finding herself terribly exhausted and emotionally worn. "I.. I can't keep my eyes open..."

"I won't leave you, Rin. I'll be here when you wake."

She smiled and kissed his neck gently, falling into a deep, restful slumber. He cradled her against him, content to watch her sleep. She would survive. She would live and be safe and they would be happy. He would make sure of it. She and he belonged to each other and there was no one who could change that.


	12. What We Call Justice

Rewritten a little bit. Grrr… I growl at you Grammar Monkey!!!!

_**I do not own Inuyasha. But I do own my Grammar Monkey.**_

_**Ivy**_

**Chapter eleven;**

What we call justice 

Sesshomaru watched the lower youkai Lord as he knelt, bowing his head before them. He had listened, heard, but had not responded to the accusations. "Respond. You have been given a choice in this matter."

He looked up and met Sesshomaru's eyes piercingly. "You bring me here, tell me that my only son, my heir is guilty of assaulting this human girl who you've taken as your daughter and that he is to be executed then ask me to choose my life or death with him?" He stood, shaking faintly, but not in fear. In rage. "You know the laws of this court. Unless a human is taken as mate to a full blooded youkai who has position to keep her among us, that human is subject to the will of _any_ youkai who wishes to impose it on them."

Inuyasha snarled, watching the man from where he stood beside his brother. Kouga was on his other side while Kagome and Satori sat behind them. For all he knew his brother was going through, Sesshomaru was remaining completely calm.

"Any of us in this room could have done what we wished to her and _you_ have _no say_ in it. Give me my son back, Lord of the Western lands."

Sesshomaru stepped foreword and looked around to the group of youkai he'd called to him. His eyes were piercing and cold, freezing. He was only one of two of the high Lords remaining and it was certain that he would also be inheriting the Northern lands as his own. He would make his point and have his way, to hell with all of the lower Lords. "Each has heard his claims. Tell me who agrees with them now."

The room was silent and the lower Lord's eyes and face became ugly with rage. "You fear him so much? Was he not the one who fell in battle only a few months before?"

"You forget." Kouga said simply and met the youkai's eyes unflinchingly. "He got back up. And that wasn't because he was a taiyoukai. That was because of his _human_ mate. On his own he could end you right now for your pride."

Sesshomaru let himself smile wickedly. He did not mind them knowing of his beloved's strength. His pride was not hurt that his position was enhanced and made more formidable by her power. That she had saved him from such a distance only made him seem even more invincible and with her recent shows of power, though she had regained control, the entire court was incapable of seeing her as a weakness. She was his greatest strength.

He advanced on the lower Lord and snarled faintly. "They won't stand with you. You've made your choice, it seems."

The lower youkai stepped back, suddenly realizing his position. "You would kill me over that brat? She's only a stray!"

"She is my daughter." He hissed and backhanded the inuyoukai, sending him flying. The guards took the inuyoukai into custody and escorted him to the dungeon for execution with his son. He turned and looked to his beloved, feeling his soul relax at the warmth in her approving gaze.

The court was dismissed and Kagome fell in step with her mate. She took his hand without thinking but he did not chide her. Only two weeks back together after two years and he was not about to pull away from her or keep his distance. Every chance they had, there was touch.

As they rounded the corner and exited into the gardens, they caught sight of Rin and Shippo asleep in the field of wildflowers, curled together. Kagome tightened her grip on his hand and he smiled faintly. "They look so peaceful." She whispered.

"He bonded to her but..." He murmured. _She has still not been taken and claimed. Why?_

As if reading his thoughts, she drew him to sit with her on a stone bench. "They will be together when she's healed more... Physically she's fine... But..." She shook her head and sighed. "I can't know what she's going through. She was still a maid when Takaya raped her. To have that be her first experience... I doubt that she'd be ready for a long while to be with him no matter how much she loves him."

"I don't... Understand..." He murmured, wrapping his arms around her.

She leaned against him, caressing his chest gently and sighing. "She's afraid, Sesshou. Afraid that when Shippo touches her she'll remember what happened and pull away from him even though she aches to be near him. In time the fear will ebb and they will be together fully, but now... At this moment, it is good Shippo is able to hold himself back. She needs time."

He nodded, beginning to grasp what she was saying. "Humans have so little time... I would think it would be in her nature to want to push past it as quickly as possible."

"She probably does... But she has forever now, Love. And she will learn to pace herself as I have. And she will heal as she should and one day it will not be as if it never happened... But it will become the nightmare she wished it so desperately to be rather than a reality."

------

The wind was cool on their faces as they ran together. Once such an activity would have been only done as a necessity. They hadn't enjoyed each other's company then. They'd been enemies and rivals and had only fought together begrudgingly when there was no other choice. When there was another choice both would have rather torn the other's throat out. Now they ran together as pack mates and brothers and it was strange to think of it as being any other way. It was easy to recall a time when they had been something other than friends, but why?

They were patrolling through the forest beyond the walls of Sesshomaru's castle as they were oft to do when there was little else to attend to. The rest of Kouga's pack was scattered throughout his Lord's lands and would report back to him when it was required which left Inuyasha and him to their own devices most of the time. As they reached the river, they slowed to drink. He looked over and smiled faintly to the hanyo.

"Feel like hunting?" He asked softly, sitting back on the slightly muddy shore.

"Not today." He replied and sat back as well, then lay back and looked at the clear blue sky. It was hard to believe that in only a few weeks the cold of winter would come and snow would again cover the land.

"Has to be something to do while we wait."

Waiting. Waiting for the execution. That was part of the reason they ran. They ran because they knew if they didn't and remained always in the castle their desire to slaughter Takaya and his father would only increase. They might not be able to control that desire.

"You think he'll get it?" The Northern lands. It had been the topic of much debate between them and what happened if he was given the territories.

"Not sure, Kouga. Though if he does I wouldn't be surprised if he sent Shippo and Rin to look after it."

"What makes you say that?" It hadn't seemed possible when they'd spoken of it before.

"After what happened... It would be a show of power as well as a way to give them both new starts without the memories tied to this place. Sure, Rin is doing ok and she and Shippo are bonded, but they ain't mated yet."

"You think that's just because of the place?"

"Nope. It's definitely more." He sat up and smirked faintly. "It's a kind of hurt that we can't really get, Kouga. That's just stating the obvious. But even though it's more, I'm sure being here even though she's with family ain't helping all that much."

"Wasn't the place's fault."

He paused and sighed faintly. Sometimes it amused him the way youkai couldn't understand human emotions. They altered uncontrollably and ruled their actions. Their desires slipped through with every step they took and it made them weak but it also made them strong. It had taken a while for him to understand that about himself. That side of him. He had the ability to ignore that half of himself, but he chose not to. The opposing dichotomy within him actually balanced out and guided him. There was no more war within his soul and it had brought him peace as well as control and strength. Sometimes it amused him how distant a youkai's emotions could be from them. They most certainly felt them, but the animal and darkness in them allowed them to detach themselves and act on instinct and level thought. Sometimes, though, it just frustrated and annoyed him. "After Kagome freed me from the God Tree, I thought I'd never go back there. I didn't want to. There was too much pain there. Too many memories. But until I came to live here and call this place home, I would find myself returning to that spot over and over again. Wasn't the trees fault that Kikyo pinned me there and sealed me for fifty years. Wasn't the trees fault that it became a symbol to me of all the times I failed, was tricked, betrayed and hurt. But there it was and as many times as I tried to fight my pull to that place and the memories it held for me, I always went back and was both sheltered and shadowed by everything it represented to me."

Kouga thought on that a moment and nodded faintly.

"Youkai don't treat memories the same way... They aren't connected to places and they are meant to overcome and deal with and move past them. They have eternity so everything seems momentary. Humans don't. They only have that moment and a short time after to live with the feelings and move past them. Some never do."

"That's what reincarnation's for then?" He smirked.

Inuyasha laughed and shrugged. "Guess so. Never heard of a youkai reincarnating, just moving on and past. Humans come back over and over again... So in a way they have longer than we do."

"Same is true for hanyo then?"

He'd never really considered that. What _was_ going to happen to him? "Dunno. Seems pretty deep stuff for a warrior to think on, doesn't it?"

Kouga just laughed. Then something caught his eyes. Inuyasha followed his gaze to further down river. Two cloaked figures were helping each other across but having a hard time of it. The force of the current was pulling down the smaller of the two. Both men were up and running before they realized they were. The current began to pull the second figure down as well, issuing a scream of frustration from her. There was no other conclusion than that she was a woman from the sound of her cry.

"Hitomi!" She cried out, fighting hard to keep upright and hold onto the other girl.

"I can't hold on... Sister!" Her hand slipped out of the taller girl's grasp and she was pulled fast down river.

The men watched in horror as the other girl suddenly released her precarious stance that had kept her from being pulled down with the smaller girl, Hitomi, and was also swallowed up by the current.

"Damn!" Inuyasha cursed. "I'll pull her out, go after the other one!"

Kouga nodded and raced down the shore, diving into the river and swimming fast toward the struggling form of the girl that had been completely submerged. As he reached her, she looked up and met his gaze with piercing violet eyes filled with panic. He paused an instant, taken in by her gaze, but soon snapped out of his trance and grabbed her by her waist, fighting to reach the surface.

Inuyasha wrapped his arms around the taller girl's waist and dragged her to the shore. She struggled and sobbed. "Hitomi! No!"

"Someone's gone for her, calm down..." He said, refusing to release her. "He'll bring her back."

"She's my sister! I swore to our father I'd protect her... You don't understand... You can't understand..." She sobbed, curling into a knot on the shore, shaking.

He frowned and touched her shoulder, then slowly pushed back her hood. Long, drenched golden red hair greeted his eyes and then bright lavender eyes that were almost blue in the light. She cried and shuddered, finally looking at him and one aspect of her sent a jolt through him as well. Her ears were placed just as his were, though they were more feline. It was then that he noticed the slit in her pupils and the general felinity of her features. "You're hanyo..." She whispered, pulling away, again drawing her hood over her head.

"Sayoko!" She turned her head sharply to the sound of her sister's voice. She stood and raced to her, embracing her on the shore, sobbing.

"Hitomi..." She breathed, clinging to her as if she were all she had left in the world. "Kami... I thought I'd lost you."

"You almost did." Kouga said softly from behind them.

Sayoko looked up suddenly and stood, pushing Hitomi behind her and drawing a katana from its sheath that she'd had hidden on her back. "Stay back!"

"Sister, they saved us... Why would they want to hurt us?" Hitomi's voice asked softly.

"Father said trust no one, Hitomi. We will do as he said and go where he ordered if he did not return." She met Inuyasha's confused gaze. "I don't care who they are and what they did to help us."

"Sayoko!" Hitomi's voice came slightly annoyed and worried. She peered around her sister at Inuyasha. Her eyes were more violet than Sayoko's and her face slightly more feline. She frowned and suddenly shoved her sister. "Put that thing away. Why would a hanyo hurt us?"

She stumbled forward and snarled faintly. She slipped her sword away but was still on guard. Without looking to her sister, she continued to speak. "We don't know even who they are and you go and trust them."

Hitomi smirked and stood beside her sister. She pushed back her hood, revealing auburn-brown hair and the same cat ears as her sister. "We are Hitomi and Sayoko, daughters of the Northern Lord. We come to inquire of his fate and what our own might be."

Kouga frowned faintly. "The Northern Lord perished in the fighting along with all his sons... It was not made aware he had any daughters let alone ones of a human mother."

Sayoko laughed bitterly. She pushed her hood back as well, smirking. "Would you have said anything about us while you were alive? His mate would have rended us before we made our first cries if she'd known we existed."

Hitomi leaned on her and looked to the ground, trembling. Sayoko wrapped an arm around her to steady her. "So he's gone..."

Sayoko winced and kissed her sister's head gently. She took a moment to collect her thoughts, then looked to the two men who were studying them so intensely. "Before he left for war, he went to the home he'd left us to be raised after our mother died birthing Hitomi. He said that if he did not return with his envoy to go to Lord Sesshomaru of the Western lands. He did not say why. Only that we should come and he and his mate would harbor us and protect us from our father's mate's wrath if she should ever discover us. And... From any others who might wish us harm. I'd watched his gates for months, having heard rumors that the war had ended from passing villagers. His envoy returned two weeks ago but he was not with them and so we came here... For confirmation."

Inuyasha nodded, frowning deeply. The girls were sent to his brother to protect them, to save them. The Northern Lord must have loved their mother deeply not just because he'd protected them for so many years but also because he sired two children with her. "The Lord Sesshomaru is my brother. His mate and Lady is a human woman named Kagome and his adoptive daughter is also human. Your father was wise to send you here. You and she will be safe and are safe with us. You have my word."

Sayoko nodded slowly, taking Hitomi's hand gently. "We will go with you... When we know your names."

Kouga smiled faintly. "Feel at a disadvantage?"

Sayoko laughed in amusement, but her gaze was like Hitomi's... So lost and broken from the world they'd been born into. So much like Inuyasha's eyes it was rending. _Such beautiful eyes shouldn't be filled with so much pain._

"No." She replied coolly, though her smile remained. "I just want to know the name of the men I'll be killing if you both turn out to be liars."

Inuyasha raised a brow at her response. _She's more cocksure than I am._ "My name is Inuyasha. This is Kouga, leader of the wolf tribe."

"Kouga... I know the name." Hitomi murmured, meeting Kouga's eyes. She smiled faintly. "Your pack once settled to the North near our father's lands."

"Your father told you of me?" He asked, genuinely curious.

Hitomi nodded, her eyes sparkling with the mischief only a cat could possess. "He told me not to go out when the wolves howled. The youkai Kouga and his pack was roaming and making themselves a nuisance."

Inuyasha scoffed then noticed both girls shivering slightly. "Come with us. It's getting cold and the last thing my brother needs is two hanyo girls sick in his castle right now."

They pulled up their hoods and followed the men closely, but not too close. Halfway there, Hitomi spoke. "From your comment I wonder, Inuyasha... What troubles the Lord so greatly that two sick hanyo he needn't even bother himself with past giving them a warm bed to sleep in would become a bother?"

"Perceptive girl." Kouga commented and then looked to Inuyasha for his response.

"His adoptive daughter, Rin, was assaulted by one of his aids. The man and his father have been imprisoned for treason and are to be executed in a few days when the court assembles."

"Should we even bother him then at all if he has his own troubles to deal with?" Sayoko asked softly.

"The Lord is a cold and hard man, but he would be the first to beat us both senseless if we let you not go to him because you thought you might bring him more worry. Partly that is because of his nature but it is also because of his mate. She would heckle him to the grave if she knew." Kouga murmured and chuckled to himself, thinking of Kagome picking on Sesshomaru the way she did Inuyasha so many years before when ever he upset her.

"Lady Kagome sounds as if she instills more fear than the Lord himself." Sayoko said with a bit of admiration.

Both men couldn't help but smile. "No." Inuyasha said softly with a kind of reverence that caught both girls by surprise. "She instills love and the fear of the lack of it."

------

Kagome couldn't help but smile. She stood and stepped away from her love as she saw Inuyasha and Kouga approaching with two diminutive forms near them. "Looks like we have guests, Sesshou."

He looked up and then stood beside her, wrapping his arms around her waist. He breathed in her scent as the four approached them, his eyes widening slightly as he noticed the two girls were both hanyo and both cat youkai. "Who are your friends?" He asked softly.

The girls seemed slightly taken aback by the amorous posture of the Lord and his Lady. Sayoko gently pushed Hitomi slightly behind her on reflex, which issued an unhappy sound from her younger sister.

"Sayoko and Hitomi, daughters of the Northern Lord." Inuyasha said, motioning to each girl in turn.

"They came for sanctuary, Sesshomaru." Kouga said softly, smiling faintly at the rather serene look on both his Lord and Lady's faces.

Sesshomaru nodded and kissed Kagome's lips gently before releasing her. He took her hand in his, though, weaving their fingers together. "Your father's mate will arrive here tomorrow. From what I know of her she... Is not the most patient or kind woman. Having lost her children and mate at once and being faced with surrendering her own hold on his lands will make her... Fickle at the least."

Kagome gently released her lover's hand and smiled to the girls. "Come with me. We'll find you rooms and get you into some dry clothing."

Sesshomaru chuckled at his mate. It wasn't just that she was anticipating him. She'd been set on taking them in before she'd even heard their stories and, without her even having to ask, Sesshomaru had given into her desire, giving his response with his kiss.

The girls looked at her, clearly stunned by her warmth and obvious complete and sudden care for them. She laughed and shook her head. "Don't look at me as if I might bite you. I won't, I promise. Now follow me before you catch cold." She took their hands, pulling them gently until they fell in step with her though both girls still looked shocked by his mate.

His generals watched them walk away and smiled. Inuyasha shook his head. "Only Kagome." He murmured.

"Indeed." Echoed Kouga.

Sesshomaru only laughed and sighed, returning to his seat.

------

The woman was kind, gentle, warm and definitely stubborn. Sayoko frowned as she looked at the kimono and again shook her head. "I won't wear this."

"You are going to be in court. I will not let you dress like a man and embarrass my mate." She said, laughing again as she finished helping Hitomi dress. The bath had been heaven sent but the clothing would soon drive her over the edge.

"I am a warrior, not a Lady..."

"You are a woman, not a man, Sayoko." Kagome said simply and immovably, staring at the girl still adorned in one of her robes, her hair sopping wet.

"Then give me back my bindings and let me cut my hair and they won't know the damned difference."

Hitomi giggled. Her sister was a tom-boy and always had been. There was only a year separating them in age, but in personality a rift that neither could or would traverse separated them. Neither could remember what their mother looked like and had lived on stories of her alone uttered by their nurses and father when he was able to visit them. Sayoko had worshiped him and he had indulged her by training her to fight. Hitomi, on the other hand, while more physically resembling her father resembled her mother in her personality. She was meek but mischievous, warm but conniving. She drove Sayoko mad at times, especially with her teasing.

Sayoko's gaze snapped to her sister as she was slipping on her sandals. "Don't you even turn against me, little girl."

"Oh come on, Sayoko! For once can't you just be nice?" Came the girl's response. She had gone from bemused to snappish. "Lady Kagome and Lord Sesshomaru have taken us into their home and all that the Lady is asking is that _during court_ you wear a kimono rather than a hakama, ok? I'm sure if you ask _nicely_ Lady Kagome would be able to find you something more suiting for you during the regular days, correct my Lady?"

Kagome smiled and nodded. "Certainly. But for the next few days while things are so tense already for my mate I will have to insist you dress according to your sex, alright? At most I will only ask this of you for a couple of weeks and then only when we have guests. Things are far less... Restrictive when it is only family and servants."

Sayoko sighed and finally relented and then chose the simplest kimono of the bunch which, still while rich and beautiful, only served to enhance her exotic beauty. The skirt was also by far looser around her ankles allowing her greater movement. She watched as her sister put her hair up in combs carefully and sighed, only brushing hers out. Kagome sighed and shook her head slightly. "I am _not_ going to pull my hair up. It gives me a horrid headache."

"I wasn't going to ask you to." She said with a warm smile. "I was more in my own thoughts, Sayoko."

"What do you mean?"

"It's only that..." She shrugged and her smile faded slightly. "I suppose I just don't understand youkai well enough to grasp why you would be in such danger. I can understand your father's mate's anger but... Not her desire to kill you. Even my mate's mother did not actively seek out Inuyasha to kill him for what his father did."

Sayoko stared at her for a moment. _Either she is truly as good, kind hearted and loving as she seems or she's horribly naive and stupid._ "Lady... Honestly, what world are you from that such a concept eludes you? I mean... Youkai might learn to love humans but they certainly don't... I mean..."

"They don't mate them the way my Lord has mated me, you mean?" She chuckled and sighed, seeming very amused. "I realize I'm one of the exceptions to that rule. And my Lord loves me. Loves me enough to bring me into eternity with him. And I love him and our son and I wouldn't trade either of them for anything."

"You... You have a son?" She murmured, her sister's eyes also taking on a look of wonder.

"Yes, at the moment he's driving his grandmother crazy with questions in the gardens. His name is Souta."

"He is a hanyo then?" Hitomi asked cautiously.

She tasted sickness in the back of her throat. "I hate that word, to let you know. He's my son. He is my love's son. Whether his blood is pure youkai or human makes no difference to me or to my mate. But, yes, he is like you. He is like Inuyasha, though no one would know it just by looking at him. Our bond allowed him to be born with the outward appearance of a full blooded youkai."

"We did not mean to offend you, Lady..." Hitomi began but stopped when Kagome raised her hand.

"While you are here, you will be treated no differently than any person should be treated. With respect and care and justice. I know it will be hard for you to accept and understand at first. Kami knows it took Inuyasha years to come to grips with the fact that his blood was more who he was than he wanted it to be... And that it would never matter to me. But you are an equal to all of us. You are accepted and if you allow us, you will also be loved and brought into the fold of our family." She smiled at their stunned looks and sighed. "I'm not some naive little school girl, ladies. I never have been, even when I first stepped foot in this place... This world. I am simply Kagome and though I see your differences you must understand that I don't care. I understand this world and I openly defy it when I don't agree. You are both safe here, I promise. Now... If you'll excuse me I will be returning to my mate."

She turned and Hitomi spoke before she thought just as Kagome opened the door. "You must love him very much, Lady Kagome."

Kagome turned and smiled warmly to the girl. "I do. He's my soul. My mate."

"No... I mean, yes, of course you do. It's plain to see when you're with him and to hear when you speak of him... But I meant Inuyasha." The girl blushed and Kagome smiled, looking down.

"Love takes many forms over time, Hitomi. But yes." She murmured. "I'll love him until the day I die." She met their gazes with warmth and purity. "He is my brother by spirit and choice. There is nothing that will ever change that. All I want for him is to be happy."

As she left and closed the doors, the girls fell into their own thoughts. Of the men that had saved them, the Lord who so openly showed his affection and kindness and the Lady... The strange otherworldly Lady who, without any more effort than it had taken her to breathe, had made them feel welcome and at home.

------

They were brought roughly before the Lord and his generals. They were in the grand courtyard with the whole of the court circled around them. On the balcony of the great room sat Kagome, Satori and Rin. Souta was curled in his mother's lap, his eyes buried into her chest.

Takaya and his father were forced to their knees before Sesshomaru with their feet and hands chained. Both looked to him defiantly and Takaya spat. "All of this over a little human whore?!"

Shippo started forward, but his father's arm stopped him as it pressed across his chest. "She is no whore. She is my mate." He said through gritted teeth.

"Calm, my son." Were Sesshomaru's cool words but they did indeed calm him. The Lord stepped forward and looked down on them. "These are my lands, mine and mine alone. Upon them I make my rule and enforce it. She who you defiled in the name of power for your own sake will have justice. She will have retribution. She is my daughter if not by blood by right and no one shall question this fact again unless they wish to face your fates." The last he said looking to the court that was gathered before him. He drew his sword and quickly dispatched Takaya's father, severing his head with a clean blow.

The blood sprayed, then pooled on the ground, missing the Lord completely, leaving his pristine robes clean and unsullied. He looked to Takaya and growled. "You will not be shown such mercy, pup. Tie him to the stones." He said coldly, callously and stepped back as the guards did just that, chaining him to the stones of the courtyard. Takaya struggled and cursed. The chains were draining him of his power, rendering him as helpless as Rin had been under his ruthless hands. "Cut away his clothing." The Lord ordered and it was done save for his loincloth.

When it was finished he looked to the crowd with icy and cruel intent. "No one shall give him food or water. He will be left as such to the mercy of the elements for a fortnight. He will not be killed unless it is by my word, though any other tortures visited upon him will be allowed by any who would wish. No one shall speak to him or heed his ranting. If any of my words go unheeded, there will be an equal penance asked of them for their crime of disobedience. As he showed no mercy, so let it be that he is shown none."

The court bowed their heads in acquiescence and slowly they dispersed. A few, soldiers, friends of Sesshomaru, colleagues to his generals came forward and did their own damage to Takaya. Shippo, by his mate's request, did nothing. It would be his sword that executed the inuyoukai when the time came. However, it was Jaken who surprised his Lord as the toad came forward. The youkai was small and annoying but once he had been a great general to his father and his father's father. In his infirmity, Jaken had become Sesshomaru's retainer and Rin's keeper until Kagome had been taken as his Lord's mate. The toad looked down on Takaya in disgust, studying him with a kind of hatred Sesshomaru had never seen in him before.

"Once, when I was much younger and very foolish, there was a time I would go into the human's world and look on them with envy for the beauty of their existence. What we don't understand about them upon first sight is the power they hold in themselves. The ability to endure almost anything if they know love. For youkai there is only strength and the cunning to use that strength to inherit power. For humans there is only love and the courage to use that love to find meaning and purpose in their lives. For a very long time I forgot that I had admired them so greatly. I had forgotten that there was once in my life a time when I wished only to protect them and during war when I would intentionally direct troops away from them to ensure they were not destroyed. I forgot because humans slowly became more like youkai and youkai slowly more like humans. They lost their innocence. They lost what made them so beautiful in my eyes. And I hated them for that... Until my Lord took a little girl into his grasp that had been torn asunder and thrown into death and he brought her back. She reminded me of what I once admired in her species and it has only been because of her that I learned to forgive the rest of them for giving up their beauty." He paused and sighed, shaking his head. "This is the first I have spoken of this... I only wanted you to understand why, Takaya. I fought beside your great grandfather and it is only in his memory that I do this service to you before I take my own revenge on you." The others watched in horror as the diminutive youkai sliced off Takaya's manhood and laid it on his chest. Takaya screamed and writhed, fighting to escape. Jaken coolly cleaned his blade and turned his back, not even responding to the villain's pain. He bowed to Sesshomaru. "My Lord." And walked from the courtyard.

Sesshomaru turned and watched his vassal leave his presence, stunned to his core. He looked up to the balcony and found a stunned trio of women. It hadn't been what had happened, it was the one who committed the act that had been so unexpected. Shippo was gone from his side and he was soon to follow after hearing the cries of his son and seeing his mate take the boy into the main hall. He reached Kagome and Souta only a moment after Shippo reached an overwrought Rin who clung to him, shaking, but not crying.

"Don't let me go... Please don't let me go..." She whispered into his ear.

"Never, Love. Not ever." He breathed, gathering her in his arms, kissing her gently.

Souta clung to his father's neck, his eyes wide. "Why'd Jaken do that?"

"Shhhh, Souta. He did it because Takaya is a bad man." He said softly, trying to find the right words to explain. Kagome rested her head on their son's back, singing softly to him, calming him instantly. Her voice had that affect on their son as well as on him. He met her gaze and smiled faintly. "It will be alright, I promise." He murmured, both to Souta and to Kagome.

Shippo lifted Rin and carried her to their room, aching every time she trembled against him. He lay her down on their bed, holding her and trying to calm her. "Shhh, Love... Shhh... It's alright..."

"Shippo..." She breathed and pressed closer to him, clinging to him. Her lips sought his out and captured them, kissing him tenderly and with the first sparks of heat he'd felt since they'd been reunited.

He responded and kissed her deeply, with passion. He fought back his need for her but clutched at her, drawing her as close to him as he could. Her slender fingers began pushing away his clothes, startling him further. He broke the kiss, scenting her arousal and desire, and met her eyes. "Rin... Are you certain?"

She shuddered, taking a few moments to assess what she was feeling. She still felt violated, watching Takaya punished and tortured hadn't drawn any of that from her heart and soul, but she wanted her love. She needed him and what he alone could give to her. "I need you, Shippo... I need you to help me feel something other than the pain he gave me. I need you to love me and take me so I can begin to let go... I just need you... Please... Please..."

He shook himself mentally and stopped her words with a deep kiss, feeling her tremble against him. "I love you..." He breathed, slowly pushing away her kimono and freeing her hair from its combs. She shuddered and closed her eyes, leaning into his kisses along her jaw and throat.

"I love you, Shippo..." She breathed into his ear, gasping as their skin touched completely to each other.

He took his time undressing her fully and himself, letting her adjust with every part of skin that was exposed and touched to his. Slowly the tension and fear left her and soft happy sighs slipped from her as he began to kiss every part of her, exploring her tenderly. As he reached her core, she shuddered and tensed again. He looked up and met her frightened eyes. "I will not hurt you, Love. I will never hurt you..."

She shuddered again and nodded, forcing herself to relax as he returned to his kisses. A soft bolt of pleasure coursed through her and she gasped, then moaned breathlessly, not having expected it. Another followed it and then another until she felt like she were floating. Her mind felt overwhelmed and then her body as if it were exploding with pleasure as she shook, crying out achingly. Shippo smiled and kissed his way back up to her lips, drinking in her kiss and her breathless moans. She clung to him, wrapping her legs weakly around his hips.

He broke their kiss gently, meeting her eyes, his own overflowing with love and desire. She gasped, her eyes panicking slightly, feeling and knowing what was to happen next. He kissed her brow gently. "Shhh... I can stop if you want me to." He whispered, pressing their brows together. "I can stop whenever you want me to, you only need to ask."

She trembled, running her fingers through his long, dusty red hair, her eyes half closed. When she spoke, her voice was calm and sure. "I want you, Shippo. I don't want you to stop... I'm afraid, but I would have been afraid even if... If none of this had happened... Because it's you and I don't want to disappoint you..."

He smiled faintly, leaning into her touch. "You never could disappoint me." He breathed and kissed her deeply, slowly finding his way into her, moaning as he felt her embrace him within her. She gasped and panted softly into the kiss, one hand gripping his hair, the other his back as he began a slow, sensual rhythm within her. Slowly as she adjusted, he increased the speed of his rhythm, losing himself in the feel of their union.

He broke their kiss and gazed into her eyes, marveling in her beauty as he brought her pleasure. Soft, achingly beautiful sounds were slipping past her lips and into his ears only enhancing his delight. He nipped at her lips, then her throat as he felt them nearing release. "Shippo..." She gasped, beginning to quake beneath him.

They reached climax together, spiraling in pleasure in each other's embrace. When they finally fell, there were no words only fervent caresses and soft, tender sighs between them. They curled together and he cradled her form against his own, kissing her softly on her lips, then her brow, then the crown of her head. As they began to doze, he breathed in her scent and couldn't help but smile as it changed. _No one will ever harm you, beloved... Never again, I swear it... I swear._


	13. Whispers And Arrivals

Rewritten pretty much barely. Cause it's pretty good just like it is.

_**I do not own Inuyasha. You should see him pout and sulk though when I make him the bad guy in stories.**_

_**Ivy**_

**Chapter twelve;**

Whispers and arrivals 

She slipped from her room silently and made her way to the field they called "Rin's garden" as quickly as she dared. She'd been feeling confined and desperately needed to train and practice. Her father's mate had arrived that day, though they hadn't been introduced. She was afraid of being introduced, frankly, though she never would admit to it. Upon reaching the field she moved from the sight of the palace into the woods and removed her robe so she could practice in her thin sleeping kimono. It was cold, but she was used to the cold. She quickly fell into a rhythm of maneuvers, her mind slipping into meditation, considering what had happened to her over only a few days. They'd arrived, seen an execution, watched a man languish in the elements and seen the woman whose very existence had damned them to a hellish life without their father. She couldn't really put into words what was going through her mind or what she was feeling at the moment, only that she needed to find her center and her control again or else she might do something reckless.

"You keep dropping your left elbow when you move to parry." A voice said from behind her.

She didn't jump, but she froze, trying to place the voice that had just spoken to her.

"I said, you keep dropping your left elbow when you move to parry." The voice said again. She recognized him as Inuyasha, one of Sesshomaru's generals... The man who'd pulled her from the river.

She turned slowly and nodded to him. "Do I?"

He nodded, his intense golden eyes shimmering a bit in the light that passed through the branches of the trees around them. It was only moonlight but it still had an effect. "It looks habitual. Like you've been doing it all along."

She nodded again faintly. "My father often complained of it... I thought I'd trained myself out of it, though..." She shook her head. "I haven't much been myself since I learned of his passing."

"He spent much time with you?"

"He taught me everything I know of fighting and hunting and battle. I think I surprised him when I asked for him to teach me. He'd always insisted his daughters be taught to read and write... To become scholars. He never really said why but I think it had a lot to do with us being half-breeds. He couldn't promise a good marriage for us so he had to prepare us to find our own happiness."

"Why did you want to learn to fight?" He was studying her closely now, though in reality he had only resumed his curious point of observation. He'd stalked her from the time she left the palace, impressed with her silence and amused that she had not heard him, though he'd been incredibly careful.

"Because it seemed something worth learning." She replied vaguely, then smirked at his incredulous look. "Why does any man learn to fight, Inuyasha? So they can face the world without fear. I am no different."

"Not from any man in that reasoning, but sure as hell different from any other woman. Save a few."

She laughed and sighed, sheathing her sword and slipping her robe on again as a shiver passed through her. "I'm not any other woman, Inuyasha. I am Sayoko, daughter of the great Lord of the North, hanyo and entirely, completely free and wild." She said softly, then looked at her sword, tracing the hilt. "Father once said I should have been born a boy. I have no patience for feminine things or womanly duty. I have watched Kagome with Souta again and again and find myself awed with her patience and warmth. My heart was not built to be a mother."

He frowned just slightly. "How can you know?"

She shrugged and tilted her head. "When I was much younger... Just a girl, really, the woman who was my sister and my nurse gave birth to a little boy. He was a hanyo as well. My father had entrusted us with her because she was the lover and mate of one of his most trusted soldiers. The boy was sweeter than I could have thought possible... He captured you up in his eyes and happy laughter and... And I thought once in a while then that being a mother would not be so terrible someday." She paused, meeting Inuyasha's gaze with sadness. It made him twist inside. He wanted to make that sadness go away. "One night he didn't come in from his favorite play spot. There was a small clearing where he would go to play and would always bring home flowers for his mother. He was only seven... When we found him..." She shook her head and looked away. "I know I do not have the heart of a mother, Inuyasha, because in many ways mine is too fragile. He wasn't my son, but I felt as if I had lost my own child. We never learned who killed him, but I can still smell the youkai's scent on him. A pure breed. Probably deciding it was a fun game to disembowel a seven year old and leave him to bleed out for hours."

"Sayoko..." He breathed, fighting his instinct to go to her. She wouldn't accept his kindness, he knew. She was enough like him that he knew. "A gentle heart doesn't make you incapable of that kind of love."

She shrugged and smirked faintly, pushing back her pain, replacing it with defiance. So much like him it made him startle slightly. "I should probably go back." She said softly. "I do not want to hurt my welcome here."

"You won't."

"Oh?" She almost laughed, studying him with her lavender eyes. They seemed lit from within. "You are so certain?"

"Certain enough that I can say my brother would not begrudge a warrior her practice. Once this horde has left the palace, you could practice with Kouga and me."

She considered carefully. "I would like that." She replied, then looked toward the castle. "Though I should go back... Tomorrow will be a big day and I don't want to be weak in front of my father's mate."

"She doesn't have to know who you are, you know."

"I am not in the habit of hiding from anyone, Inuyasha." She said sharply, meeting his eyes in open defiance. "Certainly not that bitch."

He couldn't help but smile. "You definitely aren't someone to mess with."

"No. I'm not. Never have been, never will be."

He smiled in spite of himself. "Come on. I'll walk you back."

------

Rin lay curled next to him still. They knew this morning they had to actually rise, dress and join the court, but it was begrudgingly. Shippo breathed his mate in deeply once again, issuing a giggle from her. "Mmmm, my mate." He murmured, cuddling against her, resting his head on her breasts playfully. He hadn't the heart to tell her of the pregnancy yet. He'd wait a month before he did and would make sure that no one who might know would sound the alarm. Most of all, he didn't want her to become completely attached to the baby in case she lost it.

She ran her fingers through his hair, tracing his jaw gently. "Are you comfortable, Lover?" She murmured, smiling as he traced her side and abdomen with his claws.

"So very, very comfortable." He replied, then gently turned his head and began kissing her breasts worshipfully, slipping his arms around her.

She trembled and sighed softly, letting herself again be lost in her own delight and his. Aside from sleeping and eating for the past few days, all they had done was this. Worship each other and make love over and over and over again. Then even what had nearly driven her to death wasn't forgotten but in the sweet hazy blur of their pleasure and love, it might as well have been.

She moaned as he mounted her, capturing his lips and kissing him deeply. She clutched his back as he took her with a strong rhythm. They would need to be in the main hall after breakfast and as much as she didn't want to go, she knew she had to. It upset her mostly because this morning they could not take their time as they had come to love to do. Instead of an hour or more of building, teasing, playing and final intense pleasure, the pair was rushing themselves. They could have gotten up. They could have just risen, bathed, dressed, eaten and gone, however they always seemed to ache for this when they woke, this reconnection of their bodies and spirits.

He fought back his release until her climax was certain, then pushed them hard into pleasure. She cried out sharply, but breathlessly, burying her head into the corner of his neck and shoulder and he groaned into the pillows. As they pulled away and gazed into each other's eyes it was as it had come to always be. Their eyes met and their afterglow was like a healing balm for all the pain both of them had endured. They could heal what no other person could touch. They could make it all right again simply by loving.

------

The boy was sleeping between them, cuddled against his mother and father intermittently through the night. At the moment he'd managed to crawl halfway up his father's chest and was snoring softly where his head lay near the taiyoukai Lord's chin. Kagome watched the two who meant so much to her sleeping with such placid, peaceful expressions on both their faces. She couldn't help but smile.

Since he'd returned to her, every night and morning had been the same. There'd been so much happening with Rin, with Takaya and then the court gathering from the four corners in their palace that there hadn't been any time for each other. She ached for her love, but she wasn't willing to push and neither was he. They didn't have to voice their need to each other. It had been years since they'd known each other and she longed to be claimed again as much as he longed to claim her.

The whole court had accepted their amorous looks and attentions to each other. They had to. If they hadn't they would have had to face both of them down and the thought, as much as it delighted her love and vaguely annoyed her, terrified nearly everyone. It was not as if they couldn't have found a moment against a hidden wall in the palace, but both knew that wouldn't be enough once they started. When they came together, they would vanish from sight for at least a week and while hiding from court was desirable, hiding from Souta was not. The boy needed them. He still woke in the night from the visions of watching Rin's rape replaying in his little innocent mind. It was the reason he'd begun sleeping between them. They'd woken several times at first in the night from his cries and had found themselves bringing him into their bed and so it had become habit to keep him there.

To her slight horror, it seemed the punishment of Takaya had calmed her son's mind a great deal. He still woke now and again in the night, but the frequency had ebbed and the intensity of his dreams had calmed significantly. She hadn't really voiced this to her mate, though she knew he saw it in her. Her view of Souta had been of a pure, innocent child who would have to be taught his father's trade, but it seemed he was more his father's son than she'd originally thought. As she watched him sleeping on his father's chest, his fingers twining in the long free silver strands of hair, she couldn't help but smile and sadly mourn for the innocent boy who had gone about killing pine cones to make his sister smile. Takaya had killed two of her children's purity that day and it sickened her.

She felt his eyes on her and looked to meet her lover's amber gaze. "Hi." She whispered and he smiled, laying out his arm for her as well. She curled against him, repositioning Souta so he was completely lying on his father's form so she could curl against her mate's side. "My Sesshou..." She whispered, kissing his shoulder as his arm wrapped around her.

"What were you thinking on, pretty mate?" He murmured, kissing the crown of her head, speaking softly so he did not disturb his son's slumber.

"Mostly you and Souta and how completely peaceful the two of you look when you're sleeping." She smiled and gently rubbed the boy's back, adoration in her eyes. "He is his father's son."

"Does it bother you... That he is so driven by his instincts?"

"No... I knew that he would be in time. I had only hoped that it would have taken longer for them to activate in him, but after... After everything it isn't surprising. Perhaps I just wanted our son to be a baby a little bit longer than he was."

"He is still only a boy, Love."

"Yes, but his heart has been hardened. When you left for war he got it in his mind that he should be strong for me and Rin and Satori. I thought nothing of it... It seemed natural for him to do so. But then... Perhaps the reason what happened enraged me so much... Made me lose control so completely was because in the course of one action done to our daughter and son, everything pure and safe and innocent in them that we had worked so hard to preserve was torn away and there was nothing I could do to stop it... I was just as helpless as they were."

"It was as if it had been done to you." He murmured, watching her response to his words. She tensed and shuddered, then nodded. "I felt the same way... I feel the same way. I hadn't intended on beginning Souta's training for another few years so he could have the childhood I never did, but... I realize now that he needs to be trained. He needs to learn to fight simply because he... He might be a child, but he's quickly making his way to becoming a man and as much as I wish he would stay a boy a bit longer... He will not."

She nodded and pressed closer to her beloved, closing her eyes half way. He ran his claws through her hair and sighed, a faint smile gracing his lips. His family... What was in his embrace was what he'd always searched for, longed for but never known he was looking for until it was suddenly there and he needed to seek nothing else out. _This is peace, here with them right now. This is what I fight for. This is what I would die for. This is all that matters._

------

He led Rin to their seats near the front. Sesshomaru's generals were all near him and Rin was near her mother with Souta on her lap. He'd made sure to tell those who might scent and say something to her about the baby, even Souta who just gave him a funny look but had shrugged and promised not to say anything about Rin's "funny smell." Sesshomaru had gotten this strange look on his face somewhere between uncontrollable pride, joy and worry and Inuyasha and Kouga had only laughed and hit him hard on his back. Satori had been standing with Kagome when he'd gone to her and both women just smiled this knowing happy smile.

"You know, she'll realize it sooner than you probably will want her to. You should tell her within the next couple of weeks, Shippo." Kagome had said softly.

"I... How?"

Kagome laughed softly and hugged him gently, Satori still standing with that serene smile on her lips. "One thing we are all very conscious of is our bodies, Shippo. Given a few weeks, when the child is more of a presence, I promise. She will just know."

He nodded, feeling slightly dizzy and worried. She'd kissed his cheek and sent him to his seat, shaking her head. "He'll be fine." She'd murmured to Satori.

"Yes, he will be." She smiled and then took her daughter's hand, ascending to their places.

Hitomi and Sayoko entered the hall and found a place to stand that was out of the way. Sayoko fussed over a sleeve of her kimono and then her obi. She was graceful and exotic in her beauty, but she was not used to being in such a feminine style of dress. All of her confidence faded painfully away and she felt more naked than she would have actually _being_ naked. Hitomi had braided her long golden-red hair back half way and she had begrudgingly not torn the pale blue ribbon away and let her mane fall in wild waves. Her kimono was incredibly simple but it was that pale blue simplicity that had drawn many of the male's eyes to her. As well as her timid vulnerability.

Hitomi took her hand and met her older sister's gaze. Fighting and battles terrified her. She couldn't fathom how Sayoko could run into the fray of war without a second thought. But this... This kind of place terrified the tall, exotic girl. She spoke with her sword. Without the blade she felt vulnerable and lost. However, here Hitomi thrived. Her coy, mischievous nature, well cultivated beauty and speech and manners... If it had not been for her hanyo status, every man in the room would have dropped to their knees and begged for her attention. Sayoko's beauty was different than anything seen in either the human world or the youkai one. Hitomi's was classic and entirely youkai. And she knew it. And she knew very well how to use it. Her father and his guard who had raised the sisters along with his human mate had allowed them both to understand how they would be seen in youkai courts and the human world. Sayoko hadn't cared but Hitomi had absorbed the fact as if it were gospel.

And, as the girls stood out of the way, Hitomi was as aware as Sayoko how many eyes were on them. Namely the eyes of their saviors, Inuyasha and Kouga. Hitomi met Kouga's eyes and smiled faintly, coyly to him. Sayoko refused to look anyone in the eyes, instead finding something very interesting about the grains of the wood in the floorboards. Inuyasha smiled halfway, seeing the shyness of Sayoko. She certainly hadn't been shy the night before while she practiced. It wasn't that she lacked confidence... It was that she was uncomfortable in her skin and that he could easily identify with.

From the back doors swept the Lady of the Northern Lands along with her retainers. She walked to Sesshomaru and bowed to him, kneeling. "I am Lady Sakura of the Northern Lands, here to surrender my claim to you, Lord Sesshomaru of the Western Lands upon the final wishes of my fallen mate."

Sesshomaru raised a brow at her words. "I was not aware this was his final wish. This is a court called to decide such a matter."

"Before he left to war he was very specific of what should happen with his territories should he die, great Lord. And should his sons follow him in battle." She procured a scroll with his seal. "Everything in this document is in order, Lord Sesshomaru, as put in place by my Lord before he journeyed to defend this country from the invading forces. It does my mate great honor in his death and me in life that I should present it to you as he had asked of me. It is my final gift to him."

Sesshomaru stood and took the scroll. "Rise then, Lady Sakura. You are greatly honored here and welcome in my home."

The Lady stood and bowed low to him. Sayoko and Hitomi watched the woman with slight fear of her. They wanted to run before she noticed them. They would not bring dishonor to this good Lord and Lady who had done so much for them. As the Lady Sakura turned to go to her place in the crowd, her eyes fell on the girls and they froze. Sesshomaru frowned, hearing the low growl from the Lady before him. Sakura stalked over to the two hanyo girls who had been so careful to keep themselves out of the way of the court and out of her line of sight to no avail.

"I know those eyes..." She murmured, advancing on them. "I _know_ those eyes..."

Sayoko pushed her sister behind her, looking prone and suddenly frightened. Sakura had been focused on Sayoko. Sayoko who was so much their father's daughter. Every feature was a feminine, though more human, reflection of the Lord of the Northern lands. Sakura hadn't even acknowledge the younger girl who was so much a vision of her mother, though both girls shared their father's eyes. "Stay back..." She hissed, but it was more of a pleading sound than threatening.

Sakura growled. "Who are the two of you and _why _are you here?"

"I am Sayoko and my sister is Hitomi. We were sent here by our father to take sanctuary."

"Who is your father?" She asked cruelly, meeting the tall hanyo's eyes threateningly. When she did not respond, the woman lashed out and cut her down with her claws.

Sayoko fell to her knees, snarling and clutching her shoulder as she bled. She was not quick enough to stop the Lady of the Northern Lands before she caught Hitomi by her hair and was snarling in her face. "Tell me now! Who is your father?"

She was aware at the advancing group behind her, four men that none would wish to confront or be faced with, but she did not care. She _needed_ to know so she could validly wipe her dishonor away.

Hitomi yelped as the woman shook her by her hair, causing her scalp to bruise and bleed in areas. "Lady, no good can come from knowing..."

"You don't need to say it... You have his eyes." She snarled and began raising her hand, claws readied. Before she could lower it, her arm was caught not by any of the men behind her, but by the girl, Sayoko, who stood tall and enraged before her.

"Let her go or I will _break_ your pretty wrist." She growled, meeting the surprised woman's gaze. "It doesn't _matter_ who our father was, Lady Sakura. He is dead and that is all you need to know."

Sakura released Hitomi and lashed out with her other hand, claws bared, aiming for Sayoko's face. As her hand bore down, her wrist was caught by Inuyasha. He looked to a surprised Sayoko, then to Sakura. "They haven't done anything to you, Lady."

"They _exist_ and that is enough!" She snarled, trying to fight against the two hanyo who held her. "Your kind are the dirt beneath my feet and here you stand, regaled and protected!? Why would my Lord have given his lands to such a weak and pitiful lot!?"

Kouga growled and moved to help Hitomi stand. The girl leaned on him gently, trembling at Sakura's words. "He was right about you... Seeing you only a few moments ago, I thought perhaps it was only his fears for us that made him think you so very small... But he was right. He knew you'd kill us just for spite and pride!"

"Little slut!" Sakura cried out. Sayoko drew back, letting Inuyasha hold her, disgusted and slowly losing her control over her temper. "Both of you! Little bastards who don't deserve to draw breath! Your kind should be wiped from the face of this land forever!"

There was a physical tension throughout the room. Sayoko flexed her clawed hands again and again, her lavender eyes suddenly flashing with rage. "Enough." Came a soft voice very, very near her. Sayoko flinched as a small hand took hers and looked to see Kagome. The Lady smiled faintly to her, though her eyes were full of pain and anger. She met Sayoko's gaze, then Hitomi's, then Inuyasha's, finally her mate's whose eyes kept flashing red as he fought to control his rage. She moved to him and put both hands against his chest, drawing his gaze to her where it swiftly calmed. "She's a poor lost woman who felt her beloved mate die and lost her sons. No matter what cruelty is in her, that pain is there first. No one could feel this kind of hurt unless there was love there to begin with." She turned her gaze to Sakura who looked ready to claw into her.

"I don't want your pity, filthy human." She spat out, tears streaming down her face. Inuyasha held her bruisingly, making her wince.

"Inuyasha, calm." Kagome murmured, then again met the woman's eyes. "You might not want it, but you have it. You might hate me and my son and all those else that my mate and I have taken into our fold. This once you will be forgiven because you've lost so much, but if you ever speak such slander and cruelty where my son can hear you again or threaten the safety of those who hold sanctuary here, I promise you that you will fall before my Lord or his generals can even cross the room to reach you. Take solace. Heal. Find some peace."

"You _threaten_ me, human?"

Kagome smiled faintly and shook her head, meeting Sakura's eyes again with intent. It was a look that sent chills through the court and frightened those near her. "No, Lady Sakura. I promise you." Slowly she began to build and draw energy from the elements around her to the degree that a soft white aura was visible around her only to emphasize her point to the woman. Sakura's eyes widened and almost bulged slightly at the sight of her. She felt some part of her aura sizzle and shock before Kagome dispersed the energy away and back to its original place.

Sakura looked down, defeated. Her retainers moved to her, to escort her back to her room.

Sesshomaru moved to his mate and gently rested his hands on her shoulders, capturing her gaze with his own. Pride, warmth and love rested there. Slowly he leaned to her and kissed her lips fervently and smiled faintly as he felt her relax against him. He then looked to the two hanyo girls who Kouga and Inuyasha were tending. "Take them to their rooms to be looked after and then return to court. There is still much to do."

His brother and Kouga nodded and escorted the girls back to their rooms, not looking back into the startled, silent hall and not really caring to.

------

She watched him as he cleaned the claw marks on her shoulder, diligently keeping his eyes on her wound. She'd had to push down her kimono enough for him to bandage her. It was at this moment that she was glad she'd bound herself before slipping into the kimono. Her rather boyish figure wasn't so boyish when she did not bandage her breasts down to her chest and it bothered her. When she'd developed during puberty, she'd found her new femininity had forced her to rediscover her center and binding herself made that easier.

Inuyasha carefully finished bandaging her shoulder, then sat back, meeting her eyes. "There you are... Is there anything else I can do?"

"Could I ask you something?"

He nodded, smiling faintly. "Anything."

_Anything..._ She mused and smiled to him. "You really put yourself open to anything..."

He shrugged and chuckled. "Ask your question. Might have an answer."

"When did Lady Kagome get so scary?"

Inuyasha couldn't help but laugh, and not just a chuckle or controlled laughter, he roared with it, doubling over slightly.

She frowned and poked him in between his ribs, making him jump and fight back his laughter. He shook his head. "I'm sorry... That just hit me wrong..."

She sighed and smirked. "So... What's the answer?"

He shrugged, wiping the tears from his eyes. "She's always scared me, just for other reasons. But lately... I think it's been a combination of nearly dying and having to rely on her powers to save my brother and her from death, what happened to Rin and Souta and just... Kagome understanding who she is and the kind of powers she really possesses."

"I've heard whispers... Of what Takaya did to Rin with Souta watching. I can't imagine..." She murmured and looked down at her hands.

He smiled faintly and reached out to her, taking one of her hands hesitantly. Her slender fingers wrapping around his rewarded him. He looked up and met her eyes. "You could have a home here, you know? Not just a sanctuary. Both you and your sister."

She felt a faint heat in her cheeks, looking at their hands held together. "I know... I... I'm afraid, though..." She blushed even deeper, never being able to admit her fear to anyone. Not even her sister. She pulled away suddenly, shaking.

He watched her with vivid amber eyes, realizing exactly what she was going through. The vulnerability and weakness that came from actually saying those words could be overwhelming. He reached out and caught her cheek gently in his hand, caressing her jaw with his thumb. She trembled and he couldn't help but smile. "It's alright to be afraid so long as you don't let it rule you."

She blinked and found herself leaning ever so slightly into his touch. Her lavender eyes flashed and she felt panic rise up in her chest. _His eyes..._ Her mind began to spin slightly and she snapped back into reality, again, moving from him. "You said I could ask you anything... Can I ask you another question?"

He nodded, frowning slightly at the tone she was using to speak to him suddenly. "Of course."

She thought out her question slowly, taking care with her wording. "I've barely even gotten here, but I've noticed a few things... So has Hitomi. It's confusing us and you're confusing me even more right now... The way you keep looking at me..." She paused, meeting his eyes as she found her strength again. "Ever since we got here with you and Kouga, it's been plain as plain that you're both in love with Lady Kagome... And she has said as much that she loves you both as brothers..."

He frowned faintly. "Yes... Your point?"

"If you're so in love with her... Why are you pursuing me?"

Her words stunned him into a deep silence. He stood and went to her window, looking out at his brother's land. Why was he? He didn't think he'd ever move on and here was this girl... This hanyo girl so much like him and so completely unlike the woman he'd come to love in Kagome but he knew he'd never have. Why was he pursuing someone so completely different from her when he loved her so deeply? It had only been a few days since he'd met and saved her from the river and here he was looking at her in a way he thought he could only have ever looked at Kagome. _It's like I'm letting her go... It's like... It's like I've moved on and I hadn't even realized..._ He looked to Sayoko with intense and emblazoned eyes, studying her before he spoke. "You aren't anything like her. Even if she were to learn to handle a sword, she'd never be a warrior like you and me... She can handle herself in battle and is incredibly powerful, but I can't trust myself when I fight beside her not to leave my own fight to be by her side if she even is _remotely_ in danger." He approached her and drew her up to her feet, holding her arms gently, making sure not to aggravate her wound. She trembled, her eyes flashing with nervousness and slowly becoming overwhelmed with his presence. "I always thought I wanted someone to protect... To be their safety and rock... But that's never brought me anything but pain and heartache. Then I met you and you're just... You're so strong and sure of yourself. I know if I were to go into battle with you, I wouldn't flinch. I'd be able to trust you not just with keeping my back, but also with your own safety and that... That has me bewitched. You have me caught up in you and I find that I don't care. I don't mind... So long as you never go away."

She shuddered and blushed deeply, resting her hands on his chest and allowing her gaze to swim in his. She felt the same way. It was strange but she could actually say that she'd loved him from the moment she'd met him. "I promise not to go away... If you'll promise me something."

He smiled faintly, slowly leaning to rest his brow against hers. His smile deepened when she didn't pull away. "Anything."

_Anything..._ Again the thought overwhelmed her. "How can you do that?"

"What?"

"Open yourself so fully to me... You barely know me."

"Can't explain it..." He murmured. He breathed her in gently. "I just trust you."

She smiled and trembled, pressing her self a bit closer to him. "Can you... Can you promise me no matter what you won't treat me like some fragile creature?"

He chuckled and let his arms fall, wrapping them around her waist, one hand falling on her lower back. "I promise." He breathed and leaned to her ever so slightly, brushing his lips against hers.

She softly, slowly pressed her lips to his and sighed achingly as he captured her lips and mouth in a deep, passionate kiss. A jolt ran through her and she responded to his kiss with as much passion and heat. She wrapped her arms lightly around his neck, letting her fingers tangle in his long silver hair, sighing.

He clutched at the small of her back, pressing her flushed to his form, smiling into the kiss as he felt how perfectly they fit together. He lay her back onto her bed, feeling her arch to him as he rested atop of her, deepening their kiss.

She felt as if she couldn't breathe, but didn't want to unless it was into his mouth. They clung to each other, helpless against the torrent of need and desire between them. He was supposed to go back to court, he'd been ordered by his brother, but he didn't care. He needed this beautiful warrior woman beneath him and he didn't intend to leave her until both of their needs were satiated. He broke their kiss, reaching to her obi to untie it. She trembled, watching his face as he began undressing her, knowing his intent. Did he love her? Did he even care about her? Certainly he cared... He was so tender with her and had protected her... But did he love her? Did it matter to her? She moaned and arched, falling away from her thoughts as he reached down, caressing the soft embrace between her legs. He smiled and continued to stimulate her, readying her. When he sensed her near, he removed his hand, tracing a claw along her bandages, cutting them away from her chest and revealing the ampleness of her form. He leaned in and kissed her breasts, snaking his arms around her back, pulling her completely from the folds of her kimono.

She wrapped around him slowly, shivering in pleasure at every kiss and touch she received from him. He broke his contact with her just long enough to disrobe and press his form to hers, skin to skin. He moaned softly at the feel of their bodies together, wanting to complete their union more than anything else in that moment. He captured her lips again, smiling as she returned his kiss heatedly. As she wrapped her legs around his hips he thrust into her fully, issuing a cry from her into his mouth as he tore through her innocence and claimed her for his own. He scented her tears, wincing that he had hurt her in his own need and swore to make it up to her. He kissed away her tears, gazing into her eyes as he began a slow, sensual rhythm, one he knew would draw pleasure from her easily. She whimpered softly at first, then moaned breathlessly, arching and moving with him in rhythm. He pressed his brow to hers and grasped her hands, pinning her gently. Her sounds, scent, very presence was so perfect and beautiful to him. Taking her, mating with her was something he'd never felt with Kikyo. Part of Sayoko, the feral part, responded to him equally as did the human aspect that showed such tenderness and the sparkling beginnings of love. He knew he didn't love her yet, not as he should to have been doing what they were doing. He felt love for her and knew in time it would only deepen, though he had no intention of saying so until he was certain he could say so with his whole heart. She deserved to have his whole heart, not only half of it. She deserved to have him completely as he knew he had her.

He didn't think to pull from her as they climaxed together. He was too caught up in their union, in every single sensation between them. As they spiraled together in pleasure, he captured her lips and groaned softly, reveling in the music of her cries. When they had finished, he held her to him, tracing her trembling form with infinite tenderness. He met her eyes with warmth and a kind of worship that startled her. "I don't want to leave you right now, but I have to. I promised my brother." He murmured, kissing her again tenderly.

She nodded and returned his kiss with the same tenderness, her fingertips caressing his chest. "I will see you later?"

He chuckled and sat up, gazing down at her. He ran his fingers through her hair and nodded. "You can be sure you will see me a great deal more often from now on."

She blushed and curled onto her side, her eyes still on his form as he dressed and cleaned up to return to court. Before he left he covered her with a thin blanket and kissed her brow again fervently. She shuddered and grasped his hand with hers. "You... You don't..."

"Sayoko..." He murmured and met her eyes, gripping her hand. "Don't ask me to say what I can't rightfully yet." He reached out and caressed her cheek and kissed her again. "I'm falling in love with you. I know you already love me... And I'm honored by it... It's why I want to make sure I am worthy and completely sure before I can say those same words to you. When I can, I will be asking you a question. A very serious question."

"Anything..." She breathed and felt dizzy as he smiled at her.

_Anything..._ He thought. He leaned in and kissed her once more on her lips, then her hand. He released her and stood. "Rest for a while. I'll be back after court."

She smiled and curled a bit more under the coverlet and watched him as he left her.

------

_Where is that damned brother of mine?_ He thought, vaguely annoyed that Inuyasha hadn't returned with Kouga. Negotiations were going slowly and it bothered him that one of his most trusted generals wasn't there with him. When he entered, some of the tension left the Lord's shoulders. Inuyasha sat next to Kouga who raised a brow at him in question. Inuyasha scowled and turned his attention entirely to the proceedings at court.

Court did not end until well into the night and once it did and the youkai had left him with his inner circle, Sesshomaru stood and walked with purpose to Inuyasha who was firmly ignoring the look he was getting from Kouga. "I thought I asked you to come directly back here."

Inuyasha growled faintly and stood, meeting his brother's eyes. "I'm sorry... I had intended to."

"Got a little distracted, did you?" Kouga asked crassly.

Inuyasha scowled and then internally kicked himself as Kagome approached, raising a brow at his expression. "You look like a child caught with his hand where it shouldn't have been, Inuyasha." Kagome said softly, looking at the man who had become more of a brother to her than anything else. "What took you? Sesshomaru needed your support."

"I got here, damnit!" He backed away, noting the slight smirk on Sesshomaru's face. _Kami... I hate this! _

"Temper, little brother." Sesshomaru said softly with amusement in his voice. Even Shippo looked ready to laugh but he didn't, going to Rin instead who was playing with a sleepy Souta.

Kagome looked at the three men before her and knew instantly she was missing something. "I'm wondering when I am going to be enlightened as to what in Kami's name is going on here." She said softly. Her words were greeted by a chuckle from her mate to which she elbowed him in the side. "I don't have a sensitive nose, Love. You best remember that or else I promise you that you will go wanting."

He shot her a glance and Inuyasha fought back a smile at the panic that flashed through his gaze. "You would not."

She tip toed up and kissed him gently, her eyes mischievous. "Oh, beloved, I would. Gladly."

He sighed and looked to his brother in mock sympathy. "I am sorry for having to betray you, Inuyasha, but..."

"Oh spare me!" He growled and walked away, frustrated.

Kouga burst into laughter and ran his fingers through his hair. "This is priceless... We could draw this on forever!"

"Let me in on the joke, please?" Kagome said, finally reaching her limit of irritation.

Sesshomaru chuckled and hugged her gently. "Calm, Lover. It is only that we know where Inuyasha was."

"And he was..." She continued, looking up at her beloved with sparklingly playful eyes.

"In Sayoko's bed and arms from the scent on him." Sesshomaru said, still laughing softly.

The play fled from her face and she pulled back, worry replacing the mischief. "He... He was with her?"

Sesshomaru frowned and watched her, not having expected her reaction. From the look on Kouga's face, neither had he. "Yes... Why does this bother you?"

"Not for him, for her, Sesshou." She said simply, meeting his gaze. "She just lost her father... Her whole world. Everything she knew was torn away from her and when I look at her... I see myself when I made the wish on the Shikon no Tama. You saved me that day, Love. I owed you my whole life after you carried me out of the forest and to safety. I don't know if you realized then how easily... How simple it would have been for you to have taken advantage of that fact even that first night or any of the nights of the new moon when you came to sit with me after I left. You waited until I came to you and asked you first, Sesshou. Giving that time ensured that I didn't make you into a mistake... Because if I'd given in sooner, you would have been a mistake to me because I wasn't ready until that point. Neither Hitomi nor Sayoko are much different than I was right now. I want Inuyasha to be happy but I don't want Sayoko to wake up and realize she gave herself to him for all the wrong reasons."

"Kagome... I hadn't realized." He breathed, beginning to grasp what she was saying.

"She might love him even now... Kami knows I loved you... Ached for you to be near me... Even in the beginning, but giving myself to you for comfort... To make my own pain dull would have been wrong. Sayoko, I am certain, didn't know what she was doing with him, Sesshou. And sooner or later she will realize this... And they'll both be hurt."

Sesshomaru frowned deeply and embraced his mate, running his fingers along her back softly. He looked to Kouga who took a step back and put his hands up. "Hey! I didn't do anything!" He said in his defense. That wasn't true. He'd kissed her. Then he'd pulled back because he'd realized she wasn't ready. Knowing Inuyasha, even if he had noticed Sayoko's delicate state, he wouldn't have realized it and done what was necessary to ensure both of their safety. The hanyo was far too passionate and ruled by his emotions even now after he'd learned to control himself so well. From observing Sayoko, the girl who was so much like Inuyasha and seemed such a perfect match for him, she also was ruled by her emotions and passions, which could lead to disaster, he suddenly realized. "Damn..." He cursed and frowned.

Sesshomaru sighed faintly. "Lets hope he didn't do any permanent damage..."

Kagome didn't need to confirm what he was saying. He meant that he hoped Inuyasha hadn't impregnated Sayoko. "No matter what, we'll deal with it together. Just like we have everything else."


	14. Everything And Nothing

_**Rewritten just slightly. I am nit-picky, so bleh!**_

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not ever. Not even if I beg and plead and try to bribe people with candy.**_

_**Ivy**_

**Chapter thirteen;**

**Everything and nothing**

She was running as fast as her legs could carry her. Running because she had to. Running because staying would mean more than she was ready for. Running meant freedom as well as fear. Running meant that she could find a place to hide. Shortly after he'd left, she'd begun panicking. She'd sat bolt upright in her bed and looked at her hands, scented the blood from her broken virginity and completely realized what she'd done. _I gave myself to him because I was hurting... I used him... I used him and I don't even know if I really love him... I don't even know if he really could ever love me... He even said he was falling in love with me, but not to ask him to say that he was because he couldn't... And neither can I... Not really... Not so that it would be forever..._

She'd found a stream and crossed it, then found another that came up to her waist and had begun wading down stream as far as she could before she began to freeze, then started again on land. She was doing everything she could to keep from being followed by him or the others... Even Hitomi. _Hitomi... Sister, forgive me... But they'll take care of you. They'll look after you and I won't worry. I pray you can forgive me... Kami, help her forgive me._

Before she'd left she'd changed into the clothing Lady Kagome had promised her. She'd bound her chest tightly and wrapped her hair back away from her face. She looked more masculine now, though she still was very feminine. If she spoke, there would be no doubt. A sudden weariness slowed her and she found a branch to rest on. She drew her knees to her chest and shivered softly. Her clothing had dried from the last river she'd crossed, but the chill had remained in her body. She rested her head back against the tree and looked out over the countryside and felt herself begin to weep. _I couldn't stay... I couldn't. Not when... Not after everything. I can't be weak. He makes me weak. He makes me afraid of loss and loneliness and... I can't be weak. Not in this world. Not ever._

She shuddered and stood, beginning to run again. She was so tired. So incredibly tired. But she had to keep going. She'd find a place to rest, a cave somewhere and then keep going the next morning. She'd run through the day and dusk was setting on the land. She ran for another hour and found herself an abandoned cave. After sniffing around and assuring herself that no one would be joining her in the middle of the night unless they were also wayward travelers, she rolled out her blanket that she'd brought with her and set about making a small fire to keep herself warm at the mouth of the cave. She'd brought no food. It would mean that as soon as she woke she would need to eat. Her mind was on nothing but food. Nothing but filling her belly even though she felt no real hunger. She knew she would in the morning though. She settled down, curling beneath the blanket, looking into the low burning fire. _Hitomi will be alright... So will Inuyasha. He doesn't even really love me, right? He'll forget me and will move on and I'll... I'll find my way alone. It's for the best. It's all for the best..._

------

"What do you mean she's gone, Inuyasha?" Kouga asked sharply, frowning. The hanyo was completely agitated and mildly incoherent. "Start from the beginning."

Inuyasha took a slow breath. His brother and Kagome were looking at him with worried eyes, also vaguely confused by his words. He tried to collect his thoughts better and keep his hands from shaking. "I went... To Sayoko's room and she was gone. Her window was open and she was gone. She is gone."

"Are you sure she didn't go for a walk?" Kagome asked softly, trying to calm her friend and brother. "Inuyasha, she could be in the gardens..."

"No. You don't understand. Her scent didn't go that way." He said, knowing very well what he meant but he wasn't going to explain past the point that he'd already done so. "I'm only telling you so you can tell Hitomi. I am going after her."

"Inuyasha, you are being evasive." Sesshomaru said softly, meeting his eyes, noting the panic and worry that shouldn't have been there if she'd just left her room or run off to let off some steam. "What makes you so certain that she has left and why does it matter? I understand, as does Kagome and Kouga that you had amorous relations with the girl, however what is uncertain is why her going to find her own space has you so vexed."

"Look. I don't have to explain this to you." He snarled, falling back on his old stance of evasion and hostility toward his brother.

Sesshomaru went icy, also reverting to his normal stance toward Inuyasha. "You do. You are my general and if you go you will be abandoning my side during a time when I need your presence if only to demonstrate your support to those in the court. Without you here, it will be seen as a weakness."

"Enough." Kagome said softly and made a physical movement as well as emotional one between the two brothers. Too many times it had come down to this. The brothers often postured and also often tried to kill each other in the past. It never did any good. It only caused further aggravation and pain. She looked to both men and sighed. "Sesshomaru, Inuyasha certainly has a reason for being so upset. He certainly has a reason for wanting to go after her. Inuyasha, Sesshomaru has made a valid request of you. Tell him why you need to go and you can go without his ire."

Both men looked defeated. Kouga was glad that this kind of confrontation only occurred in relative private. If it happened in court, Kagome would appear to be in the seat of power even more than her Lord. It wasn't the reality in terms of governing, however... _She certainly has the upper hand in the dynamics of how my Lord handles his personal life and where his emotions rest in his decision-making._

Inuyasha took a few moments to respond. "I know because there is blood on her scent and it did not follow her into the hall. Even... After she shouldn't be bleeding this much. And she left without even telling Hitomi. She just got into her everyday clothing... The things you had made special for her, Kagome, and jumped out her window. Her scent went toward the gate. She's upset... Hurt... And she stands to be hurt even worse alone out there."

"And that's it?" Kagome asked, meeting his eyes, feeling the tension in Sesshomaru who now stood behind her, snaking his arms around her waist.

"Yes.

_Liar._ She thought, but did not voice her suspicion. She had always been able to read him. Read most people, actually. When she managed to turn off her naiveté she could easily see the signs of deception. She met his eyes with intent. "Are you sure?"

_Damnit, Kagome, why do you make me lie to you?_ "Yes." He said again, watching as she visibly winced. He met his brother's gaze. "Will you let me go now? You gave her sanctuary. Doesn't that mean you should care if she lives or dies?"

Sesshomaru growled and pulled Kagome tightly against him. "Take Kouga with you. Bring her back for her own sake. Return here tomorrow before court. I will postpone gathering until the evening."

"She's had a full day to run! What if we can't find her by then?" Inuyasha asked, snarling slightly.

"Then you come back and you go out again the next day once court has been released. Tomorrow is the final day of discussion. After it you only need to return once you've found her. I will not be seen as weak, Inuyasha. The safety of my children, mate and lands depend that I do not show any weakness. Even if it is not my own personally, do you understand? Not even if it is the weakness of my own brother."

He nodded and bowed his head in submission. He hadn't meant to bring so much trouble on them all. Not now when it was so important that nothing went wrong. _But she's carrying my child... And she can't even know it yet. She couldn't scent that on herself..._ He hadn't expected her to run. He hadn't expected having to hunt her down. But she was bleeding from her shoulder and alone... Vulnerable. He nodded to Kouga and turned toward the door, hearing him follow.

Kouga followed him to Sayoko's room. He instantly scented what had the hanyo so riled but there was no time for him to go back and confirm Kagome and Sesshomaru's fears. Inuyasha was out the window, tracking her before he even could say a word.

They ran into the forest, following her scent to a stream, across it, then further down. Inuyasha was easy enough to follow, though from the look of it, Sayoko was trying to make sure she was not as easy to track. Once they reached another, deeper stream her scent disappeared. Inuyasha paused, frowning. "Kouga, run along this side. We'll keep going until we pick up her scent again."

"Inuyasha... Maybe she doesn't want us to find her. Maybe it's more than her just wanting to have some space..."

"She doesn't get to." He snapped, snarling, meeting Kouga's gaze. "You aren't a fool. You know why I need to find her."

"And what if she doesn't want the child when you find her? What if she doesn't want you?"

Before he had a chance to react, he was pinned to a tree, Inuyasha's claws digging into his throat. He looked as if he was at his breaking point. After a moment, Kouga was dropped to his knees. "What happened was a mistake, Kouga. I know that. If it ever should have happened, it should have happened much later... When she'd healed and there was real love between us. But we made the mistake together and now there's a child between us and I know, at least for me, that child is not in any way unwanted. I do not love her. Not the way I should. But I could and I know I will if we can only give it a chance."

Kouga nodded, gently rubbing his throat. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to upset you Inuyasha."

He shook his head. "Make it up to me by helping me find her. Get on the other side of the stream and run until you find her scent or I do over here."

Kouga stood and nodded, then crossed the stream and the two of them ran until they found her scent again. It took a while, but once they did it was easy enough to follow. Shortly after dawn they had tracked her to a small cave out of the way and fairly well hidden. The girl's instincts were pretty good. It seemed as if, without her even knowing it, she'd discovered a den for herself. She wasn't there. Most likely she had gone out for something to eat, but from the look of the fire and her remaining bedding, she intended to return. The scent of her pregnancy was only stronger now. Inuyasha felt a shudder run through him as he scented her blanket. "We should wait until she returns." He murmured. "We have time before the council reconvenes."

Kouga nodded and sat a bit away from the entrance and smirked as Inuyasha joined him. No need to spook the girl. Hopefully she didn't notice their scents before she entered. Kouga had the feeling that he'd be hurt by both of them if he had to tackle her.

------

She smiled faintly as she walked back to the cave. Her hair was wet from her bath and she had decided upon not binding herself for the day. She felt rather... Tender as it were and had decided that she didn't need to go anywhere at the moment. The den was safe and warm and she could easily be safe there for the winter. She carried with her the fish she'd caught and the last of the berries and nuts she could find that were in the sleeve of her cloak. She didn't even notice the scent of the two males in her den until she was already at the entrance. She was thinking of going back out and collecting more food after she'd eaten. She would smoke more fish and dry the fruit she gathered and go and find some vessels to fill with clean water.

Then she froze. Broken out of her reverie. Golden and blue eyes were on her. Piercing eyes. She dropped the food and turned to run. All of her instincts said run. Run away as fast as she could... As fast as she was able. Males would hurt her. They would trap her and harm her. She'd been so consumed by her instincts, her feline instincts, that the human in her did not consider that the hanyo was only following his instincts. To protect his mate and their child. To ensure she was safe, well fed and cared for. So it was that when he wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her firmly against him that she did the only thing that she could. She fought.

Not as a warrior fights. Not as she would have had she been in battle, even if she'd been sparring. She was too panicked for that. She clawed and bit and squirmed in his grasp, yowling and hissing at him when he would not release her. He wrestled her to the ground and held her there until she calmed which was longer than either of the men had expected it to take. Finally she rested against him with her back to him, whimpering and aching from straining in his grasp.

He nuzzled into her neck, gently nipping her ear. Kouga left them. He knew they had time to get back to the palace before the evening. Inuyasha could take his time calming and reassuring her. The girl had gone feral and he needed the time to do what was necessary to bring her back. Inuyasha breathed her in, kissing the nape of her neck at the scent of their child already strongly and completely held within her. He smiled as she pressed back into him, trembling, whimpering softly. Almost mewing. He let his hand rest over her belly, gripping softly.

"Are you with me, Sayoko?" He breathed into her hair, shuddering when her hand covered his.

"Yes, Inuyasha..." She breathed, finally relaxing in his arms. "Why did you follow me? Why did you come for me?"

"Because... Because I want you with me, Sayoko. I lost someone I loved because I was too foolish to tell her how I felt when I felt it. I won't make that mistake again... I want you, Sayoko." He murmured and slowly turned her to face him. He met her lavender eyes, noticing the confusion in her gaze. "I want you to be my mate. I want you to be mine completely. I want you to love me. I want to love you. Please, Sayoko. Don't run away from me."

Tears fell from her eyes and she pressed her brow to his. Her slender, slightly calloused fingertips traced along the features of his face. "I was afraid... I had to run..."

"Why?" He reached up and softly brushed away the saline crystal rivers.

"Because when you love someone... When you really love them, the world takes them away from you. In the cruelest ways. I can't remember my mother, but I remember I loved her. I loved my father. I loved Taro... The son of my adoptive mother... If I love you, Kami will take you from me and I'll be alone again."

"Kami won't take me from you, Sayoko. You still have Hitomi and I swear I won't ever leave you, I promise." He leaned gently to her and brushed his lips against hers, only proceeding when she responded, meeting his lips. He smiled faintly, slowly, softly kissing her deeply. She sighed and curled into his arms, trembling. She felt him sit up, holding her in his lap, freeing her hair only so he could run his fingers through it. After a moment, his hands resting at the small of her back, he broke the kiss and met her eyes. "Come back with me, Sayoko? I won't leave you alone here and my brother will hunt me down if I don't make it back for court." He ran a hand through her hair, caressing her cheek. She leaned into his hand and blushed faintly. "I'd hate to make him my enemy again... And I know you'd be more comfortable in my bed. Or any bed in the palace for that matter."

She trembled and nodded, leaning forward, pressing her brow to his. "Take me back... I'm sorry I ran away like that... I just... I was afraid and... Suddenly it was like everything inside me was demanding that I leave and hide from you."

The corners of his lips twitched. He remembered Kirara when she'd disappeared to give birth to her kittens. It made a kind of sense to him. She was hanyo. But her father had been a cat youkai. Her instincts where to hide, to protect her young from both the world and the father. From him. "I think I know why... You have to promise you won't run away, though, alright?"

She frowned faintly and met his gaze. "That is an ominous request..."

He couldn't help smiling. "Just promise me."

She nodded, the frown falling from her face. She felt like it was impossible to be angry with him. "I promise."

"You ran... Because you're carrying a child, Sayoko. Our child. Your instincts made your fear only compound and so you ran." He felt her tense and gently grasped her wrists more to help steady her than to keep her there. After a moment she leaned into his form, embracing him. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her gently. "It will be alright." He breathed into her ear.

She nodded and clung to him. The knowledge of her pregnancy made sense to her in a way that seemed to abolish a good portion of her fear. It also calmed her. It calmed her because part of her had been afraid to give herself to Inuyasha completely, to allow her heart to fall for him entirely because she feared that he would never be completely hers. Now she knew that he was. He'd come for her... He wanted her and their child. "Take me home, Inuyasha... I want to go home with you." She whispered and smiled faintly as he stood and cradled her in his arms.

He walked out into the woods to find Kouga. The two met eyes in a meaningful look and then began to run back to the palace. They only stopped once for a mouth full of water, but then continued until they were at the palace only an hour before the sun set.

He carried her to his room, not daring to wake her. On the run back she'd fallen asleep in his arms, only pressing tighter to him in her dreaming. He lay her on his bed, smoothing her hair from her face before removing her outer clothing and covering her with blankets. She stirred and breathed in the scent of his pillow, then drifted back into the depths of sleep. He couldn't help but smile and leaned down, kissing her brow gently. _You're safe. You'll always be safe with me, I promise._ "I'll be back, Love." He breathed, then left the room, making his way to the court.

Hitomi cut him off halfway down the hall, a frown gracing her lovely brow. "You... You took my sister and sired a child in her... I just need to know something, Inuyasha..."

It was the first time since he'd met the girl that she'd not spoken with eloquence and poise. She seemed overwhelmed. "Whatever you want to know, Hitomi."

"What are your intentions with her?"

"To love her and the child she carries, Hitomi. And, in time, to make her my mate and companion if she agrees to have me. This isn't the way I wanted to be with her. I wanted to take things slower. I knew I wanted her... I knew that loving her completely would be as easy as breathing so I tried to hold my breath as long as I could to be sure, absolutely sure I was what she wanted too. Sometimes what we want isn't what we need... And we both needed to breathe."

Hitomi raised one of her delicate, perfectly formed brows and smiled crookedly. "Pretty words. Make them real, ok? If you don't, I promise you that my sister's steel will be the least of your worries."

Inuyasha nodded and bowed, blessedly with holding a smirk. "I promise..."

"Don't promise. Do it." She said and then turned to walk away.

He chuckled and sighed, then went to the main hall and joined the court. Sesshomaru nodded to his brother and Inuyasha nodded in return. He took his seat, completely aware of the azure eyes on him. He'd tell her later. She might be disappointed in him. She might not be. But for the first time he didn't care what Kagome thought of what he did. All he cared about was Sayoko. All he cared about was them and the life they were beginning to build brick by brick.

------

Kagome stared at him intently and processed his words. She was perched on Sesshomaru's lap after court had been dismissed and found her self-fighting back a smile the whole time. Her lover caressed her thigh and hip softly as he also listened. Slight trembles passed through her now and again and she noticed that each tremor brought a smile to her Lord's lips. She knew once the court had disbanded tomorrow to return to their own homes throughout the lands that they would not be able to hold back any longer from each other. Rin and Shippo had already agreed to mind Souta for them while they sequestered themselves away and together for however long it would take for them to come down from the height of their need. The boy had also been prepared and, though he petulantly accepted that mommy and daddy needed time together, the thought of being able to spend time with Rin and Shippo delighted him.

As Inuyasha finished telling them about his and Sayoko's situation, Kagome noted how confident and sure he was. He was expressing himself as well as he ever did, but he wasn't flinching away from his feelings and the truth that they were expressing. She met his eyes warmly. "I think you're more in love with her than you really know, Inuyasha." She said softly.

He smiled. "I don't want to get too ahead of myself. I don't want to ruin anything that might be just because I already know what I want."

Sesshomaru nodded, his lips curling into a smile. "Go back to her then. Let her come to her own realizations. She will in her own time."

Inuyasha smiled and nodded, then turned to return to his room.

Once he'd left the Lord of the Western lands abandoned any propriety and slipped his hand up his mate's side and captured her lips in a deep, heated kiss. She sighed and moaned softly, pressing tighter into his embrace. Kami, he wanted only to take her again and again until they both collapsed in exhaustion. Weeks of lying next to her after two years of not having her at all had been more torturous than he'd expected. It only being for his son's sake that kept him from pinning her every moment he could and ravaging her. He broke the kiss slowly and gazed into her flushed, beautiful face. He caressed her cheek, tracing her jaw and shuddered in delight as she smiled at him. "I am taking you to bed." He whispered huskily.

"What of Souta?"

He smiled with mischief in his eyes. "Already with Rin and Shippo. I asked them to play babysitters early because I knew very well I wouldn't be able to hold myself back tonight... And I don't want to. I want my mate."

She glowed and trembled, tracing her fingertips over his face. "I want my mate... So much... I ache for you."

He needed no more prompting. He stepped to the balcony, ignoring Takaya where he was still chained to the courtyard stones and flew them to their room, landing in their courtyard. Within a moment they were in their room and he shredded away the rich silk kimono that she'd been wearing. She didn't even protest his action and laughed as he tore away his own clothing. He clutched her sides, kissing her passionately, pressing her against a wall. She moaned and returned his kiss, wrapping her legs around his hips as he pulled her up against him. He spun them and pressed her into the soft cushions of their bed, groaning in need as he scented her arousal. Her fingers slipped into his hair, gripping softly with urgency.

He broke the kiss long enough to gaze into her eyes, smoothing strands of ebony night from her face. He wanted to see her delight as he took her. He needed to see her eyes light up in their union. She smiled into his gaze, caressing his jaw and throat. Gently he took her hands, weaving their fingers and gripping their palms together, he thrust hard and deep into her. She arched to him and shuddered, a low, musical moan slipping past her ruby lips. He growled and gently took her throat in his mouth, feeling her submission before he began a steady, strong rhythm, making sure to hit every point within her. He groaned as he felt her grip softly around him and he gazed into her eyes again, losing himself in her, in her beauty and the achingly pure sounds of her cries, breathy pants and his name as it slipped from her lips over and over again.

She lost track how many times they climaxed together that night and morning. Her mind was a swirling torrent of pleasure, lust and love. It wasn't long before there was only him in her mind and her aching desire that he never stop, that they never break from each other. She could have lived the rest of her eternity in his arms and him so firmly embraced within her. Finally, worn and tangled together beneath torn sheets and blankets, cradled against his chest, they found their rest. He kissed her lips fervently several times, never deepening the connection past chaste tenderness, but it was enough to send ripples of pleasure and warmth through her. He pushed her long hair from her face and gazed into her sleepy eyes, smiling. He would leave her soon to go and bid the court goodbye. He had no desire to leave her, but he had to. When he returned he would curl around her and allow himself to join her in sleep, but for now, for this moment he was sated watching her drift off.

"I love you... Sesshou..." She breathed, finally falling into dreams.

He smiled and kissed her once more, not yet ready to pull away from her and dress. "I love you, my Kagome." He breathed and took in her scent. After a few more moments he untangled himself from her and covered her carefully with what was left of the blankets. He smirked to himself. _The casualties of war seem to be one bed and two very fine garments._ He dressed slowly, his eyes never drifting far from her sleeping form. Reluctantly he left her to go to the courtyard and bid the court on their way. Takaya would be executed in a little over a week... If he survived that was. The snow was coming. He could scent the storms in the air. He smiled faintly and thought of the sleeping woman he'd left only a few moments before. _Even more reason to be close to you... We need to keep warm._

------

She stirred slowly and smiled faintly at the weight of an arm around her waist. She turned slowly and looked over at the man beside her. His face was soft when he slept. Soft and peaceful. His silver hair fell wild around his face and blended slightly with strands of her own fiery mane. She was still partially dressed and this bothered her faintly. Inuyasha was still dressed as well, his form laying over the blankets he'd lain her beneath. She leaned forward and caught his lips, kissing him awake slowly. He blinked confused amber eyes at her, then smiled.

"You can't be comfortable..." She murmured, pushing some of his hair away from his face. "Undress and join me under the covers, Inuyasha."

He seemed mildly surprised. "I... I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable... Or more uncomfortable."

She blushed and softly pressed her brow to his. "I'm uncomfortable because I can't feel you against me."

He blushed as well and then nodded, disrobing completely and joining her under the blankets. Once he'd slipped next to her, she pushed the remainder of her own clothing away and, tentatively, she lay against his chest. A shudder ran through them both as their skin touched, their bodies conforming against each other almost instinctually. He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her brow softly. "Better?"

"Much." She breathed and wrapped her arms around him gently, resting her head on his chest. Her lips fought to move and her voice ached to speak suddenly. _I love you... I love you so much it scares me._ "Inuyasha?" She breathed, trembling.

"Yes?" He replied, already falling back asleep. He'd gone two days without rest and his body was screaming at him. He needed sleep.

"Do you really think you could love me?"

His eyes flashed open. "I know I could." _I know I do._

"If... If it wouldn't be any trouble... Could you pretend you already do?"

She sounded so vulnerable, so frightened. He worried about the tone of her voice and so he met her gaze. He found fear but also hope and need there. And a certain something else that frightened him suddenly. When she'd ran, he'd naturally assumed that his original deduction that she was already in love with him had been presumptive. Now he wasn't so sure. He wasn't sure he was ready to tell her... Wasn't sure how she'd take it. But she was asking him to lie to her... "I won't pretend anything. I won't lie to you, Sayoko."

She seemed to break at that and began to cry. He wrapped around her and tried to calm her. "I won't lie, Sayoko. Not when the truth is what you want. And why would I pretend when I already love you?"

She froze and then shuddered, looking up at him with hopeful but frightened eyes. "You... You love me..."

He nodded and kissed her softly. "So much it frightens me... I barely know you... But I feel like you've been with me from the beginning. I love you, Sayoko. I think I've always loved you."

She shuddered again and her tears resumed. She began to trace his face and body with trembling hands. Her eyes looked frightened but overjoyed and her lips trembled, almost forming into words. Finally, her voice freed from its restraints. "I love you too... I love you so much... And I'm so scared... I'm so scared of losing you and living without you... You're what I've been searching for... You're my home."

He trembled at her words and clutched her against him, as if trying to merge with her. "Sayoko..." He breathed, kissing her again passionately, letting his hands wander along the whole of her body, memorizing her in the same way that she was memorizing him. He laid her back and sought out her throat, kissing along her jaw and neck. She slowly arched her throat to him, allowing him to take her into his mouth, shaking as his teeth bore down on the tender flesh only bruising slightly.

For hanyo, claiming and mating is more a matter of promises than actual bonding of auras, however there is a fragile link that can be created if both parties completely submit to each other's energies. As he claimed her, so did she accept and claim him and the weak youkai energies that flowed through them merged and accepted one another and bonded. It was so slight, neither really noticed on a conscious level, however their souls, their hearts did recognize the implications and it was that recognition that completed their connection.

He released her throat and captured her lips, kissing her heatedly. Damning his exhaustion, he ignored the desire and need for rest and gently mounted her, slowly, tenderly making love to her. They spun and reveled in the magic of the soft and tender union and when they climaxed together, it was as if more than pleasure passed through them and overwhelmed them. It was the knowledge that, after years of being in the world, denied, hated, shunned and aching for love, they'd found their haven in each other.


	15. If You Ever Believed

_**Rewritten a little bit. Cause the monkey is pissy.**_

_**I do not own Inuyasha. I don't even own anything that remotely is related to Inuyasha.**_

_**Ivy**_

**Chapter fourteen;**

**If ever you believed**

Sesshomaru and Kagome had been absent for the whole of the day. They'd sequestered themselves in their rooms and courtyard and had left strict orders that, baring the injury, kidnap or sudden death of their son or invasion of the palace, they were not to be disturbed. Their meals were to be brought to them on time and that at that time the staff was to knock. If they did not receive an answer within ten minutes, they were to leave and only return at the next meal. A guard was placed outside their room in the event that something other than food was desired and also to keep those who were either too young (Souta) or too stupid (Jaken) from invading their privacy. This list of rules were to be adhered to until said couple left the tranquility of their den on penalty of death or great pain, depending on which mood their Lord was caught in upon the disturbance. Jovial or amorous. Amorous would result in death while jovial would only result in great pain. So far Souta had seemed fine with the arrangement. He was having a wonderful time spending his day with his beloved sister and brother.

They had decided on a picnic in Rin's garden and to watch the men spar together. Hitomi and Rin sat with Souta along with Sayoko whom Inuyasha had promised to spar with only if she agreed that there would be no actual contact or touch. Hitomi had scowled at him when he'd finally given into his mate, to which he'd only shrugged.

"She won't be hurt and neither will the child. She doesn't expect me to be a gentleman and I don't expect her to be a Lady."

Sayoko had smiled at his words and Hitomi had sighed, shaking her head. "What if she's hurt anyway?"

"Hitomi... Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not as fragile as you are. If I fall or... Anything like that, I can't imagine it doing any harm." She'd blushed as Inuyasha snaked an arm around her waist. She leaned back into him and sighed at the kiss placed at the nape of her neck.

She was nearly his height and so as she leaned to him, he was able to support her with the whole of his frame. "You are anticipating I will not make it to catch you if you did fall?"

"No, I'm trying to placate my sister and pacify her worries." She murmured, covering his hand with her own.

She sat next to her sister, watching her beloved spar with Kouga and Shippo, fending off both of them at once. They were only using wooden practice swords, but still it was an impressive display. When they'd finished, Inuyasha removed his outer shirt and sat next to her resting and catching his breath. She gave him a cup of water, which he drank slowly, then lay back with his head in her lap, gazing up at her with his intense but amorous amber eyes. She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair and along his ears, tracing them gently. He smiled in return and took her hands, kissing her palms in turn.

Kouga stood back and watched the exchange with faint envy and also happiness for his brother. The man had gone through enough loss to last a lifetime. He deserved to have someone he could love entirely and who would entirely love him in return. The wolf yelped faintly as Shippo got a good hit in. He jumped back and scowled.

"You're off in your own world, old man. Having trouble keeping focus?"

"You wish, kitsune." He snarled and reengaged Shippo with full intent of winning the sparring match.

Hitomi watched the wolf youkai with curiosity. He'd kissed her a few nights before, catching her completely off guard. Shaking her even more, he'd turned without another word and left her room. He'd said nothing more of the encounter to her, leaving her frustrated and confused. She'd not really said anything to anyone about the incident and hadn't had enough time alone with Sayoko to even voice the occurrence. From the look of her sister with Inuyasha, she doubted there would be a moment to any time soon. She sighed, feeling faint envy for the happiness Sayoko seemed to have stumbled upon in the roguish, rugged, temperamental hanyo who lay with his head in Sayoko's lap, holding her hands in his own.

"When do I get a turn to play, Love?" She murmured to Inuyasha, squeezing his hands gently.

He chuckled and sat up, drawing her into his lap. "When Shippo and Kouga finish. I don't want to chance getting you caught up in the fray. When they fight... Sometimes things get a little bit bloody pending on whose winning."

"What do you mean?" She asked, gently pressing her brow to his temple, breathing him in.

He rested his hand over her abdomen gently, smiling boyishly. She felt herself spin slightly at that smile and promised herself that she would cause its existence more often. "When Shippo's winning, Kouga gets nasty and takes cheap shots. When Kouga's winning, Shippo gets sneaky and tends to find a way to sneak in a killing blow. Either way it's smarter not to get in between them when they're fighting."

"Do they do the same with you?" She murmured, kissing his jaw gently, again reveling in the innocent, happy smile that graced his lips so naturally.

"They try." He replied and turned to meet her eyes, reaching up and pushing some hair from her shoulder. "They succeed sometimes."

"The great Inuyasha admits it finally?" Shippo laughed as he rolled away from one of Kouga's blows.

"Baca..." Inuyasha scowled, not even looking toward the kitsune.

Sayoko laughed and kissed him gently, feeling him smile against her lips. "You don't have to win all the time..."

"Sometimes when you win, you lose." He murmured, hugging her gently to him, breathing her in deeply.

"What do you mean?"

He sighed faintly. "It is a long story."

"There's still many hours in the day."

He smirked. "So there are. Where would you like me to start?"

"Where you won and lost." She murmured, gently running her fingers through his hair, playing with several strands in her fingertips as he began his story.

"Her name was Kikyo." He murmured, the name foreign to his tongue now and bitter. "And the day that Kagome sacrificed her whole life to give us happiness I both won everything I thought I ever wanted and lost the first person who had ever accepted and loved me for my whole self next to my mother."

"I... I don't understand... How did Lady Kagome sacrifice herself?"

He slowly recounted the whole story to her and, by proxy, to Hitomi. How Kagome had come from another time, fought along side him, loved him and, eventually, sacrificed her family and home just to ensure his happiness with a woman who didn't really love him. "That day I was given this incredible gift... I was a part of humanity and I had the mate I'd believed that I'd always wanted... But it all fell around me when I understood that I'd given up Kagome entirely. I'd let her walk away not just that moment, but long before and completely when I should have held onto her. Kagome loved me and I... I was a fool."

"That is why you both speak each other's names with such reverence..." Sayoko breathed, meeting his eyes with faint fear.

He shook his head and kissed her deeply, lovingly. "You don't have anything to be afraid of, Sayoko. She and I weren't meant to be otherwise we would have been. My brother makes her happy. I don't think any of us could have anticipated that outcome. He tried to kill her a couple times, you know. He almost succeeded too. But now, when I see them together it all makes so much sense. If I'd never met her... If she'd never freed me, then neither one of us would have known her. Who knows what might have changed? Who knows what might have happened?" He met her gaze with love and worship. "What I do know is that I'm glad she came into my life. I've run the gauntlet to get here, but I'd do it again knowing you were waiting for me at the end, my Sayoko."

She blushed deeply and clung to him, breathing him in. He smiled and held her tightly. As Shippo and Kouga finished sparing, he ran a clawed hand through her hair. "We can fight now, Love."

She shook her head and smiled, leaning up and kissing him tenderly. "I'd rather sit here with you for a while."

He chuckled and held her close, again breathing her in. He hadn't known he could be so happy or so much at peace. Even speaking about Kikyo hadn't damaged his serenity with this angel in his arms. "Then we'll stay like this for a while." He murmured and smiled as he felt her nuzzle closer into his embrace. If someone had asked him before he'd saved this girl from the river if he believed in love at first sight, he would have told them they were insane to even ask. Things like that didn't happen except in stories and daydreams and he didn't have time for either of those. But here she was... In his arms. His daydream. His story given form and she was so very... Beautiful. Broken in all the same ways he'd been broken, but in different places. In ways that complimented his own fractures. He'd barely known her a week and yet he couldn't imagine life without her. Some might claim it was only infatuation that it would fade and he'd realize he'd made a mistake. He couldn't let himself believe that. He couldn't because he knew in his gut just exactly what she was to him in the same way he'd known Kagome. The emotion, the feeling was intangible and inexpressible. The fact was he didn't want to put into words how he felt. Somehow it would break the spell, he feared. To define what Kami had sent him in the two women who so completely owned his heart.

------

She paced slowly in her den, worrying her lip with her canine. It had been years since Kouga had allied himself to Sesshomaru, Lord of the Western and now Northern Lands. Years since he'd gone to war along side him. And even longer since he'd spoken anything about what he felt for her. She remembered when Kagome had mysteriously shown up on his pack lands. When he'd returned he'd looked haunted and any progress she'd made in gaining his affections had withered away. How she hated that woman. Her mind knew that Kagome had only come to convey her own well being to someone who would, in turn, relay it to her friends so that she did not have to face them. It had been what Kouga had said to her and she knew he would not lie to her. Not about what had happened. What was in his heart, on the other hand, was another thing.

She knew he didn't love her. He'd never said he did, never led her to believe he might. It was only that her heart wanted him to so badly that she had tried to keep him to his promise. She wanted him and so she'd done everything in her power to make him honor his word. Then he'd heard rumors of Sesshomaru's mating to the miko Kagome and with no more than a few words of parting to her, had abandoned her to her own fate. To the fate of her own making. _I don't love you. I've never loved you. I was a fool to make you that promise and it has haunted me ever since. I know now that Kagome will always have my heart and I must go to her. Whether it's to save her from Sesshomaru or to ally myself to him and become one of her protectors, I am going to journey to the Western lands. You will not see me again, Ayame. I will not return to you. Find another better suited to making you happy._ His words still burnt into her ears and cut deeply into her heart.

Now word had come to her that Kouga had returned to Sesshomaru's court after the war had been won. Not only that, he had saved a pair of cat hanyo, illegitimate daughters of the now dead Northern Lord and one, it was said, held his eyes in a way that his gaze had once been held by Kagome. Her spies had been thorough. They had been careful and clean in their information gathering. _If I cannot have him, I will be damned if I allow some wretched hanyo to claim him. I will kill her first._

She looked to her already packed bag. It would be a long journey, but one she was willing to make. Kouga was hers by his own word and she would not release him from their engagement unless she was to die. Even then she would try to pull him into hell with her. She did not love him. She and Kikyo had that in common. Neither loved the men they obsessed so greatly over. The attachment was only that. Obsession. It caused them to be paralyzed with their grips fixed and their gaze fixated on that one goal. For Ayame, that obsession took the form of Kouga and she would never, ever let go. Even if it was the death of her.

------

Hitomi walked next to him through the woods behind Rin's garden and Kagome's shrine. He didn't speak to her as they walked. It had been his idea and still he couldn't bring himself to utter a word. She was so incredibly beautiful, intelligent and strong willed. Everything he'd never thought he'd have in a mate. Her exotic and yet classic beauty was entrancing but her true beauty lay in her eyes as did her intelligence and strength of will. _Just like Kagome..._ He shook the thought. She wasn't just like Kagome. She never could be and he didn't want her to. Kagome, though intelligent, strong and beautiful, was entirely different. Hitomi was witty and sharp. She didn't bend the way Kagome did, she stood tall and rooted like a tree and her beauty was something entirely different than what he'd originally thought of as beautiful.

Ayame had been his first real glimpse of beauty. She was beautiful still, but only on the surface. Kagome, while beautiful for a human, held most of her beauty behind her eyes and in her soul. She was entrancing to him entirely for her spirit and soul and for those reasons he'd come to love her deeply. Abidingly. Hitomi... Hitomi was both beautiful physically and spiritually. Her soul spoke to him and made him wish to be a better man for her. Her hanyo status didn't even bother him. Not after truly befriending and understanding Inuyasha. By seeing, understanding and accepting the dichotomy of human and youkai within the man he'd come to love as a brother, Kouga had also found he could understand Hitomi. She was passionate, warm, brilliant and still distant, eternal and fixed. Humans were constantly changing, evolving because they had to. They had no other choice but to or else they could never grow from lifetime to lifetime.

For good or bad, he was falling in love with the diminutive hanyo who walked so quietly beside him whom he knew was slowly growing frustrated with his silence.

"Why did you kiss me?" She asked suddenly, stopping and forcing him to turn and look at her as he had walked a few steps before he'd realized she'd halted.

"Because... Because I wanted to." It was the truth but it sounded pitiful.

"Why did you want to?" She asked, studying him with those illuminated violet eyes. They were so much more intense than her sister's and entirely more youkai. If it weren't for her kitten ears, she would have passed for a full-blooded youkai.

This brought him pause. How was he supposed to answer without frightening her away? "Because you... You are beautiful. And intelligent and strong and... I wanted to know what it would be like to kiss you."

"Why did you want to know what it would be like?" She asked, her curiosity peeked. Also it was enjoyable to make him uncomfortable.

He shifted his stance, frowning faintly. He felt dissected by her words and gaze. He felt like she was looking into his soul. "Because I wanted to see... I wanted to know..." His words faltered.

"Yes?"

"I wanted to know what your kiss tasted like." The words fell off his lips before he could stop them.

She trembled and took a step toward him before she could keep her feet from moving. "Why did you want to know something like that?"

"Do you need me to explain?"

"Yes." She whispered, trembling.

It was then he began to understand. The girl had been sequestered from the world, from anyone but her sister, father and guardians. He was most likely her first kiss. Suddenly and for the first time he could remember since his battles with Naraku and Kagura, he felt fear. "Because your scent is pleasing to me... The sight of you is pleasing and your spirit is pleasing to me. I wanted to know if your kiss was pleasing as well."

"But... Why?"

He reached out gently and took her shoulders with both hands, meeting her gaze. He'd never felt so certain about anything. It was instinctual and spiritual all at once. _I wonder if this is the reason Inuyasha was so quick to bed Sayoko... This feeling of completion..._ "Because you seem so perfect to me in every other way, I had to know if you were in that way as well."

She blushed even deeper. "You intend on courting me?"

"If you would allow it." He worried his lip gently, waiting for her response.

She took one of his hands with her smaller ones. Her slender, silken fingers were so small against his it made him want to protect her even more. "I am not my sister. Sayoko is by far more ruled by her emotions and instincts than I am. Though I am happy for her and her happiness with Inuyasha... Even look forward to being an aunt far sooner than I had originally anticipated... I am not strong enough to allow myself to love as easily as she has. I need a better reason than that you simply find me pleasing."

He studied her, aching to see her eyes again. She was so focused on his hand. "How can I prove myself?"

"By giving me time." She answered simply and lifted her eyes to his. "A woman is born in this world with very little to give and yet so much. You took one of those few gifts, Kouga. I'm not so certain I want to give you the rest yet."

He was taken aback and would have pulled away if she did not have such a strong hold on his hand. "I think you aren't giving yourself or your sex enough credit."

"I promise you, Kouga, I am." She murmured, her violet eyes intent on his sky blue ones. "A kiss, an intimate embrace, life to a child. We are born capable of those three things. And to each of those things there are only one time that can be called first. I know we as a sex can learn to do many other things. We are capable of anything. Sayoko and Lady Kagome are proof enough of this... And Rin. As I get to know her, I find she is stronger, more powerful and enduring than she is probably given credit for. Even the Kikyo Inuyasha was speaking of before. But those three things are always there and the firsts always sacred. Is that not why both Rin and Lady Kagome's miscarried babies are enshrined and prayed to by their mothers?"

He nodded, shuddering softly at the gravity of her words. "Yes... Are you upset that I kissed you, Hitomi?"

"No, Kouga." She smiled suddenly, finally releasing his hand. "Your kiss was sacred and is sacred to me... I've thought of it often, actually... And was hurt you'd said nothing of it until now. I thought for a while that it meant nothing to you, but now I know better and am happy that you cherish it as much as I do."

He felt himself relax suddenly as he studied her. "So... If I give you time..."

"If you give me time and court me as you should, I already know what my answer will be when you feel ready to ask." She replied simply and softly. She moved to him and stood on tip toe to kiss him gently.

He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her, returning her kiss deeply, smiling as she gasped and echoed his depth. When he finally broke the kiss, he looked down into her luminescent violet pools and sighed. "I can have patience... Knowing that some part of you is already mine."

She blushed and reached up, caressing his jaw. "Do you make promises, Kouga?"

He nodded softly. "I will make you any promise you ask of me, Hitomi."

She chuckled and shook her head. "With comments like that you might have yourself enslaved to me for an eternity."

"Who said I would mind such a fate?"

She laughed and shook her head. "You shouldn't joke about such things."

"I'm not." He smiled and kissed her again, feeling her melt slightly against him. "What do you want me to promise you?"

"If your intentions ever change, do not spare my feelings. I do not want to be treated like a flower, Kouga. I am stronger than you might think."

"I promise, Hitomi, if you promise me one thing."

She felt herself blush again and nodded. "I will not say anything, for I fear you might take advantage of me..."

He laughed and hugged her closer to him. "Fair enough... Then promise me this if you are able... That another not court you. I am a jealous creature and I don't want to share you."

She smiled and nodded softly, pressing tighter to him, gently clutching his back. "I promise, Kouga. Though you have little to worry yourself with."

He kissed the crown of her head, between her ears. _I hope we both have little to worry about, Hitomi... With any luck your heart will be mine and mine yours long before any distress or distraction can come our way..._ In his mind he thought of Ayame. He'd told her to leave him be, but he felt instinctually that she would be a problem if she caught wind of him even contemplating taking a mate other than her. If he was lucky she would have given up. It had been several years. But for youkai years were like moments. His close quarters with Kagome and Rin, even Inuyasha, had made his pace in eternity slow to theirs. Every moment was precious and pure. These years had seemed slow and crawling while in their presence. Time was sprawling to him now... But it wasn't for the female wolf youkai that felt she had a complete claim on his heart. He wouldn't let her destroy this. He couldn't. He didn't love her and it was unfair of her to hold him to his promise that he'd made foolishly and without thought. She'd only been a girl. She'd been impressionable and young and when he'd made his promise to her, it had been with the intent on keeping his word if only because she was a wolf youkai and he knew it would be easy to imprint himself on her heart so that if he did not find one to replace her, he would always have her waiting for him.

He'd been callous and stupid and for a long while he'd been paying for his mistake. It had been selfish to bind her to him when he'd only intended to keep her as back up and part of him hated that man-child who had taken advantage of such a pure and impressionable youth. But he couldn't take it back. He could only hope she let go. He could only hope she would move on. Some hopes are meant to dissolve.

------

She woke some time in the morning. She knew the sun had to have risen much earlier because its light was beginning to fade from her window. The night before she'd sat up in the gardens talking to Kouga about everything. Her life, her family, his life, his family. Everything that could have mattered.

He'd even told her about the girl named Ayame who was obsessed with him. It had been more of a warning, she knew, but she couldn't help but find some comfort in the knowledge. Not that Ayame existed and was in love with the man who was currently courting her, but that Kouga had cared to tell her and let her know about the mistake he'd made so many years before. He'd been impulsive then and had been cruel to hold Ayame for so long when he knew he didn't love her. That was why he had released her finally. Because what he'd done was wrong and he knew it. It took Hitomi a while to process that fact. The man she was slowly falling in love with was not perfect and yet perfect in all the correct ways for her to love him. She didn't want a perfect man or a perfect warrior. She wanted someone she could trust and stand beside with honor and without fear of losing him.

She sat up slowly and caressed her fingers over her lips slowly. He'd kissed her so many times the night before that she could still feel him pressed to her lips, consuming her mouth as if it were the sweetest he'd ever tasted. She smiled and slowly rose from her bed. She vaguely remembered him carrying her, laying her down and carefully, chastely undressing her down to her thin under dress, then covering her with blankets and dowsing the lights before leaving her to sleep. She walked to the basin and slipped out of her remaining clothing, then bathed lightly, looking over her form. Her fingers traced the thin scar over her abdomen that ran from the curve of her hip across and up to just below her right breast. She trembled.

She didn't remember. She had only been a baby. A newborn. Her mother was dying and the midwife had to cut her free or else both would be lost. She'd nearly been cut in half and had it not been for her father's blood coursing through her veins and the mystic who he had ensured came as soon as it was certain that only one would survive the birth, she would have followed her poor mother into the grave. The scar was a reminder of her mortality and fragile state. She'd told him of it the night before and what it could mean for them. The healer had said that it damaged her internally and that she might never heal completely. She might be incapable of giving birth without following in the footsteps of her mother.

He'd seemed so calm, so steady at her words. He'd smoothed back her hair and kissed her with such tenderness. _By then I should hope we were bonded and true mates... Then you could share my strength and it combined with your own will keep you safe, Hitomi. If you accept me, I intend to sire in you more than one child._ His words had shaken her with their confidence.

She dressed slowly and put up her long hair. It took time to do so. Her mane had only been trimmed now and again to keep it strong and so it fell to her feet in long curling auburn strands. When she'd finally finished, she exited her room in search of some food in the kitchen. Her feet padded lightly and silently along the wooded floor and down the stairs until she reached the kitchens. They made her a small meal, which she ate slowly, contemplating the events of the previous night. It took her all of her control not to simply give in to him even though he was keeping his promise and courting her slowly as she'd asked. There was something wild and engulfing about the wolf youkai that entranced her entirely.

She almost jumped at the feeling of a hand on her shoulder. The kitchen was so full of rich and savory scents, she hadn't scented him approaching her. She looked up into his sky blue eyes and blushed faintly. "I didn't realize that you were hungry too..."

"I ate several hours ago... You weren't in your room so I followed your scent here." He said softly and sat beside her, smiling and watching her as she continued her meal. Long ago he had abandoned the furs of his tribe. He still had them, but living in the castle had its own unique perks. He dressed in dark blue and black clothing and armor that had been commissioned for him by Kagome and Sesshomaru. His hair was usually down and long in thick rolling black waves. He looked more like a Lord and less like a roaming pack leader and the change had at first bothered him. Over time it came to only amused him to see the slightly unfamiliar man staring back at him who shared his face. "How did you sleep?"

She smiled and sipped her warm drink, letting its heat flood through her. The bite of winter was claiming the castle and the night before she hadn't been able to get warm enough. "Very well... I don't think I've slept so well in my life, actually. Or so long."

He smiled and took her hand, kissing it gently. "I hope I had something to do with that."

"You had everything to do with that." She breathed and blushed, leaning to him and kissing him gently.

He returned her kiss and chuckled, pressing his brow to hers. "It took all my control not to stay and watch you sleep."

"Why didn't you?" She blushed deeply as the words left her lips and she turned back to her food, looking at it intently.

He fought back the laugh that was threatening at the back of his throat. He leaned to her and nipped the nape of her neck softly, smiling wickedly as she shuddered. "Because you asked me to take things slowly."

She trembled and leaned into his gentle bites, her eyes closing half way. She heard him chuckle as she gently craned her neck to him as he continued and she shuddered as he drew her into his lap. He was careful to keep himself from her throat, instead capturing her lips in a deep and passionate kiss. She returned it and curled tighter against him. She wanted him and she knew that half of that desire was lust and need, but the other half was love and desire to ever be close to him. She wanted it to be more than just half. She wanted to love him completely before she gave in to him. But, Kami, if he wasn't sweet and wonderful with every touch, kiss and bite he placed upon her.

Slowly he pulled away from their kiss and looked at her aroused form, fighting off his urgent need to take her right there in the kitchen, damn the staff. Her lips were a deep shade of crimson, her eyes heavily lidded with passion and her blush stained her pale, creamy skin. He caressed her cheek and smiled as she leaned into his touch. "We need to slow down..." He whispered, meeting her gaze. "Or else I will not be able to stop and I will not have you regretting us."

She nodded, trembling. Slowly she slipped back to her seat and tried to compose herself. As she tried to draw another bite of food to her lips, her hands shook and she dropped the chopsticks onto her plate in defeat. He smirked and took the sticks, gathering the food on her plate. She smiled sheepishly but opened her mouth and let him feed her. "I feel childish..." She murmured, chewing her food.

He chuckled and kissed her cheek gently. "Let an old wolf have his pleasures, Hitomi. I'm enjoying this more than you would expect."

She blushed a bit deeper, and laughed. "Alright... I still feel silly."

"That's alright. Feel silly." He murmured, feeding her another bite. He couldn't with hold his delight at the simple act of feeding her. When her hands were steady he still refused to give her back the eating utensils. When she'd finished, he took her hands and kissed them gently, meeting her gaze. "Come with me. Let's go for a walk."

She blushed and nodded. "Alright. Where are we walking?"

"Through the gardens for a while. Before the snows come and cover them all up."

"Lovely idea." She murmured, and stood, walking with him. His company calmed and delighted her. She'd been surprised at his pulling away, but it only brightened him in her eyes. He was keeping control when she couldn't. He wanted to take care of her... And that was all she'd ever wanted. To be taken care of and loved and protected by someone she knew she could trust. Slowly she was trusting Kouga, leader of the Northern wolf tribe.


	16. Lifting The Veil Of Deception

_**Rewritten cause I wanna. I must remind myself that just because I have my master's degree in literature, I do not have the right to make up words. I can play with language but I cannot make up words. No matter how pretty look written down or how much fun I have saying them. No right. No right at all.**_

_**I do not own Inuyasha. The puppy-boy brings me presents sometimes in my day dreams, but I do not own him.**_

_**Ivy**_

**Chapter fifteen;**

**Lifting the veil of deception**

Takaya had survived until the day of the first snow. It came two days before the end of his fortnight chained to the courtyard stones. The cold added to the exposure he'd endured for nearly two weeks coupled with blood loss and infection was enough to kill the youkai. When Sesshomaru was informed, he actually seemed rather disturbed by the news. He had wanted to deal the killing blow and was rather surprised that Takaya had died so easily. It only gave credence to his belief that the youkai had been too weak.

By the time that the full fortnight had passed, the Lord and his Lady were still locked away in their rooms and had no intention of leaving. Souta, while often pouting that his parents were having more fun playing together than with him, found joy in the first snow and dragged Hitomi out with him one afternoon to play in the white chilly fluff.

A few days before, Shippo had told Rin that she was with child and since the snows had come, refused to let her out into the cold weather. Inuyasha was equally protective of Sayoko and so it was up to Hitomi to keep the boy diverted. Kouga watched as Hitomi, who was wearing men's clothing for this excursion, played with Souta who was having a wonderful time throwing snowballs at his playmate, giggling every time he hit. It didn't take long for Kouga to realize that Souta wasn't hitting every time because he had wonderful aim but because Hitomi was positioning herself in his aim, anticipating his throws with a kind of tactical and precise action that Kouga had only seen in warriors and on the battlefield. The woman never ceased to surprise him. Dressed more suitably, freed from her kimono, Hitomi possessed an almost frightening grace and dexterity that far surpassed Sayoko's. He wondered idly if the older girl knew that her sister had been trained at some point in the art of war, or at least in combat.

Souta growled in play and rushed Hitomi, who let him tackle her not only to appease the little prince but also to make sure he was not hurt by anything sharp or hard he might fall onto had she dodged. Even with the veil of white, Hitomi seemed completely aware of her surroundings. She laughed and held the boy up with both arms, glowing as she looked up into his eyes. But also there was sadness there, as if she recognized him as someone other than who he was.

"General Kouga!" The annoying voice called from within the palace. Kouga growled and sighed. _Jaken..._ He thought angrily. He didn't want to be disturbed in his revelry. "GENERAL KOUGA!"

"I'm here, Jaken." He said in response, allowing his annoyance to slip into his tone. "What is it that you need me for?"

Jaken looked up, catching his breath. "There is a woman here for you... A wolf youkai named Ayame. She says she must speak to you at once."

"Damn..." He grumbled and sighed, seeing Hitomi sitting up with the squirming Souta on her lap. "I'm going inside, Hitomi. Don't let him get too cold."

She nodded and he knew that she would follow. She was on his heels with Souta next to her. She looked to Jaken. "Take him to his sister, please."

Jaken nodded. He'd come to respect the serene hanyo sisters who had taken up residency in the palace. Though they were hanyo, they were delightful and always respectful. Also he knew them both to be warriors, though Hitomi was very careful to hide her training. Jaken was too old, too experienced to miss it. He was certain the other men would notice in time, however he'd known since the moment he'd seen her walk. Her footfalls were barely present and always placed exactly as they would need to be in order to dodge an oncoming attack.

Hitomi stood near but still at a distance from Kouga as he entered the reception area and came face to face with Ayame. The girl looked road weary but enraged at the sight of him with Hitomi. She looked past him, almost through him at her, judging her and weighing the penalty she might face for killing her outright. She looked frail enough to be easily dealt with, even if it was only in her sleep.

Hitomi took the woman in and sighed, shaking her head faintly. "I can leave if you wish, Kouga."

"No, it is alright, Hitomi. I'd rather you stayed." Came his answer and she felt some of her tension leave her. It seemed to travel into Ayame, however.

She heard footfalls approaching the room and knew exactly who it was that would be joining them. Her sister never did know when to back off. What surprised her was that Kagome and Sesshomaru's footfalls were not far off either. Apparently the amorous couple had decided this was reason enough to emerge. She stood behind Kouga, watching as the little congregation entered the room.

Sayoko moved to her side and took her sister's hand. "Are you alright, Hitomi?"

Hitomi only smiled. "I am alright. She's said nothing yet and even when she does, her venom can't touch me."

Ayame snarled faintly at her words. Sesshomaru and Kagome stood watching the female wolf youkai as Inuyasha moved to stand beside Kouga. "Why is she here?"

"It wouldn't take a genius to deduce why I am here, Inuyasha. But then you are not the most intelligent creature, now are you hanyo?" Ayame replied with cruelty.

Kagome bristled and frowned. "That word is not to be used here..."

Ayame turned on her and snarled. "You do not make the laws of the land, human wench. I am no more afraid of you than I was when you were just a sniveling, weak miko hanging onto Inuyasha like a lost bitch in heat."

"You will watch your tongue before I rip it out." Sesshomaru said coldly and with deadly intent as he wrapped his arms around his mate.

"I am not here to debate these things with you or any of you really." She looked to Kouga and smiled viciously. "I come to retrieve my mate."

Sayoko began to shake suddenly. The scent of this woman... It was so very familiar... She knew it as she knew the scent of her father or sister or mate... _She killed him... She killed Taro..._ She felt her mate's hands on her shoulders and met his eyes. "She's the one... The one who did it..."

Ayame frowned deeply and watched the hanyo girl who Inuyasha was taking such care with. _The one who did what?_

"Sayoko, what do you mean?" He breathed, worried at the look of his mate.

"She killed Taro... Our nurse's son with my father's second... She disemboweled him and left him to die in the forest..." Her words were far off and shaken, but so very, very clear in Hitomi's ears.

Long before, Hitomi had forgotten that scent. The scent of Taro's murderer... The boy she'd thought on as a little brother. It had killed their nurse, the only mother they'd ever known. Until that day she'd never seen a man cry... And then she'd seen both her father and his second in command weep over the dead body of the hanyo child who'd so cruelly been murdered. Her hand went for the dagger at her sister's hip. She always carried it. Hitomi knew where to find it hidden in the folds of her clothing.

She moved faster than any in the room had dreamed she could and with a kind of intent none present knew she was capable of. Before the female youkai could respond, Hitomi cut deeply along her chest and pushed back, snarling. Ayame gasped and fell to one knee, looking up in shock. "I'd forgotten that scent... Thank you, Sayoko, for reminding me."

"You cut me... You whore!" Ayame darted forward to attack, the stunned audience not really understanding what they were witnessing. As Ayame darted forward, Hitomi darted to the side and cut her again, this time along her cheek, marring her beauty. She flipped back and away to the far corner of the room, watching the female youkai gasp and hold her cheek.

"And I will cut you again and again until you fall." She whispered with dark intent.

Sayoko watched in sudden horror. "Hitomi, what are you doing?"

"What father taught me to do, Sayoko. To take our mother's place."

"You aren't making any sense!"

Hitomi sighed and laughed bitterly, directing her attention at Ayame who was again rushing her. "Foolish girl!" She jumped and pushed off of the wall, landing behind Ayame, burying the dagger to the hilt into her back and pushing her flush against the wall where Hitomi had been crouching. She drew a pin from her hair and jabbed the sharp, poisoned tip into Ayame's throat before she again pushed away, drawing her dagger from the woman's back but not the pin. She landed and crouched, watching the female youkai die even though she didn't realize it yet.

Ayame gasped and felt a wave of dizziness overtake her as she pulled the pin from her neck. "What... What have you done to me?"

"It's a very slow working poison. First you'll lose your legs..." She smiled faintly as Ayame slumped to the floor. "Then feeling in your arms..." The sword clattered from Ayame's hand. "Then you will lose your sight..." The woman's eyes clouded over until they were milky white. "And then, the most painful part will begin as your heart begins to cramp and tighten and stall. It could take hours before it finally gives up..." Ayame screamed and writhed in agony, then went still. "But then, you are so very pitiful, aren't you?" She stood and sighed, looking at the bloody dagger and the crimson stain on her hand. "It would have been more pleasing to watch you die slower. Maybe I should have waited for the pin..."

"Hitomi..." Sayoko's voice was weak and confused. She turned to look at the group behind her. Each looked suddenly confused, though Kouga had a slowly dawning realization crossing his features as did Inuyasha and Sesshomaru.

She smiled sadly and sighed, dropping the dagger. "My mother was an assassin long before she met my father. The best. Better than any other human and probably any other youkai assassin. She had been trained by a youkai and so it would not surprise me if such a deduction were to be correct. She had been a sacrifice to him and he'd found such pleasing use for her. She never took pleasure in killing unless it was the kind of pleasure you take knowing you've killed something evil..." She shook her head and sighed. "A lesser Lord to the North hired her to murder my father. He was the first mark that she ever did not follow through with. He shouldn't have sensed her... But he did at the last moment and trapped her. They fought through the night and into the day and by noon, called a truce. He killed the lesser Lord as well as her teacher and employed her exclusively for several years... It was only when she nearly died that he realized he loved her..." She smiled faintly and sighed, meeting Sayoko's eyes. "Father never told you... Had never intended on telling me only that I inherited what you did not... A preternatural grace and ability to blend and merge with the shadows... And her face. He said that it would be my face that would be my greatest asset. And so, by the age of five he was teaching me in secret to be an assassin while in the open he taught you to be a warrior."

"But... Why didn't you ever say anything? Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"He forbade me to, Sister." She said softly, her eyes hardening and the light fading from their violet depths. "Do you remember... Those nights when he would take me out to be fitted for this or that? You always said that you didn't want to go... He always knew you would."

"What are you saying, Hitomi?"

"From the time I was ten years old, he had me killing his enemies, Sayoko. He raised me as his blade, to kill those he couldn't in the light of day. To take the place of our mother after I murdered her."

"You didn't murder her..."

"It was my life that ended hers and he _never_ forgave me for that." She said icily. "I took her away from him and he never let me forget it... So he did the only thing he could do... He trained me to at least take the place of his assassin who he'd lost when I'd been born." She looked at her bloody hand and sighed, the light slowly returning to her gaze. "He's gone and still I am his daughter and his blade... I was foolish to think I could have ended it so easily."

Sayoko slowly walked to her sister and took her bloody hand in her own, meeting her gaze. "He was wrong, Hitomi. This isn't you..."

"It is me!" She pulled away from her, her gaze suddenly wounded. "I am just as much an assassin as you are a warrior, Sayoko! He taught you honor. He taught me to be merciless. He taught me to be an efficient murderer and that is what I am entirely. Any part of me that might have been something different... Something better is dead. She died and was cut away when I was cut from our mother, Sayoko..."

"You're wrong."

She shook her head and frowned deeply. "I am leaving here... I'm going and no one can stop me. Not even you... You've found your happiness, Sayoko. Do not try to follow me because you will fail."

"You can't leave... Please, Hitomi... Please..." She began to weep, unable to hold back her tears any more. She felt Inuyasha pull her back against him. She pressed to him, grasping his arms. "She can't leave... Don't let her leave..."

"It isn't my decision, Love." He murmured and held her tighter as she began to sob.

Hitomi nodded to Inuyasha. "Take care of her." She breathed and walked past them, stopping at Sesshomaru and Kagome. She bowed lowly. "Thank you... For your hospitality and kindness. I am sorry for killing in your home, however... There was justice to be taken."

"Who was this Taro?" Kagome asked softly, leaning softly against her Lord. "I heard most of it, only I do not understand why Ayame would have killed him."

"I do not know either, Lady Kagome... Only that he was a hanyo who might have annoyed her. He was... As I said, the son of our nurse and our father's second in command. He was barely older than your own son before he died. Both Sayoko and I thought of him as our brother. He died horribly... Disemboweled and left to drag himself home... His blood trailed several yards behind him before he finally died... Simply, she deserved worse than I gave her for her retribution."

"Where will you go?" Sesshomaru asked softly, studying the girl who had revealed herself as the cold killer now standing before him. He'd had his suspicions, which were now confirmed, but he'd not voiced as much.

"I don't know. Far as I can, I suppose. Frankly, I do not want to bring any trouble to you. If it were ever to be discovered who I am and what I have done in the name of my father, there would be people who would come for me out of revenge. It isn't safe. For you and your family or my sister and hers."

"Why would anyone ever have to know?" Came Kouga's voice from behind her. He'd been watching her with a kind of curiosity and worry.

She couldn't turn to look at him. She'd stared down her sister... Made her cry... All so she could leave and know that she was safe... Why now couldn't she look the wolf youkai in the face? "Someone would discover the truth in time, Kouga... I refuse to be the reason my sister and her child, or any of you find yourself in danger."

He gently touched her shoulders with both hands. She shuddered, then pulled away but would not turn to look at him. He scowled and grabbed her arm, forcing her to turn and look at him. He knew she could have fought him but he also knew she wouldn't. He met her eyes and gazed deeply into their fiery violet depths. "What if we don't care? What if we would gladly face that? Would you still run away?"

"I'm not running away!"

"Yes you are. You're terrified." He said sharply, gripping her forearm until it bruised.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Kouga... You know nothing of what you're talking about!"

"I know that look and the posturing. I know because I did the same for years. Things got hard. I ran. I had to face what I didn't want to face. I ran. The world suddenly shattered and what I had come to believe was true died in front of me. I ran. And you're running right now."

"Then what in Kami's name am I running from?" She asked cruelly, but she did not pull away from him.

He studied her for a moment and then said what he knew was the very painful truth. "You're running from forgiveness. From love. From the truth. If you'd listen to your sister... To me, maybe you'd hear it."

"Stop it..."

"No." He snarled and threw her to the ground several feet away, advancing on her. He grabbed her by her hair and forced her to look at Sayoko in tears, clinging to Inuyasha, watching her sister intently. "Look at her, Hitomi. Her tears make it easier for you to run. Because you can trick yourself into thinking you've hurt her so badly that she'll turn her back on you and see you as the murderer your father always told you that you were. Did he remind you of your scar and how it marked you? That it was your penance to always kill and never give life?"

"Stop!" Her voice broke as she cried out, trying to fight him. He wrapped his arm around her waist and held her fast, unwilling to let her look away from Sayoko whose eyes only spoke love and forgiveness to her little sister.

"No. Not until you hear me. When you do, if you still want to run, I'll let you go. But not when you're like this. Not when you've decided you deserve to be alone, or worse, dead." He winced as he felt her sob against him. "You didn't murder your mother. You couldn't. You were innocent. You were a baby. Your father was wrong to tell you otherwise. He was wrong to twist your grace and beauty from the innocent girl into the heartless killer, Hitomi. But that girl's still there. She's still within you."

"Please... Kouga... Stop this..." She gasped, beginning to weep. Unconsciously she curled against him, feeling parts of her break away. "I can't..."

"You can, Hitomi. Hear me. Listen to me now." He breathed into her ear, feeling her tremble. "You are more than a killer. You are more than an assassin. What you think of as a mask is really who you are. The murderess that was twisted and darkened by her father is the mask. It's the mask you put on when life forces you to. The real Hitomi is the girl who lay with me in the gardens until nearly dawn talking about her dreams and hopes... How she loved to hear the laughter of children and the way that blooms always are most beautiful just before they let their petals fall away. She's the woman who wept over two miscarried babies she never knew or loved and wept for their mothers, aching for them long after they had begun to heal. She's the girl who, just today, played with a prince in the snow and let herself be hit over and over with white just to hear him laughing and let him tackle her... Caught him and no doubt allowed the fall to bruise the whole of her back just to ensure that he wasn't hurt. I barely know her, but I know I love her. I love you and so does your sister. We forgive you, Hitomi... Even though there is nothing to forgive."

She wept silently against him, covering her face as she did. She shook as he cradled her and held her until the tears passed. "Why... Why would he... Say those things if they weren't true? Why would he have made me into this if it wasn't what I was meant to become?"

"Because he was weak." Came the voice of Sesshomaru. He'd approached the girl with his mate beside him, holding his hand tightly.

She looked up and met the Lord's gaze. "I don't understand..."

"I cannot imagine the kind of pain he was in, Hitomi. He'd lost someone he'd loved deeply, abidingly and completely. If he hadn't, the bond he shared with his mate would have made such a coupling unthinkable, for I know very well that your father loved Lady Sakuya deeply. If there is love between bonded, infidelity is impossible." His voice was soft but still cool. "That kind of loss makes you weak and I believe it was in his weakness that he found it easier to blame you rather than accepting that no one was at fault. He made you into the same kind of assassin your mother was because of that weakness and pain. It is only conjecture, Hitomi... But it is plausible. Loss makes us all mad on one level or another. It makes us do unimaginable things... Think and feel unimaginable things."

She trembled and nodded slowly, beginning to weep again. Her whole soul was caught up in her pain and then her eyes fell on the cooling body of Ayame. She felt as if she couldn't breathe. "Oh... Kouga..."

He turned her away from Ayame and met her gaze. "It was justice, Hitomi..."

"She... You promised... Her..."

"I took my promise back a long time ago, Hitomi. I asked her to move on. She knew I would never love her and still she persisted. She came here for blood, yours or mine. The fact that she is dead now for another crime aside... Truly if you hadn't killed her, I might have."

"What are you saying?" Her gaze was confused and lost. "She loved you..."

"No. She wanted me, obsessed on me. She did not love me. And I did not love her. She came here either to force me into mating with her and claiming her or to kill you. I could see it in her eyes. Somehow she learned of you and that I have intentions toward you and so she came seeking blood." He snarled faintly and then caressed Hitomi's cheek, tenderness flooding his features. "I would have killed her myself if she had even gone to touch you."

She shuddered and looked at him rather dumbfounded. It was a long while before she found words to speak. "You said... You love me..."

He blinked, then smirked. "So I did."

Sayoko found her feet again and walked to her sister, putting a hand gently on her shoulder as she crouched beside her. "Are you... Are you going to leave, Hitomi?"

She looked to her sister, meeting her eyes. She paused, seeing the fear and worry in Sayoko's eyes but also the love and forgiveness and desire for her to stay... "Do you want me... Do you want me to stay?"

She nodded, tears slipping down her face in rivers. "Yes... Hitomi, please don't leave me..."

She pulled her into a tight embrace, running her fingers through the fiery mane of hair that had always set her sister apart as exotic and rare in her beauty. "I won't leave you... I promise I won't... I promise, Sayoko."

Sayoko shuddered and continued to cry, not wanting to ever let go of her little sister. Hitomi pushed her away just slightly so she could meet her eyes. "No more tears, Sister... It can't be good for the baby to have you crying like this so much." She brushed some of the tears from her cheeks and managed a slight smile. "You look like you could fall asleep right here..." She looked to Inuyasha where he hovered nearby. "Take her to bed. She needs to lay down for a while, Inuyasha."

He nodded and gently gathered his mate into his arms. She trembled and curled against him, her eyes already closing half way. He kissed her brow gently. "Come, Love. She'll be here when you wake."

"I will be, I promise." Hitomi murmured and smiled again faintly as Sayoko nodded.

Kouga helped her stand slowly. She nearly collapsed against him as her legs shook. Sesshomaru nodded to him and Kagome smiled warmly. "Take her somewhere, Kouga... I'll make sure Ayame's body is dealt with."

He nodded and gathered Hitomi into his arms, carrying her back to her room. She held to him and shuddered, her tears beginning freshly again. "What can I do?" He murmured as he entered her room, sitting with her on her bed.

She clung to him tightly with a suddenness that caught him off guard. "Just stay with me, ok? I don't want to be alone." She murmured and he nodded.

He turned around as she disrobed and slipped into bed, then curled next to her over the blankets. He pushed some of her hair from her face, studying her features adoringly. She took his hand and gently kissed his fingers.

"What do you see?" She asked breathlessly, her eyes still sparkling with tears.

"A beautiful girl who's been broken so many times she believes no one can really love her if they know her."

She blushed and kissed his palm. "How do you see me so clearly and not pull away?"

"Because no matter how broken you are, to me you are still perfect. You are beautiful and whole in my eyes."

"How can you say that?"

"Because I love you." He breathed and kissed her gently, tenderly. She trembled and pressed to him tightly. "Because even broken you're everything I've ever wanted and more, everything I've needed but hadn't realized."

"The word frightens me."

"Love?"

"No... Everything."

He couldn't help but smile at her words. He captured her lips again gently, running his fingers through her hair. "The same way _anything_ frightens you?" He murmured, pressing his brow to hers.

"Yes..." She breathed, gently clutching at the silk of his garments. "It's so... Encompassing and complete."

"That's the way it should be, Love. That's the way it's meant to be." He murmured, caressing her cheek gently. "Letting yourself love me is frightening, I know... But if you do, the fear will fall away."

"Only to be replaced with the fear of losing you."

"You already are afraid of losing me." He breathed, feeling her start and hearing her gasp. "That's why you let me convince you to stay, Hitomi. Letting go and loving me does only one thing... It means you face your fear, embrace it, accept it and move on and allow yourself to be happy."

She trembled and clung to him, suddenly very aware that a few layers of silken blankets and sheets and all of his clothing separated him from her. She didn't like it. It hurt her almost to the physical level. She needed to be near him... To feel his skin against her skin and have his arms around her so tightly. She needed him to hold her and kiss her and make love to her but she was so afraid. So afraid of doing something wrong, or being wrong, and losing any real happiness with him. She wanted him but she didn't want him. But beyond that, she needed him. All of him. _I.. I... I love him..._ The thought came so naturally into her mind it shook her. It overwhelmed her and paniced her and yet, within it all there was a sudden calm. "I love you, Kouga... I never want to lose you..." She whispered and felt him tighten his grasp on her.

"You... You mean it?" He asked, rather startled by her admission.

"Yes." She breathed and found herself caught up in a deep, heated, loving kiss before she could say another word. She moaned softly and clung to him, her need to be close to him suddenly and achingly overwhelming. As if sensing her desire, he pushed away the blankets and pulled her small, slender form to him, though he was still fully clothed. His hands roamed along her form as he continued the kiss, deepening it as she also deepened her connection with him. She only pulled back when she felt she couldn't breathe any more. She gazed into his eyes, pushing his black hair from his face, smoothing it behind his elven ears. "I need you closer to me..." She whispered, her fingers fumbling with the ties of his clothing. "You're too far away..."

He grasped her hands and pinned her gently to the bed beneath them, searching her eyes. "If I get much closer to you, I will take you and want to claim you, Hitomi." He murmured. "And you asked me to take things slowly. And I promised..."

She blushed suddenly and heatedly. "So I did..." She whispered, arching softly to him, noting how the action affected him. He wanted her badly and she would not resist. She wanted him just as badly. "Do you think we will know any more certainly that we want each other a week from now? Or a month? Or a year? I want you, Kouga... I love you and I feel like I'm going to break apart if I do not feel you against and in me. Time won't make me more sure. It will only make it harder to hold back."

He chuckled and looked down on her perfect, beautiful face. "I don't want you to regret us, Hitomi. I don't ever want you to regret this and us being together."

"I can't. I never could." She breathed, smiling up into his gaze, her arms and wrists slacken where he had pinned her. He slipped his hands up, weaving their fingers together gently, gripping her hands.

"Are you certain you want this now?" He breathed, leaning in and nipping her lips gently. He smiled as a shudder ran through her.

"More certain than I thought I could ever be." She whispered, arching again to him gently.

He shuddered and gently kissed and bit along her jaw, then along her neck and throat. Hitomi shuddered and gasped softly, a heated blush overtaking her suddenly. She arched her throat instinctually but also consciously to his nips and kisses, slowly submitting to him. Only when he sensed her complete submission did he take her throat into his mouth, biting down and claiming her. With a jolt between their auras, their life forces began to bond fast and sure between them. She cried out suddenly and shuddered. As the bonding subsided, Kouga became keenly aware of the sound issuing from his mate's throat. He couldn't help but smile. She was purring. He kissed her tenderly, breathing her in. Slowly he pushed away her thin coverings and looked at the grey-green diamond that had appeared on her torso, just below her breasts. He met her eyes with delight. "I hadn't realized you could purr, Hitomi..."

She blushed, the purring slowly dying back. "Gift from my father... Sayoko did not inherit it as I did."

"Inuyasha's loss... My gain." He murmured, slowly leaning to her chest and the newly formed mark. He kissed along it gently, smiling as his mate began to purr again. Her purr deepened as he began to kiss and caress her breasts. He smiled as she slipped her fingers into his hair, caressing his shoulders and whimpering at the fabric. The sound was caught up in the vibration of her purr, causing him to chuckle. He sat up and disrobed, covering them with the blankets to shield them from the cold of the winter outside. She moaned and purred as their skin touched fully and her fingers traced the identical mark on his torso in faint wonder. "It means you and I belong to each other." He whispered faintly, caressing her cheek gently. He couldn't describe how she delighted him. Her purr alone made him want to caress and hold her indefinitely just to hear that pleasure filled sound. He captured her lips, sighing as her purr deepened. He slipped his arms around her, cradling her and kissing her, caressing her form fully and learning her every curve.

He moaned softly as her claws cut slightly into his back and he lay her back down onto the bed, grasping her hands, pinning her. He gazed into her violet eyes, studying their glowing depths. "You know, those claws of yours are very sharp, Lover." He breathed and caught her smile. "I think I shall have to pin you down through this or I will be torn to shreds."

She growled softly but smiled, arching to him as he positioned himself between her thighs. She opened fully to him, wrapping a leg around his hip. He kissed along her throat, still reveling in the sound of her purr and the way their fingers intertwined together. He thrust into her deeply, ripping away her maidenhood in one motion. She cried out and arched to him, panting sharply into his ear. He could smell her tears and looked down into her face as she slowly adjusted to his presence within her. The look of agony faded to one of peace and pleasure. He smiled and kissed her tenderly, beginning a slow yet deep rhythm. He felt a rush of pleasure through him as she began to purr again, the sound of her moans mingling with the rumbling in her throat and chest as he kissed her and claimed her passionately. She clutched his hands painfully, moving with him and writhing beneath him as he took her with a greater authority now that her pain had passed. Her cries became more breathless and caught up in the echoing purr that refused to abate in the depths of her throat and chest. He captured her lips in a heated kiss, feeling the both of them teetering on the edge of bliss. He held them there for as long as he could, hovering between ache and ecstasy until he could stand it no longer. He pushed them both over and gripped her hands, kissing her fiercely as they fell together, their souls entwined completely both physically and spiritually.

Slowly he released her hands and cradled her form against him. She was still purring, but the sound was lighter and more breathy. She clung to him with an overlying weariness replacing her dexterous strength. He kissed her brow, then her lips gently, meeting her gaze. Her sleepy eyes spoke love and worship to him and he felt himself smile. He'd made many mistakes in his life. Many he could never take back and that he could never be forgiven for. Hitomi was not one of them. Even if she had been, he couldn't regret her. She was more right, more entirely suited to him than anyone else could have been. Even Kagome.


	17. Now And Evermore

_**Rewritten sorta. The big stuff is coming up later, I promise.**_

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never ever will be even if I had a gazillion dollars to try and buy him.**_

**Chapter sixteen;**

**Now and evermore**

Her name was Kagome and she was, now, eighteen years old. She rode along with her mother and father in the wagon, though she sat on the back of it and listened to her father's rich baritone voice as it sang softly to her mother the love songs he'd written for her over the years. This journey was one that they took every year and every year it was always the same. A two-week trek up into the mountains to the Western Lord's palace to visit their friends who had been caught up in immortality. Somewhere in the wagon, hidden by blankets and hay were her two brothers, Kohaku and Inuyasha. They'd all been named for their parent's loved ones and, on these visits, the names became rather... Annoying. Aside from Kohaku, the youngest brother and eldest sister were confused for the Lord's wife and brother constantly when their names were spoken. They were all relatively close in ages. Kohaku and Inuyasha were only a year apart and Kohaku was only two years younger than Kagome. There was a faint chill in the air from the coming winter the closer they came to the mountains. Usually their trips were during the summer, however this year had been different. The Lady Kagome was to give birth to the Lord's second child. According to her mother, it was a long awaited event. For a long while it was thought Souta would be their only child and her rather sudden fertility had surprised them all.

The death of Kaede several years before had been mourned and since then her mother, Sango, had taken up the role of midwife. She was really rather good at it, as good if not better than Kaede had been. And Lady Kagome trusted no one else with her during her labor aside from her mother in law, Lady Satori. Kagome had been asked to be in the birthing room as well, for she had decided she wanted to learn healing and midwifing as well. Kaede had made her mark on the girl, it seemed. As the sun was setting, they reached the palace and were welcomed by a familiar group. Souta was at the lead, as always with General Inuyasha and Lord Sesshomaru. As soon as the cart stopped, Souta was near her, offering her an arm down. As always, she didn't take it and jumped down, landing gracefully on the ground. She'd inherited her father's deep purple eyes and her mother's beauty as well as her claim on independence. She needed no one, let alone a man's help ever.

Souta smirked to himself. "When are you going to start acting like a Lady?"

"I'm not a Lady. I'm a woman. Your mother is a Lady as is your grandmother." She replied playfully, then gasped, almost falling over as Kohaku threw some luggage at her. "Hey!"

Kohaku laughed and threw another piece at her, which Souta caught. He pouted faintly. "Oh come on! I was having fun."

"Your idea of fun is my idea of a reason to beat you senseless." Kagome replied, scowling at her brother. She heard General Inuyasha chuckling as he was talking conspiratorially with her mother and father. Even the stoic Lord had a smile on his face. Her scowl deepened. "I hope I'm not the object of that conversation." She grumbled and shouldered the luggage she'd been thrown, noticing it was her own bag.

Souta smirked. "You're not. I think the Kagome they're talking about is my mother."

"How can you be so sure?" She asked as the pair began to walk into the grand courtyard toward the guest quarters.

"Because there's only one Kagome who can make my father smile like that and she ain't you." He replied and poked her in the ribs, delighting when she jumped.

"If I'm supposed to act like a Lady, I'm wondering when you'll start speaking and acting like a Lord." She grumbled.

"I am. Lords can speak and act however they wish, and I wish to act this way."

"You're hopeless."

"You don't know how wrong you are, Kag." He said wickedly. "I have many hopes."

"Name one."

"Well, namely that I won't have a sister. Sisters are insufferable."

"Thanks."

"I didn't say girls were insufferable, only that sisters are. I have a three twelve year old girls at my heels all day every day and _none_ of them interested in sparring with me. The only time I get any time that I am not dodging that trio and their constant, insatiable urge to braid ribbons into my hair is when you and your brothers are here." He said irritably.

"You usually just pawn them off on me while we're here and I get the ribbons braided in."

"Well, that's alright though."

"Oh?"

He nodded and smiled that wicked smile she knew was only meant for her. "You look good with them."

She dropped her bag and hit him square on the cheek with an open hand. "Damnit, Souta! I just barely got here and you're starting up with that!"

He couldn't help but laugh. He'd always teased her, since they were very little, but the last few visits his teasing had become more and more directed in an area she was not very comfortable with. The teasing had become flirting. "Kag, come on. Why don't you like it when I compliment you?"

"Because when you do, it usually means you're going to either try to grope me or kiss me and I don't appreciate either."

He scowled as she shouldered her bag again and went to her usual room. "You know, one day you'll wish that you hadn't spurned me so often, Kagome."

She smirked and shook her head. "No I won't, youkai prince."

"You'll see." He said with greater determination.

Once she reached her room, she took her other bag from him and threw them on the bed. Before he could enter very far, she turned on him and pushed him back with her finger. "The fact is I am very happily involved with a young man back at home. He's being trained by my father to become a monk since both my brothers prefer the sword to faith."

Her words echoed in his ears uncomfortably. His eyes darkened slightly. "What's his name?"

"Why? So you can say it over and over again for spite?"

"Yes, and I want to know it so I'll know what to call him when I kill him."

She scowled and stared him down. She was the only person she knew of aside from his parents who could do so and she took every advantage of that fact. "His name is Kyo and if you hurt him, or try to, I swear on all I love I will make you pay for it."

"How do you intend on doing that?"

She studied his features. "By ignoring you, Souta, Prince of the Western and Northern lands. By pretending you don't exist."

He felt a pang in his gut and was suddenly ill. "You wouldn't do that. You _couldn't_."

"Let's test that theory." She said and turned sharply, closing the door on him.

He balled his hands into fists, having realized he was being watched. He turned and saw his father, uncle, Sango, Miroku and the brothers of the girl who'd closed the door on him. "Sometimes I think I hate her." He growled and pushed past them, walking to the gardens.

Thankfully they didn't laugh until he was well out of earshot.

------

He curled around her and kissed her gently. She smiled and caressed his face tenderly, meeting his amber gaze. "They're settled?" She asked softly.

He nodded and kissed her again, caressing her distended, pregnant belly, smiling as a hand pressed to his from within her. Only the two of them knew that she carried twins. The thought both delighted him and terrified him. For nearly eighteen years he'd waited for her body to return to fertility so he could sire more children within her. Neither had given up hope that there would be more children, but the court had. There had been so few human-youkai pairings that no one really honestly knew what to expect in terms of fertility. Apparently the span was closer to twenty years rather than ten. "Are you frightened?" He breathed, taking in her scent deeply. He found he hated being far from her for very long. His worry only deepened and he was rather fitful if his duties deterred from him being within arms reach of her. Lately it had been more and more the case that he was in a foul temper for that very reason. She was fragile and weak and confined to their bed. She'd nearly lost the twins once in the fifth month due to a fall. The girls had been playing and left their things out on the steps. Kagome had tripped over them and fallen hard several feet before some servants caught her and kept her from tumbling onto the hard stone of the courtyard.

While she bled, languishing and semi-conscious for nearly two days he'd stormed and paced angrily. No matter how the girls apologized, he wouldn't hear them. They were only children, he knew, and part of him hated that for even a moment he'd wanted to kill all three of them. It hadn't been until Souta had sat and spoken to him that his ire abated. That Kagome survived and did not miscarry the twins also soothed his anger and rage. The guilt he felt for not having been with her made him turn what was left of the anger internally, even when she'd forgiven him. She'd thought it silly to forgive him. She wasn't angry at anyone, just frightened for their children and their welfare. Still, she gave in to him as she always did and forgave the youkai Lord who she loved so deeply and completely.

"I am not afraid so much for myself, but for them... I did all I could to ensure they were well and are well, but I do not know and will not know until they are born how well they truly are." She murmured and curled tighter to him, his arms responding by encircling her even closer. The two days she'd drifted from unconsciousness and waking she had been directing all of her powers to the babies, healing them, fighting to keep their fragile forms within her. It had left her drained and, since most of her energies were already directed toward growing the twins within her and nourishing them, she'd not been able to regain that strength she'd given up to heal them.

"Sango is here. She will take care of the three of you." He breathed, caressing her gently, trying desperately to soothe away her fears. "I told her that there will be two and she understands. She will be ready."

"How is her apprentice?"

"Driving our son insane." He said with a faint smirk on his face. "As she should be. Any woman who shares your name should drive men mad."

She poked him and then reveled in his deep, rich laugh that made his chest vibrate. "You shouldn't curse the girl like that."

"It's the truth."

"I don't like your truth." She jested, then caressed his jaw gently. "Do you think he has a chance at winning her?"

"I think that there's something more she will not face that is bothering her. Apparently she is being courted by a Kyo who is training with her father to become a monk."

"Odd..." She murmured, frowning faintly. "I always thought she held affection for Souta."

"As I said, Love. Something else is bothering her." He murmured. "In the last two visits I have seen her pull from him more and more. I do not understand it."

"I'll speak to her, Love." She murmured, kissing him gently. "It isn't like she'll lie to me or hold back. Especially not when I will be in agony and she will be attending me."

"I doubt your mind will be on the love trials of our son, my heart."

"You never know what madness might overtake me, Sesshou." She murmured, sighing as he ran his fingers through her hair. "I love it when you do that..."

"Thus, why I try to do so as often as I am able." He chuckled and kissed the crescent moon on her brow.

"Love..." She murmured, a sudden strain in her voice.

He frowned, feeling dampness overtake the bedding. "What is that?" There was a metallic scent to the wet that rushed from his mate.

She curled into a knot, crying out. "Get Sango... Now..." She gasped, clutching her belly.

"But... It is too soon... Is it not in a month?" He looked like a frightened boy suddenly, confusion crossing his gaze.

"I think they have other plans in mind... Kami! Sesshou, get her now!" She nearly screamed, panting.

He rushed from the room, grabbing the first servant he could, sending them after the youkai slayer and her daughter. He returned to his mate, trying to comfort her. She had him help her to her hands and knees, the position apparently helping the pain ebb while they waited. A few moments later that felt like a lifetime, Sango, Kagome and Satori arrived. They helped her stand and walk across the private courtyard to the birthing room while servants set about cleaning their bedroom. He followed like a lost puppy, his eyes confused and worried.

Satori took him by the shoulders and had him sit on the grass. "Calm down, Son. The others are coming and will be with you soon. You need to sit here and not come into the room, alright?"

He nodded, distractedly, jumping up when he heard his mate's cries. He stopped when he was pulled to the ground by a strong arm. "Sit with me, brother." Came his second and sibling's voice. He sat and nodded faintly, watching his mother return to his mate. "She'll be alright. Try to keep calm for her."

"I am worried for the children... Kagome can heal herself..."

"Child you mean."

"Children. She carries two." He said absently. He didn't notice the worry as it crossed his brother's features before the hanyo was able to hide it from the Lord's gaze.

"Kagome is strong and so are you. Your children will be strong as well."

"She almost lost them once, Inuyasha. If she wasn't so powerful, they both would have died. I will not be satisfied until I see and smell both of them and know them to be healthy and living."

He nodded faintly and put a hand on the youkai Lord's shoulder. Two decades before, such an action would have resulted in an all out war between them. Now it was as comfortable as breathing. Sesshomaru relaxed faintly and nodded to Inuyasha, one hand going to cover the hand on his shoulder. A few moments later they were joined by Kouga, Miroku and Souta. They were there to wait out the night if necessary as they had been for the birth of his first son who now sat at his other side.

------

Kagome watched as her mother helped Lady Kagome walk around the room slowly. The woman was inspiring to her. She barely cried out with the sharp pains that coursed through her body. Her whole focus was on walking and breathing and enduring. Then her knees gave out as a sharp pain coursed through her and she screamed.

Sango looked to Satori who took the girl from her, leaning against a corner of the room, Sango ready to catch the first child as it was birthed. "Daughter, bring the cloths and water here, now."

She did as she was told and sat waiting patiently. As Kagome pushed the first child free from her womb, another rush of fluid left her as the second child readied to be born. It was evening again. Nearly a full day of labor had passed and still she was capable of the strength necessary to continue. The first child was passed to Kagome and she cleaned him, cutting his chord and clearing his throat. He squalled and turned an angry red in temper. "You and your brother have so much in common already..." She murmured, swaddling the child. She looked up at the Lady. "A son, Lady Kagome."

She smiled, trembling, then worry crossed her face. "The pains stopped... Kami..."

Sango frowned. "They should return, Kagome. Just breathe."

Kagome nodded, trembling. Satori held her a bit tighter, also feeling worry cross her heart.

Hours before, as Kagome had languished in her labor, Satori had listened to her daughter and her daughter's name sake have a rather interesting conversation. It had surprised her that during such a tumultuous time, the woman and girl would have such a conversation.

"Do you love my son, Kagome?" Her voice was weary and still very strained though she'd come to a moment of calm in the pains.

The girl had looked at her, startled. "I don't know what you mean, Lady..."

"You do. Answer me." Tact was out of the question. All she wanted was the answer.

"I... I love him so much as I can afford to allow myself." She'd said softly, her voice quaking suddenly, as if on the verge of tears.

"Why would you hold yourself back from him? Everyone can see how suited the two of you are. At one time your mother and I spoke of nothing else."

The girl looked up in surprise to her mother who confirmed the statement with a nod. "Suited or not, I cannot have him."

"He's the son of the Lord of the Western and Northern lands, Kagome. If you wanted each other, there is nothing you cannot have."

"That isn't the truth." She breathed, tears suddenly rushing down her cheeks. "He's not full blooded. Still he'll live long past when I will wither and die." She choked on the words and shook faintly, covering her face, composing herself slowly. "I'm a curse to him. He can't keep me and I won't damn him to losing me."

She'd refused to speak about it any more and the subject had been dropped as Lady Kagome's pains had returned. They had stopped again, but such talk was abandoned. All that mattered was that the pains returned. The pains brought birth and without them the child would die within its mother. After nearly half an hour of nothing but the ebbing wails of her son and silence, Satori and Sango lay the Lady down.

"Daughter, take the Lord his son." She said softly, her eyes soft but worried.

Kagome nodded. "Is there anything you..."

"Stay out there once you have left and keep the men out." Her mother replied. "No matter what. Enlist the help of your father."

"You... You need to..."

"Yes. Take him to his father and keep them out. Now." Sango said, urgency in her words.

The girl nodded and took the tiny boy in her arms, then slipped from the room. As she turned toward them after closing the door tightly, she was faced with the fiery amber eyes of Lord Sesshomaru. He looked down at the child and took him gently, breathing him in. Then he returned his gaze to Kagome. "Where is my mate and other child?"

"Within..." She said vaguely, diverting her eyes. "Mother said you were to stay out here. All of you. No matter what."

He froze, realization overtaking his features. "They are going to cut into her..."

She nodded slowly and felt some of her fear ebb as Miroku stood beside his daughter. "You need to go and sit down, Lord Sesshomaru. Sango and Lady Satori will take care of them. You know that they will..."

He held his son close and nodded, turning back to sit with his generals and eldest son. Souta's eyes were transfixed on her as well as the door, his gaze fixed with worry. Her heart throbbed softly and she stood, kneeling in front of the youkai prince. He studied her curiously and almost jumped as she leaned forward and kissed his cheek. As she stood and turned away, he frowned. "What was that for?"

She looked back and smiled faintly. "You looked like you needed it." She murmured, then turned suddenly at the scream that issued from the room. Sesshomaru was up and also held by Inuyasha and Kouga and Souta at once, all three still barely able to keep him from rushing into the room. The boy in his arms squalled and it was only at that sound that the Lord calmed and tried to soothe the baby boy.

"Shhh... Shhh, my son..." He breathed, caressing the child gently. She'd never seen such tenderness in him except on those rare occasions when he was mostly alone with his mate.

She turned quickly and moved to the door of the room. She gently placed her hands on the paper and wood and shuddered at the heavy stench of blood from within. _Kami... Protect them. I don't think he could stand losing either one of them..._ She looked to her father as he placed a hand on her shoulder and managed a faint smile.

"They'll be fine, Kagome." He murmured. "If she weren't alive right now, Sesshomaru would not have calmed so easily."

"You call that easy?" She asked, frowning.

"I've seen him out of control. The death of Kagome would send him into madness and he is far from that. What he's fighting right now is his instincts and how overwhelming they are to go and protect his mate and child..." A sudden squall from within the room sent a collective sigh of relief through the group outside and it was only then that she felt safe in slipping back into the room. She closed the door and trembled, seeing the weakened and now bloody Lady curled against her mother, the scar on her abdomen slowly fading into nothingness in the curling faint white light emanating from her slender hands.

Sango was cleaning and soothing the tiny baby in her arms, swaddling it. She looked to her daughter and smiled softly. "The Lord Sesshomaru has a daughter."

Kagome couldn't help but smile as she knelt next to her mother, looking at the tiny girl she held. The baby looked up at Kagome with deep azure eyes. A head of curling silver framed her delicate features and she cooed softly as she calmed. "Souta might not want a sister, but he will not be able to resist you, pretty girl." She murmured, caressing the child's face.

Lady Kagome smiled faintly. "Come here, Kagome, and bring me my daughter."

Kagome nodded and took the infant to her mother. The Lady took the baby and fed her, looking up at the girl beside her after a moment. "Is the only reason that you resist my son because you do not want him to mourn you once you die?"

The girl startled, unable to look away from the twin azure gems that the Lady's daughter had inherited. She nodded after a moment. "And why I decided to move on... And find another path."

"How difficult would it be for you to divert away from your new path if you could be ensured Souta's lifetime by his side?"

She frowned and stood. "Please don't mock me."

"I'm not, Kagome. I'm asking a question."

"I won't answer it." She said sharply and turned on her heel just as the door to the room opened and Lord Sesshomaru entered along with Souta.

Kagome frowned as her namesake fled the room into the hall. She looked to Sango. "I wasn't..."

"I know... She's just... She can't fathom what you're saying, Kagome." She murmured.

Sesshomaru frowned as he sat next to his mate, taking both of them into his free arm, breathing in the scent of his daughter. "What are you speaking of?"

She nestled against him and sighed. "I will tell you later, Love... Meet our daughter."

Souta scowled, his attention effectively diverted from the girl who had run from the room. "A sister?"

Kagome smirked. "You should see her, Souta, before you pass such a harsh judgment."

He knelt down and looked at the tiny girl. Both she and her brother had inherited his mother's eyes and father's silver hair. The infant looked up at him and cooed with the sweetest smile he'd ever seen. He sighed and felt defeated. "I think both I and my brother will spend the rest of time just making sure you keep out of trouble... And killing any boy who gets within a mile of you." He leaned in and kissed her little brow and heard her coo again. He sighed. "You win, you little elf."

Sesshomaru chuckled and stood with his two babies and mate. "The three of you need rest now..." He breathed and headed back to their room without another word. He lay them down and sighed, watching as she fed their son. "They need names."

She nodded softly, thinking. "We could name her after your mother..."

"She would murder us." He said quickly. "Not only does she dislike her name, she'd go mad if both she and her grand daughter responded to it."

"Alright... So that's out. Sango told me the same thing as well..." She looked down at the tiny girl who yawned and looked up at her mother sleepily. "What about Kaede?"

He smiled and kissed her gently. "I think it is a fine name. Inherited, but it is noble considering who it is inherited from."

"What of our son?" She murmured, looking to the tiny boy who still suckled greedily at her breast.

"Not Kouga or Inuyasha."

She only laughed. "Actually... I was thinking of my father's name. Or yours."

"Your father's name... Mine should never be inflicted on a child."

"What was it?" She asked, smirking faintly.

"Sesshomaru."

She laughed and he silenced her swiftly with a deep kiss. "Don't laugh at the Lord of the Western and Northern lands, wench."

"Don't be so funny then."

He smirked and ran his fingers through her hair. "What was your father's name?"

"Akira." She said with a kind of reverence.

He nodded and smiled, kissing her again. "Akira, then."

The Lord curled around his mate and children, caressing the babies in turn. _Kaede and Akira... _He thought and smiled as the three drifted off. _Thank you, Kami... I couldn't have endured if she'd died or been forced to live through that pain again..._

------

She lay back onto her bed and cried silently. She didn't sob when she cried, she just let the tears fall. She replayed Kagome's words over and over in her head. _Why would she have said that if she hadn't meant something by it? Maybe she wasn't mocking me after all... Maybe... Maybe there's a way... _The next thought hit her hard. _What about Kyo? He loves me and I... I love him too I think. He's so calm and gentle and warm... Nothing like Souta. I don't think I could bear hurting him... Souta could survive without me. He's built to live next to forever. If he can survive time, he can survive losing me..._ Her heart panged and she winced, curling up onto her side as her tears fell even more freely. _But I can't survive without him... I can't lie to myself about that. We learned to walk together... Learned so much by each other's sides. He's like... He's like.._ "No!" She cried out suddenly and sat up, pulling her knees tightly to her chest. _I won't go any further..._ Her mind said, but her heart finished the though and she felt broken for it. _He's like my breath... I can't breathe without him._ "But it isn't for me... It isn't for me... I don't matter so much as their hearts. I won't make either one lose me... I can't." She breathed and stood suddenly. She was exhausted, but she needed to go. She needed to go home to Kyo and promise herself to him.

Quickly she packed her bags and dressed in her traveling clothing. The snow had come shortly after the twins had been born and the cold would bite into her if she went on foot or by horse. It would take too long anyway. She knew exactly who to ask for help who would not arouse suspicion. She shouldered her bags and rushed silently down the hall to find Jaken.

Upon finding him, she put on her most respectful face and bowed to the diminutive youkai-toad. "Master Jaken... I was wondering if I could borrow A-un. I need to rush home tonight and I fear that if I do so in the cold I will become ill."

Jaken sized up the girl instantly. Because he was impulsive did not mean he was not perceptive and intelligent. She was running and he knew exactly whom she was running from. _Prince Souta is in love with this human girl... So much like his mother. They even share a name. And from the look of her, she loves him as well, but she runs... _He considered a moment, then spoke. "Why are you off so soon?"

She swallowed hard suddenly, her throat unusually dry. "I... I would like to return to my beloved, Kyo." She murmured.

Jaken raised a brow and then nodded faintly. "You are certain you wish to return to this Kyo? He is what and who you want?"

She trembled. _Why is he asking me these questions? He always acts like such an idiot..._ "Yes.. I'm certain."

"Take him then. When would you like me to alert the palace and your parents that you have left. You are leaving without telling them, aren't you?" He asked her slyly.

She blinked and met his shrewd gaze. _This toad is much smarter than anyone gives him credit for... A fact I will not forget in the future._ "Tell them when they wake. Thank you, Master Jaken."

The toad nodded and watched her as she ran off toward the stables. _Poor Prince Souta... Hopefully you wake soon._

------

"Damnit..." He grumbled. He was exhausted, but he couldn't sleep. His mind kept returning to the girl... To Kagome who had kissed him so gently to comfort him and then run from him and everyone else later. What had caused such a change in her? Why was she so upset? She loved babies... He stood and paced slowly and ran his clawed fingers through his hair. He stopped and opened his balcony window. The cold was biting into him, but he didn't care. He was shirtless at the moment, but it didn't matter. Usually he didn't get cold. He was only feeling the chill now because he was so exhausted. _And the new moon is tomorrow night._ He thought vaguely. The only real change in him that night was that he lost the crescent moon and youkai markings on his person, the loss of his claws and the more human shape of his ears. Still, it was good enough reason not to venture too far from the palace. He wasn't defenseless, quite the contrary. He was more careful and deadly then because he felt instinctually how much in danger he really was.

He frowned as the sight of A-un flying off in the distance caught his attention. _Why are you out flying, beast? You hate the cold more than Jaken._ He turned and exited his room, finding himself running suddenly toward the stable. As he ran, he barely noticed Jaken when he reached the outer door.

"If you are looking for the daughter of Miroku, you just missed her." Jaken said where he stood, watching his Lord's son as he froze with his hand on the door.

"Kagome is gone? Why? Where?"

"Yes, to her home because she missed her beloved, Kyo. She asked to take A-un and I allowed her to for there was no reason to tell her no." He met Souta's gaze. "Was there reason to tell her no, Prince Souta?"

He suddenly felt as if he couldn't breathe. He crouched down, trying to catch his breath, running his fingers through his hair. "She left... She left me..."

"A wise man would pursue what he feels is his property if it leaves his grasp."

He looked at Jaken sharply. "She is her own... I would never call her property, toad."

Jaken met Souta's eyes as he stood, smirking. "I'm not talking about her. I'm talking about your heart. She left here with it and it is rightfully yours. Either follow her to take it back or follow her to convince her to keep it. But, as I said, a wise man would pursue what he feels is his by right."

Souta studied the toad slowly, then nodded. "Thank you for your advice."

"As always, I am your father and your servant and advisor."

Souta nodded and rushed back to his room, dressing for the cold, packing his things. As he rounded the corner to return to the stables, he ran into Aiko, the daughter of Shippo and Rin. Her brown eyes flashed, framed by her auburn hair.

"Where are you going, Souta?" She asked, frowning as she looked at him ready for travel.

He sighed and smirked, realizing he should tell someone other than Jaken. "After Kag."

Aiko made a face. "Where did she run off to that you need your sword and pack? Tomorrow's the new moon. You know your daddy won't like it."

He shook his head. Maybe he shouldn't have told her. "She has gone home and I am worried about her. I can take care of myself, anyways. I don't need my father's approval."

She sighed and watched Souta walk down the hall. She'd have to be stupid to annoy Lord Sesshomaru now. Or anyone else for that matter who had been up with her Grandma Kagome during the birth. She'd wait until breakfast. Certainly that would be the best time to tell them what was going on.

At the stable he chose one of his father's horses. It was a youkai horse, capable of short bursts of flight. He wouldn't be able to catch up with Kagome, but he could at least keep up with her and hopefully arrive at her home shortly after her. _I won't let her make a mistake that will damn us both to unhappiness... I won't lose her._ He thought vehemently as he sat astride the horse, urging it to fly off in the direction Kagome had gone. It was two weeks to the temple by road, but only a few days by air. If he was careful, he shouldn't have to face much more than a few cold nights without her.


	18. Things Wanted And Things Needed

_**Rewritten a bit. Well… Not as much as the next chapter, but a bit more than the last ones.**_

_**I do not own Inuyasha. I wish I had puppy ears, though. They look like they'd be fun.**_

_**Ivy.**_

**Chapter seventeen;**

**Things wanted and things needed**

He tried to hold his anger back as he looked at the little girl who sat down the table from him. His mate's hand gently rested on top of his and that calmed him somewhat. "Tell me again, Aiko. Where is my son?"

The girl was frozen, her eyes wide like a doe. "He took one of your horses and went after Kagome..."

"And where did Kagome go?" He said, gritting his teeth.

"Home..."

"And what is tonight?"

"The new moon..." She said, finally breaking down in tears. "What was I supposed to do? Sit on him? I mean... He was all determined and... And... You're scary and what was I supposed to do? Go and bang on your door and you tear my throat out?"

Rin groaned and put her hand to her head. "Please don't kill her, Daddy, she has a point even though she's not being very respectful while making it."

Shippo shook his head and sighed, looking down. His daughter was a pretty creature and very talented in many areas, but she never knew when to keep her mouth shut. "How long ago did he leave?"

"Half a day ago..." She murmured, suddenly finding her hands _very_ interesting.

Sesshomaru stood and growled. He began to pace with his mate and their inner circle watching him in his aggravation. The twins were in little cradles near her, sleeping. They were trying to keep their voices down to not disturb them. "I swear, Love, if he isn't dead when I find him, I will murder him."

"You need to calm down, Sesshou." She said evenly, catching his eyes. "This isn't just about our son's impulsiveness, you're still tense from worry these past few months. Sit down Love, and breathe before you drive yourself mad."

He did what she asked slowly, shaking his head. "We need to go after him."

"He's an adult, Sesshomaru." Inuyasha said softly, meeting his brother's gaze. "I've dealt with the same kind of brash impulsiveness my whole life and most of it without any help or protection. He should be fine. Kouga and I can go after him if you like. Hell, even Sayoko and I could go after him. But you really should stay here with Kagome and the twins."

He took a few deep breaths and nodded slowly. "Go.. Someone. Just to ensure he is alright."

Inuyasha nodded and looked to his mate who smiled faintly, taking his hand. "Shall we go, then?"

"It sounds like a nice excursion. Though perhaps one more considering both you and I will be just as sapped of our powers as he will be tonight."

He nodded and looked to Kouga who smirked and nodded. "Alright. I'll come along too." He looked to Hitomi who blushed faintly at his gaze. She always blushed when he met her gaze and it never ceased to delight him. "Care to make it four?"

She laughed and sighed, taking his hand, squeezing it. "When do I ever tell you no?"

"Point taken. Shall we then?" The four left to put together what they would need for the trip as they headed toward the stables, Miroku caught up with them.

"I will be joining you." He said simply.

Inuyasha frowned. "Is there something wrong, Miroku?"

"Souta is going after my daughter who will be, most likely, intending to promise herself to Kyo, my apprentice. The man, while pious and very talented was not always so devoted to the spiritual. He was a thief and hired mercenary before he came to me after a spiritual awakening. He is a dangerous man and not to be toyed with. My daughter and Sesshomaru's son have no idea what they are dealing with, but Kyo will do as I ask."

"You're so certain?" Kouga asked, feeling worry creep at the back of his mind.

"Not certain, but hopeful. One thing I do know is if he hurts Kagome, I will kill him." He said calmly. Kirara who was now nuzzling and purring at his heel shifted and he slipped onto her back. "Are we ready?"

They nodded and mounted their youkai horses, also capable of flight. Within moments they were soaring in the direction of Miroku's home, the temple, where the two children were also going.

------

A-un had needed to stop. It was night and very dark. The night of the new moon. Her mind drifted to Souta and she trembled. She felt tears falling and she covered her face where she was curled against the girth of the two headed dragon. _Why can't I stop crying? I'm going to a man who will love me and give me a life... And I'm saving him... Why... Why am I crying?_ She felt a tremor pass through her and suddenly began to sob. The feeling ached through her and forced her to clutch at her chest for breath. But the tears wouldn't stop and neither would the aching sounds that passed with every breath. "Kami... Souta... I love you, that's why I'm doing this... I love you too much to make you watch me die..."

She stood and began pacing, doubling over again as another round of sobs overtook her. She fell to her knees and hit the ground, wishing to hell she could have her silent tears back. _But you weren't ever crying over something like this... You're giving up love... You aren't saying goodbye to someone or watching them die... You're letting go of the only person your heart really wanted... Who ever made you feel beautiful or wanted or... Alive._ She screamed into the night and hit the ground again hard and gasped as she cut her hand on a rock. She looked at the cut by the faintness of the starlight. _You made a mistake... You should go back to him. You need him. Listen to yourself, damnit..._ "Even if I made a mistake for me, I made the right decision for him... I had to make it because he never would."

A-un stood and walked over to her, nuzzling her gently with both heads. She sighed and stood, slipping onto his back again. He took to the air into the pitch black dotted only with a few pin pricks of light for Kami to look through.

------

He froze by the river, hearing the scream as it pierced through the night. He frowned and let the last of the water slip through his hand. He was close. That was her scream. He didn't need his youkai hearing to know that. He mounted his horse that had just finished its rest and took to the sky again. He could see A-un in the distance as he flew on in the direction of the temple. _Why did she scream? Is she hurt?_

Further back the pack of five were still following Souta and Kagome. They were not so far away that they couldn't see Souta, but far enough that they could not see Kagome. They had not heard her scream as he had, however they were close enough that if something happened to the youkai prince, he would have protection. They had traveled without any stops while both Kagome and Souta had stopped, Kagome more than Souta. It hadn't been that they didn't want to stop, only that they needed to make up much time in order to catch up and ensure Souta's safety.

As the sun began to rise a few hours later, they all were able to relax. They'd caught up a bit closer to Souta and could see Kagome in the far distance settling into another clearing.

She slipped off A-un and almost instantly fell unconscious. Her tears and weeping hadn't stopped the whole time and aside from her exhaustion. Her dreams were full of his face, of Souta's face and his warmth and voice and touch. Though it was pleasant enough to dream, her mind became fitful because of it, and with her mind, her body.

He landed in the clearing and dismounted, watching her sleep. He frowned and squatted near her, reaching out to push a strand of her long dark hair from her face.

"Souta..." She breathed, trembling. She began crying in her sleep, then a sharp sob escaped her.

He frowned, unsure why a dream of him would upset her so greatly. He reached out and took her by the shoulders, shaking her faintly.

She cried out and opened her eyes wide, meeting his. She struggled but he would not let her go and it was for that reason that she realized she was not sleeping. She shuddered and again began to weep, covering her face. "Go... Leave me alone! Go home, Souta..."

"No. Not even if you weren't in the state you're in. Kagome, why did you run away without telling anyone?"

"I told Jaken."

"Damnit... Jaken should have been the last person you told. At the least you should have told your parents even if you didn't want to say goodbye to me. But you just ran and now I find you here calling out my name and sobbing in your sleep... What is wrong? Why did you run?"

She shook her head, moving her hands and meeting his amber gaze with her indigo eyes. "Because of you! Because I _hate_ you! I hate you for making me weak and cry and lose myself over and over again! I hate you for loving me and making me love you back! I want you to leave me alone and stop following me, Souta! Please do that for me... Please..."

He drew her up by her shoulders, refusing to release her. He felt like he'd been stabbed in the stomach, but he couldn't back down... She loved him, he realized now. That was enough reason to never let her go. "No... You're coming back with me and we're sorting this out."

She whimpered. "Don't make me hurt you, Souta..."

"You are welcome to try but I won't leave you. Not now and not ever." He said sternly, then gasped as he felt the daggar go through his gut. He looked down and saw the youkai blade, the daggar her mother had made for her out of youkai bone to defend herself. She drew it from his abdomen and he fell back, holding his stomach. "Kagome... Why?"

"You'll heal... It will weaken you a while... Long enough for me to leave. Don't follow me, Souta. I'm only death for you." She breathed, sobbing again as her words ended. She sheathed her blade, then climbed onto A-un and fled.

He watched her, helpless and hurt on the forest floor. _I won't let you go... I'd rather die than let you go._

He frowned as his horse startled a short while later. Then he scowled as he saw his uncle and his mate, Kouga, Hitomi and Miroku land near him. The monk knelt beside him and examined the wound. "What happened? Who did this?"

"Your damned daughter." He growled and covered the gouge again, feeling his paralysis fade off. He stood slowly and gripped a tree to catch his balance. "She's... Something's really wrong with her. I've never seen her so upset."

Miroku frowned and studied the youkai prince. "What did she say to you?"

"That she hated me and then in the same breath that she loved me, then she stabbed me so I couldn't stop her and not to follow her. That she was death for me." He spat a bit of blood onto the ground, feeling himself mending slowly. He was most certainly going to have a scar.

Inuyasha scowled. "Maybe we should take her on her word and just go back. She's made a choice, Souta."

"She's in no position to make a choice, uncle." He said softly, staring the other hanyo down. "If you'd seen her, you'd know that. I've only seen her cry when Kaede died, and then it was... She was serene and calm. I'm telling you, she was a wreck. She was sobbing and shaking like she might fall apart right there in front of me."

Miroku frowned even more deeply. "He's right, Inuyasha. There's something very wrong. That does not sound like my daughter."

Inuyasha nodded and frowned as they again were riding off toward Miroku's temple. Souta looked into the distance. She was too far off to catch up and soon they would all have to rest, even her. They would finally reach the temple the evening after she arrived and he didn't like the timing. He didn't like it at all.

------

She dismounted A-un, having traveled through without stopping until she reached the temple. Her legs wouldn't hold her, but she never reached the ground. Kyo caught her in his strong arms, frowning in worry at her condition. "Kyo.." She breathed, curling into his embrace.

"Kagome... Why are you here? I thought you weren't returning for a few months..."

"I... I needed... To come back... To you..." She whispered, smiling faintly at the widening of his eyes.

"Are you... Are you certain? I know where your heart lies... That is why we said you would not give your answer until you returned and were certain." He carried her into the main house and to her room, laying her exhausted form down.

"I've returned... And I'm certain." She breathed, caressing his face. _You are lying to him... Why are you lying to him?_

He smiled and kissed her deeply and she shuddered. She always shuddered when he kissed her. It wasn't because she felt his energies surge through her and make her his... No. It was because she imagined that it was Souta who was kissing her and she knew she always would. Only Kyo's lips had ever touched hers, and still, it was another man whose face she saw and touch she felt.

He looked onto her beautiful face and body. He wasn't a good man. He wasn't an honorable man. He was pious and kind, but that was only the surface of him. The interior was still the lecherous, dangerous, evil man who had raped and pillaged for money for two decades before he'd had his "spiritual awakening" which had consisted of nearly dying after a battle and realizing the best way to survive in this world was to take and take and then fade away to a place no one would think to look. For the past four years, that place had been the home of the monk Miroku. Making Kagome his wife would only cement his place and the protection he knew while he was here. And then, when he took his "pilgrimages" down the mountain, he could continue to indulge himself in his carnality and his greed and his bloodlust.

"Do you love me?" He breathed, gazing into her beautiful eyes.

"Yes."

She was lying, but he didn't care that she was. The lie served him and soon she would as well. The youkai prince, Souta would not want her once he was through with her. He would make certain of it. And then she would be his and, in time, so would the protected temple. He kissed her deeply and fiercely, quickly and deftly disrobing her and pressing her into the mattress. He felt her begin to protest, begin to fight. He had no intention of letting her go now. He thrust into her and reveled in the sharp cry that came from her. He took her at a bruising pace over and over again. Not enough to harm her, but enough that she never felt much pleasure in the act. She continued to fight, realizing what she'd wished on her self. When she screamed, he hit her hard to silence her. She sobbed and wept as she felt the side of her face swell and bruise. _Souta... I'm sorry... I didn't... Know... Kami, kill me... Take me away..._ After a while, she stopped feeling, but her prayer was not answered. She did not die.

As the sun rose, Kyo left her, turning to watch her curl into a fetal knot on top of the cushions. He smirked faintly and went to the courtyard, practicing his sword as he always did while alone. He was a master swordsman and deadly in combat. It was a fact he'd worked to keep hidden from even Miroku. The monk thought he knew everything... How wrong he was. Laughably wrong.

He sheathed his sword as he saw the six flying figures approaching. A smirk graced his handsome lips as he saw the monk approach with a host of others he'd never seen before. "Ahhh, Master Miroku. How good to see you so soon."

The man who stood directly behind the monk, an ebony haired, amber eyed youkai, snarled. Souta. That had to be Souta. "Where is she? The scent of her blood is all over you."

"Sleeping." He said softly and met the half youkai's eyes. "Why are you inquiring of my fiancé? Do you have business with her?"

"She is not..."

"She is. Otherwise I deflowered her for nothing."

He blocked the sword that came at him easily and met those amber eyes again with mirth. "You raped her."

"Oh no. Not her." He kicked the man away and sighed. "Granted I have raped quite a few women, but I did not do so to Kagome. She asked for me. Almost begged, actually. Why don't you go home to your palace and play with your little toys, prince Souta. Any claim you had on her is lost."

Souta snarled and shrugged off the hand that had fallen on his shoulder. "I won't leave her with him, Kouga. Back off."

"She chose him." He said simply. He watched the boy as he seethed with rage. "It wasn't rape, she chose him. Went with him. Gave herself to him."

"I want to hear it from her lips." He said through gritted teeth. "I need to or else I will not leave."

"Fine then. Let me go and get her." Kyo said simply and returned to the house.

Miroku watched with thoughtful but angry eyes. "He has never carried a sword since he came here... There is something wrong with this."

"There's something wrong with a lot of this." Inuyasha said icily.

Kyo moved to the girl on the futon and shook her awake. "Your father and a host from the palace are here, Love. They want you to tell them what happened. You know what you'll tell them, right?"

"You... You raped me..." She gasped, pulling away from him. He pinned her and she whimpered.

"No. You will say that you are happy with me. That you asked me."

"I said no! I asked you to stop!"

"Oh, pretty girl... You think once I got started I'd actually listen to you?" He bit her shoulder hard and she cried out in pain. "No man hears the word no once they get started. I'm sure not even your beloved Souta."

"He'll see you hit me... He won't believe you..."

"Then make him believe it or else, I promise you, I will kill him and make you watch."

She sobbed and nodded, giving in to him finally. He pulled her up by her hair and she dressed slowly, cleaning herself up slightly, wincing at the bruise on her cheek. Her tears stung along a slight cut that was there. She pulled back her hair carefully, then walked with him out into the courtyard. It took all of her strength not to run to her father as his eyes met hers. She saw fear there and worry and pain, but no disappointment, only confusion. "Daddy..." The word was mouthed but he saw it. He looked to Kyo in slowly building rage.

"You _beat _my daughter?" He asked softly.

Kyo ignored the question. "Tell them what they want to hear so they will leave. Now."

Her eyes fell on the ground and began to shake. "I... I asked for him..."

Souta couldn't tear his eyes off of her. He felt rooted into the ground as his mind fled back to the day his sister, Rin, had been raped by Takaya. He had only been a child, but he could remember every moment... He could remember especially the look in her eyes as she had stopped screaming in the hopes that it would calm him. She'd martyred herself for him because she'd loved him and wanted to protect him. And her eyes had been so full of pain and then so completely hollow... Like Kagome's eyes. Her beautiful, dancing eyes that always held a smile... A smile just for him. "But did you want him?" He asked softly, knowing full well she could hear him.

"Why would she have asked if she didn't want me?"

"Close your mouth. I wasn't speaking to you." He met Kyo's eyes, then looked back to Kagome. "Tell me the truth, Kagome... Tell me now."

She shook her head and fell to her knees, covering her face as she wept. "Please, stop..."

"No. I need to know."

"What will knowing do but hurt you?" She asked suddenly, as if she were ripping the words out of herself. She met his gaze and it staggered him. There was pain but there was also a deep, aching, abiding love... For him. "I ran because if I'd stayed, I wouldn't have been able to leave you and I can't... I can't... I can't do that to you... Damn you to that kind of pain... I'm human, Souta. I will die and you will live and be young and have to watch me fade away into nothingness like Kaede did... So tell me what good knowing this will do for you? Knowing what I want or what I asked for or didn't? I chose this because I wanted you to be happy somehow... Some other way but with me."

"He's killing you." The youkai prince said softly, trembling as she flinched. "Is this any better? Forcing me to watch him kill you like this? I'd rather watch you grow old and die. I'd rather watch your physical beauty fade than see your soul wither away. I love your soul, Kagome. And he's killing you. And it's killing me."

Kyo snarled and pulled Kagome up by her shoulder, roughly. "Enough. Tell him what he needs to hear."

She couldn't breathe. It was like her breath had been pushed out of her forcibly by this man... This monster who'd hurt her so deeply the night before. Her eyes had been torn from Souta and suddenly there wasn't any air. She pushed away with as much strength as she could muster, and still he held her. He growled with disgust and threw her down, forcing all the air left in her lungs out of her. She gasped and held her chest, shaking.

"Go to him then. You were not worth the trouble."

Souta moved to her, sheathing his sword, helping her to her feet. She fell into his chest, still gasping for breath, clinging to him. "Shhh... Just breathe, Kag..."

She sobbed suddenly, her breath returning to her in a rush. Tears fell down her face uncontrollably as Souta guided her further away from Kyo. He helped her sit with her father on the stairs of the temple, then found her clinging to him, her arms refusing to release him. He gently coaxed her arms down and met her gaze. "Tell me, Kagome, I need to know..."

"He'll kill you..." She whispered, shaking softly.

"Don't have so much faith in me." He said, then flinched at her cutting gaze.

"Don't even joke about this, Souta... He... He is stronger than he looks..."

"Tell me what I need to know."

"So you can go and get yourself killed?"

"Just tell me, damnit." He growled and grasped her shoulders painfully. "Don't get stubborn on me now."

She looked down, unable to meet his gaze as she said the words barely above a whisper. "I thought... I thought maybe... It was right even though I felt wrong about it... But I knew... I knew even before he..." She shook, the words coming in disconnected sobs. "I said... I begged... Stop... Didn't want him... But he... And then... He... Hurt me... Wouldn't stop... Hurting... Hit me... Held me d-down... Again... And again... And... I... Feel so... Dirty and... Hollow and... Kami, make it stop..." She clutched her head, trying to fight back the memories.

Her voice was so small and fragile. Her form was so prone and broken. And still... In his eyes she was the most perfect, beautiful creature he'd ever seen. He gathered her up into his arms, trembling as she clung to him, holding her even tighter. "You're safe... And I won't let you go, I promise. I won't leave you, Kagome, I promise... I love you. I have always loved you."

"I love you, Souta..." She breathed shakily, pressing her face into his neck. He gently ran a hand through her hair, feeling her slacken against him. She was exhausted and as soon as she was calmed, safe in his arms, her exhaustion overtook her as well as her weakness and she fell unconscious in his embrace. He looked to Miroku who was caught between rage and sorrow.

"Take her.." He breathed, laying the sleeping girl in her father's arms.

"She wouldn't want this, Souta." He said softly, frowning at the boy before him who so loved his daughter even now. Even after everything else.

"She isn't awake to stop me." He said with a snarl. "No matter what happens, take her back to my father and tell him it was and is my wish that she stay there where she will be safe. Where no one can touch her."

He turned toward Kyo who was standing and smirking cockily at him. Inuyasha growled faintly. "He should die, Souta."

"I plan on making that happen."

"I mean the way Takaya died."

Souta smiled darkly. "So do I. Don't worry. There will be pain for him. Death. Agony."

"I'll make you kill me before you take me, youkai prince." Kyo said, his voice harsh and cruel. "Think of it this way... I killed her innocence. Murdered it as brutally as I was able all in the hopes of taking her away from you. Making her undesirable. Since I can't do that, the least I can do is force you to kill me so you won't have that pleasure too. That is if I don't kill you first."

"You give yourself too much credit, Kyo." Souta smirked and watched how the bastard was moving, studying him closely. Then he saw what he'd needed to see. The vulnerability. "You have a weakness, Kyo. I doubt you even realize what that weakness is and so much the better for me. You won't be protecting it when we clash."

Kyo scoffed. "I am a master swordsman, boy. I trained under the best."

"You trained under the best humans who have a limited life span to gain mastery. I, on the other hand, trained with the best youkai and while I am by no means a master..." He charged with the lightning speed of his father. Kyo barely was able to raise his sword before the boy bore down on him. "I am far better than you are."

He smiled wickedly. "So you are." He pushed back and readied himself again for when Souta advanced. He did again, but this time Kyo was not quick enough.

Souta moved to his right flank and hit him with the flat of his sword, causing Kyo to double over. "Too slow." He said through clenched teeth.

"Too careless..." He breathed and Kyo turned, stabbing the youkai prince in the back with Kagome's dagger.

The boy's eyes went wide as his body was paralyzed and he fell forward. He heard Kyo's sword raised and then clash against another sword.

"I thought everyone at that castle were honorable, little girl." Came Kyo's voice.

"The problem with assuming things is that when you're wrong, it usually ends bloody." Came Hitomi's voice. The woman standing over Souta was not one to make angry. She pushed Kyo back with a flick of her wrist, then jumped up, catching him off guard. She cut her claws along his face and when he turned to hold the bleeding flesh, she hit him on the back of his head, knocking him cold. She sighed and turned to the boy, pulling the dagger from his back, sitting him up. "I'm sorry for interfering, Prince Souta, but I really think your father would have gone on a rampage if you came back dead."

"It's alright... Just hope you didn't mind." He managed a smile.

"Not at all. I'm not very honorable when it comes to scum like this Kyo. Doing what he did put him on a level that should have rightfully been stamped out at that point... But I know you want your revenge."

Souta nodded as Inuyasha and Kouga bound Kyo, readying him to be transported back to the palace. Souta looked to where Miroku held Kagome and felt his heart break. He was cradling her, rocking her softly and singing to her as she slept. He remembered seeing him do this when she was just a child, fighting sleep in Rin's garden during the summers... Only now the man's voice was sad and lost and the girl... The girl was grown, damaged and not fighting sleep any more. She was fighting waking and facing the world that had turned so violently black.

------

He watched the girl sleep with his father sitting beside him. Her mother had bandaged his wounds after tending her daughter and now he and the Lord of the Western and Northern lands were watching the girl he'd chosen sleep a deep, dreamless sleep and all he could think of was how much she reminded him of his sister when she'd remained still and unconscious for so long after she'd been raped. How she'd wanted to die because she'd thought Shippo was dead and she had been violated... But he was alive. He was alive and she knew that he was with her. When a nightmare came, his voice and touch calmed her and she fell back into her deep slumber.

He felt his father's hand on his still bare shoulder and looked to meet amber gaze with amber gaze. "She has not conceived yet and I doubt she will. Mortal to mortal fertility is fickle and must be timed precisely."

Souta nodded. "I know... And still I can't leave her, father. I promised I wouldn't leave her."

"Has she accepted you?"

He shook his head. "Not in so many words."

"Actions are not words, Souta."

"I know. She's afraid, Father. She's afraid of growing old and dying and leaving me alone. And I told her I don't care..."

"Your mother spoke to her about it... I fear it was part of why she ran."

He frowned deeply. "I don't understand... How could anything mother said have made her want to run more?"

"She was trying to tell her something and she misunderstood... Your mother is very powerful. You know this, correct?" He watched his son's reaction closely.

"I'd have to be completely blind to the world not to see and know how powerful she is, Father. She makes full youkai quake."

"Your mother has been watching the two of you since you were very little... And lately she had been seeing if she could affect youkai auras in order to create a similar bond between a human and a hanyo. Not just for you, but for the children of our inner circle in case they fell in love with humans rather than other half breeds or youkai."

His frown began to fade and the flicker of hope flashed into his gaze. "Has... Has she been successful?"

He nodded slowly. "At least between two half breeds... She was able to bond Inuyasha and Sayoko shortly before the twins were sired. She was even able to tune their auras so that their lifetime will be the lifetime of Sayoko since she's... Well at least a hundred years younger than your uncle."

Souta looked to the girl who still lay unconscious in front of him. She had whimpered and now was sleeping fitfully, kicking at the blankets that covered her. He sat on the bed next to her and caressed her cheek gently, leaning to her, kissing her brow. "You're safe, Love... I'm here and you're safe." Her breathing slowed and she calmed, the nightmare losing its hold in her mind. Souta moved from her after smoothing her hair from her face and replacing the covers carefully over her. He looked to his father, noticing the barely veiled look of respect and pride. He sat next to him again. "If Mother can do what you suggested, Father... I would gladly ask her to when Kagome agrees. A human lifetime isn't enough... Even though I know I'd settle for it if I thought it was all I had with her."

Sesshomaru nodded and stood. "I will go and tell your mother about your decision..." He looked at his son and the concern in his eyes. "She will survive, Souta. She will because you are with her and you give her reason to. Sometimes the reason is all we need to continue on."

Souta nodded and smiled faintly at his father. "May I ask you something?"

"Within reason." He said, smirking.

"How did you win Mother?"

Sesshomaru chuckled at the question. "Patience. Your mother has always been stubborn."

Souta smiled as his father turned and left the room. _Perhaps in that way as well both my mother and Kagome are the same... Patience. Perhaps I should practice it now._


	19. Waking From A Long Sleep

_**Rewritten cause my readers were right. For your pleasure, the punishment of Kyo in all its bloody glory.**_

_**I do not own Inuyasha. No money for me.**_

_**Ivy.**_

**Chapter eighteen;**

**Waking from a long sleep**

Her eyes fluttered open slowly. She found herself on her back and entirely comfortable in her room at the palace. She curled onto her side and smiled faintly, seeing Souta curled next to her laying over the blankets. He looked so peaceful when he slept, almost like the boy she remembered when they were growing up together. She reached out slender, delicate fingers and pushed back a few stray strands of his hair that were obscuring partially the dark blue crescent moon on his brow. She watched him sleep and cried silently. She wasn't sad. Her heart still panged and ached, but in that moment, she was not sad. She couldn't be sad when she was looking on his beautiful face. "I love you..." She mouthed, though no sound passed from her throat.

"I love you..." He whispered in his sleep, sending a jolt through her. He hadn't left her side from the moment he'd arrived in her father's temple. She was conscious of his presence if not anything else through her long sleep and had heard his words as they cut through her nightmares. Their fragile bond that they had owned between them longer than either could remember had been tested so many times in the last week and still it remained. Still he could hear her when she didn't make a sound and she could feel him near her when all her other senses faltered in a void.

Slowly she curled closer to him, smiling as his arms encircled her and held her against his chest. She clung to him as she cried, finding herself sobbing again. She tried to fight back the ache in her chest. She tried to make the shuddering stop and silence the sound but her efforts only made it worse. He woke and frowned, clutching her to his chest, breathing her in. "Kagome... What's wrong?"

"Everything..." She gasped and clung to him tighter, weeping. _No, not everything... You're right where you want to be. You're in the arms of the man you love and who loves you and you're safe._ "Souta, don't let me go..."

"Never." He breathed and sat up, cradling her form against him. She shook as she wept. It took all his control not to kiss her to silence the aching, painful sounds. Instead he ran his fingers through her hair and whispered he loved her and would never leave her until she calmed and rested against him spent and trembling.

She didn't look up at him, but her fingers sought out some of his stray, curling ebony locks and twined them in her fingers with their curl. "I love you, Souta... I'm sorry... For leaving you like I did. In retrospect I should have stayed... I was a coward... I made the choice for you and it was wrong of me. I was more afraid of you seeing me age and feeling you'd made a mistake being with me. I don't want to be your mistake..."

"Shhh..." He silenced her then with a deep and sudden kiss. She shuddered, then melted against him, returning his kiss as deeply. It was different than Kyo's kiss... Sweeter somehow and warmer. It slipped around her from her lips to every part of her body and held her as tightly as his arms did. When he pulled back slowly, she whimpered in a small voice and felt his lips form a smile against hers. "I told you that you couldn't ignore me. You can't any better than I can ignore you." As he spoke his lips caressed teasingly against hers, sending a shudder through her. "We are too close to pull back now. We are like two trees grown together... We're stronger for the other but we can never be separate or else we will die."

"I feel like I'll die if you don't kiss me again..." She breathed, then sighed in delight as his lips descended on hers again and captured her mouth up in intense passion and love. She curled tighter against him and tangled her slender fingers in his long hair. How she loved his hair and how silken it was in her small hands. How it fell against her cheeks as he laid her back, kissing her with greater heat and love, his hands wandering along her sides with a lust for exploration. She froze and pushed him back as the memories of that night returned to her in a rush. Kyo on her, inside her, hitting her, raping her with a brutality she had never thought he could possess. She screamed and clawed at Souta, her eyes seeing Kyo over her. Suddenly she was pinned and she wept, begging him to stop.

"Souta, what's wrong?" It sounded like Inuyasha, but he couldn't be here? Where was Souta?

"I don't know... I was kissing her and she started screaming and clawing at me!"

"Kyo! Please stop, I don't want this! Stop it!" She cried out, fighting with all of her strength. She felt another pair of hands on her, holding her down. Part of her mind questioned why there was someone else there, but it was not the part that was in control.

"She's having the memories..." Her mother? Why was she here?

"Memories..."

"That night... The rape. It's coming to her in flashes and overtaking everything else."

Souta and her mother and Inuyasha... But... All she could see was Kyo hovering over her and moving inside her... She screamed again, sobbing uncontrollably. She felt his hand hit her again hard along her jaw and she yelped, finally ceasing her protests, though the memories would not fade back. There was no mercy even from the memory of Kyo and for another hour she relived everything he did to her no matter what voices tried to soothe her. No matter what touch tried to calm her. She was lost.

As the memory faded, she whimpered and curled onto her side, shaking. She drew her knees to her chest and sobbed into her hands. He looked down on her, the claw mark on his face finally ceasing seeping blood. He reached out and caressed her arm gently. She flinched at first, then saw him, finally saw him and she calmed. She moved slowly, overcome by weakness and put her head in his lap with his help. He smoothed back her hair from her face, taking the cool cloth Sango offered him and gently wiped her down on her brow and neck and hands. "I hurt you..." She whispered, her voice completely lost.

"He hurt me through you." He countered, caressing her cheek gently with the cloth, tracing his thumb along her jaw. "My Kagome would never hurt me."

"It was... So real..."

"Shhh... It's alright. It's done now."

She pressed her eyes closed, tears falling into her hair. "It won't ever be over... I can still feel him... He hu-urt me..."

He drew her into his arms, a sudden possessiveness overtaking him instinctually. Sango felt Inuyasha's hand on her shoulder and the two drew back. "And I will hurt him. I will make him wish he'd never set eyes on you."

Sango watched the hanyo prince with a sudden and dawning realization. They had not mated, but it was as if the bond of mating had already been forged between them. As if it had always been there. She'd laughed with her friends and family and husband about how they had always acted like mates, even from the time that they were small children around each other. How they would seem so distant and lost until those summer months came and they were reunited and suddenly they were alive again. She looked to Inuyasha as the door was closed on them and their eyes locked.

"How long have you known, Inuyasha?" She asked softly.

He scowled faintly and sighed. "Sayoko noticed it first... When they were about eight... She pointed it out to me. The day that Kagome had fallen and hurt her ankle so badly and no one knew where she was... But Souta knew. He was there before us even though it was raining and her scent had been drowned out. He found her as if he were following an invisible line that stretched out between them."

"But a hanyo bond... It has to be forged..."

"I had a bond with Kagome much like it. Not as strong by any means, but it was there. Hanyo bonds are formed much differently than youkai bonds... Our auras tune to each other when there's mutual submission. When both of us are willing to put our lives equally in each other's hands. It's a matter of choice and trust. Souta and Kagome... They've had that for the better part of their lives. It's weaker than youkai mating bonds in many ways... But in other ways it's as strong if not stronger because it's entirely dependant on trust."

"That's the answer then. To everything I always wondered about the two of them. Even why she ran."

"I don't understand, Sango." Inuyasha watched the youkai slayer; his friend and the person he always knew could understand his warrior's spirit.

"Do you remember when Kagome accepted you were in love with Kikyo? She invested everything in you becoming happy, Inuyasha. She took it to point of sacrificing her very life and family for you. She did it because of that bond you had, don't you see? My daughter did the same thing. She looked at the man she loves and saw the unhappiness she would cause him and so was willing to sacrifice her own happiness for his."

"I... I never thought of it that way." He said, feeling rather stunned.

"It isn't surprising, really... Forgive me, Inuyasha, but men and women think in very different ways. For a woman there is nurturing, giving, self sacrifice and love in a whole different way than when men show their devotion. It is the difference between the mother and father... Do you understand now?"

He nodded and looked back to the room they were now a good way from. "My brother and his wife need to know what's happening. What's been happening. I told them once of Sayoko and my suspicion, however it seems rather fair to say that it is more than a suspicion... You saw how they react to each other... How, even when she was drawn into that flash of memory she responded to his voice. He cut through in a way we could not. And when it was over, instinct drew her into his arms and instinct put him on alert and guard."

Sango nodded and sighed faintly. Inuyasha frowned and she waved her hand dismissively at him. "My baby girl is grown up, Inuyasha... And I fear I barely noticed until now."

Inuyasha hugged his old friend and sighed. Suddenly he had the urge to seek out his little girl and lock her away in her room. She was his whole life along with Sayoko. He didn't know what he would do without the two of them.

------

Kagome listened quietly to Inuyasha and Sango as they relayed what had transpired. She sighed and took her lover's hand and felt him grip her gently. Nearby their infant son and daughter slept happily after being fed. Her mind traveled back to when her son had been that small and she felt her heart break slightly.

"I never wanted any of this for him..." She whispered. "Or for her... The two of them remember Rin, him with vivid recollection. They will endure, I'm certain, it is only... To see two women he loves so deeply having endured a similar fate and now... They both must feel helpless. Utterly helpless."

"He'd never say as much, you know that Love." Sesshomaru said and put an arm around her gently. He sighed as she leaned against him and met his brother's eyes. "If he will allow it, have him bring her to us. Perhaps if the bond can be completed now it might help to ease her pain and his."

Inuyasha nodded slowly, noting the obvious tenderness between his brother and Kagome. Over the years as the icy Lord had become more comfortable with those who circled around her, his coldness had melted away. Still, in court and in war and battle he was the old Sesshomaru. _I suppose that everyone, even the darkest youkai, have someone in the world that can turn their direction and melt their hearts. I never would have suspected Kagome would be that for my brother._ _Someday I will have to ask him when he realized._ "Do you think they are ready for that kind of bond? Youth aside, they are both still hurt."

"All the more reason to present them with the option, Inuyasha." Kagome said softly. She'd taken hold of Sesshomaru's other hand with both of hers and was caressing it softly. There was the faintest warmth in the cold Lord's eyes at her action. "They need to know that the option is there and what exactly is between them so that they will be less likely to hurt each other further. As much as she loves him, she still might run again. To protect him."

"How can you be certain?" Sesshomaru asked softly.

She looked up slightly and met his eyes. "She loves him enough to run. She loves him to a point beyond his own reason because she knew and knows he doesn't and will not care so long as he can be with her. It doesn't matter if he would make a different choice..."

The Lord smiled faintly and kissed her gently. "Human women... Are very strange indeed."

"Watch your words or you will be sleeping alone tonight." She murmured, then blushed faintly and rested against him again.

He chuckled and shook his head faintly, looking to Sango and Inuyasha. "Bring them to us. He will be resistant, but remind him that his Lord and father would not insist unless it was important."

The two nodded and left a moment later. The shock of the tenderness between Kagome and Sesshomaru was very vague now and in the back of their minds rather than constantly at the forefront. Still it was surprising when he jested and played with her more like a young pup than an eternal Lord.

When they had left he moved quickly and suddenly she was pinned on the cushions, and he was gazing down playfully at his mate. "You would not make me sleep alone, pretty mate... Would you?"

She laughed and gazed into his amber eyes mischievously. His weight over her was both comforting and enticing. Slowly his hands moved from her wrists to weave his fingers with hers. She held to him, pressing her palms up into his. "Empty threats..." She breathed, trembling as he pressed more of his weight against her form. "I doubt either of us could sleep alone anymore... I know I barely slept those two years you were at war."

"I didn't sleep at all." He murmured, kissing her deeply. He smiled into the kiss as she responded and felt a thrill through his soul at the depth and warmth of their contact. He knew it would always be the same, no matter how many trials came their way. He was an eternal creature and she was capable of eternal love. Devotion was a natural instinct of his kind. Not just the youkai race, but the inuyoukai in particular. He was a faithful creature as well as possessive. Kagome was his mate and his dearest friend and for that reason he would never leave her side. Though he'd never said as much, he knew she was aware that wherever she went, he would follow. He would bend to her whims and, to her credit, she would never use her power over him in any way that would cause him pain. Slowly he broke the kiss and pressed their brows together, their eyes closed as both of them continued to spin in their desire and pleasure at being so close. "I love you." He whispered, gently gripping her slacken hands and fingers in his.

"I love you." She breathed, returning his grip gently, caressing her thumbs along his strong hands. Her heart always raced when he said the words. There was a boyish vulnerability in his rich voice as the sounds passed across his lips, the soft consonants forming the vowels purely and sensually into the meaning that filled her so fully with purpose and warmth. This was the love she'd always longed for and dreamed of when she was a child. It was what she ached for from Inuyasha, but never received. Even after he realized he loved her, it still was not this love. It was not Sesshomaru's love. The youkai Lord filled the empty places she hadn't realized she'd had until he'd poured himself into her and held so completely within. She knew how completely she had him wrapped around her. She knew how much power she had over the most powerful youkai in the whole of Japan, if not the world, and still she would never use it. Not unless it was completely necessary, as she knew, in time, it would be. The wheel of history was turning and she would need to be his guide as well as the guide of those who had circled around them. Her knowledge would protect them all. But for now and for a few hundred years, she could revel in the knowledge and bask in his beauty and strength. And his love. His eternal, trembling and innocent love that had so encompassed her and called her every moment to his side.

Slowly he sat up and drew her into his lap, petting and caressing her worshipfully. She kissed along his jaw and neck and throat gently, resting her hands on his chest. He kissed the crown of her head and held her close as if he feared she'd be torn from him. And some part of him did. It was the part that had finally broken him down so many years before, when he'd seen her fall, poisoned by Naraku's insects.

_He had been watching the battle from a distance. His curiosity had overwhelmed his senses, it seemed. However, for the past two years, since the miko, Kagome, had revealed herself completely to him and his group, he had found himself drawn to her side more often than he'd been willing to say. _

_His brother and he had called a tentative truce in their personal war so that Naraku could be defeated. And that was when she'd stepped forward and met his eyes. A human girl, damn that she was a miko, met his eyes without fear of the consequence. She had stood up to him, thrown herself in front of his attacks to protect his worthless brother, dared to attack him and now she was meeting his gaze? As if she were his equal?_

_"You need to know something, Sesshomaru. About me. Because it will help you to understand exactly what my part in this whole thing is. I know I'm only some human wench to you, but Kami decided that I was more. I'm the reincarnation of Kikyo and the miko of the Shikon no Tama. I come from the future, five hundred years or more in the future, and was drawn here, presumably because history needed me to be a part of what was to come. I freed your brother from his tree prison and I shattered the Shikon no Tama accidentally. I am the only one who can sense the presence of the Shikon no Tama and the only one who can purify the Shikon no Tama when it is completed."_

_He studied her. He hid his shock at her words. The idea that this girl was necessary... Important to the future confounded him. He'd accepted her words as the truth and had pledged that he would assist in the final battle against Naraku. Still, since that time, he'd been drawn by her scent, that unique, clean, beautiful scent to her side during battles even if she did not realize his presence. And yet, somehow he knew she did. She always knew he was there. He watched in horror as the insects descended on her as she turned her back on them to defend his wretched brother yet again from another onslaught of lesser youkai. She had left herself prone so that when she turned back to the insects, she had no chance to stave them off._

_He was beside her in an instant. He felt some part of himself collapse when she had fallen, a stinger having penetrated her side. He killed the swarm with a sweep of his blade and collected the miko in his arm. Inuyasha turned and met his eyes. His brother's gaze registered what had happened and also that Kagome was safe. Sesshomaru flew off without a word toward the aged Kaede's home where the girl could be helped and, hopefully saved._

_She was important... She was necessary. _She is important and necessary to me._ His mind whispered and shocked him almost to the point of halting his progression to the small village a day's walk, but only an hour's flight away. He looked down into the face of the girl in his arms. She was so fragile and so very pale suddenly. Her eyes opened halfway and looked up into his face. "Fight, Miko. You must fight."_

_"Se... Sesshou..." She breathed, falling unconscious._

_He growled, but not at her presumption of calling him by a diminutive. It was because he hated himself suddenly for holding back when he should have been at her side, defending her. She was powerful and singular in her abilities, but she was also selfless and full of purity and warmth. Her goodness and kindness were both her power and her weakness. She had needed him to defend her from the darkness because he could understand it. He was a part of it. He knew the depths of cruelty Naraku could fall because he was capable of the same and for that reason he was more able than his brother to protect this fragile, beautiful creature. _How have I come to... To love her?_ She had fought him, stood up to him, been fearless when facing him and spoken to him as an equal. It was her strength and her weakness, her purity and warmth, that had drawn him in, he realized. She was everything he wasn't. She was everything he lacked and needed to be complete. _She is the woman I want to be my mate..._ The thought shook him more than his realization that he loved her. She was human... She was lowly and weak and... Perfect. She balanced him and made him whole. He realized immediately that this girl... And the love he felt for her was a foe he could not defeat simply by virtue of the fact that he did not wish to defeat her. He didn't want to win. He only wanted her._

_He landed near the village and walked toward the old woman's hut. He paused in the evening air and looked down at the girl in his arms. He leaned to her and brushed his lips across hers, breathing in her scent deeply. "You must live, Kagome. Be strong and live." _Be strong and live for me. I will not lose you... My mate._ The thought was so strong it was overwhelming. He knew he would have to win her. He would have to be patient. But he would have her. He could not imagine a future without her. Finally he walked into the hut of the old woman so that this girl, this perfect, beautiful miko, could live and one day stand at his side and sleep in his bed._

He held her tighter, remembering that horrible night, seeing her fall, feeling her so light in his arms as her life threatened to leave her. "You are my whole life, Kagome." He whispered, running his claws through her hair.

She smiled and met his gaze, caressing his cheek, tracing the crescent moon on his brow with infinite tenderness. "As you are mine. I wouldn't and will never want another. I love you, Sesshou. Until the end of time."

He smiled and took her hand, kissing her palm fervently. He gazed into her eyes and how they sparkled with the faint blush that possessed her cheeks. "I love you too. Forever."

------

He made sure to knock first and then opened the door, finding the two children much as they had been when he and Sango had left them earlier.

"Go away, Inuyasha..." Souta growled, clutching the sleeping Kagome to his chest protectively and possessively at once.

"Your father and mother have asked that the two of you come to see them. They want to talk to you." He said carefully, noting the feral look in Souta's gaze. The boy was going on pure instincts. His mate was in danger and he needed to protect her. His whole existence was turned toward protecting her. "Lord Sesshomaru said to remind you that he would not have asked if it were not important. He knows that you do not want to leave her or leave the safety of your den, but you need to. It is very important, Souta. For the both of you."

Souta fought to slow his breathing. He remembered what his father had said. That his mother might be able to help bond them permanently as he could not alone. He wanted that more than he could ever put into words. Slowly he stood after wrapping her in a robe. He did so with infinite care and tenderness, even making sure that her hair was free from the silken collar and draped over his arm where he held her. He did not put on his shirt, but merely stood and nodded to Inuyasha, then followed his uncle to the great room where he knew his parents to be with the newborn twins.

He entered the room, seeing his parents sitting next to each other, his mother curled amorously against him, his arm wrapped around her waist gently. He sat on the cushions in front of them, his Kagome curling into his lap, still deeply asleep. "She sleeps to hide... The memories don't reach her there." He breathed, looking down into her calm but weary sleeping face.

"Does she want you, Souta?" His mother asked softly, capturing his gaze. "Has she said as much?"

He nodded slowly, clutching her tighter to his chest. "But... What he did to her possesses her when I go to touch her. I know she will heal, but it is hell seeing her in that agony over and over again..."

"And to sense it through her." His father said, noting the look of shock on his son's face. "You're bonded to her and she to you, Souta, through your youkai blood. Even hanyo are able to forge bonds, my son. The two of you have been bonded for the better part of your lives."

"That's why..." He pressed his eyes closed, pressing his lips to her brow gently. "Kami, it makes sense now... Everything makes so much sense. I just... I thought it was my instincts... But I could sense her fear before I reached them. And her pain..."

Kagome moved to her son, caressing his silken, curling hair and met his amber eyes, so much like his father's. A few tears slipped onto her cheeks for him. She knew he would never cry in front of her now that he was a man. "Let me help you, Souta... Please, baby. Your father and I have only wanted to see you happy."

"She makes me happy..." He whispered, meeting his mother's azure gaze. She was a classic beauty, but her eyes were what made her unique. Her eyes set her apart from every other woman just as his beloved Kagome's did in her.

His mother smiled and nodded. "I know, baby..." She looked down on her namesake and touched the girl's face, rousing her with her pure white energies. "Wake up, Kagome... I need to ask you a question."

"Lady Kagome?" She breathed, looking up into the miko's gaze. "What..."

"Do you love my son?"

She blinked, registering the question. The energies of the Lady were still flowing into her body, healing her fully, though her soul still felt broken. "Yes... Forever..."

"If you could have that forever with him, would you take it?"

"I don't... I don't understand..."

"If you could be bonded with him and live out his lifetime with him, would you take that chance and remain and endure with him?"

She shuddered, and felt her tears well again, falling silently down her face. "Please... Please don't toy with me... Not now..."

"Shhh, baby." She breathed, her hand caressing along the girl's cheek. "I wouldn't ever do that to you. It isn't in me to do that to anyone, let alone the woman my son loves. I can give you that if you want it. Do you want it?"

"Yes..." She sobbed suddenly, weeping in realization. Lady Kagome had asked her before, but she hadn't realized. She hadn't understood and she'd been afraid. She'd run when she should have stayed. It was a mistake she'd regret forever. "More than anything."

The Lady smiled and surged more of her white energy into the girl, causing her to cry out in surprise. She met her son's gaze and touched his cheek, sending the same jolt through him. He made no sound, only tightened his grip on his lover. "It is my gift to you, Souta and Kagome. The happiness you should have." She caught up their auras and tied them together, merging them completely and tuning them to Souta's life force. It took only a moment, but she knew from her own experiences with Sesshomaru that the moment stretched out forever. She pulled back and moved to her beloved's side, leaving Souta gasping for breath and Kagome clutching to his chest desperately. Her face was buried over his heart, her tears wetting his flesh.

He caught his breath and reached down, guiding her face to look up at him. He trembled and placed his fingers on her brow, tracing the deep indigo crescent moon that now stained her porcelain skin. "Mine..." He breathed and kissed her with reverence and love.

"Yours..." She whispered, her fingers tracing along his cheek tenderly.

The Lady smiled to her Lord and felt a weight lift from the room. Time would heal them. They would find their happiness.

------

He was chained at his ankles and wrists, his arms held upward, chained high to the ceiling so that most of his weight was pulling downward on his shoulders. In time, if left, the tendons and muscles would tear and stretch, causing agony in his joints. He had woken in such a state with a pair of luminescent violent, feline eyes staring at him from a blackened corner. He had not attempted to speak to whoever it was that stood vigil, however, after several hours the preternatural gaze unnerved him tot he degree that he turned his eyes toward the one staring at him and scowled. "Does that brat intend to have one of his pets stare me to death?"

"I do not expect you to show respect to me, however you will show respect to Prince Souta. His blood alone and those who sired him, you are more indebted to than I fear history will ever record." Her tone was even and calm but frighteningly cold. "Once, nearly two decades ago, this country was nearly overtaken by youkai from the mainland. Had they succeeded, all humans and youkai would have been slaughtered. The only ones who stopped the invasion were Prince Souta's parents and their compatriots, and because of that, I warn you, for every time you do not utter their names with respect, I will remove a part of you slowly and with as much pain as I am able to bring to you, do you understand me, Filth?"

"It's you. That dishonorable bitch that stopped my killing blow. What? That little bastard half breed so impotent that he can't even take his own revenge let alone finish his own fights?"

She stood and walked toward the mortal whelp with a sadistic smile gracing her beautiful features. Further, hidden in blackness was her beloved mate unknown to the soon to be dead man hanging in the chamber. Hitomi had become Sesshomaru's master interrogator and assassin and her lover, Kouga, enjoyed nothing more than to watch his mate work. As she came within complete view of Kyo, she pulled a fierce looking dagger from her hip and traced the blade near his naked groin, tisking. A sweet smile kissed her lips, but her eyes… Her eyes were the very visage of pain and death soon to be visited upon him. "Don't say I didn't warn you." She breathed and lifted the blade to his ear, severing it quickly. He howled and then bit back the sound, blood trickling down from his lip as well as his ear. Her voice was breathy and cold. "You will learn respect before you die or, I promise you, by the time you descend into eternal blackness, I will ensure that you are entirely flayed."

"As far as Prince Souta goes, Kyo, he is far too busy with his new mate to bother with such a pitiful creature as you. He left you to us, or more precisely, my mate, to hone her skills of torture on. You will not have a public exocution. You aren't worthy the attention, however, once we are finished and my beautiful Hitomi decides that you have been properly punished and put in your place, Prince Souta will be summoned in order to behead you."

Kyo spat at Kouga's words, his spit falling on Hitomi's cheek. Before he could speak any more of his venom, Kouga had him by his throat, his ice blue eyes piercing, half shadowed in the dark. He snarled and shook the human slightly, smiling as he saw Kyo's fear filling his gaze and at the scent of his sudden release of his bodily functions in absolute terror. He dropped him and stepped away as the puddle of urine spread, pulling Hitomi with him, though his eyes were still on the humiliated Kyo. "You will show respect and submit and if you ever spit on my mate again, I will ensure that your pain is enhanced ten fold." He turned his attention from the shaking man to Hitomi and pulled a silken cloth from the folds of his clothing, cleaning her face lovingly, meeting her sparkling gaze.

"You take such good care of me, Love." She breathed and shuddered as he kissed her passionately. Slowly they parted and Kouga returned to his place in the shadows, returning to watching his beloved mate as she made the once proud warrior scream and beg for mercy.

------

She trailed the softest kisses along his collar bone to his sternum, caressing his chest reverently as she slipped onto him once again, claiming him within her as he guided her hips to help her mount him. They had learned rather quickly that it was not their making love that triggered her memories, but how they proceeded to mate that brought her terrors to life. He shuddered and moaned as he sat up and claimed her lips heatedly, continuing to guide her in their slow, steady rhythm, reveling in her soft, whispering cries into his mouth.

As they fell into the now thoroughly practiced rhythm, he felt more certain of himself and their connection and slowly began to guide her to her back, soothing each weak mew of protest. After several agonizing moments of coaxing her so that she was pressed into the heavenly softness of their bed, he wrapped his arms around her, smiling as hers also encircled him. He pressed his brow to hers and continued to take her, pride filling him that she had not begun to panic, nor that her memories had taken her over again. Her legs drew up along side his hips as she wrapped completely around him, gasping and sighing only a hair's breadth from his lips, moaning as he captured her in a sequence of tender, loving kisses, being pressed closer and closer to their desired end.

Her blunt nails cut into his back as he felt them both nearing release, the sound of his moans blending with her cries as their climax overwhelmed them both once again, only this time, as they lapsed into each other, clinging to the other's form entirely, he did not pull from her but remained buried in her depths, fusing their lives together into a new life within her. He did not need to detect the scent of new life to know it was forming within her but he could not help his smile forming as the faint, new presence wove itself into her presence. He had waited to sire the child in her until he was certain that she was entirely comfortable with him and felt safe enough in their love making to allow him to overtake control from her entirely.

Sleep would claim her entirely in the next few moments, he knew. He'd kept her awake perhaps longer than he should have as soon as he could detect her growing fertility and the promise of life within her once they mated, however his instincts had demanded it and she… She had been so beautiful and compliant. She ached for him as desperately as he did for her. Slowly he pulled from her, quieting her whimpers with the softest kisses.

"I can't stay in you forever." He teased and smiled when she laughed, caressing his cheek with a delicate hand.

"Promise you'll be here when I wake…" She breathed, sighing as he kissed her eyes closed.

"I will be, though I will go long enough to end it, Love."

"Souta…" She sobbed suddenly and he drank away her tears slowly as they spilled from her closed eyes. "Are you sure it is enough to sate your need for revenge?"

"He's haunted us for the last two weeks as you healed and I claimed you. I won't have his presence hovering over us now and our child." She tensed and he kissed her with a chaste tenderness that instantly made her relax. "Shhh, my love. It is going to be alright. Sleep and I will be here when you wake. Sleep and know he'll be dead by the time you wake and maybe the nightmares will ebb when there's no more threat of him coming back to haunt us."

"I love you." Her voice was steady, though the words were soft and breathless. Sleep was taking her quickly no matter how she fought it.

"I love you. I have always loved you." He whispered and did not move to leave her until he was certain she was in the furthest depths of dreamless sleep.

He stood slowly, wrapping his mate carefully in warm blankets, slipping an extra pillow under her head as she slept. He dressed after combing out his thick, long mane of hair and then left their room. Once a guard had been posted by his door, he descended to the torture room where Hitomi and Kouga had spent most of their daylight hours tormenting the wicked Kyo for his sins.

He opened the door and stepped in, feeling the eyes of all present falling on him, though Kyo only had one eye remaining. The sight of him caused the prince of the West and North to smile ruefully. "You've done well, the both of you… But it is to end now."

Hitomi nodded and stepped back only to be encircled by her lover's arms. She leaned into his embrace and he placed a kiss on her neck and shoulder. "It is as you wish, Prince Souta."

"If I were to wish a fate for you, Kyo, your torture wouldn't end. You'd be in agony until Hitomi could no longer keep you alive because of you weakened, pitiful state for what you did to her. She's strong, though. Her heart is mine and I won't ever let her go, but she is so very strong even without me. You never broke her. You couldn't possibly break her. You aren't as dangerous as you thought." He drew his sword slowly and walked toward the now cowering man. The scent of his urine and blood and sweat and tears covered him in a putrid, sickening stench almost causing Souta to wretch. "But there is another now who doesn't deserve your shadow falling over them. Your torture brings us peace, but our child does not deserve to begin its life overshadowed by the wickedness you did to its mother and to me. Your suffering and death is enough to end this nightmare and, from the moment you take your last breath onward, I will make certain you are forgotten utterly." He moved forward and slashed away Kyo's manhood without even the full youkai in the room able to trace his movements. Souta closed his eyes, smiling faintly. "She was never yours. Not for a moment. Not for an instant. She is always her own, she only lends me her heart to protect. When you harmed her, you cut into my heart and so I wish that you should know, before I kill you, that you die not only to reap revenge for her pain, but for mine as well."

"M-mercy… P-please…." He gasped, shaking as he began to bleed out. He cried out sharply as the blade of Souta's katana pierced through him once, twice, three times all missing vital organs only causing excrutiating pain.

"There is no mercy for you." He breathed before moving to face the broken warrior and embedding his blade in his torso, cutting him open so that his viscera fell onto the floor, causing him to spasm and writhe in agony. After a short few seconds, his blade raised once more and the head of Kyo fell to the floor onto his bowls with a sickening thud. He cleaned his blade slowly and then turned and nodded to Hitomi and Kouga who only stared with thinly veiled concern at the man who had once been a boy playing in the snow.

As Souta left them, Hitomi turned her gaze wordlessly upward to her beloved and traced his jaw. Kouga took her hand and kissed her bloodied palm reverently, only responding once it was certain Souta was out of hearing range. "It was as much done to Takaya as it was to Kyo, my heart."

Hitomi trembled and curled into Kouga's embrace. "I know, Love… I only wish that he might heal now. For her sake. For their children's sake."

"He will. His family loves him. They will both heal and, in time, this will only be a shadowed memory hidden by recollection of happier times. You'll see."

"I hope you're correct."

"As do I."


	20. Reincarnation

_**Rewritten sorta. Will fill out forgotten and unwritten bits to make the readers happy because they were correct later.**_

_**Dedicated to Belas who caught this in the first place.**_

_**I do not own Inuyasha. Not ever. Not even in my wildest dreams.**_

_**Ivy.**_

**Chapter nineteen;**

**Reincarnation**

Her hair was silver-grey and her face, while old and wise, didn't look much over thirty. Sango had celebrated her hundredth and fiftieth birthday only a few months before and still she felt no older than fifty. It had been Lady Kagome, her dearest and oldest friend, who had made such a thing possible. Still, the youkai slayer knew very well that her time was coming soon just as her beloved Miroku's time had come a year before. There was only so much the miko's power could do and while Sango's body was still fairly young, her soul was gradually losing its fragile hold within its mortal shell. There was nothing the immortal Lady of the Western and Northern Lands could do to stop it. She'd lived a good life. She'd accepted her fate and was glad for it. She missed Miroku. She missed his lecherous, mischievous smile and the feel of his hands, even in their advanced age, as they wandered freely over her form with as much play and adoration he had shown her when they were newly wed over a century before. She'd wept as he died in her arms. Their family was around them as were their friends. He'd said he could feel himself dying and so the Lady and her Lord had been called and when it was realized nothing could be done for him, so had their family and circle of friends. He'd sung to his beloved Sango as she wept on his chest and ran his fingers through her steely tresses. When his song stopped and his hand stilled in her hair, she felt her heart break.

Her daughter and sons had convinced her to join them in the palace of Sesshomaru where her lover's ashes were placed next to that of Kaede, the two lost children of Rin and Lady Kagome, and Jaken. She found some peace there in what she had promised herself would be her last year of life. It was a secret promise. A promise that gave her enough time to say goodbye to her children, her grandchildren and her friends who had become more like family than she could ever really put into words. She probably could have lived several more decades, but she had chosen not to and now lay on her deathbed with her beautiful, youthful daughter holding her hand with tears in her indigo eyes she'd inherited from her father.

Over a hundred years before she'd helped her daughter, Kagome, give birth to her and Souta's first child, a hanyo boy who now leaned against a wall with his younger brother, watching his grandmother slip into the vast nothingness of eternity while his two sisters sat near him holding each other as they wept. Her two sons, Kohaku and Inuyasha had wed the first daughters of Kouga and Hitomi and Shippo and Rin. Their bonding with the hanyo girls had also ensured their extended life spans.

"Where is the Lady Kagome?" She murmured. Her voice was far off and tired. She needed her friend with a sudden urgency and smiled as the azure-eyed miko sat next to her, taking her free hand as Sango's daughter had her other one. "You will always be this way... The girl who climbed from the well... The sweet, pure girl who helped save me from self destruction only with your constant friendship. I'm so sorry that I'm leaving you, but I miss him, Kagome... Nothing can replace him. There's a vast void in my heart that threatens to devour me..."

"Sango..." She sobbed, kissing her friend's hand, meeting her eyes. "You do not have to explain or justify yourself. Least of all to me." Her tears began anew. She couldn't stop them. She was still mourning Miroku and now, barely a year later, she was mourning Sango. "I only wish I could have kept him with you longer."

"You did more than we ever dreamed, Kagome... Most humans only get half a century to live and barely over half that to love if they are lucky. Miroku once said that the reason true, eternal and unselfish love was so rare in humanity is because it takes so long to be truly tested. Forever is fleeting for us... Most of us, anyway." She smiled and Kagome laughed, shaking her head, squeezing Sango's hand tightly. "You gave us time, Kagome. You gave us a forever that was an incredible blessing. You proved to us simply by giving us more time that our love was the true kind. That we are forever. So I am not afraid. Wherever he is now, I will find him again and again. Don't mourn us, Kagome... Any of you. We'll find you again, even if it takes half a millennia."

She trembled and calmed, feeling her lover's hand on her shoulder to steady her. She looked up into his amber eyes, then back to her sweet friend, trembling as she sensed her life force ebb into nothingness, her soul freeing itself. "Sango..." She whimpered, reaching to her cheek, caressing the youkai slayer's slowly cooling features. "You will never be forgotten... Neither of you. Ever." She whispered, then looked to the woman's daughter, her own name sake. "Kagome..."

The girl looked to her, weeping silently. Souta was sitting behind her, letting her lean back against him. Her belly was slightly distended with their fifth child. They reached out their hands to each other and held tightly to each other over the body of their mother and friend.

------

She placed the ashes of her mother beside her father, then knelt with the miko and prayed silently. The child within her moved and she gasped, trembling. Souta was beside her instantly to steady her. "I'm alright... Your son is strong." She breathed.

"Son?" He murmured, still holding her against him.

She smiled faintly and nodded. Each baby she'd borne him she had correctly predicted the sex of. "We will need a name for him..."

The Lady smiled and stood, leaving the two lovers in the temple. She walked to her mate and slipped easily into his waiting embrace. He breathed her in and kissed her hair. "Is my mate alright?" He whispered, running his claws through her hair then holding her gently.

"Yes. I just need you to hold me, Love. They were... They were..."

"They were everything you lost being lost all over again."

She sobbed and clung to him. "Yes..."

"Do you believe they will find you again, my heart?"

She thought on it a moment, then nodded, meeting his gaze. "I have to... Though I don't know if they will remember me."

"A very wise old monk told me once that humans seek out their circles from previous life times. Those that mean the most to them they are undeniably drawn to. Like moths to a flame."

She smiled. "Miroku."

"Yes." He replied and kissed her lips chastely. He drew her into his arms and carried her back to the palace slowly as the sun set behind them. "He and she will find each other and then they will find you, Kagome. They can't help it. You are their flame."

"You always know what to say..."

"I say the truth, Love." He replied and kissed her brow. "I say what I believe."

Once they reached their room, he curled around her and she pressed tightly against him and wept, mourning almost silently the absence of her best loved friends.

------

Ayumi looked into her cup of jasmine tea. The scent was soothing to her and, every now and then, would cause her to feel as if she should remember something but then could not fix the memory in her mind. She'd graduated high school and was working her way through medical school. She wanted to be a pediatrician. Often she thought she must have been a midwife and mother in her past life, but she couldn't confirm it. There wasn't a way to do that unless she decided to do past life regression and she wasn't sure that even worked at all.

She looked up as the familiar brown haired young man sat across from her. Hojo smiled and ordered jasmine tea as well from the waitress along with some pastries. They met their eyes and smiled faintly. Since Kagome had left Japan two years before, they had made a point to meet every Saturday at the same tea house and talk about their lives and reminisce about their beloved friend from school.

"Have you spoken to Mrs. Higurashi lately?" She asked softly, sipping her tea.

"Two weeks ago. Her father is very ill so I brought some herbal remedies for him. She's asked me if I'd like a job working at the shrine."

Ayumi smiled faintly. "For some reason I think you'd be rather good at working there, though I've never taken you for a spiritual type, Hojo."

"Yes, well." He chuckled. "She said that she would pay me a small stipend to help her out while Souta attends high school and her father declines and after as well. She also said that I could have a room in her home to make up for the difference in pay so that I could have room and board while I complete my degree."

"That's right, your parents are moving, aren't they?"

He nodded. "In a couple of months. This will give me a place to stay as well as the chance to earn some extra money while I complete my degree."

"Have you decided on your major yet?" Ayumi asked, nibbling one of the pastries that had been brought to the table.

"I was considering business at one time, but it seems too hollow for me. Not that the people are hollow, just the profession is so much about earning money and, well... My instincts are more directed toward helping people and not fleecing them."

"You've always been a good guy, Hojo. I hope that never changes about you." Ayumi said, mischief dancing in her eyes. "Even though you're a player."

"Hey now! I resemble that remark!"

"Uhu." She laughed and shook her head. "Poor girls never know what hits them. How many girlfriends did you have in high school?"

"Does 'I don't have enough fingers on both my hands to count' qualify as a number?" He teased and sipped his tea. "Seriously, though, I've tamed quite a bit."

"You mean you have enough fingers on both hands to count them all now rather than needing a second pair."

He laughed and shook his head. "Believe it or not, Ayumi, I have no serious or casual relationships with any woman but you at this time. Haven't for a few months now. Frankly I haven't had the time since I started my new major."

"That's right, you never answered my question." She said, dodging the implication of his words. _He hasn't had time except to have tea with me every Saturday and sit and talk with me until we are forced to go out to dinner... Stop thinking that way, Ayumi._

"Psychology." He said, noting her sudden side step. "I want to become a therapist."

"Healer of the mind then..."

"And spirit." He said and smiled, meeting her eyes. There'd always been something about Ayumi. Something that caught his attention and made it hard for him to look away. She was beautiful and for years he'd blamed his attentions on that, however, as time had passed and he had gotten to know her especially after Kagome had left, he had discovered how beautiful she was internally as well. There was something about her. Something about the way she spoke and carried herself with such confidence and how kind and loving she was... How she wanted to be a children's doctor and always seemed to put the needs and wants of everyone else before her own that made him feel weak and strong all at once. He'd fought himself for a long while, but he was certain. He was completely in love with her. And the admission stirred something in him. Something like a memory he couldn't place. Every so often a scent or taste or sound would stir the memory further to the surface of his thoughts but the waters of his mind were too muddied and it always slipped past his grasp.

She smiled at his words and blushed faintly at the connection of their gaze. "Of course... Hojo, would you like to come with me to the Higurashi shrine today?"

"I'm not sure that anyone will be there..."

"You have a key, right?"

He nodded. "I took Mrs. Higurashi's offer, I just haven't moved in yet. Why do you want to go there?"

She shrugged. "I just feel like... Like I wanted to look around. All those years I'd visited Kagome and her mother once she left and I haven't really looked around."

He smiled and nodded. "Alright, then."

They paid and then drove to the shrine. Hojo opened the door for Ayumi and they ascended the steps to the shrine. He unlocked and opened the gate and the two walked through the whole of the grounds. As they came to the god tree, Ayumi froze and looked up at the diamond shaped scar on the bark. Her voice caught in her throat as a sudden flash of memory caught her up. She couldn't place it. She couldn't see it, but she knew it somehow.

Hojo watched her reaction, having had a similar one only a few weeks before. He watched her gaze go to the well house. "Do you want to look inside?" He asked softly.

She nodded and the two walked to the small but well maintained shack that was built around the well. He opened the door and helped her descend into the dimly lit room. She shuddered and looked over the edge of the well, into its low blackness. It was all so very... Familiar. "I feel like I've been here before... Like I've sat by this well waiting for someone I care for deeply... Like a sister with someone I love... Someone I was in love with... I... Kami, it sounds so silly."

He smiled faintly and gently rested his hand on her shoulder. "It doesn't sound silly, Ayumi... I felt the same way when I first came in here and looked around... And it's only stronger with you here."

"What do you think it means?" She asked, hesitantly meeting his gaze. For a staggering moment, Hojo was superimposed with the figure and face of a man with black hair and indigo eyes. She stepped back, tripping on the well, almost toppling into it.

He took a sharp breath and caught her before she fell. Their eyes met and he recognized her, finally. It wasn't as if he knew who she had been or who they had been. But he recognized her soul and suddenly pieces of the memory he'd been reaching for came into focus. He'd loved her before, he knew for certain now. He'd loved her in another life for a very, almost unnaturally long time before death had taken him. "Ayumi... Are you alright?"

She trembled and was suddenly falling into his arms. She couldn't place why, but she needed him to hold her. She needed his arms around her, as if she'd been aching and longing for his embrace for centuries. "I... I think so..." She breathed. She felt strange and silly but she couldn't pull away and from the strength of his embrace, he probably would have been reluctant to release her if she'd tried to pull away. Part of her never wanted to pull away... "I feel like I haven't seen or been near you in... Ages. Does that sound strange?"

"No." He whispered, breathing in the scent of her perfume. A faint melody slipped into his mind and suddenly he was singing it in hushed luulays into her hair. She melded even more fully against his form and pressed her eyes closed.

It was like a lullaby to her soul. Like a long lost love song that a distant, long forgotten self had heard sung by another who she had loved completely... And still she could not remember. But she didn't want to remember. If she did, she would love Hojo for who he might be, not who he was... And she didn't want to do that. She loved who he was and she never wanted to second guess that. She let the song that came so easily from him soothe that long forgotten self and as he released her and helped her from the well house, she felt complete and knew he did also.

They walked hand in hand back to his car to go to dinner. In the distance, several sets of unaging eyes watched the interplay and one smiled in understanding. She leaned against her beloved and felt the first vestige of peace in her soul since the monk and youkai slayer had slipped from life less than half a millennium before.


	21. Convergence Of A Circle

**Rewritten. A Lot. It's all you reader's fault. Every bit of it. I hope you enjoy.**

**I do not own Inuyasha. There's this thing called Copyright infringement… The law scares me.**

**Ivy**

**Chapter twenty;**

**Convergence of a circle**

The hospital smelled of death, pain and illness. He wrinkled his nose as he followed his mate toward the room where her grandfather had been placed. The doctor had said that it was dementia and that the old man might languish for another year to five years in the hospital or in a convalescent home. They had made sure to miss her brother and mother primarily because, though Kagome had not returned in the two years before Naraku had been defeated, Inuyasha had admitted to her early on that he had gone through the well several times in search of "ninja food" and to play video games with her brother. He'd reported on her safety to her mother and had happily helped her grandfather shortly before he fell ill. The half youkai could not confirm the last day he had visited the Higurashi shrine and so Sesshomaru had placed several of his servants and retainers near the shrine to watch the progression of events until it was certain that the well had closed for good and Kagome could go back to her family without interfering with her own future.

Still, when her grandfather had fallen so terribly ill, she had to go and see him. They entered his private room quietly and she sat in her usual chair. Sesshomaru had ensured that the elderly man had his own room and specialized care in his infirmity. Kagome had tried to thank him, but he had silenced her with a kiss. _He is your family and so he is my family, beloved._ He had said and she could not fight with his rational. Now he stood at the window looking out over Tokyo trying to imagine the country of his youth. The country where he'd fought beside his mate, sired his children within her and walked for countless sunsets.

She took her grandfather's hand and squeezed it gently. Centuries before she had found the only family that shared her name in the whole of the country and, with the help of Sesshomaru and Inuyasha, had resettled them at the shrine that had been built around the god tree and the well. Their lives had been eventful and full of adventures, great love and also great loss. They had decided to halt the birth of more children after the twins for a full millennia much as the others of their circle had. Inuyasha and Sayoko had four children, Kouga and Hitomi had three and Shippo and Rin had five before they had decided to end their procreation. Kagome had discovered a way to still their reproduction within the females of the pairs for up to a millennia, which all had decided to do. The process was irreversible until the duration was concluded. It was a decision that had brought a good deal of heartache, especially with the dawning of the twentieth century.

Kagome had begged them not to ask her for her reasoning for where they made their home in the twentieth century. She had chosen Canada in the lush forested mountains. She convinced all who she loved based only upon the fact that she had come from the future. One day in 1936, she had been sitting on the porch of her and Sesshomaru's grand mansion home. She was looking to the West, trembling softly, tears streaming down her face.

"Mother?" Her daughter had asked, standing beside her. She looked up and met her daughter's azure eyes. "Why are you crying? What's wrong?"

"I can't tell you, Kaede." She said softly. In only a short span of time, her country would be bombed. Her people would die. Her heart was rending, but she knew she could not stop what was to come. If she tried, she could destroy the series of events that would lead to her entering the well that fateful day when she was fifteen. "I can't..."

Kaede frowned and sat next to her. "Something terrible is going to happen in Japan with the war, isn't it? Mother... We have to go there if something horrible is going to happen. We have to..."

"We can't interfere in the future, Kaede."

"We wouldn't be." She said softly. Of her three children, Kaede was the most like her. She had her spirit, her beauty and her purity. The girl had even inherited some of her miko abilities. She could heal others, save them from terrible wounds. "Mother, all I'm talking about is going and tending the wounded. We wouldn't be inter..."

"Kaede, _no_. You don't understand. What will happen..." She stared deeply into her daughter's eyes. "Baby, what will happen might consume us all. It might kill us. It's best to stay away."

Kaede stood swiftly, looking wounded. "Mother, I refuse to sit here and watch as my own countrymen are massacred..."

"If you go, the chances are good that you will die, Kaede." She said, staring her daughter down. "I can't lose a child... Not again, baby..."

She shook her head fiercely. She looked to her father as he joined them on the porch with Akira and Souta. "She wants us to hide, Daddy. I won't hide here when I know I can do good there."

"Kaede, you must stay..." Sesshomaru started. There was a look in his eyes. An acceptance. The youkai had left Japan, abandoning it when the humans had begun their war. It was not just because of Kagome's warnings. It was because they did not want to be devoured by the human's wars. They had not begun them.

"I _will not_! You are not human. I am hanyo! All of your children are and still it seems I am the _only_ one of us... The only one of _all_ of those who are hiding here who even _cares_ what it is we are hiding from. There are people who will die who had nothing at all to do with what is happening and is to happen. Children. What do we say to them, Daddy? Would you turn and walk away from them as you did to Rin? How many times can you resurrect people before your sword stops working?" She snarled lightly. "Oh, that's right. You have to _care_ for it to work."

"Kaede, enough." Kagome said, standing, watching her daughter carefully.

"No, Momma. Not nearly enough." She met Kagome's gaze and for a moment it was as if she were looking at herself centuries before, impassioned and enflamed with the desire to help people... So much so she had convinced the stubborn Inuyasha who cared for no one but himself to fight for the innocent. When had she lost that part of herself?

She trembled and looked defeated at her child, her perfect little girl and embraced her suddenly. "Nothing I say will change your mind. Nothing I do will stop you. If I tried, I would fail because I see you in me, Kaede, and there was no one in the world who had power enough over my heart to slow my momentum."

Kaede trembled, stunned. She embraced her mother and closed her eyes. "I'll be careful, Momma. I promise I will be careful."

"Stay away from Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Kaede." She said, weakly, meeting her daughter's eyes. "Promise me that, please, baby. Go nowhere near them, please."

Kaede nodded. "I promise."

"Liar..." Kagome whispered, seeing the sudden determination in her daughter's eyes.

Kaede looked away and stepped back. "I promise to try... But if that is where the terror will occur, that is where I must go."

"Kaede..." Sesshomaru said, catching his daughter's gaze. "Stay. You have wandered through life until now. Never taking a lover or mate. Never seeking anything for your self. You deserve to find happiness, Little Flower. You deserve to find your purpose."

She'd smiled then. Her eyes shimmered and for a moment Kaede was almost the mirror image of her mother the day that she had purified the Shikon no Tama and made her selfless wish except for her long, silver hair. "This is my purpose, Daddy. This is what I was meant to do. I don't understand why, but it is. And I'm not afraid."

Kagome trembled and moved to her beloved. He'd embraced her and kissed the crown of her head, then looked to his daughter again. His beautiful little girl. "Then I cannot make you stay and I will not try. Go and find your destiny."

She nodded and turned from her parents and brothers. She walked to the shrine that had been built on their lands to house the ashes of those lost. She entered and knelt beside her grandmother who was praying silently and joined her in meditation.

"So you will be going." It was a statement of fact. Satori did not need to know what had transpired between Kaede and her parents to know what the girl's decision had been.

She opened her azure eyes slowly and turned to meet her grandmother's gaze. "I will be. Tomorrow I will begin the journey back to our homeland."

"You will not go alone."

"Akira doesn't want to come."

"I did not think he would, child, but you will not be going alone." Satori said simply and smiled a hollow half smile. "For centuries I have been living a hollow existence. Though your father and mother and all of their children have given me joy, I still have been empty of a purpose. I have simply become very busy. Now I see the danger your mother has been anticipating creeping closer and I realize as you have realized that it is futile to sit so idly by. Through your mother, I have come to appreciate innocence and purity. So many innocents are devoured by war. Together we might be able to ease their pain and so I will accompany you there."

Three days later they had made their trek to Japan. They did what they could and then, when the bombs fell, Satori and Kaede roamed the cities saving whom they could. They learned during those days what no youkai nor other spiritual being had known before. There was a way to kill a youkai, even a taiyoukai or one as powerful and ancient as Satori.

The radiation had weakened her significantly until she was no stronger than she would have been as a human woman. Her spiritual powers protected her from death as Kaede's did for her, however they could do very little else. One night as the two women nursed a group of children they had found hidden in the rubble on the outskirts of Nagasaki, a group of lost soldiers, overwrought with their country's defeat, came upon them.

They offered them food, rest and tending for their wounds, but when faced with two beautiful, almost ethereal women, the monsters in the men reared their ugly faces.

When Akira came upon the scent of his grandmother and sister's blood, he wasn't sure what to make of it. He hovered above ground in his energy form, a gift he had inherited from their father. When he found himself as weak as his sister and grandmother had been once he had his feet on the ground, he realized why there was so much blood and his concern only grew. He knew fear then. For the first time in his life, he knew what terror was. He raced toward where his senses told him that his sister was. Where his Kaede was. Their minds were still tied together as they had been within their mother's womb. The closer he came, the more he realized how close to death she was.

He found her lying in tall grass near the bodies of several children who had been slain. In her hand was the fine katana their father had commissioned for her centuries before. Around her were a few soldiers who had been decapitated. Her slender body was cut deeply into her sides. Even in her weakened state, she should have been able to heal herself. She shouldn't have been so close to death. He knelt beside her and cradled her against his chest, caressing her face. He felt crimson heat on his hands where he held her back and he whimpered. He looked down and saw a bullet hole in her back. The bullet was still inside her. She couldn't heal herself around it.

"Hold on… Please, hold on…" He gasped and pulled a dagger from his belt. He laid her on her stomach in the grass, resting her brow on his knee. He tried to cut the bullet from her, feeling her life fade with every moment he could not locate the deadly piece of lead still lodged within her. She cried out suddenly and he turned her over, brushing her silver hair from her face. She opened weak cobalt eyes and met their mirror as he stared at her in worry and fear. "Kaede… You've been shot…"

"I know… Grandmother went after him… Where is she?" Hot tears slipped down her perfect face and he cradled her close to him. She shivered suddenly. "I'm so cold…"

She was fading. "Kaede… Sister, please! I need to cut the bullet out."

"I won't survive it… I'm too weak to heal myself and you cannot heal as Momma and I can heal… Either the bullet kills me and we have time to say goodbye or you kill me trying to save me and never find a way to forgive yourself." He sobbed and she reached up a trembling hand to push a strand of silver from his face. "Warriors don't cry. You need to be strong…"

"I should have been here to protect you. I shouldn't have let you and Grandmother go alone, Kaede!" He held her tight against his chest, kissing her cheeks and hair. He felt the bond between them beginning to sever and started to panic. His twin, his sister was dying and he couldn't save her. He was too late to save her. "Kaede, don't! Please don't leave me!"

"You always were afraid of the dark." She laughed weakly and kissed his cheek.

"You never were." He murmured, tears slipping down his cheeks onto her face. She began to cool in his arms, her heart slowing to a stop.

"I love you." She whispered, trembling. "Why is it so cold?" She gasped for breath suddenly, more tears coursing down her cheeks only they were chilled. "Promise me…"

"Anything." He gasped, fighting to hold onto her through their bond.

"That you will forgive them… This is our home. You have to learn to forgive them… Help our family forgive them… Help Souta and Momma and Daddy… Please, Akira. Promise me."

"I can't promise that."

"I won't be able to rest until you do. I won't be able to move on to the next world."

"Then haunt me." He whispered severely and met her disbelieving eyes. Their mother's eyes. "Haunt us. Drive us insane with your presence, only do not leave us, Kaede."

"You said anything…" She whimpered, the ghost of a smile kissing her lips.

He laughed, and then choked on a sob, pressing his brow to hers as he felt their bond break no matter how tightly he held her to him. Her breath rattled and she stilled. He shook and held her corpse possessively against his chest. "I lied."

It took him hours to gather his senses and self enough from the void that had swallowed his sister into death to continue his search for their grandmother. He found Satori several hundred yards away, barely damaged with the exception of the bullet hole that had destroyed the crescent moon that adorned her beautiful brow. He snarled and sniffed the air for the foul one who had shot and killed both his sister and grandmother. Somewhere off in the distant trees he caught the drifting scent of mortal blood and death. He laid his sister beside his grandmother and walked up into the forest to find a soldier with Satori's sword impaled in his chest.

Akira reached out and pulled the sword from the soldier and proceeded to cut the dead man into small pieces without even a cry of rage. Hours later, covered in blood, carrying both the corpse of his sister and grandmother in his arms, he walked out of the range of the radiation far enough for his power to return and shifted into his energy form. He traveled back across the ocean, back to the wilds of Canada, back to his parent's home. His soul was numb and cold. His heart was broken. He had never felt more lost.

He laid both Satori and Kaede at his father's feet without a word. He heard Sesshomaru and Kagome call his name. He heard his brother's exclamation as he smoothed Kaede's bloodied silver hair and kissed her brow reverently. He heard them, but he did not respond. He had not a single word that could express his agony. His twin was dead. The other half of his soul was dead and he felt entirely broken.

Someone grabbed his shoulders and shook him, forcing him to stand. He snarled in rage and broke free. He focused on his brother's face finally and shook. They were all there. Looking at him. Their eyes were so confused and enraged and full of agony. There were simply no words to say.

"Akira… Tell me what happened. Tell us what happened now!" Souta snarled, trying to pull his brother back.

"She's dead." He said with the faintest whine behind his words. "My Kaede is dead. She died in my arms… I couldn't find it… The metal he put in her. She couldn't heal herself around it and I couldn't find it… She asked me to forgive them. How in the fuck am I supposed to forgive them!? Tell me how!" His rage overtook him suddenly and he shook, clawing his hands through his hair, falling to his knees. He felt his brother's hands on his shoulders and he flinched, looking up into Souta's gaze. "She was so brave. They cut into her… She was defending a group of children… They cut into her and she cut into them and then… He shot her in the back. She didn't even see him. How can I forgive him or any of them for such a dishonorable act? She wasn't a warrior, she was a healer! She shouldn't have ever been there alone! I should have been with her!"

"Akira, stop! What you've said doesn't explain why she's dead. She should have been able to survive that… Even Satori should have been able to survive her wounds."

"The bombs, Souta." He snarled and shook. "The bombs the humans made and dropped. They… There's something they let off. It fills the ground and it stops our powers. I had to walk five miles before I was far enough away from it to transform and return here."

"The radiation…" Her words were weak and broken. She knelt beside her daughter, beside her mate. Her eyes were distant and lost. She stood slowly and began to walk away. "This is my fault."

"Kagome?" Inuyasha frowned deeply and reached out to grab her arm. Her blue eyes were fractured and lost. "What are you talking about? How could this be your fault?"

She looked back on her family, on her mate who was now cradling his dead daughter with such tenderness, smoothing her brow reverently. Her eyes fell onto Satori, the only mother she'd had since the well had sealed. "I knew what was going to happen, Inuyasha. I knew about the radiation. I knew everything and not telling them before they left cost them their lives."

He snarled and grabbed both of her shoulders, shaking her suddenly so she would look at him. More tears slipped down her face and he felt himself join her in sorrow as heated wet slipped down his cheeks. "Did you know it would dampen a youkai's powers? Did you know that a bullet would be enough to kill them once they were in the thick of it? Did you know that, Kagome? Did you know any of it?"

She sobbed suddenly and fell to her knees. He guided her down and held her as she wept into his embrace. She shook her head and clung to him fiercely. "I didn't… I didn't know…"

"Then it isn't your fault, damnit." He growled, feeling his rage build as his eyes fell on his brother still holding Kaede. The taiyoukai was crying silently, simply staring at his little girl. He gently pulled away from his friend and met her eyes meaningfully. "He needs you, Kagome. Your mate needs you. Your sons need you." He leaned and pressed his brow to hers and he felt her shudder. "We all need you to be strong. You're the only light we have now."

She gripped his wrists and nodded slowly. She stood with his help and walked to her mate and caressed his jaw with her fingers. He leaned into her touch but did not respond. "Sesshou."

"She won't wake up." He whispered and shivered suddenly. He clutched his daughter to his chest with all of his strength. "She's so cold, Kagome."

She felt her heart break. She knelt behind him and wrapped her arms around him and bit back the sob that threatened to claim her. He leaned into her embrace, shaking with tears and growing rage. "We need to take her and Satori inside, Love. They won't wake up and we need to make them ready."

"No." He snarled and pulled away from her, darting back from the group. His eyes bled to crimson suddenly as he stared at his mate. She stood and put out her hands gently, reaching for him and their daughter. He fought back his beast and tried to breathe. Slowly his eyes returned to their liquid amber. He looked down on his daughter's cold; still form and slowly he realized what his heart had been unable to comprehend. "She's dead." He whispered and felt a shudder run through him.

Kagome fought the tremor that almost overtook her and walked to him, tracing his jaw with her fingertips. "We need to take them inside."

He nodded slowly and met her gaze. "Yes." He whispered and looked to Inuyasha who was already gathering Satori in his arms.

"Father…" Souta's voice was hollow. When their amber eyes met, they exchanged the same haunted expression. "Tenseiga… Has it pulsed?"

Sesshomaru reached to the hilt of his sword, cradling Kaede's full weight in the crook of one arm. He had kept it near him since Kaede and Satori had ventured back to Japan in case they returned in such a state. It had not pulsed. It was that confirmation that he could not save either his mother or precious little girl that had sent him nearly into insanity and fully into grief. He could only guess that it was because the sword had been forged to resurrect humans and both women possessed the blood of a youkai. No doubt the residual radiation in their bodies did not help either, but he was too far from reason to recognize that fact. "I cannot save them…"

Souta nodded and shuddered. He helped his younger brother back to the house. As he ascended the stairs he met the gaze of his beloved and felt some part of him that was all rage and brokenness still. Tears slipped down his cheeks and he reached out to her, caressing her cheek as they joined their family within to ready Kaede and Satori for cremation.

Several decades later, Kagome and Sesshomaru both sat by a dying old man who didn't even recognize his granddaughter who he'd loved so dearly for so long. She kissed the old man's brow and stood with her lover and mate. He slipped his arm around her waist and led Kagome out to the car that waited for them to take them back to their home in the mountains. His castle still stood, though it was hidden from human eyes. In Tokyo they lived in a fine three story town house in the center of town.

Sesshomaru had become wealthy over the centuries. At first it was his own shrewd ability, which had compiled his coffers. In the twentieth century, it had been his mate who had gently shifted his attention to good business ventures that, at the time, had seemed fool hearty. Computers, cars, earth quake proof construction techniques and other such modern marvels had made them richer than they could have imagined. Unless the world fell apart, the Lord and Lady of all the youkai lands of Japan would never have to want for anything.

Once they'd reached the townhouse, Sesshomaru scooped up his mate and ascended the stairs to the front door, then rode their private elevator up several stories until they reached their floor. She curled into his arms, weaving a silken strand of his hair around her fingers. He smiled faintly and opened the door, then walked to their sofa. He sat with her for a long while without saying anything. As the sun set he looked down into her azure eyes and traced her jaw.

"How is my pretty mate fairing?" He asked softly. In some ways he had become more mellow than he ever had been before. The death of Kaede had broken the parts of him that had allowed him to care about humanity and so all his love, all his tenderness was directed inward to his circle and family and especially to his mate.

"Tired and sad, Love." She breathed, tracing his jaw with his fingers. "But glad to be home with you. Glad to be in your arms, safe and loved."

"Always, Kagome." He whispered and kissed her deeply. "Long after the stars go out."

She smiled and met his golden eyes with fervent, deep love. "As long as it's eternity with you."

He kissed her again and they clung together, silent. "Do you still think about her... About..."

"Always, Love." She whispered, knowing exactly who he was speaking of. Their daughter. Their lost baby girl. "She's never far from my heart."

He clutched her tighter and she felt the sudden wet of his tears on her shoulder. She ran her fingers through his hair, kissing his shoulders and neck gently.

"Shhh... She... She died doing what she felt was her destiny. That's why we let her go..." She murmured.

"She died in agony, Kagome. She was torn from her destiny by men who will never face the punishment for their actions."

"Sesshou..." She breathed and gently pressed her brow to his. They had special bracelets that used illusionary magic to hide their markings, but they still could see them. The illusion was only for humanity's benefit. "She was a chosen of Kami, just like me. Those men were punished... I am certain. We must find peace knowing she is at peace somehow. Somewhere."

He nodded after a moment and kissed her gently. "I need you..." He whispered, laying her back onto the couch. In these moments, the only thing that could make the pain ease was her as their bodies entwined. The comfort was always fleeting, but it was enough to help them move on. Nearly seventy years later and the wounds were still fresh. They would be for centuries. They might never heal. But as their souls and minds and bodies climaxed over and over again, crashing together in a long known dance of pleasure, passion, love and need, there were moments when they could simply float in a place where there was no pain, no doubt, no loss. Only their love and the love they held for their offspring that was, had been and someday, in time, would be.

------

He watched her as she walked the bow of the ship with her delicate fingertips tracing the metal of the guard rail. For the last few decades they had traveled the world by boat from one continent to the next. They were distanced from the world and its people. They were distanced from almost everything and everyone except themselves, their children and the small circle that had become an extension of their consciousness. Inuyasha loved her more now than he had ever thought it was possible for him to love. Kikyo was like a bad dream in his mind now and Kagome the fondest memory of his youth. They had several thousand years still before they would be claimed by age or infirmity and thousands more before a natural death would catch up with them and he knew that their love would only deepen as those years passed.

Sayoko turned and met his amber eyes with her lavender ones. She'd soften over the centuries. She'd traded in her sword practice for the lyrics of songs that had lulled their children to sleep and soothed both of their inner beasts. The calloused touch of the warrior woman had become the silken touch of the loving mother so seemlessly that it was hard to imagine her to be much different from the girl he'd pulled from the river and saved from drowning. On the boat, far from society and the ritual of human life, the two hanyou could be themselves. Their children looked human without the aid of an illusionary bracelet because of the spiritual bond they shared, much like Kagome and Sesshomaru. However, they were far from normal and in a world that would study them scientifically before treating them like people if the illusionary magic failed, the pair had chosen to live their lives away from humanity until either society again began to accept the existence of youkai or the world fell in on itself and everything started over again. One way or another, it was only a matter of time.

He stood and walked to where she stood near the bow of the ship and snaked an arm around her waist. She leaned against him and the faintest of sighs passed over her lips. "You miss them?"

"Always. It is wonderful like this, here with you, but I miss Hitomi and Kagome and Rin. I miss hearing their voices and seeing our children."

He smiled faintly and kissed her neck. "Then we will return to Tokyo. It has been about a decade, hasn't it?"

She nodded and smiled, caressing his arms. "That it has."

"I'll turn the boat..."

"Wait." She breathed and leaned more fully against him. "Just a little longer."

He smiled and held her tighter. "Changing your mind?"

"No... Just savoring what I know I'll be missing in about five years... The two of us curled together like this with no one but ourselves to have to deal with."

He chuckled and stood with her, supporting her against him gently. Time had changed them both, but their closeness had remained the same. Their love had stayed and that was all that mattered.

------

She moved with the grace and dexterity of a feline as she slipped into the home of the despot who was splitting his time at the moment between selling children as sex slaves and shipping tainted drugs by the ton throughout the world. For almost five years she'd watched the fat, greasy man who so incited her ire and hatred. She would kill him tonight.

Outside the mansion he was stalking, hunting and slaying the rank man's guards slowly to ensure his lover completed her task. Governments and wealthy nobility had hired them as their assassins for almost two centuries. They were believed to be a line of killers rather than two who were consistently employed. Humanity had forgotten the spiritual of the world. It had become the realm of myth and legend and so, the myths and legends had learned to live in the shadows until the time came when they again could slip into the light.

His eyes fell on the slender curves of Hitomi as she slid open the door on the second story balcony. Currently they were doing something that made her particularly happy. They were assassinating someone for free. It granted her the ability to take her time, to plan everything in detail. She loved making a "perfect kill" and he could never deny her. He loved the act as much as she did. They only disposed of the truly evil, however, in this world, in this time there were far more in existence than they could kill on their own. They settled on the worst and let the rest of the world take care of those who remained. The world itself was as ruthless as they were.

She crouched down by his bed and watched the monster sleep with a small girl in the crook of his arm. She smelled of her own blood and was naked and bruised. Hitomi felt as if she could wretch. She would take the girl away from and, if no family could be found to care for her, help her heal, she and Kouga would raise her together. They had done as much several times over their centuries together. They were not monsters, after all.

Hitomi slipped the Novocain soaked cloth from her pocket and free from the plastic bag it had rested in, and then put it to the girl's nose gently so she was completely unconscious for what came next. The girl had been raped and tortured by the bastard who held her and she didn't need to see him murdered before her. She couldn't be older than eight. The knowledge of his death would soothe her later once she was safe and home with the youkai-assassin couple.

When she was satisfied that the girl was deeply unconscious, she did the same to the man, then pulled the girl away and went to work. As her lover took care of his men outside the room, she tied the fat man down and gagged him, then simply waited for him to wake. When he did, she was hovering over him in her human form. She met his eyes and spoke softly in his native tongue. "Hello. I wanted you to be awake so you would know what I am going to do to you. You've murdered and enslaved so many innocents, that I decided this had to be done slowly. You should know that there's no one coming to save you. Your men are all dead and your security feeds have been cut. I have a full two hours before anyone will even suspect that what is happening is something other than you dealing with your cliental, so feel free to scream. I do so like it when they scream…"

He did, in fact scream. He died slowly, agonizingly over the course of the next hour. When she'd finished, she felt her lover's eyes on her. She slipped off the bed and smiled to him. Kouga was holding the small girl in his arms and smiling a wolfish grin. "I love to watch you work."

She moved to his side and kissed him deeply over the form of the girl. "I love it when you watch me."

"I assume we are going to be caring for the girl?"

She nodded. "If we leave her, she will be either enslaved or killed. I thought about finding her a family, but we could provide for her much more adequately than any human couple could…"

"And you have been feeling the chill of an empty den of late." He said, chuckling as they made their way out of the house.

She blushed and nodded as they slipped into their car and drove away from the slaughterhouse they'd left behind. The girl was lain on the back seat and buckled in carefully. Kouga had wrapped her in a blanket, though she was still naked. "Love… I was thinking perhaps we should go back to Japan."

He smiled. He knew that it had been coming for a few months. She missed her sister and Kagome and Rin. The four of them were fast friends and took great pleasure in each other's company. For decades after the Second World War, Hitomi had remained by Kagome's side and refused to leave for any reason for longer than a few days. The Lady mourned with her Lord, but it had been Hitomi's presence that had helped Kagome through some of the hardest times. Sesshomaru had refused to allow Kagome to box up his daughter's things for nearly a decade, claiming that it was like killing her all over again. And while Hitomi had comforted Kagome, Kouga had done his best to help Sesshomaru.

"Shall we catch a flight tonight, Love?" He asked softly.

"Tomorrow… Once the girl is awake and has been told what she needs to know. It would be difficult for her to wake on a plane considering what she fell asleep to." She said softly and took his hand in hers, squeezing gently.

He squeezed her hand in return, caressing her palm with his thumb gently. Over his years with her, he'd found himself entranced with how perfectly their lives and hearts had fit together. He had found, though he could never commit to very much in life, he could commit to her and their love. She brought out the best in him without having to try and, to his delight, he brought out the best in her.

By the time they reached the house they had been renting, the girl was beginning to stir. They slipped out of the car and took her up into their room where Hitomi bathed the child before she woke completely. Hitomi slipped her into one of her own shirts and it covered her like she was in a nightgown. She looked up into Hitomi's unnatural violet eyes with her own deep brown ones.

"Senora… Are you an angel?" She asked softly. Hitomi had her illusionary bracelet on, so she looked human aside from her eyes. She'd refused to have them be hidden.

Hitomi smiled and pushed back the girl's hair carefully. "No, sweetheart. My name is Hitomi and you are safe now. My husband and I took you away from the bad man who hurt you. He is dead now and we will take care of you."

The girl trembled and clung to Hitomi, sobbing. "He killed Momma and Pappi… They worked for him and wanted to quit to take me to America… And then he killed them and took me away and… And…"

"Shhh, baby." Kouga said softly and sat behind the girl, caressing her back, helping the her calm. "He's gone now and will never hurt anyone ever again."

Hitomi met her lover's gaze and smiled sadly as she smoothed the girl's chocolate hair where it flowed down her back. She looked back to the girl. "What's your name, Sweetheart?"

"Elsbeth." She said softly and met Hitomi's gaze timidly.

"Elsbeth… Have you ever heard of a place called Japan?"

She nodded. "I learned about it from Pappi when he taught me to read. It's an island in the Pacific Ocean across from California in America."

"Your Pappi was very intelligent then."

"Pappi was a professor. Then he went into debt to the bad man. Momma said that we had to work for the bad man until Pappi had paid back his debt."

"Do you know how to speak any other languages?"

"English. Pappi had started to teach me Japanese and Mandarin and French. He said someday everyone would need to learn to speak to each other because the world was getting smaller."

Kouga smiled. "Would you like to come with us to Japan, Elsbeth?"

She trembled and glowed, though tears began to flow down her cheeks. "You really want to take care of me?" She looked to Kouga, meeting his blue eyes. There was kindness there and warmth.

"Yes, baby. We can't replace your Momma and Pappi, but we can help give you the life they would have wanted you to have."

"What… What do you want from me?" She asked, suddenly afraid.

"Nothing, Elsbeth." Hitomi said, firmly, but with warmth. "We aren't angels, sweetheart, but we try to do good in this world that's so full of bad and bad men like the one who had you. We won't hurt you and the only thing we want from you is to be happy. We only want you to find peace."

The girl nodded and curled against Hitomi, trembling as she cried again. She fell asleep and then, the next morning, they took her shopping for clothing and everything else she would need. That evening they boarded the chartered jet bound for Tokyo, Japan to renew the old circle and again be family as it was always intended.

------

Rin lay curled against his chest in the dying sunlight. Twilight was their favorite time of day. As they lay on the soft grass of the French country side, the pair found peace and solace in the red, lavender and orange hues that danced along the skyline and reflected on the young green of the lush grass all around them.

They'd lived in Europe for fifty years and in France for thirty. Their children had grown and slipped into the world without much difficulty and made their own lives. Kagome had bonded each of them with those they had chosen to love and mate with and Sesshomaru had given them each the funds they'd need to start their lives. While Sesshomaru and Kagome had found the strength to return to Japan, Rin and Shippo only visited now and again for a few years so that they could be near their mother and father.

After Satori and Kaede had been murdered, they'd both been torn apart in grief, but nowhere near as deeply as Kagome and Sesshomaru had been. Nor Akira. Nor Souta. Souta had run with his mate to Europe in despair. Rin and Shippo had followed them on their parent's request to ensure that they were safe. When they'd found them in the ruins of a world that had been torn by war, Rin had looked at her brother, the beautiful boy who she had once sworn she wanted all of her children to be like because he was so perfect.

She walked to his side and took his hand and he grasped hers in return. "Souta…" She whispered. They'd tracked him to England. He was looking over the Tames, his mate and beloved sitting nearby with her hands resting over her belly where their child rested. They'd only had Lady Kagome still her fertility for a few centuries rather than a millennia considering they had much less of an eternity.

He looked and met his sister's eyes, gripping her hand a bit tighter. "There's nothing that anyone can say that will make the pain any less difficult to bare, Rin. They murdered her. They killed her without honor or mercy. We should have been with her, Akira and me. We should have followed her there and protected her. Maybe she'd still be with us if we had."

"Souta, you can't blame yourself. For the sake of your mate and the child she carries, you need to continue on and live as you know Kaede would have wanted you to."

"I keep thinking of everything she never did or had. She never loved. She never had a child. She never did a lot of things or knew a lot of things or had a lot of things. She was pure and had remained that way because she wanted to. And… When she was returned to us all of that purity and innocence had been ripped away when her soul was ripped from her body." He released her hand and grasped the railing where he stood, still staring at the water below them. "When she was born I… I almost hated her. I didn't want a sister. I didn't want that kind of… Responsibility. To be a good brother, not just a strong brother. To have someone other than my mate and children to protect. I didn't want her. And then she smiled at me and I swore I'd use the rest of my lifetime making that up to her. I didn't want her, but I needed her. She made me better. She made me stronger. And now she's gone… Stolen from me. Stolen from us. I can't forgive myself for that."

Kagome gasped from where she sat and trembled. He was at her side without a thought, his arms wrapped around her protectively. She guided his hand to her abdomen and smiled as he gripped gently. "It moves." She whispered and he held her tighter to him.

Rin watched her brother and smiled faintly as Shippo wrapped around her. They'd been so afraid for him. They'd wanted to save him and bring him back. Yet, as that sunset had painted the water, the dying yellow light resting on her brother and his mate for a few moments more before night claimed their world, Rin and Shippo realized that they couldn't ever save him. They didn't have that power. Only his mate and the tiny, fragile life she held within her could have done that.

Years later they lay in a similar sunset, happy for the moment. Kagome and Souta had returned to Japan when their parents had along with Akira. The boy had been broken when his twin sister had been murdered. He had been a playboy for most of his life, but when she'd died, he'd abandoned such diversions. Still they all worried for him. He refused to fall in love. Many times he'd come close but had diverted his gaze. Sesshomaru had asked him why once when Rin had visited them in Tokyo.

"Before she died, I asked Kaede why she'd never found a mate for herself… She'd had plenty of opportunities and she declined them all." He smiled faintly to his father. There was sadness in his eyes. "She said that there was no point in settling on someone who seemed a reasonable choice when her heart hadn't found the one it wanted. There were plenty of men she could have given herself to and known you and Mother would have approved but she didn't love them. Not any of them. She said she would mate the man who captured her heart and he hadn't come into her life yet. After she died, I found I pitied him even though we'd never met… That man whom she was saving herself for. But I understood what she meant. In all the years I've played around, I've never loved any of the women I've taken to my bed. That's why I have no mate. And that is why I am not indulging myself as I was… There's no love in me for them. Until there is, I will not indulge myself as I did."

It had been accepted of him after that. Kagome and Sesshomaru had resigned themselves to the possibility that their son might never find happiness as they had. Several years later, the half youkai had enrolled in Tokyo University for a fourth degree in psychology. He'd met a girl who was studying abroad named Alexis who was from New York. She was fluent in Japanese and, from the beginning, Akira was certain there was something different about her.

She was tall and slender with sharp green eyes and fiery red hair, typical of her Irish heritage. She was the daughter of a first generation American who had married a young man who was half Native American. There was a certain magic that emanated from her that no one of his family could even place. It was only when he'd followed her back to her home that he discovered what it was. Her father was a quarter youkai from the North American bloodlines and her mother was half fae. It was because of the strange mixture of blood that she seemed so unusual to everyone. Her parents recognized him immediately for his youkai blood and, while not actively voicing their relief; they had openly welcomed him into the family.

He'd brought her to Paris with him to meet Shippo and Rin shortly before he'd asked her to be his mate. She was a delightful creature who seemed to exude magic wherever she walked.

"Do you love her, Akira?" Shippo had asked softly as the two men watched Rin and Alexis gathering roses in the garden.

"Yes." He said softly and smiled a mischievous smile. "She is perfect."

"Does she love you?"

He nodded softly. "She has said so and the girl is incapable of lying. She knows how old I am and where I have been… What I have done and she loves me not just for everything else that I am other than that… But for that as well. I feel incredibly blessed."

"Have you told our parents?" Shippo asked, smiling.

"They knew before I left to follow her. But no. I haven't said the words yet. I won't until I return to Japan with her in a couple of months and ask my mother to bond us."

They had returned only a month before and, looking into the sunset, both the kitsune and his equally mischievous and curious mate were wondering whether or not they should return to their family again. No word had come of their joining or their wedding and so both were terribly curious.

"You know, we should go, Love?" Rin began quietly.

Shippo chuckled and hugged her tightly. "I know. I was just waiting for you to say the words."

"Why for me to say them?"

"Because then, when we're asked why we decided to come I won't have to tell them because I was too curious for my own good."

"It will be because you were appeasing me?"

"Exactly."

She laughed and kissed him deeply. "Trouble maker."

He only smiled and kissed her again.


	22. Endings And Beginnings

_**Rewritten. Just a tid-bit.**_

_**I do not own Inuyasha. I just cuddle him sometimes when he slips out of my daydreams.**_

**Epilogue;**

**Endings and beginnings**

The quartet exited the elevator into the hall that led to Kagome and Sesshomaru's townhouse. Souta looked to his slightly shorter brother and smirked as he noted again how close he was holding Alexis to him. The girl was almost elven in appearance and exuded the same magic she had before she'd been bonded to Akira. He looked back to his mate and squeezed her hand. She glowed and leaned against his shoulder as he knocked on their parent's door.

Sesshomaru opened it a few moments later and smiled faintly to the four of them, letting them in. "Your mother is napping. I will go and get her." He said simply and ascended the stairs.

Akira and Souta shared a meaningful look. Their mother didn't take naps in the middle of the day except when she was with child. The most likely reason, then, was the two had been together fairly recently and she was resting in the aftermath. They hadn't been to see them in little over two weeks. Akira and Alexis had vanished into his apartment for the better part of that time and only in the last couple of days had they seen fit to join the pair in watching the Higurashi shrine.

Souta and Kagome had made it a point to do so every day during the lunch hour until sunset, relieving the usual guard that Sesshomaru had posted there. For the better part of two years as their youngest child was learning to crawl, then walk, they had focused their attention on the well, waiting to see when it would finally close and the magic would disperse completely. The day before they had seen Inuyasha slip through and receive several crates of what he had so fervently called "ninja food." He'd returned through the well after saying goodbye to their grandmother and uncle.

And then _it_ had happened. They looked up and saw their mother and father descend the stairs slowly. Kagome was curled sleepily in her lover's arms, looking more the new bride than mother to the two grown men who waited with their mates for her and their father. Then her scent hit their noses. She was pregnant.

"Momma…" Akira whispered softly. Alexis was not yet ready for a child. They had ensured she did not conceive with modern contraceptives. She was not yet with child, however he knew that scent instantly. The scent of life within his mother's life. "How?"

Lady Kagome smiled wearily and reached out her hand to her youngest son, caressing his cheek. "Sheer determination. A millennia was too long for both of us… Especially after Kaede. I used all the energy I had to cancel what I had worked so hard to still within me… So new life could be created."

He smiled sadly and kissed her hand gently. "You must be exhausted."

"She is." His father confirmed as he walked with her into the living room. He sat and cradled her against his chest and ran his clawed hands through her hair. "What is it you have come to report?"

"The well." Souta said as he sat across from his father. His Kagome sat next to him, resting her head on his shoulder. "The magic faded this afternoon completely. The breach between times is sealed."

Sesshomaru looked down at his mate, scenting her tears. He held her tightly to him and kissed her brow. "You can go home now, Love."

"I know, Sesshou. They are happy tears." She whispered and trembled when he kissed her, feeling him smile where their lips touched.

"Good." He breathed, then looked to his offspring and their mates. "I have gotten word from Inuyasha, Kouga and Shippo. They are returning to Tokyo and will be here within the next few days with Sayoko, Hitomi and Rin. It seems Hitomi and Kouga have adopted another child they found during their… Excursions. Her name is Elsbeth and, according to Kouga, she speaks some Japanese, though her English is better."

Alexis smiled as her mate scowled. "Oh good. Someone to actually speak my native tongue to." She teased.

"Horrid language." Akira scoffed, but smiled at her, caressing her jaw gently.

"They have picked up another stray?" Souta asked softly, caressing Kagome's palm as he watched his mother and father.

"It would seem so." Lady Kagome said, smiling, though her eyes quickly returned to her beloved's amber gaze.

"They do that." Sesshomaru mused and leaned to kiss his beloved deeply, clutching her tightly to his chest.

Souta cleared his throat and his father looked up with a faint growl. "Father, when would you like to prepare to go to the shrine?"

"Once the rest of the circle has arrived here. A week if not sooner." He replied, curtailing his beast.

"Lord Sesshomaru, there is something else." Kagome said softly, meeting her father in law's gaze timidly. "I saw… I saw them. I knew them almost instantly… And when the well closed completely, it is almost as if the magic dispersed allowed them to know each other as well."

"Kagome… what are you talking about?" Lady Kagome asked softly, meeting the girl's indigo gaze with her azure one.

"My parents, Lady Kagome. They were at the well when it closed and they recognized each other, I am certain of it."

He felt her shudder against him at their daughter in law's words. "Are you certain?" He asked softly. "Are you certain it was Miroku and Sango?"

She nodded softly and smiled. "Yes. For a moment, the magic amplified their energies. It couldn't have been anyone but their reincarnations."

"And they are together?" Kagome asked her namesake.

"Yes. They… I've seen them before at the shrine, but I didn't recognize them then. They were even there once when I came to visit. His name is… Hojo I believe and hers is Ayumi. They often visit your mother and… Lady Kagome, what is it?"

She was crying again. "Hojo and Ayumi." She breathed the names with reverence. "They were my friends. I was in school with them. Out of everyone I knew then, they were always standing beside me. They helped me through my classes and refused to give up on me… It's so strange, but I think I already knew what you just told me, sweetheart."

Kagome smiled and nodded, trembling faintly. "They won't know us."

"They know me, baby. And through me they'll come to know you and your brothers again. They may never remember you, but in time they will know you." Lady Kagome replied softly. "If they could remember their love for each other from one incarnation to the next, I doubt they could so easily forget the love they held for their children."

------

Mrs. Higurashi frowned and looked out to the street. A line of cars had parked in front of the shrine and a small group of people was gathering near the gate. _Odd… We don't usually have big groups during the week._ "Souta!?"

"Yeah, Mom?" Her son ran down the stairs. He was a teenager. He looked more and more like his father every day and part of her ached for it. Since Grandpa had been put in the hospital, Souta had been nearly her only company except for Hojo who was living in Grandpa's old room. At the moment Ayumi and Hojo were working in the garden and the only one to greet the visitors would be Souta.

"There's a group of people coming to the gate. Could you go and meet them?" She asked softly and smiled warmly to her son.

"No problem, Mom." He grinned and ran out the door to the gate.

Mrs. Higurashi chuckled and shook her head. _Definitely like his father._

Souta rushed to the gate and opened it for the visitors. He raised a brow at the young man who stood in front of him. He had long curly black hair pulled behind his head and sharp amber eyes. _Like Inuyasha's, but… Different._ There were others gathering near him and a beautiful woman was at his side. "Hello! Are you here to visit the shrine? Mom wasn't expecting anyone, or at least not a group this big. Can I show you around?"

"Souta?" The voice hit him hard with the familiarity of it. He froze and his gaze turned to where the sound of his name had originated. Her face was as he remembered her. She was slightly different; maybe a couple of years older, and her eyes were warmer and more serene than his memory told him they had been before.

"Kagome…" He whispered and trembled as tears fell down her perfect face. He'd worshiped his sister and missed her to a painful degree when she'd gone two years earlier. And here she was, in front of him, rather than coming back through the well.

She rushed into his arms and held onto him tightly, sobbing as he readily embraced her and clung to her. "I missed you so much…" She whispered into his ear. He was taller than she remembered. He was taller than she was and it both unnerved her and filled her with pride. He was the mirror of their father.

"I missed you too. Like crazy." He murmured, burying his face in her hair. "But… Why did you come by car? I mean… Why not the well? We only saw Inuyasha a few days ago…"

She pulled back and pushed a stray lock of his hair from his face. "I'll tell you everything, but once we're inside. It's a very long story…"

"It's only been two years…"

"For you." She whispered, then took his hand and led the group into the shrine and up to the house.

Inuyasha chuckled slightly and elbowed his nephew, Souta, gently. The young man narrowed his eyes and looked at his hanyo uncle sideways. "Welcome to the confusion of inherited names. You get to join in the fun with the rest of us now."

"You're an ass." He grumbled softly and decided to ignore his uncle Inuyasha for the moment.

Inuyasha chuckled and shook his head as he returned his gaze to his friend and her brother.

Mrs. Higurashi looked up from her work again and dropped the dish she had been holding. It shattered on the floor as she watched her son and daughter approach the house. _Kagome…_ She walked to the front door, her hands shaking as she gripped the lintel until her knuckles turned white. Tears streamed down her face. The two women watched each other, only a few yards apart. She'd changed. There were centuries in her eyes and a sparkle that only could come with motherhood. Slowly, Mrs. Higurashi found her feet again and walked toward her daughter. She reached out and caressed her cheek gently. "I was beginning to think I would never see my little girl again… And it seems I was right. You aren't a little girl any more, are you, Kagome?"

Tears slipped down her cheeks again and she shook her head. "No, Momma. I am not."

She smiled and pulled her daughter into a tight embrace as happy silent tears wet her cheeks. "You have to tell me everything."

Kagome clung to her mother and nodded. It had been half a millennia but the ache for her mother's embrace hadn't dimmed since the day that she had wished upon the Shikon no Tama.

Mrs. Higurashi led her daughter and the small group into her home. It was only then that they let down the illusions created by their bracelets. Slowly the story was retold about their adventures and lives, their losses and their gains, love and hatred, war and peace, everything that had occurred between the day that Kagome had sacrificed everything and the current moment when she'd regained her life. In time, Hojo and Ayumi were brought into the conversation and the great secret that had been their best friend's life. And, whether it was Kami's will or something else, it came as no great surprise.

The night would pass and the world would reorder itself to the revelations made between the circle on the sacred ground of the Higurashi Shrine. Time would continue on its path and eternity would spiral and turn in the wake of the immortals that made their ways. In time, the world would again embrace the myths who lived in its midst and, as with everything, the cycle would renew itself again and again until the earth stilled and the sun died. Still they would remain, for the only thing that endures through the ages is love and the choices we make for its sake.

**Fin.**


	23. The Reasoning Behind The Revision

_**Why I did it**_

**A confession behind my revision**

This was my very first Fanfiction. It came from me like water from the rock or manna from the sky after a long, painful span of writer's block as well as a year filled with loss, transition and self realizations that culminated in the serendipitous moment that I found Fanfiction ala Inuyasha.

I have a lot of reasons why I prefer Sesshomaru/Kagome pairings over all others. First, let me simply say that Kagome is my favorite character quickly followed by Sesshomaru, his fluffy mokomokosama (He's a character. Yes he is. Don't believe me? Fine, then. It's your turn to be wrong.) then Inuyasha. The list continues with the rest of the main cast ending with Ayame, then living Kikyo, then mud-pie Kikyo and, finally, Naraku. Bleh. BLEH! In any case, now that you know who I love and who I hate, let me be specifically clear that the reason I will not ever pair Inuyasha with Kikyo or Kouga with Ayame is because I can't find anything pleasing about the characters that might balance out the puppy boy or the silly wolf. My pairings are about balance and completion as I see it, not anything else. So it is for the sake of balance and completion that I will always pair Kagome with Sesshomaru. They are the sun and the moon and so will always circle each other in an eternal dance, at least in my mind. That being said, let's go on to what I did and why I did it.

I grovel before my readers. I worship you. I love you all and swim in the praise of your reviews. (Hint, hint, send me more! More, more, more! They make me want to write more stories.) If it had not been for the survey of my readers on A.Single.Spark, this story would never have seen the light of day, and so, it is with this in mind that I say every major edit you find in this rewritten version of my story was in some way brought about by a particularly well thought out and perceptive review that gave me suggestions on how to improve. The rest is just Ivy being nit-picky.

The first thing you'll have noticed is that I wove in the fractures of story in the add on that once was in this story which I titled "Everything In Between." The only part I left out was the death of Kohaku. Frankly, I couldn't find a place to put it and, well, there wasn't a reason to put it in. I either hint or state that Kohaku is dead several times in the story. We don't need a scene to confirm it.

The next bit that I changed had to do with the rape of the second Kagome and the punishment of Kyo. Ok, so here's the deal. I didn't want to remove the rape, but I wanted to change it a bit. The reason I wanted to change it was because I wanted the second Kagome to be even more of a victim of both circumstance and her own naïve view of Kyo and of the world. The reason for the rape was to balance out the rape of Rin which had been by Takaya, the youkai aid of Sesshomaru. I wanted to create two very similar situations that showed how brutal both the human and the youkai world were and are and always will be. Kagome and Sesshomaru's home and circle is a haven, a sanctuary, however that does not make them immune to heartache.

I threw in the torture of Kyo because a few of my readers really wanted to see it. I always love writing Hitomi and Kouga together. They are sadistic, cruel and undeniably dark and yet they have a purity and beauty to them. They aren't truly evil. As I note in the final chapter before the epilogue, they aren't monsters. The ones they kill are monsters. And so I write Hitomi and Kouga with great pleasure even though I could never possibly do such a thing to anyone as they do to Kyo. I wanted Souta to kill Kyo, however, without mercy. So much of Souta is like his mother that I wanted to make sure that it was clear how much of him actually is his father's son. I wanted Souta to have a very "Sesshomaru" moment that was as dark as it was cathartic. I wanted him to have a healing moment where he could avenge his mate, his sister and the child he once was that Takaya and war and loss had killed in him. I also needed the healing time between the second Kagome and Souta where they truly came together as one and found the strength to begin to move on from what they had suffered.

And now for what I actually feel guilty over writing. The death of Satori and Kaede. I bow to my readers. You were right. Three rapes was just one too many and so I killed her another way… And two birds with one stone, even. I don't mean to make light of it. Honestly I am getting a bit teary just writing about what I wrote and I need to bring in some levity or I'll be bawling just like I was when I finished that particular scene. That was one of the most painful scenes I've ever written. The moments particularly between Kaede and Akira where he realizes he can't save her and he breaks his word that he will promise her anything when he realizes she wants him to forgive the humans for killing her. Two words did it to me. "I lied." Everything before that was just a build up to the moment when I broke down. Up until this scene I had written the heights love can bring us to. The murder of Kagome's first child, the slaying of Kyo by Souta… Yeah, those were pretty low, however those involved rose from the depths they had been sent through the power of love. They chose to live in the light and move on. They chose to live. For a moment, I wanted to make everyone doubt that love would conquer once again. I wanted to stagger you all. I wanted to still you and let you feel the true depths of loss and pain and madness one can slip into when despair threatens to overtake us. I wanted to because I didn't want to write this scene but I knew it had to be done and I knew my readers wanted me to. Face it. You watch anime, you're just asking to get your heart torn out and stomped on. I learned that when I watched Escaflowne all the way through the first time. I never cried so hard over a piece of fiction in my life before then. And you have to know that when the manga is actually done, we're all going to get our hearts torn out by Inuyasha, too, and we'll love Rumiko Takahashi even more as we see our still beating vitals held in her grip. But I might be wrong. We might actually get a happy ending. I just think we'll go through hell to get it so why should my Fanfiction be any different than what will most likely happen in the manga?

And, yet, we still had our happy ending, didn't we? It just goes to show that you all should have faith in me. Might put you through hell, but you'll still get a good ending out of me if you're patient. And this really wasn't an ending, now was it? It was a slowing to a stop. It was an ebbing to a gradual halt. Because the story had to stop somewhere and I was getting tired. Also there was "To Know The Man" to write and "Kaidan" and all of the others I have posted. In any case, I hope all of you enjoyed my story. I hope you enjoyed the changes and can forgive me for adding the painful stuff. I doubt I'll ever feel like this story is finished or perfect. I doubt I'll ever walk away from it and not feel like I could have done something different to make it better, however, it will always be a testament to my breakthrough during a time in my life when I didn't know if I'd have a happily ever after or even if I'd have my own story at all.

As always, Peace.

Ivy.


End file.
